Sharkey or oregonkatz?? Help?

[[ga...]]

Gard,

THANKS!

XO

Sue

 

p.s.-can we fight this together? Let's do it!

ok? I feel so alone even amongst great family and friends!

You too?

 

Oh, absolutely, to both! Most of my friends and family have either drifted away or I've pushed them away because they say such unhelpful things! I do have two kids in college who bravely try to be supportive even when I'm being a pain! School starts in 2 weeks, though. We're working on a plan for how to deal with that right now because I do need some support around the house.

 

I have a blog and you are more than welcome to join us.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=137928.msg1848581#msg1848581

 

Please read my intro posts about:

1. How to keep the garden growing rather than being choked out by weeds. (This is an emotional support blog. I rarely touch tapering, because I am not a tapering guru.)

2. Asking for an introduction from people so we can get to know each other better!

 

Sometimes katz is over there. Not many of the guys show up, though. (Come on, guys! At least give me an introduction, then you can leave.) If you want to get to know a bunch of great people, start at the beginning and read straight through! Then post your introduction. I will be looking for it!

 

Other helpful places on BB:

 

Fiona's blog is fun, too, if you like crazy critter memes. She is a long-time fighter of this battle and has created a world of imaginary cats to help us all through. What's funny is how many of us (me included) didn't realize that she actually can have no real pets where she lives and is practically housebound and not really globetrotting. She flips back and forth between real and imaginary and had me faked out for a long time! Fiona struggles a lot but is very encouraging to everybody else who struggles, too. Pop in and tell her Gardener sent you to meet the critters!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=113238.msg1879195;topicseen#new

 

 

The gratitude support thread forces me to think positive thoughts every day. It has fizzled down to me and MT, so we need help! We would love to have you come over and try to think of something to be thankful for every day. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=131316.0;topicseen

 

 

Gard

 

P.S. I was going to guess a 5% uptick, also, but SG beat me to it. And, as a rule, I go with SG's math anyway.

 

 

[[Br...]]

Thanks, Gard!! for your message and the other sites

to check out! (blogs, etc) I'm not real good with the computer

but hopefully I can find things ok.

 

SG,

I'm sorry, I'm confused. So how do I add this, if it's .025.

And is this if I'm stay with the liquid taper or is this amount if

I'm going back to solid pills for now.

 

I think the more "worked up" I get, the more upset and confusion.

The pharmacy is confusing me because they don't have the 1 mg

in the new brand that I'm on, or the 0.5mg or something like that.

 

I'm calling the doctor to see what I can do but am not sure what

I'm even asking at this point. Can you help?? (sorry)

They have a script for me at the pharmacy for the 0.5mg, not sure

if they have one for the 1mg pills. I NEED the "wiggle" room of a 1mg

pill. Make sense? Can you help?

Thx,

Sue   

[[...]]

Adding .025mg would require liquifying the K.  Or if you had a scale you could also do it that way.  I can't remember if you have a scale.

 

You could take .5mg dry as usual and just add the .025mg with liquid if you wanted.

 

I don't understand why a 1mg is desired over .5mg?  I'm not getting that.  When tapering it is hard to go wrong with the smallest pill possible, so a script for all .5mg sounds great if you can get it.

[[Br...]]

It's not half of the 0.5mg, right?

Because that would be .25 not .025, right?

 

I guess I'm getting (and have been) alittle paranoid

about not having enough k, running out too soon, etc.

 

Before I reinstated, I ended up in the ER with panic attacks

approx four times and was scared to death when I realized

the doctor would think I was just "drug seeking" and almost

didn't get a benzo prescribed. I was in such a state of

panic and didn't know what I'd do if I didn't get that help of

a benzo that I needed because I was so bad. Now I sound

like a drug addict! Geez! But I'm not. The doctors did this to

me and as I've been told....I am now physiologically addicted.

 

Even adding the .025mg means I need to "use up" alittle more

of the drug right? Sorry I need so much help. The fear doesn't

help any. 

 

 

[[...]]

This has absolutely nothing to do with addiction.  Basically we've all been poisoned.  The drug has caused a physical change to your neurons and the drug is now required for it to function properly.  The reversal process is extremely slow, but we know how to do it.  If the doctors would just listen and get with the program that would help.

 

Yes, .025mg is 1/10th of .25mg...a small amount.  You'd need to dose a bit more than .5mg a day and there might be some waste.  Can you afford to waste any?

[[Br...]]

Yes, that small amount I can afford to waste.

 

I'm crying because I feel so validated from all of you and

especially from what you just said about addiction, etc.

 

It's devastating what has happened and I am on that drug

merry-go-round and have been for 25 years or so.....so I

feel like a complicated mess! I actually think I'm being alittle

stubborn trying not to add lamictal to the mix when I think

it helped somewhat.

 

I was under the impression that the benzos are the MAIN

beast and once off that, I will be ok to taper the others.

I'm on the smallest dose possible for me of prozac (15mgs)

but need help with anger (I think some is benzo rage, or most)

and extreme anxiety, and the lamictal I think helped some.

But I freak out about all of these stupid drugs now, don't

trust doctors, pharmacists and am so GRATEFUL for your help.

(ya'll's help!!) 

 

I do have a gemini scale from one of my past ATTEMPTS at getting

off of this crap so.....

 

Let's roll??

Let me know what I have to do. Just shave an amount that ends up

weighing the .025 and add to the mix?

Thank You SG.

(sorry, I try to joke but am actually scared to death because of what

this drug has done to me, my family, etc.)

 

[[...]]

Well, if you have a scale you have the option: you can liquify or file.  If you liquify and the pill is a 1mg then the liquid would be 40 days worth.  Since it may not be a good idea to store a homemade liquid that long there will be a lot of waste.  Honestly I don't think I'd want to store a homemade liquid for more that a week or two.  But if you can waste .7-.8mg a week it is a good option.

 

Otherwise, with filing you can do it so you save the entire pill and not waste much, if any.  If you tell me the pill dose size and weight I can tell you how much it should weigh to get .025mg.

 

Take your pick.  You have the option.

[[Br...]]

SG,

If I get the 0.5mg script filled which I could've done today but

wasn't sure what to do, it will be an EVEN DIFFERENT brand.

 

they don't have the brand I've been switched to in the 0.5mg pills.

SO.....should I see HOW I feel on them in the liquid before adding

any amount?

 

And what if the a low dose of lamictal helps keep me stable enough

to continue where I'm at? Or is that different because with the

benzo we are dealing with the gaba receptors, etc.?

 

I'm so sorry and understand if you can't follow this or am not sure

what to tell me. I just appreciate so much more the imput from all of

you then the doctors that don't know what they're talking about.

 

 

[[...]]

As far as the Lamictal, I don't think it is a good idea to try to solve a problem with one drug with another drug.  Lamictal is a powerful drug too.  But that is up to you.  I'm very against all psych drugs.

 

I think all these brands are the same and only differ by the amount of K in them.  This third brand could be even lower or it could be higher - it's an unknown.  It's really good to have .5mg pills but not required for liquid.  I don't know what to tell you.  There are pluses and minuses to both.

[[ga...]]

I'm curious, Brittany, is your doctor recommending lamictal to help with your taper? Or is there some other reason to be on it? As SG says, it's a powerful drug and one you will likely have to taper some day, also.

 

Also curious, is you pharmacy being difficult or will they special order a brand for you if you request it? I have found a local pharmacy that gives much better service than the big chains and will special order for me and have it the next day, so I use them and always ask for the certain brand and the certain size pill. I call 2 days ahead just to be safe, and so far they always get what I want for me and are happy to do so. Never a hint that I'm a nuisance like I get at the big chain stores.

[[Br...]]

Hi, SG

I'm going to get the 0.5mg script filled tomorrow morning

and see how I do on that brand. Then let you know. Is that

okay?

As for tonight......? I'll probably take the 1mg pill cut in half

and take the solid pill half 0.5mg for tonight.

Thanks,

Sue 

[[Br...]]

Hi, Gard

I needed help badly with the depression so the doctor put me

on prozac 10mgs which wasn't enough. When I went to 20mgs,

after about 3-4 days, I started feeling like I was having panic

attacks again so.....she added lamictal which calmed things down

and I was better. I had some stomach problems which might have

been from lamictal, maybe not. But I stopped it after that.

 

As far as the pharmacy, the manufacturer is the problem. The one

that made the klonopin I had been on for years, has it on back

order. It's possibly coming back in Sept/Oct or not at all. Not sure.

So when they started me on a new brand of k from a new manufacturer

I'm not doing as well. It's close to the time I started the liquid taper

which could be affecting things too. It's so hard to tell. And so upsetting

draining, etc. I've been fighting this a long time and am tired but have

to hang in. This is my fourth try at being free of this drug and Im

trying to do it with as little "other" drugs as possible.

 

How are you doing? Sorry I didn't see if you have a signature line.

Have you attempted a couple of times to get off? Or is this your first

time?

XO,

Sue 

[[ga...]]

Hi, Gard

I needed help badly with the depression so the doctor put me

on prozac 10mgs which wasn't enough. When I went to 20mgs,

after about 3-4 days, I started feeling like I was having panic

attacks again so.....she added lamictal which calmed things down

and I was better. I had some stomach problems which might have

been from lamictal, maybe not. But I stopped it after that.

 

As far as the pharmacy, the manufacturer is the problem. The one

that made the klonopin I had been on for years, has it on back

order. It's possibly coming back in Sept/Oct or not at all. Not sure.

So when they started me on a new brand of k from a new manufacturer

I'm not doing as well. It's close to the time I started the liquid taper

which could be affecting things too. It's so hard to tell. And so upsetting

draining, etc. I've been fighting this a long time and am tired but have

to hang in. This is my fourth try at being free of this drug and Im

trying to do it with as little "other" drugs as possible.

 

How are you doing? Sorry I didn't see if you have a signature line.

Have you attempted a couple of times to get off? Or is this your first

time?

XO,

Sue

 

I do know some docs use antidepressants during benzo tapers. A/Ds have never agreed with me, so I'm not trying one again. It's something to keep discussing with your doctor, though. 

 

I tapered off of trazodone right before I started my Xanax taper. These meds were prescribed mainly for sleep panics. Nothing really worked and they were making me worse, not better, so I decided I needed to get off of them. I started this Xanax taper in March, hit a wall in May and had to stop and tread water for quite some time.

 

I didn't get any windows and figured I was suffering for nothing, so I may as well start up the taper again. This time I am micro-tapering (because I was chicken to try a big cut again after hitting the wall). I found that MT-ing made no change in my symptoms either for better or for worse. Eventually, I decided I was tapering so slowly and was so on edge 24/7 that something had to give. So I spent a few weeks doing a half-way cross over to Librium. That was a bit bumpy, but has settled down and I feel so much better and am able to micro-taper much more comfortably. SG and the other gurus over on the micro-tapering support thread held my hand and made sure I did everything right. The chemistry and math part of my brain just does not work any more. But, I hear from those who have tapered off, that you do indeed get your brain back when you're done!

 

There is hope and we will get through this! One day at a time!

[[Br...]]

Gard,

I'm so happy for you that you are feeling alot better. You've been

through alot too.

 

One of my attempts was a cross-over to diazepam from the k which

I finished in January of this year after tapering for about 6 months.

Unfortunately, after about a week, I went crazy......pacing, panic attacks,

fear/terror, etc. Hung on for 5 1/2 months. Finally couldn't take it any longer

and went back on klonopin.

 

If I could get to a place like you where I'm feeling "better" enough then I

can continue on with the micro taper. All this switching up of brands, starting

the liquid taper knowing I might feel a difference at first is all consuming and

causing me fear. I'm not far away enough from just how dark things got for me

back starting in January so it's scary. I can't afford to go there again.

 

The prozac has helped some and if I need to add as little lamictal as possible

I might. I want to be free of this benzo and feel I can concentrate better on those

once that is out of the way. Make sense?

 

I'm picking up yet ANOTHER brand tomorrow because that's all they have in the

0.5mg pills and start the liquid (vodka/water) again and see how I do.

 

If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm trying my best to get stable.

I guess I fortunate that the prozac has helped some with the depression. The

lamictal did help with the anxiety which is the main problem now, along with anger.

 

Did you get any benzo rage?

 

Looking forward to tomorrow, starting the 0.5mg in liquid and see how I do.

 

Thanks for being there!!! 

[[ga...]]

I think SG is right, You just need to work on getting stable right now and a small up dose may be needed because of the brand switch. I up-dosed once with no bad long-lasting effects. Once you're stable, you can think about starting a very slow taper again. Right now just concentrate on getting stable.

 

While you're getting stable on your K, have you thought about starting a Buddy Blog? Or looking under the Other Medications forum for support since you are on more than just benzos? You may find people who can relate to your situation of being on multiple meds.

 

Good luck!

[[sh...]]

I think SG is right, You just need to work on getting stable right now and a small up dose may be needed because of the brand switch. I up-dosed once with no bad long-lasting effects. Once you're stable, you can think about starting a very slow taper again. Right now just concentrate on getting stable.

 

While you're getting stable on your K, have you thought about starting a Buddy Blog? Or looking under the Other Medications forum for support since you are on more than just benzos? You may find people who can relate to your situation of being on multiple meds.

 

Good luck!

 

I agree with them.  Although im not a fan of updosing, i dont believe it would cause any long term harm.  Gardener makes a very good point about other methods of dealing with your symptoms.  Im gonna put a link to my benzo free story.  It lists most of the things that helped me during my days of bad symptoms:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=137882.0

 

Stay strong!

sharkey

[[Br...]]

Sharkey,

Thank You for sharing your story. It is very inspiring!

I could hear some of the fear in you that I now have.

It's good to know you survived and are doing well.

Thanks for joining SG and builder, etc. in helping others.

 

I don't believe there's a scarier journey then this!

I went to the pharmacy this morning for a script for 0.5mg

pills of K. It is yet ANOTHER brand that I haven't been on

before. So, I am taking all of "ya'll's advice and going to

try and stabilize first.

 

Was going to ask SG and will ask you....should I stay on

the solid pill for now (0.5mg is my daily dose)to see how this

new brand reacts in my system before liquefying? I think that's

what I need to do.

 

It would be great if this new brand has enough of the k in it

that I don't have to updose. It is all so confusing for me right

now with my benzo brain. I REALLY didn't need a brand change

right now but as they say "it is what it is" so I guess I have to

deal with it. Thanks again!!

 

Hi, Gard,

Thank you too for your imput. I wish I was only on the benzo

but that is not the case. I do look forward to being free of that

the most because I think that will give me the HOPE I need to

continue on and get off the other.

Sue   

[[sh...]]

Sharkey,

Thank You for sharing your story. It is very inspiring!

I could hear some of the fear in you that I now have.

It's good to know you survived and are doing well.

Thanks for joining SG and builder, etc. in helping others.

 

I don't believe there's a scarier journey then this!

I went to the pharmacy this morning for a script for 0.5mg

pills of K. It is yet ANOTHER brand that I haven't been on

before. So, I am taking all of "ya'll's advice and going to

try and stabilize first.

 

Was going to ask SG and will ask you....should I stay on

the solid pill for now (0.5mg is my daily dose)to see how this

new brand reacts in my system before liquefying? I think that's

what I need to do.

 

It would be great if this new brand has enough of the k in it

that I don't have to updose. It is all so confusing for me right

now with my benzo brain. I REALLY didn't need a brand change

right now but as they say "it is what it is" so I guess I have to

deal with it. Thanks again!!

 

Hi, Gard,

Thank you too for your imput. I wish I was only on the benzo

but that is not the case. I do look forward to being free of that

the most because I think that will give me the HOPE I need to

continue on and get off the other.

Sue 

 

Yes take your dose in pill form for a little bit before you start to liquify

[[Br...]]

Thanks Sharkey!

Just saw your response.

 

I will take it in pill form for maybe a week or two?

 

Between family issues and benzo rage, I feel about

ready to break but am trying to stay strong and will

continue to fight through this mess!

Sue