i feel like im losing this battle

[[Pi...]]

nothing distracts me anymore, ive gotten fat, slow, introverted, insecure.. i feel like this benzo wd took all i ever had from myself.. not talking about college, my job, friends, girls, even family.. how could such a small pill make so much damage?

 

is it possible that im still in WD after ONE ENTIRE YEAR without using ONE SINGLE benzo? and still feeling LIKE SH** after this entire year??

 

or am i mentally diseased/ got brain damage/ something permanent?

[[it...]]

Yes you are still in WD! 6-18 months is the healing time. Some may take more by usually most completely heal by 2 years. When you start noticing big improvements it'd usually accerated healing that will come in these later months and start getting rid of what your feeling very rapidly sometimes one by one. I've seen a lot say this. Everything will lift and accelerate be patient your still in the normal time frame your right in the middle.

[[Sa...]]

I coming up on a year in October and i still and not even close. So dont worry about it. It will go away. We arent an exception to what everyone else says will happen. Just keep chugging.

[[Ra...]]

You cannot blame everything on benzo w/d. It may be that you have unresolved issues... How is your diet? Exercise? Attitude? Upbringing? There are many variables. You may be experiencing withdrawals still sure, but... I doubt ALL of your problems are benzo w/d.

[[Sa...]]

Mine definitely are. So you can take that, idea elsewhere. I never had issues prior to any of these pills. And was put on them by a dr, whom misdiagnosed me after a physical. Ive seen multiple specialists and they said all my sxs have no root cause other than the benzos. Mri's, Xrays, bloodwork. All say I should be having no issues at all. So what else could it be? If you have some ideas by all means share. My diet is pretty decent. Mostly home cooked proteins and veggies, no stimulants. I exercise when my muscles arent spasming amd my lungs feel as though they wanna work and my balance and head tension do wanna be flared up..... So tell me how thats all possible, please.

[[Sa...]]

You cannot blame everything on benzo w/d. It may be that you have unresolved issues... How is your diet? Exercise? Attitude? Upbringing? There are many variables. You may be experiencing withdrawals still sure, but... I doubt ALL of your problems are benzo w/d.

.....

[[Te...]]

You're going to make it, PK - that's all there is to it. Just keep walking forward, and at some point you'll see accelerated healing taking place. I'm so happy that you haven't had any benzos since stopping and that you've been fighting all along. You're going to turn that corner and start feeling better. Hang in there!! 

[[Ra...]]

I'm just trying to help sal... I can understand your pain I have had days where I have prayed for death, but good diet, exercise and sunlight have helped.

[[Ma...]]

Wow Pity! Going from 8mg to 0! I get that you're not feeling it, but looks to me like YOU ROCK!

[[Sa...]]

I do all of that. And i cant even drive my car more than 2 miles from home and im 26. And to know that after 7mnths or so taking a little pill can take me from and athletic musician to a hobbled hermit is very disheartening. Especially when there are no real windows for some of us and exercise and things like that are a far fetched idea. Sorry if i came off raw and irritable but ive been in a 5 week wave after feeling almost 60percent better in month 8-9. And lost a lot of my positivity. :/

[[it...]]

Terry is right. I also semi agree with what earthy has to say that possibly not everything is related to benzo WD. Some thing can be unresolved issues in life coping skills,housebound depression,anxiety ect that can be worked at or integrated into transitioning I have had a lot of healing lately being more manage at 8 months the days are going by more normally ect..I've worked at all of these things the whole time cognitive, CBT ,balance  walking,exercise, problem solving, and the biggest thing Jeeping a positive attitude pushing for more healing and recently things let up a chance for a better in the withdrawal I can now ride it out! I'm pry 60 to seventy percent at my baseline and more in even brighter windows! But I still have things going on its a lot more easier and life's coming back. But in your case it may be just the benzos as it can be fierce for some people and debilitating far out so I don't knock you buddy. Its not something u can snap out of. Your doing good hang in there for accelerated healing. Ashton states a positive attitude and striving can accelerate healing and Horten the WD heal quicker and by god I'll be dange it just happend to me by month 8.

[[Ca...]]

Ummm... Have y'all read the countless stories of people who were housebound, couldn't tolerate heat or light.. Felt like they were dying.. Breathing issues, chest pain.. The whole 9 yards... Then after 12 months or 24 months, etc they were all better & were fine in social settings, no longer having mysterious symptoms, etc. Pretty sure if it wasn't an issue before the benzo's then we can all pretty much agree it's prob the benzo's. I was misdiagnosed & on lorazepam for 2 months as needed. Up until then I had never even taken an antibiotic ... My doctor couldn't find anything wrong w/ me & said I must just be having panic attacks... Turns out it was a tooth infection & once I got that tooth fixed I was fine... Then a few weeks later I stopped the lorazepam & all hell broke loose. Most people here were fine until quitting the pills.

[[Ca...]]

& I'm w/ ya sal.. I was feeling 70-75% healed for many weeks.. I've now been in a wave since end of July... It may of even been triggered by the fact that I had started exercising again.. Then hit w/ severe fatigue & early symptoms I havnt had since month 2,3 & 4 returning. I can't imagine not having any windows... But I know many here havnt had windows to go on & make a full recovery hang in there.

[[lo...]]

You cannot blame everything on benzo w/d. It may be that you have unresolved issues... How is your diet? Exercise? Attitude? Upbringing? There are many variables. You may be experiencing withdrawals still sure, but... I doubt ALL of your problems are benzo w/d.

 

SORRY FOLKS. DID NOT MEAN TO POST THIS.  >

[[Sa...]]

Guess theyre just all in our heads. We should just, suck it up and get on with life..... 

[[lo...]]

nothing distracts me anymore, ive gotten fat, slow, introverted, insecure.. i feel like this benzo wd took all i ever had from myself.. not talking about college, my job, friends, girls, even family.. how could such a small pill make so much damage?

is it possible that im still in WD after ONE ENTIRE YEAR without using ONE SINGLE benzo? and still feeling LIKE SH** after this entire year??

or am i mentally diseased/ got brain damage/ something permanent? [

Hi PK

We have chatted quite a bit. You did not mention that you have just had a window and managed to go out with friends. I know you did not feel very good but it still means you are on the right path. if that window has passed you will feel worse, I usually do.

 

Most of your current issues are down to withdrawal I am sure. You may have difficulties which were there before starting on K but you can learn new strategies to deal wih them.

 

You are not brain damaged and you know that one year is not unusual in benzo withdrawal.

 

You are articulate, brave, sensible most of the time,  and are coping extremely well with this awful ordeal.  Your mum does not understand and yet you persevere despite that.  I think you should be very proud of yourself.

 

You will lose the weight you have put on, the insecurity will diminish, your energy levels will come back and you will lead a normal life again..

 

I have just had the worst two days for a very, very long time. I felt like I was dying.  I felt like I would be glad to die. It has now all gone, just like magic. I shall never understand this mad journey. 

 

Keep strong, be brave

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Sa...]]

Lookingforward! Thanks for the good words. Not just for PK. But thay, helps all of us out. Thank you genuinely.

[[je...]]

Pity, I'm almost 1 year off and I'm feeling very discouraged as well. I never would have thought when I started this journey that I'd still be dealing with w/d 1 year later. All I can say is what choice do we have but to keep moving forward and hope that this will all be over soon. 

[[lo...]]

Lookingforward! Thanks for the good words. Not just for PK. But thay, helps all of us out. Thank you genuinely.

[/quote

 

Thank you.

 

What did I say? 

 

Hugs to all you brave Buddies

 

LF 

[[Sa...]]

Haha all those reassuring goodies for PK.

[[lo...]]

I do all of that. And i cant even drive my car more than 2 miles from home and im 26. And to know that after 7mnths or so taking a little pill can take me from and athletic musician to a hobbled hermit is very disheartening. Especially when there are no real windows for some of us and exercise and things like that are a far fetched idea. Sorry if i came off raw and irritable but ive been in a 5 week wave after feeling almost 60percent better in month 8-9. And lost a lot of my positivity. :/

 

Sorry to hear you are in a bad place right now. Try to hang onto the fact that you did feel almost 60% better. It will come round again and it may even be 70% or higher.

 

LF 

[[lo...]]

Haha all those reassuring goodies for PK.

 

Hi Sal

 

It is true, you know. There is so much bravery on this forum but because we feel weak, often defeated, we tend to put ourselves down but the truth is very different. Psychological problems like depression and anxiety tend to be seen as indications of weakness. Unlike physical illness, we start to question our personalities, think we may be deficient in some way.  The truth is thst life is so much harder if you do suffer from these conditions and it takes huge courage to cope and carry on. Depression and anxiety are not signs of weakness. I should know. 40 years of fighting depression and now depression free after coming off nitrazepam. I wasn't weak at all. I just took a pill for epilepsy.  :tickedoff:

 

We need to compliment each other more often but we understandably focus on our symptoms a lot.

 

Hugs to all

 

LF 

 

 

[[it...]]

I'd like to rephrase my statement of feeling better..just temporarily I guess more bearable.. I'm sure down the line I'll have more stuff tossed into the mic to make me feel hopeless again..its all non linear . so I know not to get my hopes us this early on the head crap is really bothering me right now and sinuses but um surviving ok. Didn't mean to count the chickens before they hatched l. This game is brutal.

[[Pi...]]

I never had anxiety, never had depression, never had panic attavks, or any of these symptoms prior to benzo wd. But all doctors i see say benzo wd doesnt exost and that i developed these symptoms, just like someone develops schizophrenia. Only 1 doc i went to said i had wd, but is from ny, and i was there on vacations.

 

I feel like dying bc this is so lonely and hopeless. Time doesnt pass and nothing distracts me. I wonder how you guys make the time pass?

 

[[Sa...]]

People dont just, develop schizophrenia lol thats a real issue from almost birth. Its withdrawal because all of us have such eerily similar and like sxs. Its not us. Well not all of us and not this severe. Some folks do have their own demons and issues prior to use but the benzo just amplify all of it times a trillion. :/