How much do you cry?

[[N2...]]

Hello, let me start off by saying, I never had depression. I had problems sleeping, so the doctor put me on Ambien. Slept good but started waking with depression. So he switch me to Ativan. After about 3 month, I started to get depression and crying like a baby for no reason. And now getting anxiety and panic attacks, strange thoughts and more. its hard to enjoy life now. Sometimes I think this is just a bad dream.  :'( 

[[Si...]]

Hi, Turbo.  I know, life is not enjoyable in this state.  Every day, it's more of the same.  Are you still taking the Ativan?  -Jeff

[[N2...]]

The Ativan stopped working at 3MG for sleep. I cut down to 1.5MG Last week, doing good today no depression no anxiety no scary thoughts. I am going to wait about 2 days and cut  another .25mg. I have to get off this hell med. Its affecting my family and job, it was making feel really crazy. I thought I was going crazy, I feel really good today. Back to my old self    You just have to tell your self, your going to get threw this. I was worried it was me.

[[N2...]]

Down to 1MG today no depression.

 

[[le...]]

I cried when I was on Ativan and during my sleepless crossover, but since the valium has taken hold I feel too numb to cry. I'm starting to feel a little less of the sedating/relaxing effects of it as I taper below 5 mg so I'm thinking once I get lower than 2 mg or something I should start to feel a little more vibrant. Well, I'm not a very vibrant person, but a little more like me at least.

 

Earlier this month an old colleague friend my parents' age passed away. We were so close from 2008-11 and I literally felt nothing when I found out. I kept ruminating on my own symptoms and what I was going to have for lunch and could hardly even feel sad. Back a few years ago way before benzos someone I hadn't seen in almost 15 years died suddenly and I felt depressed for 3 days even though I was on vacation in Las Vegas.

 

I just don't like how valium dulls me, but I'll admit it's easier on my CNS than Ativan was. Trade offs, I guess.