Clonazepam User in Withdrawal Process

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The things you describe seem to be common w/d s/x - especially the lethargy.  The brain fog is probably the most common - I'm glad to say my fog lifted slowly as I came down in dose and has gone now.  Still have a few issues with my eyes in some bright light but they too are getting better. 

 

Keep up the positive attitude - that's a big part of the battle.  I'm sure the symptoms you have now will go away with time, just wish I could tell you when.

[[le...]]

Thanks LB for your continued reassurance.

 

One of the things I personally continue to struggle with is the notion this drug cannot possibly cause all these withdrawal effects, i.e. there must be something else wrong.  Last night was the first time I've admittedly had nightmares for as long as I can remember.  I watched a sci-fi film and somehow it was on my sub-conscience all night.  My mind was drawing parallels between instances in the movie and personal issues during the withdrawal process.  It gave me real bad nausea which is lasting even as I type this morning.  The thought crosses whether the cold is compounding the effects of discontinuance?  I get these other issues like jittery motion, cotton-mouth, light-headed, headaches, earaches, problems speaking and maintaining conversation, only to find myself starting to find other possibilities for these symptoms.  Then I try to come full circle with it and dismiss all as part of the withdrawal process.  I say to myself "this can't be happening to me, no way",  yet it's all about trying to come to grips with it.  I knows its only 2 1/2 weeks off but so much has happened.  I don't get much of a break from this, its like give and take.  I get my sleep back but the other symptoms exacerbate or come back.  I know this was not a one-way ticket, meaning there was going to be some back and forth before things start to calm down.  Probably the most discouraging reality is there is no way to predict what will occur and when because the range of issues are so common yet each person is affected so differently.

 

Pardon me for my redundancy, perhaps I am venting or speaking publicly too much. 

 

I am impatient in waiting for all this to end and the family was hoping yesterday.

 

legend

[[Pa...]]

Hi Legend,

 

Your descriptions are remarkably accurate and take me back to the days when I felt everything you're feeling.  The physical issues, the inner trembling and teeth chatter were horrible, it was like I could never relax.  The fear that it was more than withdrawal symptoms was in my mind too.  But all of what you're describing is absolutely benzo withdrawal and it will end when you're healed.  No the healing is not linear, it comes and goes and makes us miserable at the worst possbile times but it will all be gone one day.

 

Pam

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Legend - what you described was probably me at the end of 2008 and into early 2009.  The feeling that this couldn't be happening to me, these feelings can't possibly all be withdrawal - all too familiar.

 

We all know how erratic this process is - just take it day by day and keep reminding yourself it will get better.

 

Vent away - that's what BB is here for.

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legend,

Acoms Razor?  The simplest explanation tends to be the correct one.”

 

We all have individual issues, but most likely what you are experiencing is w/d.

It is so like benzo withdrawal to make us question the source of our symptoms again and again.

 

Staying in close touch with your doctors is a good idea, and you have had a number of tests conducted

previously which seemingly have not alleviated your concerns to a large degree.

 

I know everyone here is pulling for you to get thru this because every success story is an inspiration to other BB's.

 

I hope you can continue to cope with these issues as they gradually subside, and hopefully you can also get the support you need

from your family at home and your extended family at BB.

-Your BB friend,

David

[[le...]]

Thankfully you have all lent me a lifeline.  The replies here really are the greatest prescription for benzo dependency    I am glad  I found this place.

 

I am battling a sinus/cold condition right now, no other explanation for it, my cheeks and head feel stiff and numb and I believe are compounding the withdrawal effects.  I can pop my ears.  The internal shaking/teeth chatter is so amplified its starting to show up in my fine motor movements as herky jerky motion.  This is worse than when I was on the benzos the last several weeks.  And just a few days ago, I was having no symptoms for the first time in months.  Again, go figure.

 

This weekend my mind was being tortured as if everything became unglued at the seams.  I still am feeling a bit depressed and downright lazy.  Every time I try to do some activity my body aches and head hurts. I just sat around and did practically nothing, which is probably not the healthiest thing for this situation. Wife is at her wits end and believes I am manufacturing this again.  I had to force myself more than ever to get my ass to work today.

 

David--I am fed up with docs so much that I have developed a phobia.  I have tried my best to convince myself there is nothing else wrong and reduced those feelings to a great degree the past couple of months, but they are starting to creep back and of course, this results in another crusade for answers.  I am exhausted from this approach, however, and will put my guns down this time. I do have a doctor whom I trust (she actually listens) and is my go-to person if things really get out of hand.  But you are right--my concerns have not entirely dissipated and am so trying desperately to hold on to the simplest explanations for now. 

 

Thank you LB and Pam for again sharing your experiences.  They continue to help to me understand what's happening and really influence the correct way to go through this process.  No doctor is going to provide this kind of advice IMO.

 

You do not get a break when in withdrawal, or similar illness, I guess.  It cannot be stated enough the pressure seems more forced upon you when you have a family to please, a job requiring you to remain sharp and productive, and financial issues to address--all when you are trying to recover.  It's a daunting task because life does not stop for all of us.  I believe this is making it more difficult for me to recover quickly as everything here is with a short leash.

 

 

 

 

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It will be tougher for you with people depending on you whilst going through w/d - I doubt anyone will deny that.  But many here do it.  Life does not stop and by keeping yourself in the world you are doing yourself an enormous favour - distraction.  Some people (I include myself in this in the early stages of my taper) lock themselves away and just lie about thinking how miserable they are.  That's an easy trap to get into, but one which should be fought every step of the way.  It's truly hard, but it can be done.  Staying positive is so vital on this journey.

 

I know it's hard for those around us to truly understand - don't know if I suggested this to you before but would your wife be willing to do some research of her own or maybe go to the dr with you next time.  Benzo.org.uk is the site which most of us would say is the benzo bible - contains great information.

 

I've developed "white coat" syndrome and I truly do not have much faith in the medical profession, but obviously they have to be trusted to some degree, we can't do without them.  With regard to benzos though I know I would have had more support here during my taper than from my own GP.

[[so...]]

Legend your right there, life can be a tough pill to swallow    when dealing with Benzo wd's.  I know how it took me out at work, Luckily I had a very supportive wife going thru the process, and now I'm ok.... She kids  saying she never thought she would want the old me back till she saw the new me on benzo's.  Now she has the new old me, and I'm the better man for having gone thru this maze, cause now I know just how important my health is, along with my sanity..

st

[[le...]]

This AM is the worst day I can remember in a long time.  The insomnia has returned  ( I slept maybe 1 hr last night) as well compounding with the others that have come back the last couple of days.  I found myself snoring with my eyes open for a short time.  I was still awake.  In addition, I feel horribly nauseous with some dry heaving and borderline panicky with fears of blacking out.  I have a ring of pressure around my head.  I am terribly exhausted but cannot get to sleep.  My anxiety is totally ramped up.  I am shaking like a leaf. The headaches have worsened. My left pupil is larger than my right at times.  What is happening??

[[Pa...]]

Hi Legend,

 

Everything sounds like withdrawals, it's common to feel worse, then better and then worse again as you heal.  The pupil thing sounds weird, but the fact that it comes and goes tells me it's probably withdrawal related to.  Please don't be discouraged, the healing isn't linear, you take two steps back and one forward sometimes. 

 

Hold on and know that you're healing, this is normal for someone who is recently off of benzo's.

 

Pam

[[le...]]

Did anyone ever see District 9?  I feel like I am mutating from some genetic transformation, if there was such a feeling benzo withdrawal would be a good analogy.  It's not linear either. 

 

I forgot to ask--have people here lost a lot of muscle tone that has gone to their belly?  That's me.

 

 

 

 

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All sounds like normal benzo w/d to me.  Sorry your insomnia has returned, I sometimes felt that if only I could get a good night's sleep everything else would be easier to cope with.  Your sleep will return, mine has (mostly).

 

Can't advise about the muscle tone - mine was probably crap to start with!  Did lose a lot of weight though, that was the one positive thing about being of clonazepam for me cos I needed to.  Just have to make sure I don't put it back on though now that food is more attractive again.

 

This really is an up and down process, try not to panic yourself, benzo w/d can be tough at times.  Hope you get a window of relief soon.

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legend,

Is your neck injury keeping you from exercising?  Just about anyone out of their 20's won't keep tone without it.

I'm not sure what to recommend that would avoid aggravating the neck, since in one way or another, it gets involved.

 

I've got some neck problems myself, and everytime I do anything like manual labor, it lets me know I shouldn't have.

I worked on my vehicle this past weekend, and as a result, I had a heating pad on my neck all that night.

It's discouraging, but I do try and do some light exercise daily anyway.

 

To your speedy recovery and a Happy New Year!

-David

[[le...]]

Is your neck injury keeping you from exercising?  Just about anyone out of their 20's won't keep tone without it.

 

My neck does not really feel that bad, I am probably more phobic about it than anything else. It mostly is stiff, usually it flares up via stress from not sleeping. The muscle tone loss is significant compared to 8 mos ago and I attribute that to doing absolutely nothing during this stretch from my benzo enhancement    

 

LB I too went through a period of not eating, lost about 15-20 lbs when this all started then slowly gained it back, all went to my stomach.  My appetite has been one constant for the most part.

 

With a day like today exercise seems far away...

 

The area above my ears is wound up like knots.  This for me comes with sleep deprivation.  I should be sleeping right now but am wide awake.

 

 

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Don't know if you can make it, rather than exercising full on at present, can you get yourself out to walk.  Great for the serotonin levels and also a great distraction.  Kmow its difficult when you feel like you need to sleep for a week, but it may also help with the insomnia.

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legend,

Did you ever try any magnesium supplements for insomnia or any other symptoms? 

 

I would like to find out if they actually can help (from actual users).

 

I came across a website that has a very lengthy discussion about the benefits of magnesium, as well as some other

supplements that have allegedly helped with symptoms much like those caused by w/d.

 

Note: The author was a benzo (klon) user previously, but it appears he has been able to withdraw successfully.

Also, it doesn't appear that there is much overtone of profitable motives in the discussion.

It should be noted that he is not a doctor, and describes himself as a "retired scientist-inventor".

 

One interesting thing is that he is very specific about the type of magnesium (mag glycinate + taurine) that should be used,

and mentions other types that should be avoided.

 

As I said, it is very lengthy with many, many links, but you might enjoy looking it over, and I'd like a 2nd opinion as to the content.

 

http://george-eby-research.com/html/depression-anxiety.html

 

-David

 

 

 

[[le...]]

Happy New Year All,

 

Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks off benzos and I have to say its been a trying time at best, although I do see some positive signs as well as downturns. 

 

Recently I went 5 days without sleep and finally had a good night 2 days ago.  Last night was disappointing.  It still remains my #1 issue.  I am more exhausted than I can remember.  I have problems focusing and my upper limbs, especially my left arm, feel heavy and weak.  I am just dead tired.

 

Other than above any other symptoms have once again subsided.  I have windows of internal shaky-free hours during the day, mostly in the afternoon.  I wake up with some teeth chatter and arm weakness but its not as intense as the last two weeks.

 

From my experience most supplements do not seem to effect me either way.  David asked about the Magnesium.  I was taking the cheleated type and stopped after reading the article.  I started taking the 400 mg Glycinate (non-cheleated) about 4 days ago but cannot say yet whether it is effective for sleep or anxiety. I am having trouble finding taurine. Methinks not, but I will increase to 800 mg or whenever I start to get diarrhea.  I am trying a homeopathic remedy of Arnica 200c, calc phos 6x, and kali phos 6x very soon.  We will see if this is really snake oil or not.

 

 

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legend,

Please keep me posted about any good/bad results with the mag gly.  The taurine is avail on many supplement websites.

It was recommended to take them at the same time.  Hopefully the mag gly will not affect

 

I started 2 days ago with the following:

7am and 4pm: 200mg mg gly and 500mg taurine. 

After I get some in my system, I may up the dosage, as has been recommended.

 

It seems to have made my evening slump (I take my benzo dose at bedtime) better so far, but it is really too soon to say.

I was told to evaluate it over several weeks to a month or more.

It has not seemed to help my sleep so far, but I will continue to see how it goes.

 

On another note:

Another poster (bill) mentioned using acupuncture (see link), and says it really made him feel much better, so I'm going to look into that.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=17038.0

 

-David

 

[[le...]]

I've been taking 400mg in the AM then another 400 in the eve.  So far no diarrhea but definite increase in frequency. 

Sleep is the real bugger.  It seems most of my symptoms have gone away but insomnia is still predominant.  I am so overtired I am in a semi-vegetative state during the daytime from drowsiness and deprivation. Work is severely affected.  I can feel my eyes being surrounded as if being squeezed.

 

My psych suggests a sleep study be done b/c he contends the benzos could not possibly be causing this symptoms for this long.  From what I u/s insomnia is the first thing to let up, but it seems the opposite for me, although I had windows of great sleep for a period of days.  Now Its been about 2 weeks since I've been privileged with it.  I am going to try the sleep deprivation restriction therapy angle.

 

I will look into the Taurine online. I've tried acupuncture but I am not sure if she was an expert with Insomnia. It somewhat helped with anxiety but at $65 a session it became too costly over 6 or 7 treatments.  It can definitely relax you.  You need to find someone well renowned with treating insomnia.  I will consider it again if I can find a referral.  My insurance will not cover it.

 

 

 

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My psych suggests a sleep study be done b/c he contends the benzos could not possibly be causing this symptoms for this long

And what planet does he come from?  When you read most of the posts here, insomnia is by far the most common withdrawal symptom and it can go on for many months after the last pill has been swallowed.  Good news is that it generally comes back eventually.

 

I know you long for a good night's sleep, we've all wanted that at some stage during withdrawal.  I hope you can find some relief soon.

[[le...]]

LB--

 

How long after you completed your taper did your sleep completely come back?

 

It's now been 35 days and it seems my sleeping pattern is worse than ever.  I can lay in bed 10 hours and maybe sleep 3-4.  Even then its not quality sleep.  I have been given verbal warning from work because my productivity has declined so much these past 2 mos and do not know my recourse.  They are fed up but I am at a loss to control what is happening.  MY fatigue level has increased while my energy level decreases, as well as this internal shaking/teeth chatter which affects my fine motor skills. I am extremely lethargic but wired.  The back of my throat gets tight at times.  The shaking is hardly noticeable when at rest.  It used to be more in the left arm but now I feel it on the right as well.  Both arms feel heavy and a bit stiff.  I also am shaky overnight, which never happened before.  Is this cause for concern or is it consistent with withdrawal even after 35 days from Clonazepam low dose (.25-.375 mg)? 

 

I can't help to keep thinking this is PD or something.  I am scaring myself again because I am confused about the symptoms and the direction I need to be going.

 

Against conventional wisdom to save my job I am considering going back on the evil medicine, at least that is the angle the dark side is taking to get me hooked once again.

 

 

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My sleep hasn't been too bad during this whole process.  I haven't had a full night's sleep for a long time but I usually get around 5-6 hours.  I still get interrupted sleep most nights (my iPod has become my new bedtime buddy).  I work from home so I'm able to sleep late some mornings to catch some extra zzzs.

Sorry to hear your sleep is doing your head in.  Maybe look at the anxiety thread and see if there are any relaxation techniques you could practice to help you out.  Remember they take time, so don't expect miracles overnight.  Keep working at them - from one who's been down the anxiety and fear route believe me they do work.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=58.0

The insomnia thread could be another stoppping off point - some great advice there.

Keep telling yourself that this is all benzo withdrawal - nothing else.  We've all believed this couldn't possibly only with w/d - I know now that it is.  Try not to stress too much about your job - your nervous system is already in overdrive through w/d and any added stress will be accentuating this.  Easy to say I know, but look at your thought patterns, try to turn them to the positive.

IMO reinstating might not give you the relief you are looking for.  Of course that's a decision you will have to make.  The benzo monster is a powerful beast and he's doing his best to win you back.

[[le...]]

I just don't get it.

 

The other symptoms have calmed down but the insomnia is increasing in severity.  4 days straight no sleep.

 

I don't know what to make of this:  Sitting on the couch last night with a pillow behind my head, I noticed a cool feeling dropping from the top of my head through my neck to my upper extremeties  lasting a few seconds.  I then noticed a feeling of relaxation and became very drowsy.  Unfortunately I had to get up for work so I do not know what would have happened.  However, at work I have a massive headache and am nauseous most likely from sleep deprivation.  Going on 40 days tomorrow, I am very worried about the lasting effects of insomnia. 

 

IS there no rhyme/reason to what symptoms leave first?  Like I said above, some here have indicated insomnia is one of the first to be relieved.

 

 

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There is no rhyme nor reason to any part of withdrawal.  Some people don't have insomnia problems - like me.  Sure I have some interrupted sleep patterns but nothing like others. 

 

It is a truly unpredictable process.  I hope your sleep returns soon but as is said here over and over - it will return with time.  Try not to stress about it - I know that's hard but keeping yourself calm and relaxed will be the best way to helping the insomnia.  The more you worry about it the worse it will be.

[[le...]]

I was able to get some quality sleep the last 2 nights, which is good.

 

One thing I have not experienced before now happening is weird head sensations.  Last night I had some dizziness on and off (everything moving from left- right or right-left) more standing than sitting and would go away once lying down.  There was also some tingling, tickling in my head.

 

This AM after about a couple of hours I was getting this tingling, tickling sensation all over my head again and I cannot decide if its massaging or itching.  These things came in stages after that-- tightness in face and upper head and forehead above ears, stuffy ears, tight back of tongue with teeth chatter/tremble and mild pressure in back of head.  Then I had some mild invisible vibrations/trembling throughout the body and hands. 

 

Right now it feels real tight above my ears all around like a band with some increasing/decreasing pressure.  My pulse dropped down to about 60 BPM (usually its about 65-70).  When I move my cheeks it feels like there is some resistance.  The back of my throat is similar, like some tightness in the area.

 

Let me guess-- it all sound like withdrawal?