Long-Term Users group - w/d and recovery after longterm use

[[Si...]]

Jeff, how did you choose that unusual UN?

If you mean  *Simon barsinister* its this Beck  https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Simon_Bar_Sinister_(Underdog_Film)

 

                                                          Nova xxx  :smitten:

Yes, Nova, but actually the original cartoon version!  He was the evil scientist on the old Underdog cartoons!

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=simonbarsinister&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-Address&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=Nl5o2os-mhhOoM%252CrKbYplfKwo7gRM%252C%252Fm%252F030d2q&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kSwGxiSpQZwDXOGg18x32ukjcHU9Q&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjYne7NnL7uAhWeAp0JHSqIDLgQ_B16BAgVEAE

 

-Jeff 

 

[[no...]]

Jeff, how did you choose that unusual UN?

If you mean  *Simon barsinister* its this Beck  https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Simon_Bar_Sinister_(Underdog_Film)

 

                                                          Nova xxx  :smitten:

Yes, Nova, but actually the original cartoon version!  He was the evil scientist on the old Underdog cartoons!

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=simonbarsinister&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-Address&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=Nl5o2os-mhhOoM%252CrKbYplfKwo7gRM%252C%252Fm%252F030d2q&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kSwGxiSpQZwDXOGg18x32ukjcHU9Q&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjYne7NnL7uAhWeAp0JHSqIDLgQ_B16BAgVEAE

 

-Jeff

Okey Dokey Jeff     http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AcBUSVxs82w/TLCfyVanH8I/AAAAAAAAiMY/nT0PBo07BlM/s1600/Underdog_Wallpaper.jpg  :laugh:

 

 

                                                          Nova xxx :smitten:

[[Si...]]

Ha ha, yes!  Thanks!

[[Ba...]]

Um, I'm off valium as of about 10 days ago.  Feel awful, but have felt awful through this taper.  I wonder why I did come off, frankly.  But valium I only got on TO get off and it never did me any good.

 

Anyhow, feeling lousy and not doing hardly anything.  Very isolated.

Still on about 5 mg ambien.    I was the slowest taper in the world but it was complicated by mirtazapine throwing me into acute.

 

I wish I could say it is a relief to be off but... no relief ;(  On these things like 35 years... does anyone recover after that?

[[St...]]

Hi Barbara,

 

I may be in a similar place with the exception that it is the 7.5 Mirtazapine along with about .125 of Clonazepam at night that helps me sleep and eat though it probably contributes to my feeling crappy most days as well. On 15mgs. Mirtazapine, I got akathesia.  Is that what happened to you? I’m a 69 year old grandmother former professional in healthcare if you can believe that? Should have researched these terrible meds much more carefully and not asked for an increase last fall, super dumb of me. They did enable me to have a long career however and most of that on a relatively low dose but it all turned south this past year as COVID isolation started a downward spiral along with the Clonazepam stopped working and was on a post breast cancer drug which inhibited estrogen, though don’t have much!

 

I’m starting to doubt if I shouldn’t just give into my docs  (psychiatrist’s) suggestion to updose the Clonazepam to feel better but afraid it won’t work for long if at all due to kindling and interdose withdrawal. Then I would have to have more and so on. The getting sleep part is what scares me most and feel like giving up and giving in whatever dose I end up on. I get really depressed without sleep as no brain reserve!  Family and husband just want me back and not sure I would recover and heal at this stage of life! Docs won’t go there on Valium taper and would need to do a do it yourself taper approach which though supported here is confusing to my addled brain.

 

Are you feeling a sense of accomplishment at least? You should!!!!

 

All the best from another long termer, Storm survivor

 

 

[[Ba...]]

No, feeling defeated, mainly.

 

Just existing, with no purpose.  Can't go to store on own mostly, altho fearful of Covid, too, so hard to know what is what.

 

I have repeatedly seen mirtazapine do people in, esp with clonopin.  It just put me into severe acute-- bedridden.  Only a gasp of sleep then awake... stomach a nightmare.  I only took it 6 weeks at a low dose.  But then I stopped it and wow.

 

Yes, I am addled, too.

[[St...]]

Barbara,

 

I hear you! How is your sleep on Z? Looks like you are tapering that as well. Good for you, you have really almost made it and that’s so admirable!

 

I’m not sure what to do about the Mirtazapine since it does seem to help with sleep at this point but is probably messing up my taper off K. I could probably take half of the 7.5 since it is sedating but I don’t think it will work if and when I ever get off K and I know it works on various receptors as well which is a problem too.

 

My life was full a year ago prior to COVID but now I feel pretty blue too, dealing with so many mental and physical symptoms even at this stage from going down from 1.0 K in 3 months. My body is screaming for more not less!

 

I read amazing posts from mostly younger folks on this forum but like you, have my doubts about the future and months of insomnia would be more than I probably could handle to be realistic. I keep arguing with myself over what to do next.

 

I was never a fraidy cat, complex job, Mom, Grandma, wife, traveled often by plane and always high energy during my adult life but now I often don’t want to leave my bedroom let alone the house and have put off family and friends a lot too, total agoraphobia and fear of just about everything. Husband is handling about everything right now and I’m not getting too far yet on my taper. I feel like a total wuss! I want to be who I was but can’t find her. Not sure what is me and what is BWS. I used to be more of a fighter.

 

Has your personality changed? You have come so far that I would hope you will experience healing. How are your physical symptoms?

 

Thanks for listening. 

 

Storm

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Yes came far but this not working all alone and isolated.

 

The worst symptoms are no sleep, vibrating, myoclonic jerks, burning pain on arms, fear, dread, phobias.

 

This is all since the mirtaz and then i continued my taper thinking that was tahe right thing to do.

I wish I had not.

 

[[St...]]

Barbara,

 

I feel so bad for you. Your symptoms sound really bad. I can only imagine the agony! Do you have any support? Are you eating? Can you get necessities?

 

Yes, for me the Mirtazapine does upset my stomach but then everything does so hard to say. I’m not far in my taper and already have a ton of fear and phobias and other myriad physical symptoms but not yet the intense suffering you describe. 

 

I was only on 1.0 K for 3 weeks and when I wanted to bring that down quickly is when I found out the hard way I was already hooked on that dose. It got pretty intense when I cut 25% immediately and the shock of that has given me a lot of fear going forward. Threw me into current state of benzo withdrawal. Found BB.

 

Did your symptoms only get super bad only after the episode with Mirtazapine?

 

I hope you can feel better eventually. Some suggest you have to stop sleep med as well before sleep returns. I can only imagine how horrible because I’m in this mess from chasing sleep.

 

No platitudes from me but I do believe you have unique value and we have no choice but to hang on hoping to see better days ahead. You have come so far. You are not alone. You have BB. You have me though I’m pretty down on who I am at present. I feel alone too and terribly so even though my husband is here I can’t be a wife to him nor a productive member of the family and causes much depression and grief. I spend much time by myself.

 

Please let me know how you’re doing no matter how bad. You can tell it like it is.

 

Storm

 

 

[[Lo...]]

I've never posted on this thread in the past as I've pretty much stuck to the Xanax group.  However, since I'm definitely a long term user, when I saw this thread, I thought I'd share with you what I recently posted in the Xanax group with the hope that maybe it can help someone who needs to hear a long term story....

 

My Benzodiazepine journey to date – and the stages of grief that ensued.

 

 

I’ve refrained from talking much about my background or profession over the years because quite frankly, it caused me a great deal of embarrassment.  I have a master’s degree in Clinical and Counseling Psychology.  I have done extensive work counseling those suffering from personality and mood disorders as well as bereavement.  I was working toward licensure when I found out about my Xanax dependance and it stopped me in my tracks!  How could this have happened to someone so educated in the field?  Well, it did!  It started almost 15 years prior…  and4 years ago, my world as I knew it, came to a grinding halt!

 

I liken my journey thus far to experiencing the “Stages of Grief.”  While each stage encompassed the true depth of the emotion at that time, please know that every single one of these stages were present in some form (and remain) throughout the journey.  Just when you think you’ve “graduated” and moved on to the next step, a little piece of it comes back but thankfully never to the degree it was at the onset.

 

1.) Like many on here I was on a high dose ox Xanax. Initially I was prescribed 1 mg per day for the first year or so, and over the years it increased to 4 mgs per day which I stayed at for a good 15 years.  I topped out at 6 mgs for only a few months and that is where I began my taper.  However, at the beginning of my taper I now know that I was in absolute denial that this was happening to me and that my life as I knew it would change drastically.  I began to research my tolerance symptoms.  At the time I honestly thought that my anxiety just kept getting worse through the years even when I had absolutely no reason to feel anxious. My doctors told me as much.  Like everyone else, I attributed all the physical symptoms to anxiety until I stumbled upon the dreaded benzo information.  At the time I was truly disheartened, afraid, and literally in denial!  Que the first stage of grief!... DENIAL! I stayed here for a year as I haphazardly eliminated 1 milligram over the course of a year.  I had moments when I simply did not want to believe that I was physically dependent on a drug that I dutifully took as prescribed for almost 2 decades! I went on to have many days, weeks and sometimes months of "wishing it away".  Denial served me well... until just like the Xanax, it didn't.

 

2.)  Hello ANGER!  Now the time came to want to sue the doctor who prescribed them without consent, the pharmaceutical company who manufactured the drug, the doctor who continued to prescribe them, the narcissistic people (person) who negatively affected my life with verbal and psychological abuse (I’m an empath, AKA: a target) that caused much of the darn anxiety to begin with. Due to my constant walking on eggshells caused by the abuse, I ultimately mentioned it to my doctor and the Xanax was prescribed!  I hated the people in my life who caused me so much anxiety… every single one of them.  But most of all, I hated myself for allowing myself to become so weak that these people even had a shed of power over me!  I spent a solid year being angrier than I had ever been in my entire life.  I started tapering with so much anger! Anger motivated me to start my taper but held me back in so many other ways!

 

3.)  The symptoms at the beginning of my taper were horrendous BUT it is mind blowing how they changed!  There are so many symptoms that quite literally vanished the lower I got in my dose!  When I started my taper, for many months I dealt with 24/7 issues of anxiety, POTS symptoms, insomnia, heart palpitations, racing thoughts, dizziness, agoraphobia, numbness in legs, inability to drive, depression, fear, and shakiness!  This is not even a complete list.  I remember trying to sit in my home office back in those early days and I could not be at the computer for more than 10 minutes without getting insanely anxious and dizzy.  My heart rate would go up to 120 just sitting there!  It was awful and contributed to me 100% believing that all of my symptoms most certainly had to be more than withdrawal. How could a minor reduction of a drug produce so many physical and psychological issues? It was so scary!  For the first-year insomnia was so bad (every single night) that I would roam aimlessly around the house with a blanket trying to find a place to sleep that was comfortable. My nerves were so bad that I had lost a LOT of weight so every mattress felt like I was sleeping on a rock! And one of the worst symptoms was a constant, strong, pulsating heartbeat in the upper portion of my stomach that was so distracting because I felt it and saw it constantly. I was skin and bones at the time (89 lbs), so it showed right through.  In the quiet of the night, it would pulse so loud that I could hear it in my ears and feel it vibrating throughout my whole body.  It kept me up night after night, day after day. I cannot begin to tell you how many nights I simply wept.  At this point I was literally scared out of my mind!  Enter BARGAINING!  God, if I do this or that, will you take just one of these away?  I swear I will be better if just XYZ goes away!  I bargained everything.  I will be a better person for this.  I will forgive.  I will…. Anything!  It didn’t work.  Nothing did.

 

4.) Almost every one of the symptoms of withdrawal that I listed above DISAPPEARED once I got to 2.0 mgs!  My pulse now hangs out in the 60's when I am sitting around the house.  It stays in a healthy range while cooking or doing things around the house.  The pulse in my stomach happens barely once per month! My sleep is still "off”, but I sleep at least 6 hours (sometimes 7) several times per week.  Everything changed!  And it took me reading others posts, and then reviewing some of my notes from early on in my taper to realize that for as much as I am struggling with the new symptoms, I was MUCH worse back then.

 

5.) The hold and the DEPRESSION.  I continued to cut even when I became 100% unable to function.  That adage of “listen to your body” was apparently lost on me.  I was in a race to the finish line without realizing what it was doing to my body!  I’m not going to address all the symptoms here because I don’t want them to be your trigger.  As we all know et nauseum “everybody is different”.  I’ll leave it at that.  But depression took over with a vengeance!  I had to updose to 1 mg. and I felt like an utter failure.  I had gotten all the way down to around .575 and I looked at those few months that it took to get there as a waste!  How could I quit when I had come so far?  How much longer was this going to take?  How many more years of my life was I going to lose?  I can’t begin to explain the shame!  All my “Buddies” on here and my friends and family were so proud of me…. Was I letting them all down as well?  I was overwhelmed with self-pity and loathing.  Depression hit like a ton of bricks!  It was always there, even on days when I felt physically better. I had never really been "depressed" in my entire life.  But now, through every smile, laugh, holiday, times out among the living again, and quiet moments, I was constantly fighting the depression and disappointment in myself that was always right at the surface all because of an updose!  Until I said, “Enough!”

 

6.)  ACCEPTANCE is a tricky one for those of us in withdrawal!  It’s a different kind of acceptance.  It’s not peaceful.  It’s not calming.  It doesn’t feel great.  Acceptance in withdrawal is the strength to accept that though this will not be easy, we’re going to push forward anyway!  And to accept that for now, it’s the best we can do.  This is where I am today. If I can get here, you can too!

 

Accepting that we're going to have bad days isn't fun but it's necessary to keep moving forward.    Don't get me wrong, it sucks.  Period.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  It's truly criminal that we must endure this... but speaking for myself, I spent far too much time feeling sorry for myself that I'm in this situation and in the end, it didn’t do me any favors.  However, EVERY SINGLE feeling we have is VALID. Sometimes we must go through each of them, feel their intensity by experiencing them fully in order to get past them.  So, take a moment to wallow in them without guilt or shame, as long as you make a plan to free yourself from their grips!

 

So here I am, finally tackling this last milligram, 3 years into a lengthy taper, and hoping that my journey thus far can help someone else who is feeling despair.  We WILL get through this!  I’m prepared for some crappy days ahead.  I certainly don’t welcome them, but I’m far better equipped now than I was in the early stages of my taper.  Trust me… I’m painfully aware that the fear, anger and depression can rear their collective ugly heads again at any time.  I’ll deal with them when and if I must.  But for now, let us try our best to forge ahead to that new benzo free life that awaits each of us.  We are a strong bunch! We did not ask for this journey, but thankfully we have each other so we don’t have to walk it alone!

 

Love,

Lori

 

[[St...]]

Lori,

 

This is an incredible post! You give me courage to keep going though the symptoms both mental and physical do suck eggs. I too was working as a Masters degreed health care professional and feel the embarrassment that is my ego based problem. How did I let this happen when I should’ve researched, etc. instead of relying on a quick fix! (In the form of a pill.)

 

Questions:

Do you simply cut and hold? Are you using a scale? How are you functioning day to day? As you taper. Do you feel your body accepts the cuts as you go? How do you distract?

 

I also don’t get the listen to your body thing when all mine says is more more! Holding isn’t effective for me in that sense. Body refuses to “stabilize”.

 

Thanks for a gutsy post. Sounds like you’ll make it for sure, you have what it takes! I’m going to read your post several times again for courage.

 

Storm S

 

[[Ba...]]

Yes, it was mirtazapine that threw me into a CT acute state.  I was only on mirtazapine 6 weeks at a low dose. 

Stupidly, I continued my clonopin taper. 

I guess I am a glutton for suffering.  I am wondering why on earth I did this.

 

I have lyrica here, and find it gives me some relief and helps with sleep.  However, I am thinking it is like a benzo... the way it acts and feels to me.

[[St...]]

Barb,

 

How are you doing now?

 

Storm S

[[Ba...]]

Not good, thx for asking.

 

You know, seems everyone who has come off came off because they couldn't get rx'ed or else they took it felt horrible on it.

 

Wonder if you have been on decades if it is better to stay on and give your body some stability, like what it was used to??

 

How are you?

[[St...]]

Barbara,

 

What are your symptoms now? Hoping they are tolerable and you can sleep and function somewhat.

 

My husband had a serious heart attack last Sunday and I have to be functional so stopped tapering for now but not really stable either.

 

I just don’t feel I can ask him to take care of me as I go further into withdrawal. I have so much interdose withdrawal now that I usually only have a few relatively decent hours per day. I am highly glued to this drug. Very dependent on it which I only recognized this year! I feel my receptors just finally burned out! So can they be regenerated? I’m guessing not while on the Mirtazapine but I’m terrible with no sleep. Can’t fathom days at a time as sleeping every other night this past summer sent me over the edge mentally. My brain has stopped being able to sleep or nap without meds which is scary. Audiobooks used to put me out with my .25 K but no more and that was only last year.

 

Really questioning the decision to go on Mirtazapine as I tried to lower it a few nights and got bad pins and needles. It only makes me sleep when I take with my nightly dose of Clonazepam so is not a long term solution.

 

Life is difficult!

 

Not sure what to think about medication for the future as I am already feeling intense symptoms and know they will get much worse as I keep going but the other alternative to keep going up on K and it doesn’t help me sleep anymore either just keeps me sort of stable for a few hours and sometimes less as time goes on.

 

I’m having to drive again and that is nerve wracking. We got our second COVID shot on Wednesday and I had ramp up in symptoms yesterday and weird brain zaps during the night after with headache but feel better today. We should sell our country home but husband and I aren’t going there yet. Snow and cold nearly killed him this year. We are not young. I’m 69 and he is 73.

 

The future looks very uncertain. And I feel I have serious underlying mental health issues or is it only the drug effects and fear from that and the horrible symptoms that come and go out of the blue. So you’re driving and you get heart palps and all your core muscles freeze up and things like that, would drive anyone nuts!

 

Keep me informed on how you’re doing please. And I hope you see some windows and find hope. You certainly have shown much courage! You deserve to feel better and go on with your life drug free soon!

 

Storm S

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Lori,

 

This is an incredible post! You give me courage to keep going though the symptoms both mental and physical do suck eggs. I too was working as a Masters degreed health care professional and feel the embarrassment that is my ego based problem. How did I let this happen when I should’ve researched, etc. instead of relying on a quick fix! (In the form of a pill.)

 

Questions:

Do you simply cut and hold? Are you using a scale? How are you functioning day to day? As you taper. Do you feel your body accepts the cuts as you go? How do you distract?

 

As far as my body accepting the cuts?  It never does or did.  I'm of the belief that when you've been on these so long and had already been dealing with interdose withdrawl and tolerance, you're body will feel every cut.  To make things worse, Xanax is the shortest acting benzo of all of them so it doesn't stay in your system in any type of therapeudic way for very long.  Cut and hold was the only option for me.  I attempted a crossover to Valium early on in my taper and I had a parodoxical reaction to it.  I was deflated and put my taper on hold for a year because of it.  At that time I had only researched Ashton and didn't think a direct taper from Xanax was possible.  But, here I am, 3 years later, still at it.

 

I also don’t get the listen to your body thing when all mine says is more more! Holding isn’t effective for me in that sense. Body refuses to “stabilize”.

 

Often it's not about stabilizing but being as functional as possible or not being in severe withdrawl.  It's unforunate but most on here are simply NOT going to have a symptom free taper.  If they were, they wouldn't be on here.  It's tough to say this but you simply have to make peace with being uncomforable.  But the degree of that can be tolerable if you go slow.  Listening to your body simply means that if symptoms get too bad, you need to slow down.

 

Thanks for a gutsy post. Sounds like you’ll make it for sure, you have what it takes! I’m going to read your post several times again for courage.

I appreciate your words of encouragement!  I hope that your taper is far easier and shorter in duration than mine!  Wishing you the very best!

 

Storm S

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Li...]]

Hi, I’m Lilywhite

I’m in such a fragile state and barely able to even post but want to ask you questions and get opinions from the moderators as well

I just got out of a psychiatric hospital after trying to do a taper off 2 mg Ativan. I had a meltdown from tapering too fast. My psychiatrist refusing to help me on taper or adjusting meds at all. I was taking 2mg of Ativan, 200mgs of Zoloft and 400 mags of Gabapentin before starting taper. I knew that going into hospital that they are ignorant of how benzodiazepines really work and oh if only I would have not gone there and soldiered through the taper how much better off I would be.

Once there, I thought they would stabilize me, reinstate me on the correct dosage of benzodiazepines as I had been there before and that is what they did , not realizing that they were going to rip me off all benzos, change me from Zoloft to Mirtazapine and increase the Gabapentin to 1200 mags. This was done in the span of a week.

I was having nightmares in the hospital, told them and was totally ignored, why should I be surprised, I came home with a gaping hole in my CNS and was such a nightmare in and of itself that I started dosing on Klonopin that my PC  had given me right before landing in the hospital. I reinstated on .0125mg to stop WD the hospital put me in by ripping me off of the Ativan. Klonopin because of the half life to stop the inter dose withdrawal. It has helped, I stopped taking the Gabapentin except for 400mg and 15mg of Mirtazapine. The nightmares I experienced since I’ve came home are so bad I could hardly tolerate them so I started eliminating the Gabapentin first to see if it were the source since I had only been on the high dose for less than a week. I was only sleeping 3 hrs at most between nightmares. The nightmares have stopped, my Cold turkey WD is manageable since getting back on Klonopin but I feel as though the Mirtazapine is causing what I’m experiencing now. When I woke up this morning I feel different. I think it’s akanastia, I know I misspelled it. I’m moving and can control it to a certain point and other things.

My question is : since I’ve only been on it less than a week do you or the moderators think I could start Zoloft again and if so how do I ease back int it? Or ..... is this Seritonin  syndrome  ? Messing with seritonin is so scary too. I’m so afraid of everything, my CNS has heightened everything, my sight, hearing, smell. I’m such a mess.

 

And.... I go back to psychiatrist on Wednesday him not knowing I started using the Klonopin my PCP prescribed. He was informed by the hospital not to give me benzodiazepines again as he was giving me Ativan so I only have enough Klonopin for a month. He knows what meds I was sent home on and if I go back in on Zoloft he will accuse me of practicing medicine without a license like he has before when I told him about my taper. He will tell me to go to ER because it’s a medical emergency and guess where they will take me? Please help me. It’s hard for me to navigate the forum. I’m 67, on benzos for 40 yrs. Xanax 36 yrs, Klonopin little over 2 years and Ativan little over 2 yrs. I feel very, very sedated

 

 

[[St...]]

Hi, I’m Lilywhite

I’m in such a fragile state and barely able to even post but want to ask you questions and get opinions from the moderators as well

I just got out of a psychiatric hospital after trying to do a taper off 2 mg Ativan. I had a meltdown from tapering too fast. My psychiatrist refusing to help me on taper or adjusting meds at all. I was taking 2mg of Ativan, 200mgs of Zoloft and 400 mags of Gabapentin before starting taper. I knew that going into hospital that they are ignorant of how benzodiazepines really work and oh if only I would have not gone there and soldiered through the taper how much better off I would be.

Once there, I thought they would stabilize me, reinstate me on the correct dosage of benzodiazepines as I had been there before and that is what they did , not realizing that they were going to rip me off all benzos, change me from Zoloft to Mirtazapine and increase the Gabapentin to 1200 mags. This was done in the span of a week.

I was having nightmares in the hospital, told them and was totally ignored, why should I be surprised, I came home with a gaping hole in my CNS and was such a nightmare in and of itself that I started dosing on Klonopin that my PC  had given me right before landing in the hospital. I reinstated on .0125mg to stop WD the hospital put me in by ripping me off of the Ativan. Klonopin because of the half life to stop the inter dose withdrawal. It has helped, I stopped taking the Gabapentin except for 400mg and 15mg of Mirtazapine. The nightmares I experienced since I’ve came home are so bad I could hardly tolerate them so I started eliminating the Gabapentin first to see if it were the source since I had only been on the high dose for less than a week. I was only sleeping 3 hrs at most between nightmares. The nightmares have stopped, my Cold turkey WD is manageable since getting back on Klonopin but I feel as though the Mirtazapine is causing what I’m experiencing now. When I woke up this morning I feel different. I think it’s akanastia, I know I misspelled it. I’m moving and can control it to a certain point and other things.

My question is : since I’ve only been on it less than a week do you or the moderators think I could start Zoloft again and if so how do I ease back int it? Or ..... is this Seritonin  syndrome  ? Messing with seritonin is so scary too. I’m so afraid of everything, my CNS has heightened everything, my sight, hearing, smell. I’m such a mess.

 

And.... I go back to psychiatrist on Wednesday him not knowing I started using the Klonopin my PCP prescribed. He was informed by the hospital not to give me benzodiazepines again as he was giving me Ativan so I only have enough Klonopin for a month. He knows what meds I was sent home on and if I go back in on Zoloft he will accuse me of practicing medicine without a license like he has before when I told him about my taper. He will tell me to go to ER because it’s a medical emergency and guess where they will take me? Please help me. It’s hard for me to navigate the forum. I’m 67, on benzos for 40 yrs. Xanax 36 yrs, Klonopin little over 2 years and Ativan little over 2 yrs. I feel very, very sedated

 

Lily,

 

What is the update from your appointment with your psychiatrist?

 

Hope I did this right this time. Concerned for you.

 

Storm S

[[Go...]]

Hi I'm Lori. I have been on name brand Ativan for sleep since about 1985. 36 years. I am 64 years old. Wanted to say hello. I started my taper off of .5 Ativan exactly one year ago. Currently I am at half my dose by using the weighing and filing. Nice to have a group of long term users. I NEVER knew about this drug. My prescribing dr for this whole time is retiring this year. I am using Medical Marijuana for sleep, but nothing else. Anyone else been on Ativan this long?

[[to...]]

following

[[Ba...]]

Hi there.

No, no input on Ativan, sorry.

 

Got off valium a month or so ago.  Still on Ambien.

Think am seeing the windows and waves thing now... it is so hard.  But there are times, briefly, I feel normal.  I think.  Assuming I remember what 'normal' was/is for me.

 

Considering getting covid vaccine this week... just don' tknow.  I don't see hardly anyone at all, so not much risk.  But the thought of getting Covid is so frightening.

 

I have so much fatigue, vibrating, bad sleep now, don't want the vaccine to make things worse.

 

 

[[St...]]

I got both vaccines and my CNS is a mess but didn’t notice too much difference in symptoms which are pretty bad right now anyhow.

 

Barbara,  I agree the Mirtazapine is bad and makes the K symptoms far worse BUT now what?

 

It gets me to sleep with K at night but has SO many side effects I’m thinking I should taper it now or while tapering K. I feel insane on it.

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi there.

No, no input on Ativan, sorry.

 

Got off valium a month or so ago.  Still on Ambien.

Think am seeing the windows and waves thing now... it is so hard.  But there are times, briefly, I feel normal.  I think.  Assuming I remember what 'normal' was/is for me.

 

Considering getting covid vaccine this week... just don' tknow.  I don't see hardly anyone at all, so not much risk.  But the thought of getting Covid is so frightening.

 

I have so much fatigue, vibrating, bad sleep now, don't want the vaccine to make things worse.

 

I hope you can get off the Ambien soon, it's likely causing some of your symptoms, it did for me.

[[Ba...]]

I got both vaccines and my CNS is a mess but didn’t notice too much difference in symptoms which are pretty bad right now anyhow.

 

Barbara,  I agree the Mirtazapine is bad and makes the K symptoms far worse BUT now what?

 

It gets me to sleep with K at night but has SO many side effects I’m thinking I should taper it now or while tapering K. I feel insane on it.

 

So, you are a mess and the vac didn't do much?  Well, guess that is good news!    Thx for mentiong that.

 

I don't know... I was only on it 6 weeks at a low dose.  Made me feel awful so I stopped...  was really in acute-- that was 4 years ago.  It totally destabilized me.  But since you're on it and stable... not sure what to say. 

At least you are sleeping, that is something!!

[[Ba...]]

Hi there.

No, no input on Ativan, sorry.

 

Got off valium a month or so ago.  Still on Ambien.

Think am seeing the windows and waves thing now... it is so hard.  But there are times, briefly, I feel normal.  I think.  Assuming I remember what 'normal' was/is for me.

 

Considering getting covid vaccine this week... just don' tknow.  I don't see hardly anyone at all, so not much risk.  But the thought of getting Covid is so frightening.

 

I have so much fatigue, vibrating, bad sleep now, don't want the vaccine to make things worse.

 

I hope you can get off the Ambien soon, it's likely causing some of your symptoms, it did for me.

 

I don't know about that.  And I'm afraid to rock the boat more than I have.

 

Pamster, what did you do for sleep?    And how old were you, approx, at the time?  thx