12 years of Xanax for sleep. No More, all better now!

[[ma...]]

Thank you . I am 11months out life is very different now. I didnt Know i was addicted

[[Ma...]]

[

 

Sleep was my reason for starting benzos to begin with and I am happy to say that I have that figured out and sleep is good again. I have a few recipes that I take as needed when I absolutely need a good night sleep. Mostly supplements, no prescriptions and certainly nothing that will set back the healing and mess with the GABA receptors.

 

WILSON,

 

Can you share what these sleep recipes are?  I'm supplementing with trazadone and don't want to increase it anymore.

[[Bu...]]

[

 

Sleep was my reason for starting benzos to begin with and I am happy to say that I have that figured out and sleep is good again. I have a few recipes that I take as needed when I absolutely need a good night sleep. Mostly supplements, no prescriptions and certainly nothing that will set back the healing and mess with the GABA receptors.

 

WILSON,

 

Can you share what these sleep recipes are?  I'm supplementing with trazadone and don't want to increase it anymore.

 

Hello Mags Buddy, 

 

Hoping that you're doing well and enjoying the spring, the spring-time of our lives for us survivors! 

 

Sure, My system for sleep is many faceted, but it works. This summer when the kids are out of school and I don't have to get up so early, I am going to try nothing at all, but for now I rotate these few recipes.

 

Bedtime for me is 11:30pm

 

5pm - 125mg Niacinamide and 99mg potassium.

 

Dinner - 600mg Omega3

 

9pm Either Kava Kava Tea or 200mg Gaba or 2.5mg CBN cookie or 500mg magnesium & 50mg 5htp  or sometimes just a glass of wine and a puff of Indica... 

 

10:30pm I take a combination of 2 or 3 of these, I rotate them: 300mg milk peptides, 100-200mg Gaba, 500mg taurine, 2.5mg cbn cookie, 500mg magnesium, Calms sleep tabs, Hylands "Nerve Tonic", 12.5-25mg Doxylamine, and rarely 200mg Gabapentin or 12.5mg phenergan or 10mg Flexeril.

 

10:30 - Carbs and milk

 

One hour before bed, I say my prayers, release the day, deep breathe and then read.

 

Right as I lay down I often use .5mg of Melatonin sublingually.

 

I know that some of these supplements have been said to effect GABA receptors, but I am 99% healed so I use them. I have had pretty good sleep since I jumped 11 months ago with the above stuff and zero daytime issues, so the trade off was worth it to me.

 

I really love the Kava Kava in a tension tamer tea at night; it potentiates my stack of stuff. But again, I rotate everything and take nothing more than twice a week and rarely the prescription stuff.

 

Sometimes I think that after so many years of popping Xanax for sleep I'm just conditioned to take something, so this is just a habit... Again, this summer I go Au natural. 

 

All the best of sleepy dreams to you Magnolis,

 

 

Wilson 

 

 

[[Su...]]

thanks for this post! I'm new to tapering and needed some solid peppy talk about X.

 

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Wilson. I'll check these out.  I'm also conditioned to take something.

 

 

.

 

 

[[...]]

Thank for this success story and congrats!! Can't wait to write mine one day...

I'm at 4.5 Mg Valium equivalent and my last cut was too big for me, so suffering and holding. Before that it was going well for a few months...but then I got impatient and went faster. In this last cut, I developed a new symptom- esophageal spasms- it's weird. Did you get new sxs thru your taper and do they go away??

 

Also, I have been doing C/h and it was working well until this last cut. When you switched to daily taper, did you still have sxs? I tried MT once for 10 days and it was really bad for me. Maybe I went too fast but it scared me back to C/h. A lot of change makes me worse so maybe C/h is better for my body.

 

Thank you for coming back to help those of us on this journey!

[[Bu...]]

Hello Libr,

 

Thanks for the kind words, I will answer in Red for you, hope it helps...

 

Thank for this success story and congrats!! Can't wait to write mine one day...

I'm at 4.5 Mg Valium equivalent and my last cut was too big for me, so suffering and holding. Before that it was going well for a few months...but then I got impatient and went faster. In this last cut, I developed a new symptom- esophageal spasms- it's weird. Did you get new sxs thru your taper and do they go away?? Yes I had many weird symptoms pop up throughout my taper; random joint pain that would move around my body, constantly tearing eyes, eye twitching, super sore feet, teeth pain, bloating belly, vibrations while sleeping, too many to remember them all, really... But they all only lasted a few days to two weeks. I took them as a good sign that different GABA sites around my body were coming back online!  

 

Also, I have been doing C/h and it was working well until this last cut. When you switched to daily taper, did you still have sxs? Switching to a slow daily micro taper was the best thing that I did, All symptoms got less severe. I tried MT once for 10 days and it was really bad for me. Maybe I went too fast but it scared me back to C/h. A lot of change makes me worse so maybe C/h is better for my body. My LDMT was fairly low cuts, I even held a few times throughout for a few days. I also started adding different supplements to potentiate my decreasing dose, that really helped also.

 

Thank you for coming back to help those of us on this journey! My pleasure. I learned so much here and was helped by so many wonderful Buddies, It's the least that I can do.

 

All the best and good healing, just know that you will be completely fine in no time, power through, embrace the suck!

 

Wilson 

[[...]]

Hello Libr,

 

Thanks for the kind words, I will answer in Red for you, hope it helps...

 

Thank for this success story and congrats!! Can't wait to write mine one day...

I'm at 4.5 Mg Valium equivalent and my last cut was too big for me, so suffering and holding. Before that it was going well for a few months...but then I got impatient and went faster. In this last cut, I developed a new symptom- esophageal spasms- it's weird. Did you get new sxs thru your taper and do they go away?? Yes I had many weird symptoms pop up throughout my taper; random joint pain that would move around my body, constantly tearing eyes, eye twitching, super sore feet, teeth pain, bloating belly, vibrations while sleeping, too many to remember them all, really... But they all only lasted a few days to two weeks. I took them as a good sign that different GABA sites around my body were coming back online!  

 

Also, I have been doing C/h and it was working well until this last cut. When you switched to daily taper, did you still have sxs? Switching to a slow daily micro taper was the best thing that I did, All symptoms got less severe. I tried MT once for 10 days and it was really bad for me. Maybe I went too fast but it scared me back to C/h. A lot of change makes me worse so maybe C/h is better for my body. My LDMT was fairly low cuts, I even held a few times throughout for a few days. I also started adding different supplements to potentiate my decreasing dose, that really helped also.

 

Thank you for coming back to help those of us on this journey! My pleasure. I learned so much here and was helped by so many wonderful Buddies, It's the least that I can do.

 

All the best and good healing, just know that you will be completely fine in no time, power through, embrace the suck!

 

Wilson 

 

HI Wilson , would you care to elaborate on what you used to potentiate your dose decreases? Perhaps you've written about it elsewhere , and could direct me to that! Thanks! MiYu

[[Ch...]]

So very well written and inspiring...thank you for posting this message of hope!!

 

[[Bu...]]

Hello Libr,

 

Thanks for the kind words, I will answer in Red for you, hope it helps...

 

Thank for this success story and congrats!! Can't wait to write mine one day...

I'm at 4.5 Mg Valium equivalent and my last cut was too big for me, so suffering and holding. Before that it was going well for a few months...but then I got impatient and went faster. In this last cut, I developed a new symptom- esophageal spasms- it's weird. Did you get new sxs thru your taper and do they go away?? Yes I had many weird symptoms pop up throughout my taper; random joint pain that would move around my body, constantly tearing eyes, eye twitching, super sore feet, teeth pain, bloating belly, vibrations while sleeping, too many to remember them all, really... But they all only lasted a few days to two weeks. I took them as a good sign that different GABA sites around my body were coming back online!  

 

Also, I have been doing C/h and it was working well until this last cut. When you switched to daily taper, did you still have sxs? Switching to a slow daily micro taper was the best thing that I did, All symptoms got less severe. I tried MT once for 10 days and it was really bad for me. Maybe I went too fast but it scared me back to C/h. A lot of change makes me worse so maybe C/h is better for my body. My LDMT was fairly low cuts, I even held a few times throughout for a few days. I also started adding different supplements to potentiate my decreasing dose, that really helped also.

 

Thank you for coming back to help those of us on this journey! My pleasure. I learned so much here and was helped by so many wonderful Buddies, It's the least that I can do.

 

All the best and good healing, just know that you will be completely fine in no time, power through, embrace the suck!

 

Wilson 

 

HI Wilson , would you care to elaborate on what you used to potentiate your dose decreases? Perhaps you've written about it elsewhere , and could direct me to that! Thanks! MiYu

 

Hello MiYu,

 

I posted this a few weeks ago, it's a little long but this is all of what I used and learned regarding sleep during my taper and post jump. I would say that Bacopa monierrri and Kava Kava were among the best things I used to potentiate my decreasing dose, that as well as mixing in a little doxylamine succinate (12.5-37.5mg) when sleep was really needed.

 

Good luck Buddy,

 

Wilson 

[[Bu...]]

So very well written and inspiring...thank you for posting this message of hope!!

 

Ahhh, thanks Choco... I do feel that hope and positive expectations are really a key in all of this; healing is what the body and brain want to do...

 

Is that a Yorkie in your Avatar? I have two Yorkies, Cody and Emma, aren't Yorkies the best? They were so supportive and comforting to me throughout my ordeal.             

 

G-O-D * D-O-G ! 

 

Wilson 

[[Si...]]

Hey there Wilson, it's me again, from the introduction board earlier!  After I sent you a reply, I thought I'd read your story, and I really enjoyed hearing how you persevered and won!  Nice story!

-Jeff

[[Fl...]]

Hello My fellow Buddies,

 

If someone would have told me 18 months ago that I could and would become benzo free with no lasting effects, I would not have believed them. But I did, I beat the beast and am finally free and have learned and grown so much. I apologize if this post is too long, but here’s my story.

 

I am a 56 year old man. I was taking 1mg of alprazolam (Xanax) each night before bed for chronic insomnia for more than 12 years. No biggy right? Wrong! After Ambien and all of the other sleep aids performed poorly my doctor prescribed (Xanax). He told me repeatedly that as long as I was only taking it for sleep once a day I would be fine and never get addicted or reach tolerance. Not true and dangerously ill-informed of him to say the least. Like many people I never questioned my doctor and in his defense he was never taught the subtle and sometimes evasive problems related to long term benzo use, now he understands. 

 

Looking back I started to have symptoms of what I now know is Inner-dose withdrawal (IDWD) almost immediately. Yes the Xanax was putting and keeping me asleep just fine, it was a “miracle drug”. But soon I started to have chest pains in the afternoon that lasted until I dosed again before bed, imagine that. Within a year or so my heartbeat became irregular and I finally went to see many specialists and had numerous tests performed, my heart was fine they said, “perfect health”. No-one connected the dots that I was taking Xanax once a day and that this could be causing my symptoms. They all said that “chest wall pain and slight arrhythmia is not un-common learn to live with it.”

 

More than ten years later and many years of living with the heart stuff I reached a new point and crashed. All of a sudden one day I experienced what I now understand was a panic attack; shortness of breath, impending doom, rapid heartbeat, textbook panic attack. My wife rushed me to the ER, more tests and “nothing, your fine, go home”. After two more ER visits in quick succession and misdiagnosis’ like “possible asthma, stress, generalized anxiety disorder” etcetera, I was lost with little hope. Like a fool My P-doc said let’s take you off of the Xanax and try Buspar in the day and Ambien for sleep. Then things got real, really fast, oh the horror. 

 

Suddenly stopping Xanax use after 12+ years sent me in to a total and complete withdrawal disaster. I had every symptom you can imagine; Almost no sleep for days on end with only quick naps in the day time, frequent panic attacks, auditory hallucinations, complete loss of appetite, no sex drive, strange ideation, anger, depression, agitation, tinnitus and more. It got so bad that I went to see a cognitive behavioral therapist, she was no help and had no clue or advice except “maybe start looking for a Psychiatric hospital.” My wife and I were devastated and I was scared to death. 

 

We were praying all along throughout this ordeal. But finally I pleaded “Dear God please enlighten the physicians trying to help me or guide me to come up with the answer to this sudden illness.” It was that very day that I serendipitously found Benzobuddies.com, literally an answer to prayer. Within an hour of surfing the forums, I knew what my “illness” was; it was like a veil had been removed from before my eyes. I now pray several times a day, usually prayers of thanks, gratitude and humility…

 

I will not mention the names of my fellow Benzo Buddies who helped me understand what was going on out of fear of leaving someone out. But there were so many of you “Benzo-Angels”, I thank you all, I love You and am forever in your debt, you saved me. 

 

So with advice and guidance I immediately re-instated the Xanax to stabilize and ALL of the WD symptoms disappeared immediately, Bingo that was it, I was a Benzo addict in withdrawal. So Let’s make a plan and beat this thing, game on!

 

I learned that taking the Xanax nightly for sleep was great for insomnia but its quick half-life was leaving me in withdrawal every afternoon causing the symptoms of panic attacks and heart issues. So after educating my doctor and making him read the Ashton manual we moved to Valium for sleep. Valium’s super long half-life eliminated the IDWD effects within two days, I felt great and was sleeping well. My long time “heart issues” completely disappeared! No rapid pulse, no chest wall pain, because there was no daily withdrawal. 

 

After learning what was going on with GABA receptor down-regulation and Glutamate receptor up-regulating as a result of Benzo use (Thanks Parker) I knew I had to get off of all Benzo’s completely. My brain had re-wired itself and I didn’t want to suffer with this brain damage any more. Time to taper and get of all Benzos, Now!

 

I also learned that 1mg of Xanax is equal to 20mg of Valium. Due to the very long acting half-life of Valium and it building up in my blood stream I made a 25% cut after 4 days, no real problem at all. Then I started cutting 1mg per week. With each cut I would feel mild anxiety for a day or two until I stabilized, this was tolerable and a few things helped, Theanine, Bacopa Monnieri, Kava Kava and GABA chewables. I literally tried every vitamin, supplement, meditation technique and anything else that you can think of to try and reduce the effects from cutting. Some things worked and some didn’t at all. As my dose got lower the cuts started to cause more anxiety, insomnia and other issues for a few days after each cut, so I slowed down the tapering.

 

After a couple of months and at around 8mg each night I switched to a daily taper. This was amazing! I no longer had any wd effects with each large weekly cut and hold. Small daily cuts were not even noticed. From that point on right up until my final jump at .25mg I no longer had any wd effects at all! Larger weekly cuts felt jerky like riding a bike down a flight of stairs, while a small daily taper was like gliding down a ramp, smooth. All was good. Sleep had not completely returned but I was getting by and found other non-benzo supplements to help with that off label Flexeril, Phenergan, gabapentin and especially tryptophan. I would rotate these as needed with melatonin as well. I also started a full vitamin regimen with lot's of magnesium. Not perfect sleep but manageable. Lowering my expectations in many areas of my life helped to take the pressure off of me throughout this ordeal. I was getting 8+ hours of sleep a night taking Xanax and now I was getting 4 or 5 and sometimes only a few. Oh well, good time for binge TV watching. 

 

Once I got to around 5mg of Valium each night for sleep pill cutting became un-exact and troublesome. It is amazing how the body will notice it when the dose isn’t right. So I moved to a liquid taper with daily cuts. This too was a suggestion form my Buddies and worked wonderfully. Converting 5mg to 500ml made exact small cuts simple. This technique can be tricky for some but it is explained very well by a few members here on Benzobuddies, if you PM me I can also explain this for you. 

 

As I mentioned Insomnia was my original problem that started me on benzo’s to begin with. This was and still is an issue for me but I have learned to manage it well. Having said that I am still not sure if this continuing insomnia is a side effect of tapering or the original underlying insomnia just coming back. Either way I know that whatever I do or take to deal with it, I will never use a benzo to treat anything. I have researched and found things that help and do not alter the neurotransmitters and receptors in my brain. It’s true that nothing works quite as well as benzo’s do, thus the insidiousness of their tender trap. Sooner or later everyone who takes them will hit tolerance and without knowledgeable physicians (or Benzobuddies) things can get really ugly really fast. 

 

It has now been almost 8 months since I completely jumped from Xanax-valium. I have had maybe 5 or 6 very minor panic attacks or strange flashes of discomfort the entire time. They have lasted from a few seconds to a few minutes, but were very manageable with techniques that I learned and they were fewer and further in between. I have been completely free of even those symptoms for a month or two now. Thank God, and Thank You all at Benzobuddies.

 

I will post or respond to anyone who wants to know what supplements, gadgets and philosophies I have used throughout my crossover, taper and jump. I literally tried everything, some worked well and others made things worse. But most of all I want to tell anyone else out there on the same path but just beginning the process, things WILL get better, give it time. 

 

Again thank you so very much to all of you who helped me overcome this difficult challenge in my life. God Bless  and Good Healing,

 

 

Wilson

 

PS: Believe it or not, I see this entire experience from addiction to Benzo free as a positive and beneficial lesson in my life. I have learned so much and am now well prepared for whatever life throws at me next.

 

Did your tinnitus improve? glad you made it?

[[Bu...]]

 

Did your tinnitus improve? glad you made it?

 

Yes John, it did. Like most of my symptoms, with the exception of insomnia, tinnitus came and went, lasting just a few weeks... I also had a week or so when my ears felt pressurized like I was under water, I also had clicking and other auditory oddities... 

 

I took the many symptoms and there transitory nature around my body to be a good sign. All of my GABA receptors were beginning to wake up and come back online one at a time, like a remodel project! 

 

Good Healing,

 

Wilson 

[[Bi...]]

 

Did your tinnitus improve? glad you made it?

 

Yes John, it did. Like most of my symptoms, with the exception of insomnia, tinnitus came and went, lasting just a few weeks... I also had a week or so when my ears felt pressurized like I was under water, I also had clicking and other auditory oddities... 

 

I took the many symptoms and there transitory nature around my body to be a good sign. All of my GABA receptors were beginning to wake up and come back online one at a time, like a remodel project! 

 

Good Healing,

 

Wilson 

 

Tinnitus was and still could be a biggy for me.  I hope it heals and I get get off all meds some day.

[[fi...]]

BuhbyeBenzos, congratulations and thanks for letting us know that healing does indeed take place.

[[Mo...]]

Great to read your amazing journey with so much detail.  For me, this all happened 8 or 9 years ago and i can't remember the details.  But all this time I have been feeling guilty about not giving back the hope that was given to me. Sometimes, when you first get off benzos you are so exhausted and depleted you just want to get far away from all reminders of the ordeal.  It's only when you feel safe and normal again that you can come back to help.  I may not be here long because now I am dealing with another health issue that is sucking up my time and energy (please say a prayer for me) but I wanted to at least let people know that it is possible to do a direct taper off Klonopin and also that eventually there will be no more withdrawal symptoms.

 

Congratulations on your success and thanks for sticking around to help others!