Clonazepam User in Withdrawal Process

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Hi legend - well done for quitting the benzos. 

I had some speech issues early on in my taper words just wouldn't come out and I developed a minor stutter sometimes.  All good now though.

[[le...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I noticed many people here have been on benzos (and other meds) far longer than I and may need additional time to recover.  Everyone's situation is different, but if I can provide hope to anyone from my experiences it's a bonus to my own healing process.

 

It's been roughly 5 1/2 days since my last dosage, and all I can say is the patches are rough with sleep being the #1 culprit.  If it weren't for that I would feel pretty damn good.  Problem is sleep can affect each person negatively in so many different ways.  I was having sleep issues even before tapering completely but I attribute that to tolerance.

 

I have this low level of anxiety (teeth chatter along with some fear of not sleeping) affecting me during the eves.  The thoughts are too strongly focused on the fear of not sleeping rather than refocusing on something more calming in order to reduce the anxiety of it.  The shakiness appears to calm down at night.  I can feel so exhausted that I wonder if the body goes into overdrive just because I am so far behind in sleep.  Last night I started thinking about 'organic' causes for insomnia, such as hyperthyroidism, liver damage, tumors, kidney ailments, etc., since these are things that according to WebMD should be investigated before suggesting a psychosomatic cause.  Of course meds are included on this list and I have to eliminate it from the body before turning to other causes, but at what point does one do that?  When does one determine the benzos are not the cause of symptoms and it could be something else since many side effects are generic?  These are the questions going through my mind daily, even though I continue to stay the course.

[Guest [Ju...]]

It's been roughly 5 1/2 days since my last dosage, and all I can say is the patches are rough with sleep being the #1 culprit.  If it weren't for that I would feel pretty damn good.  Problem is sleep can affect each person negatively in so many different ways.  I was having sleep issues even before tapering completely but I attribute that to tolerance.

 

Congrats on being finished with your taper Sounds like everything you are feeling is normal to the post benzo period. As with the other symptoms and issues, over time, they will heal, how long, no one can say but knowing and accepting what they are will put you in a much better place.

 

Have you tried any body scan or deep belly breathing techniques to help you unwind? I find they help me immensely in many ways; to calm anxiety, help me relax even when I can not sleep. They also remind me of the proper way of breathing, from the diaghram, not lungs. I have a few CD's that I use:

 

Calm Down

Natural Tranquilizer's

Worry Stopper's

 

They are all progressive relaxation and deep breathing exercises and quite excellent, IMO. Hope some of this info helped.

 

Just Breathe

 

 

p.s. the CD's are from wholeperson.com

 

[[...]]

Legend,

No one appreciates good sleep until they can't seem to get it.

Since you had good sleep before the meds, I think it will return.

 

The meds have likley affected your thought patterns enough that both the lack of sleep, and obsessing about it

are amplifying the negative effect.  Most all of us either have previously, or are now, experiencing the same feelings as you.

 

Time is the great healer. Please try to be patient and focus on the positives in your life. 

You are already getting better, but just not completely well yet.

 

You still have a lot to be thankful for, and at about 40, you have plenty of time to get over this and move on to better days!

-Your friend,

  David

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Agree with the wwjd and JB re your symptoms in the evening and your sleep patterns.  We've all been through similar and eventually your sleep will return - if you slept well before benzos, you will again. 

 

I obsessed too much over "other" illnesses - self diagnosed a brain tumor, probable cancer, heart complaints etc. etc and now I realise that what I have is benzo w/d.  I had medical checks as well but in the end I understood that these drugs can mess with your body something shocking.  Take care with what you read - too much negative information can add to the anxiety.  Turn your thoughts around to the positive and accept you are in benzo w/d and move on to healing.

[[le...]]

LB/David/JB (as well as others not mentioned!)

 

Thank you again for your words of encouragement.

 

Perhaps I should not have dropped off completely, as others have suggested stopping from .25 can be considered c/t.  However, I am not so sure after 3 mos of continuous use at .75 then 3 mos taper to .25 is totally accurate.  Can you tell I am in a confused state of mind? 

 

Last night while driving home from work I had a very strange occurrence.  Headaches and pressure have been at a minimum for months, but I suddenly felt this pressure above each ear which started to make my head spin.  I was dizzy for about a min, then went away.  The pressure is still there even now, but its not as noticeable as last night.  It feels like a ball exists above each ear, yet there's no physical change.  Overall I am definitely more nervous and shaky.

 

I used some meditation and music techniques while in bed, seems to have helped calm me somewhat.  I literally passed out and awakened several times during the eve, not realizing I lost consciousness.  I also used Valerian root, it's not the first time.  It also seems to help me relax but the results are not always consistent.

 

I am thinking about using Magnesium supplements (Chelated Glycinate) as well during withdrawal, as I have read it helps to relax the muscles and nervous system. 

 

Individual results may vary?

 

I know taking supplements is debatable while in withdrawal, but I guess its judgmental when one has to make a choice between their job or endure sleep deprivation.  Ultimately the need for sleep rules.

 

Either I never really recovered from the gym incident in April initially bringing my senses to terror, the benzos have taken full control of my sleep patterns, or both. 

[[Pa...]]

I see you trying to come up with reasons for what you're feeling, we all do that.  What's difficult about this process is there is no logic to it all.  The symptoms wax and wane, the healing is not linear and we can never quite pin what we're feeling on any sort of pattern.  It's maddening.

 

I can see the fact that you had an injury makes it that much more difficult, I've seen the same from folks who were damaged by the quinolone family of antibiotics.  I wish I could help, but you seem to be reaching your own conclusions.  That's all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and live as best we can.

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Hi Legend:

 

Several of the folks here have complained about head pressue.  It seems to be pretty common.  Interesting that yours is so localized over the ears.  I haven't found anyone who can suggest anything that really helps or I would certainly be doing it and suggesting it.

 

ntw

[[le...]]

Hello again

 

Pam--thank you for your words of inspiration.  I did not acknowledge you before specifically and wanted to make sure I do this time since you have posted on this thread several times.  I am reading what you have said and it does help instill confidence this will all pass.  I really appreciate it.

 

Ann-

 

Thank you for the HUGE detailed response.  I think you really put things into perspective for not only me, but probably anyone going through this ordeal.  I think once we have come here to gain knowledge and share our thoughts, we realize just how unique we have become, which is kind of a paradox.  I mean--I am sure there are plenty of folks who are not aware of the help groups available which means there are many others just like us suffering with the aftershocks, but the fact these people surrounding all of us who have never went down the path have no concept of what we are enduring places us in a separate dimension we only understand.  This includes primarily the doctors who prescribed us the meds to 'help us' get better.  

 

Without drawing further conclusions, my personal stance is I HAVE to get better promptly, more than a NEED to.   I have several people directly dependent upon me and if I fail, they fail.  It's a burden not because of them, but because of me and the situation I am in.  Compulsion is not the word, rather, desperation is more of a likeness to the current events.  Although one can feel relaxed when you lie in bed for 12 straight hrs and only sleep 2, you get desperate for answers.  The problem is most people will label you as compulsive, i.e. there is something wrong with your behavior, you are dwelling upon the negatives, not that you are in withdrawal from meds.  No that can't be it, there is no clinical evidence and doctors cannot possibly prescribe something and not warn of the withdrawal effects.  So what are we left with?  We come to these sites to be our own advocates and try to put the pieces back together.  So we have to give each other a little slack for not making the most appropriate, rational decisions for ourselves because no professional cared (i.e. research) to front us on the right course.  

 

Right now I am in a state of flux, whereas before I quit taking benzos I still had some measure of sanity with my sleep and remains my primary issue throughout this ordeal since quitting.  I can deal with everything else, but take away a refreshing night of shut-eye I become a different person and basically function like shit.  My creativity and productivity are gone.  At least while on the meds I still had some measure of stability, even though I wish I never took them after what I have learned.

 

That leads me into the reinstatement question.  I know everyone's situation is different, I know there are consequences.  There is again the fuzzy area associated with experimentation, which is what we all did once we accepted the benzos to begin with.  Let's say a consensus is I came off too quickly.  Most would say never go back.  Some have anyway.  Some crossover to Valium when reinstating their taper.  I am all for staying the course but I do not know how long I can endure this severe level of insomnia.  People are beginning to question my behaviors at work, my lack of drive, consciousness and response.  This leads back to what I was stating earlier--there is a desperation to a prompt return to normalcy because there is so much at stake.  The normalcy was there before I quit, although waning, which signaled me to make a decision-- either up the dosage or reduce it completely since it was not doing anything for me in my mind.  Now I realize it's still doing something but did not believe how much of a stranglehold on my brain function and rationale.  I am trying to weigh my options out loud here-- if I cannot withstand the withdrawal much longer.  The decision is mine, but its nutty that is has come down to this, to think that I could influence the next several months or much more based upon what I do today or tomorrow.  Look at me--I am debating what to do publicly--its uncanny.  I am positive, yet unsure.

 

Passing out @ 5:30 in the morning can really put a perspective on things when you are not used to it.   Time, time, time--I know it's the only cure for this, but if there are appropriate measures to reduce the symptoms while waiting, I want to explore them as many do.  That is why I am trying supplements although you have not experienced any success.  That is why I am doing meditation, listening to relaxing music, trying magnesium and some known relaxation supplements before I take any non-recommended action.  Much like benzos, the effects are not the same for everyone so we have to try since time is not going to stop for us.  Your perspective is to sort of put off the things that you say overwhelm you;  I cannot have that luxury since my judgment always has to be considered, but I envy your position nonetheless. Taking myself out of the loop is not an option.

 

I don't know if you can equate with this but sometimes I feel a rush from the center emerging into the brain, like liquid energy funneling up to the mind enough to keep you from falling asleep.  It seems to happen once I get into a state of complete relaxation yet a streaming thought crosses my mind for a split second causing the reaction, wiring me for another hr or two.  

 

I have some real decisions to make soon if the current state of things continues for much longer.  I did not realize what impact this would have in such a short time, but I surely know the consequences of not doing anything about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[le...]]

 

Several of the folks here have complained about head pressue.  It seems to be pretty common.  Interesting that yours is so localized over the ears.  I haven't found anyone who can suggest anything that really helps or I would certainly be doing it and suggesting it.

 

NTW:  This started since experiencing consecutive days of sleep deprivation.  I believe its related.  Tks for looking into it.

[[Pa...]]

You have a decision to make, I can see that, I can also see you have heavy responsibilities.  Since you put your thoughts of reinstatement out there, I'm sure you knew you'd get input.  I'm one of those who will suggest you tough it out, since that is what I did.  I've not heard of many folks who reinstated who achieved the desired effect.  Once your body starts the withdrawal symptoms, all bets are off as far as predicting what will happen. 

 

We have a member who reinstated 10 weeks ago, if fact I just saw her post today because she's ready to begin a taper.  Here's a link to her latest thread in case you'd like to ask her how it went for her. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=16557.0

 

Pam

[[le...]]

Pam--

 

I read that link and noticed she has been on a mg variance of K for 4 years.  That's a long time and I think tolerance for her was achieved long, long ago.  In addition from her sig it appears there are other medical influences that could be affecting her reinstatement/taper attempts.

 

All I am saying is it's hard to compare apples to oranges.  If she is 100 lbs and I am 200 lbs, that must also make some difference as well.

 

I haven't looked thoroughly but I am sure there must be others (feel free to chime in) here that have otherwise been drug-free and taken clonazepam (or Klonopin branded) .75-1 mg exclusively for 6+ mos then decided to jump after tapering down to a safer level only to reinstate to less than half the original level or crossover to Valium (Diazepam).

 

PS Totally welcome reinstate exp / comments!

 

 

 

 

 

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Legend,

I think the purpose of this site is to provide support and encouragement for sufferers of this problem to w/d.

So it is difficult for anyone here who has gone thru this to suggest to others to reinstate and then later cover old territory again.

 

There seem to only be a couple of outcomes of doing so:

 

Reinstate the med (but at what dosage?) and hopefully feel better for the time being.

Reinstate the med and find out you may still not be feeling better (now what?).

 

You probably know by now that you will need to resolve this issue finally at some point.

 

You may know that the w/d symptoms won't be any different at that point.  (Why would they?)

Will something change for you down the road as far as your responsibilities to yourself or others (like maybe you will have

less responsibilities at some point soon)?

 

I personally had reinstate from 1.5mg Diazepam to 2mg recently, when I had nausea so bad it threatened my work performance.

Unfortunately, I only felt a bit better, but I was determined not to increase it any further, and I have slowly reduced it back

again to 1.5mg. 

 

I have also decided to hold off any further cuts until after Christmas to hopefully be able to be as "well" as

possible at this time.

I know this is a difficult decision for you. 

It wasn't quite as hard for me, since I wasn't completely "done" with my taper at the time.

 

Please know that whatever decision you need to make, you would not be closing any doors, or losing any support from

your friends at BB.

-David

 

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

David is great isn't he?  He has such levelheaded input, always well thought out.  Me, I seem to work from more of an emotional aspect, must be that man/woman thing.

 

Currently we have another member who reinstated, her name is DancingGirl.  I'm sure I'll think of more as the day goes by but I wanted to put her name out there as well.  You're right, there are no apples to apples as far as benzo's are concerned, but the more information you have the better informed to make your decision. 

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I wish for you that there is an easy answer to your dilemma Legend but you and I both know that there isn't.  Be damned if you do (quit benzos) and be damned if you don't (maybe).

 

The answers you seek are in my opinion unknown territory.

 

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Pamster, (and anyone else, please comment)...

 

I have a question, that others may have already addressed...(and, I think I already know your answer, since you have prior experience here).

 

But... if legend's (or anyone else's) problem is primarily insomnia, what is the general consensus about getting a short term (2-3 days) prescription sleep aid (z-class) just to build up some stamina, and hopefully avoid reinstatement of the benzo?

 

-David

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi David,

 

The Z class as you know is classified as a non-benzodiazepine, but works on the GABA receptors the same as the benzo.  10 mg of Ambien is equivalent to .5 mg of Klonopin or 10 mg of Valium, where is the logic to taking this drug when it's the same as what you're trying to stay off of?  I fooled myself into thinking it wasn't as bad as the Klonopin, but I kept myself sick for a long time because of it.

 

I've been on this slippery slope and seen others on it too.  Why would a person only take it for a few days knowing the night they didn't they wouldn't sleep?  We talk ourselves into all sorts of thing when we're desperate for sleep. 

 

The best thing to do is find natural sleep methods or if need be, not something in this class of drugs. 

[[...]]

IMO wwjd taking any drugs to sleep is setting yourself up for another addiction.  Relying on medication for sleep is definitely not an option for me - I slept reasonably well prior to benzos and when they are completely gone from my body I intend to sleep well again.  If not, so be it.  I can function now with sleep interruption so I will still be able to post benzos.  I know I will never resort to any of these types of drug again - not an option for me.

[[bl...]]

David ,

 

At the end of my taper and once I  came off completely,(Dec 2nd) I questioned the same thing about the z class sleep aids. (ambien) I actually was taking them throughout most of my taper thinking I was helping myself by getting rest      .

When I mentioned this on this site Pam schooled me on the dangers of these drugs. I have not picked one up since. Everyone here said eventually the sleep will come and guess what ....I am happy to say it did. This was he first symtom to leave me that has not returned.

 

Hopefully this will be the same for you.

 

Blue

[[so...]]

Legend , it sounds like aside from your sleeping pattern changing, you are not getting hit real hard with a host of other side effects you could be  having from benzo withdrawl.  You are down fairly low in the drug now, so if you are not suffering badly now, you may continue to have a fairly easy time dropping the drug...  Once off the drug, you still may suffer from some insomnia for awhile.  I am 2 months off the drug, am 61 years old , and never had insomnia in my life till I first took this drug back in April.  I don't have it now , but it did leave me with  odd sleeping patterns,  ( like tonight its 3 in the am , I am wide awake here on the computer )  when I go to bed , I will sleep thru till about 10 am.  Before this . I would go to bed at 11 and get up at 6 am.  I am expecting this to change again over time, but who knows.  First things first for you though,  Get off the benzo.

st

 

[[le...]]

Hello all,

 

I just wanted to report without going back on any meds after ~12 days I am doing much, much better.  My sleeping pattern returned about 4 days ago.  I've had the best sleep in months.  Cursed benzos prolonged my symptoms!  Even the weakness, anxiety, and shakiness have subsided.  I am battling a nasty cold right now, but I will take that over what I have endured. 

 

I continue to maintain a positive frame of mind which helps me when going through the roller coaster ride from withdrawal. 

 

These drugs should be outlawed and I want to become as active as possible with promoting their demise.

 

Thanks so much to all

 

Legend

[[Pa...]]

Hi Legend,

 

I'm relieved to hear you didn't have to reinstate!  Thank you for coming to the forum to tell us this.  I've been thinking about you and hoping you were doing okay.

 

Pam

[[...]]

Hey legend,

So, a cold is looking pretty good in comparison to w/d symptoms?  Amen to that!

 

It is really great to hear that you're sleeping again,  as I know that can be a miserable experience and

one of the most difficult symptoms to deal with.

 

Thanks for letting us all know that there can be good news, and a road to recovery from this problem. 

Sometimes it's easy to think otherwise.

 

It's good to know that you have become an advocate for more awareness about the misleading

warnings related to benzos... "Can be habit forming." !!!  Well, so can biting your fingernails,

but come on, let's get real.

 

May your Holidays be Very, Very Merry, and may you continue to have "Silent (restful) Nights".

-David

 

 

[[...]]

Congratulations legend - I'm so glad for you that your sleep has returned and well done on not going back to the meds.

 

Happy holidays.

[[le...]]

Happy Holidays Everyone,

 

Thanks all again for the positive reinforcement! 

 

My cold has gone away somewhat, but I have these other symptoms I believe related to the withdrawal starting to creep back.  My sleeping pattern is still good.  I am getting about 8 hrs now.  In fact, I feel sleepy quite a bit and don't mind it really except that I feel exhausted, esp these past few days. 

 

The most bothersome issue now is a relapse of internal trembling and mild teeth chatter and some return anxiety.  It started a couple of days ago and has become stronger now.  As a result, I am having trouble focusing and am highly lethargic.  I feel kinda bummed like I don't want to do anything plus some lost interest in general.  The left side of my body is weak again and I have some vision disturbances.  I have some chest pounding.  This evening I have some pressure in and above the ears.  My head is in a fog.  I have some trouble keeping my hands steady when performing tasks. 

 

I am hoping this is all just temporary and part of recovery.  I hope and again maintain a positive attitude.