6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

Greenice....I had no idea that magnesium is available in an oil....I am definitely going to get some...anything we don't have to ingest.  .yay!...I am not sure, but I think I read somewhere that the magnesium in bath epsome salts does absorb through our skin in very small amount.

.....how are you Green?

 

.......Nova....that video/music is so beautiful.......thank you for that share...are you doing better than you were 2 days ago?.....you always have such encouraging words...glad you follow this thread......coop

 

[[pa...]]

Cooperten, It's not really an oil; it's a supersaturated liquid.  It has a slippery feel to it, which is why it's nicknamed an oil.  It's also a different type of magnesium that epsom salt.  Magnesium oil is magnesium chloride, and epsom is sulfate.

[[Gr...]]

Greenice....I had no idea that magnesium is available in an oil....I am definitely going to get some...anything we don't have to ingest.  .yay!...I am not sure, but I think I read somewhere that the magnesium in bath epsome salts does absorb through our skin in very small amount.

.....how are you Green?

 

.......Nova....that video/music is so beautiful.......thank you for that share...are you doing better than you were 2 days ago?.....you always have such encouraging words...glad you follow this thread......coop

 

Hey, Coop, yes, ancient minerals mag oil.  I got it on Amazon.  I really have trouble swallowing anything.  And I always wonder about how much we really absorb through the gut.

 

Coop, I stopped sleeping.  Have you had a problem with that recently?

 

I might try that Calm Forte you talk about.  I long for your lavender bath.  I pulled out my tub and put a shower in two years ago.  I'm dying to soak in something.  LOL. 

 

Be well.

Sue

[[ro...]]

Coop, hi just wondered about the calm s forte? where toget, and what does it do?

In starting v taper, just feel so sad.

Is it normal to isolate for days?

I am missing lots of days here and there.

You helped me before.

I hope you continue feeling better with ne dr.

[[pe...]]

Hi Nova, Greenice, Jenny, Coop,

Thanks. The kindness here is really helping me through. I am in the thickest, darkest woods right now and it feels like there is noway out. I know there are many things playing into it, not the least of which is just the length of this journey. It feels relentless. It feels impossible. But at the same time I know I've been better than this. Even yesterday was better than this. I just have to hope I get some relief soon. This is what we do. Back and forth, up and down. And every time it feels just as awful and endless. Thank you for being there. I hope to be back soon with better news.

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Peace, my heart is with you....I k ow exactly what you are going through. I had a 9 day wave at the beginning of month 6 that was almost worse than acute...black black thick depression and existential intrusive thoughts that no human being should ever have. That is when I started this thread...I just didn't think I would ever get through it. ....You will get through it Peace. I started getting little sunbreaks and the depression and intrusive thoughts let up. I still had dome sadness, but it was not as crushing and it began to come and go instead of hanging on 24/7.

....It will get better Peace, I read Life 's posts alot....he was miserable in month 6 and began writing posts about windows at month 7,5. His posts on this thread have kept my hope going...and everyone else 's posts here. ....Peace try to get from one hour to the next....this will give way to better days.

.......  We are all sending you wishes for some relief and comfort.... coop

[[Co...]]

Greenice and Rosegal.....the Hylands Calms Forte is homeopathic. ( standard formulations of lemon balm, passion flower, hops and something else I don't understand). ....you can take 1-3. as needed up to 2 times a day. Hylands is a reputable line. I gave my babies their teething tablets years ago. I get them at any store that has an organic or natural healing aisle. I get mine at Fred Meyers.

 

Green....how do you live without a tub? .. I am trying to think of a way you could use the lavender epsome salts. I used to use them in a foot bath a hundred years ago when. I was pregnant. ( boy, that was a lifetime ago.  lol). ....but they really took the swelling out...even that much could be soothing ...Sometimes I make a hot pack using water / lavender salts for headache...put the pack over your forehead.. covering the ears too....and a second hot pack to the back of the neck and lay down...helps every time...next timew you have to go to a hotel take your lavender salts with you and soak all day....better yet treat yourself to a 2 day self spa in an inexpensive hotel....

.....feel better....Green....wishing you a nice long hot lavender soak...one way or another....coop

 

 

 

 

 

[[Co...]]

PS....Rosegal.....yes,  I think self isolating goes hand in hand with w/d ...especially with the depression and d/r. d/p.......its hard to relate to people when you are in the depths of depression, but its depressing to feel alone.  sad catch 22..  when I am in the black forest of depression. the best I can do is texting and fb..anything more just takes more mental energy than I can muster. You will have better days ...and when you do start with short open ended outings......it gets better...coop

[[No...]]

Coop - still in the soup, and some mad elf keeps stirring the pot. Been off and on, mostly on. Getting out for a while each day. Had a humdinger of several hours last night. Things haven't been that "loud" in a while. And then, clear as a bell for a while. Woke up back on the treadmill. A boisterous start to month 8.

 

Take care. Good healing.

[[Gr...]]

Hi Nova, Greenice, Jenny, Coop,

Thanks. The kindness here is really helping me through. I am in the thickest, darkest woods right now and it feels like there is noway out. I know there are many things playing into it, not the least of which is just the length of this journey. It feels relentless. It feels impossible. But at the same time I know I've been better than this. Even yesterday was better than this. I just have to hope I get some relief soon. This is what we do. Back and forth, up and down. And every time it feels just as awful and endless. Thank you for being there. I hope to be back soon with better news.

 

Peace2

 

Ok, Peace.  You're two months behind me.  'fraid to say it's been up and down, window and wave.  Good news, the waves get shorter.  And if you can remember yesterday was a better day, that's good.  Remember when you come out of this, you're going to feel so much better than you have to date.  Have you read Parker's post on what's happening in your brain?  Don't worry.  Hang in there. Feeling bad means you're getting better.  And keep reaching out on the bad days. We're all in the same boat.

[[Co...]]

Green, yes I had a two month stretch of insomnia in months 4-6. It was a new s/x . In taper and acute I did not sleep well, but I did sleep. I never needed the Benzo for sleep during the time I was on it. Then in month 4 I absolutely could not sleep..  nothing really helped. Now I am sleeping ...so to speak...I go to sleep usually by 10 or so with some momentary wake-ups...but I wake up every morning by 430 ( used to be 330). ....in a window I can usually go back to sleep for awhile. During a wave going back to sleep is impossible. I have always been an early morning person ...but 430 is too early even for me. ...Lately I am getting more REM and even some good dreams... .hope it improves for you. .I think  you could try the Calms Forte ....

.....coop

[[pe...]]

Coop and Greenice,

Thank you. People on this thread are so nice. Why do the nicest people have to go through this crappiest of things? I'm home from work now, held my toddler while he slept, talked with my six year old and the burning in my brain has subsided some. We have a ridiculously full weekend ahead. I will be breathing and following Coops advice to take it hour by hour and Green's advice to check in. I hate that we're in this boat together on Lake Awful, but so glad for the lovely company.

Here's to setting foot safely on the shore. 

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Peace....this has to be really hard with trying to be a mommy with 2 little ones who need you. Do you have good support? .....take good care of you too....coop

[[Co...]]

I just want a double latte ..regular coffee not decaf and 5 Dove candies......

[[ro...]]

coop,  I'll have what you're having!

[[No...]]

This is feeng like the start to month 7. The side effects keeping ramping up and then drop back a bit and then ramp a little higher. Lousy cycling. This down-up, down-up, down-up is exhausting. I feel in a total ache, with pricks of pain here and there, off and on. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk. Have lost my bounce for a while. If anyone finds it please Fedex it back to me.

 

[[Co...]]

Rosegal, when we finally find our way out of this alternate universe, we can have virtual coffewe together....wish everyone lived in my city.  I am in the PNW...on the 'other ' side of the mountains of Seattle... .One day we will be able to go to our favorite coffee haunts and order whatever we want....kinda living for that simple pleasure from my former life.

.....Rose...wishing you Dove candies with all the best messages inside the wrapper.....coop

[[Co...]]

Nova....your bounce will return to you...I can hear it in your writing...that twinkle of humor even on a discouraging day. ....I am experiencing the same up/down round and round shuffle of s/x. Cycling through all the s/x in one day...sometimes in one hour...Month 8....so huge. We are all creeping and crawling ..and bouncing...to that one year mark. I just read InaDaze 's post and after a long belly crawl he is seeing sustained improvement right at 14 months. He has had improvement at microscopic increments and tough persistant s/x all the way....now consistent improvement....we can get there too.

....Nova, wishing you more sunbreaks than cloud cover in your daily cycles. I hear ya on the exhaustion and weakness.....kick back and let it be...what else can we really do ....coop

[[No...]]

Coop - yep, kick back and let it be. I read Innadaze's post. Very incouraging. Don't know if you saw it, but the "peanut butter" thread in post withdrawal will tickle your funny bone.

 

Have a good one folks.

[[ro...]]

Coop.thanks for encouragement and coffee date..special messages inside Dove choc...

You are a sweetie, keep feeeling better each day!

 

Nova, wishing you lots of sunny windows and sending fed ex to you with a truckload of "bounce" (not the fabric softener!)

[[pe...]]

Nova,

I wish I could be of more help, add something positive or witty. I just don't have anything, but it'll get better!

I am being walloped at the moment. Checking in, breathing, one hour at a time.

 

Coop,

You are such a sweet soul. I love reading your responses to everyone. Just knowing your loving soul is out there is a help.

 

Healing is happening.

[[ro...]]

"Loving soul..coop"..

[[No...]]

peace2 - just our being here, holding each other in our thoughts and prayers, is help "enough". I feel being held and hoped for and wished for by each of you. What more could I ask for?

 

rosegal sent me enough "bounce" to "soften" my side effects for the next fifty years. Thanks, rosegal. I am sending each of you some.

 

"Bounce On!".

 

Up in the middle of the night again. Oh well. This too shall pass.

 

Have the best Sunday you can, folks.

 

[[Sk...]]

Just a quick update.

 

Yesterday I biked over 12 miles  with some friends. After Mr Sky invited them over for dinner to taste our pizza.

 

I can't believe I made it. It wasn't easy, I got a mild sun stroke, I had hard times thinking of something ok to say. But it happened it and it meant a lot to me. And after my head  ached so much ( it sill does) but I still fell asleep because thanfully my body was too exausted to allow for any nonsense!!!

 

I couldn't wait to tell you guys about it. I did normal stuff for a day. Can't wait to slowly have a long list of normal stuff days!

[[No...]]

SkyHD - 

 

Biking, friends and pizza ... that's a great combination. And then sleep.

 

Many more of these are on the way.

 

Take care.