6-12 month thread....

[[pe...]]

Beulah -

Good to hear from you and that the mental side effects are healing nicely. That's awesome and might just be what your brain is currently working on. I hope you break through neutral in to a nice everlasting window. You've come so far.

 

Peace

[[ga...]]

Hope everyone is having a great day.  I had been doing better the past few with regards to sleep ( 4 to 5 hours a night...no meds of any kind)...still having intrusive thoughts early in the morning that really get me DOWN.  Can't stop the thoughts of the future and how horrible it will be if I am alone and not much to look forward too.  Still find that's the stuff I worry about.  I find that when I get up in the those early morning hours..I feel all alone and project that awful feeling into the future.  I know how silly that all sounds but that is what I allow my mind to do.  It is now 8 a.m. and I will start some distraction by working out and then go to work later in the day.  I sure wish I could get past this depressing way of looking at life.  Thanks for letting me vent.  Best wishes for a good day to all my BB's.

[[La...]]

Just hit 8 months off and it seems that improvement in recovery has slowed to a trickle these past 2-3 months. By month 6, I'd estimate my baseline on any given day to be in the 90-100% range. Some days I'd feel great, other days, minor sxs would plague me. I call these micro-waves  .  It seems as though this has not improved over the last 3 months. But maybe healing is too gradual to perceive.

 

Persistent Sxs still include: occasional early morning wakepups with a "burning brain," mild paresthesia (hands, face), muscle twitching, occasional excessive worrying (though not so severe I would label it panic or white knuckled fear), tinnitus, severe sensitivity to alcohol, occasional mild brain zaps (really?! still getting these at 8 months out?!!), sensitivity to sound and light.

 

Despite these occasional/mild sxs, I'm out living my life exactly as I did pre-benzo with the exception of no alcohol and practicing rigid sleep hygiene behaviors.

 

In retrospect, my healing started while I was still tapering, such that by the time I jumped I was doing a lot better. A few weeks of "post-acute" after jumping pushed me back a bit, but I progressed/healed through the ensuing months. However, months 6-8 have been a lull of healing and reminds me just how dangerous this class of meds are. Brain zaps still at 8+ months out? Really?!

 

Hope everyone here has a better day today. 

 

Laser

[[Co...]]

Garton ...I know those depressing intrusive thoughts that set in the moment you open your eyes in the morning. It is w/d...if you did not have this prior to benzo you can be assured that it will eventually disappear. Do they go away in a window or sunbreak? ..if so that is another reliable indication that it is w/d. ..

......These thoughts do not come from you and distraction  is the best defense They will eventually come and go with some relief in between. Getting up as soon as I woke up was one strategy that helped me too,  otherwise I was just lying there ruminating in a loop of intrusive scary depressive thoughts.

....This is a hard s/x Garton,  but this will end too....coop

[[ga...]]

Thx Coop...I always somewhat negative and I would say a realist prior to using benzos.  I worry that this is due to where I am at in life rather than w/d.  I REALLY hope you are right and this is all part of the brain recovering.  I know thinking positively would probably help.  Easier said than done...especially when waking up at those early hours.  Thx again for the support.

[[Co...]]

Hi Laser.....nice to see you,  you were one of ythe first ones to support me when I came on the forum so many months ago.

....You are sounding good. I hit a big brick wall in month 6 and the last 4 months has been a cycle of waves with some sunbreaks and some nice 24 hours along the way. As you can see from the posts many of us are feeling stalled and frustrated in months 8,  9,  10, ...Some are posting huge improvement in months 12-14. Some who have healed have come back on to say they saw significant healing by months 12-14-18 with a total return to their lives in the second year.

...It is inspiring that you have continued your every day life.  That is what we are all hoping for.

....So nice to see you here.....wishing you continued healing and windows all the way. Congratulations on month 8....coop

[[je...]]

Hi Garton,

I have these thoughts constantly. My future just feels depressive, when I think about my life I don't see any happiness for me. I've always been a tad negative, but now its relentless. I dont want to be this person, its so hard. Hang in there buddy, jenny

[[ga...]]

Hi Jenny...I know how miserable having these thoughts are.  Having them all the time, I can't imagine.  I just remember that things never remain constant.  There will be better days ahead...this will change for the better as time goes on.  I really think writing down positive affirmations helps.  Things are really not as bad as our minds perceive.  Try distraction as best you can.  I know that is so hard when you're feeling the way you are...but it does work.  Keep the faith. It WILL get better.

[[Co...]]

Hi Jenny....You have had a long trek. ..Are you right at year one?...So many here tell us that good healing is reliable in months 12-14-18 ...with getting our lives back in the second year. Seems sur-real doesn't it...get off a medication and it takes 2 years to return to our lives. But we have come half way to completely healed....with improvements in the first year.

....I am still battling dizziness...yesterday it was much better...today back with nausea. Not as intense as the onset but discouraging ...I am not happy up and I am not happy in bed (I have spent way too much time in bed from taper to month 10).

....We are going to heal Jenny...we just have to keep going one day at a time. Are you getting any sunbreaks or windows? ...

....wishing you a better day today....coop

[[Ha...]]

Jenny and coop,

 

I am at the same spot as you both where things are bad and come and go still!! I got hit with a sore throat yesterday and I pray it don't get worse. We will get there it seems like forever then we will heal and life will FLY because we will be having fun again! Its depressing to sit like this!! Gets very old.

 

 

Prayers!

Happy me

[[Co...]]

Happy, you and I jumped on the same day....Dec 4. I hope your sore throat disappears. From reading your signature line you seem to be improving,  albeit sitting in one place right now with the rest of us. ...How is your baseline?...Mine has improved this month ( from 70-75% to 80%),  buy I have had a tough wave of head pressure,  dizziness,  nausea and anxiety that has Bern hanging on for about 2 weeks. It lifted yesterday but is back today....waiting waiting for another window.

.....So glad for you that improvements are happening for you...copp

[[fl...]]

Garton, I'm right where you are.  Is it me, or is it still from the benzo?

 

Have a great day, everyone.  Keep on posting!

[[ga...]]

Well we can certainly empathize with each other.  Let's hope we see some positive changes. I am sick and tired of this morning stuff.  Hope the rest of your day is going better!

[[li...]]

Acamprosate, also known as N-acetyl homotaurine[2] and by the brand name Campral, is a drug used for treating alcoholism. 

Acamprosate is thought to stabilize the chemical balance in the brain that would otherwise be disrupted by alcohol withdrawal or benzodiazepine withdrawal, possibly by antagonizing glutaminergic N-methyl-D-aspartate receptors (NMDA) and agonizing gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) type A receptors.[3] Reports indicate that acamprosate only works with a combination of attending support groups and abstinence from alcohol.[4][5] Certain serious side effects include diarrhea, allergic reactions, irregular heartbeats, and low or high blood pressure, while less serious side effects include headaches, insomnia, and impotence.[6] Acamprosate should not be taken by people with kidney problems or allergies to the drug.[7]

 

So that's what Wiki says.  It's antabuse, right?

 

Hi everyone... so what is the verdict on "Acamprosate"... Alcohol hits the same receptors as benzos but does this drug minimize the s/a? Just wondering?.. Been laying low Coop and in the strange "not window not wave" area. I think this is the area where I have to force my self to push forward and then I feel better. That is .... it is the area where I feel better. Last night hit a window that was awesome for 3 hours .. rang the bell at 95% and then drifted toward  back 85%. I think my baseline is getting better but I feel like I am just in a holding pattern.

 

Jenny so nice to hear from you. It great to see so many new people on the boards. Peace and Green we are haling and notin' is going to stop that!

 

Any info on Acamprosate would be greatly appreciated! Hello to al and healing is coming our way!

 

 

life

[[...]]

I'm in the same boat! It's not horribly bad, but occasionally feeling as though I have nothing good ahead. I try positive talk that I can do anything I want to, I have my loving husband, etc. if that doesn't work, I try to distract! I also have that darn negative feeling in the pit of my stomach when I'm this way. I don't feel this way much anymore, but when I do it just feels SO awful!!

 

[[pe...]]

Many of us are rocking around in the doldrums. I hope a big gust of wind comes through and blows us out of these waters…just not into a wave. Safely to shore on your boogie board, life raft, row boat….

 

Peace

[[...]]

Peace you are doing so great! Going to work, working with little ones no less!!

 

You are awesome!!

 

[[pe...]]

Thanks, GMIT. I'm in the doldrums, too, just with a big fake smile plastered on my face. I've got the depressing thoughts, head pressure, fatigue, etc. I just have a whole lot of responsibility right along side those benzo gifts. One minute at a time, one task at a time. One more day closer to healing.

 

You are such a shining sun, GMIT. Shine on us! Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right.

 

Peace

[[...]]

Were you on the thread where we were talking about the cog fog and head pressure?

 

Bird man was talking about how she takes anti inflammatories and how they were supposed to help those! Funny thing is, I have taken Aleve all along due to pretty severe osteoarthritis and I never have had the cog/head pressure! She may be on to something!

 

[[pe...]]

GMIT - I wish I had the courage to try it. I'm a little shy of all things that come in a pill bottle.

[[...]]

I completely understand! I have taken it for so long and never quit due to pain!

 

[[Bi...]]

Acamprosate, also known as N-acetyl homotaurine[2] and by the brand name Campral, is a drug used for treating alcoholism. 

Acamprosate is thought to stabilize the chemical balance in the brain that would otherwise be disrupted by alcohol withdrawal or benzodiazepine withdrawal, possibly by antagonizing glutaminergic N-methyl-D-aspartate receptors (NMDA) and agonizing gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) type A receptors.[3] Reports indicate that acamprosate only works with a combination of attending support groups and abstinence from alcohol.[4][5] Certain serious side effects include diarrhea, allergic reactions, irregular heartbeats, and low or high blood pressure, while less serious side effects include headaches, insomnia, and impotence.[6] Acamprosate should not be taken by people with kidney problems or allergies to the drug.[7]

 

So that's what Wiki says.  It's antabuse, right?

 

Hi everyone... so what is the verdict on "Acamprosate"... Alcohol hits the same receptors as benzos but does this drug minimize the s/a? Just wondering?.. Been laying low Coop and in the strange "not window not wave" area. I think this is the area where I have to force my self to push forward and then I feel better. That is .... it is the area where I feel better. Last night hit a window that was awesome for 3 hours .. rang the bell at 95% and then drifted toward  back 85%. I think my baseline is getting better but I feel like I am just in a holding pattern.

 

Jenny so nice to hear from you. It great to see so many new people on the boards. Peace and Green we are haling and notin' is going to stop that!

 

Any info on Acamprosate would be greatly appreciated! Hello to al and healing is coming our way!

 

 

life

 

Acamprosate is helpful but like any thing you can't over do it.  Great for really bad days.

[[Co...]]

Life...hi friend...was getting a little worried. Thank you for mentioning your " 3 hour window '...I was better yesterday,  a half day window ( sunbreak)...got up this morning with acute s/x (dizziness...anxiety...intrusive thoughts..depression...nausea..crying like a little girl)..

....4 hour later...another sunbreak and still holding ( except fatigue is holding on). No dizziness.. no anxiety... no intrusive thoughts...mild nausea after eating..very mild depression about missing my kids that feels completely in the realm of ' normal life blues). .....I hope this is an indication of more healing. My baseline went up too...from 70-75% up to 80%...but when the window closes I drop below my baseline. I was like you before this last wave of dizziness etc I was holding a baseline in that exact limbo land that you speak of.

....So happy to see you back on Life....95%!!!...with no adjunct meds ...that is so incredibly awesome..you deserve it dear friend. ..You are HEALING brother...keep talking to us,  you are like GMITZ...a light in the dark. ....Yahoo for you! !... love coop

[[Co...]]

Hi Mighty Girl Peace...you have such determination...I feel so wimpy every time I read one of your posts...I have days in which I am afraid to go from the bedroom to the kitchen...and you go to work every day with s/x...and a ' chop wood,  carry water ' frame of mind. ...Speaking of Chop wood,  carry water ' ...had anyone heard from our sweetie Nova?... I tried to find his blog and didn't see it....

....About the head pressure...Everyone is different,  but like you I am afraid to try anything that comes out of a bottle or capsule or pill....I have had too many sad experiences from ' harmless ' aides...including a homeopathic...I do take plain low dose aspirin when the joint and muscle pain is not tolerable.

......Peace,  your smile wont always be of the "plastered on fake " type...we are all going to get our " heart light " back...

....Hope you get some rest on this last afternoon of the weekend...love to you Mighty Girl....coop

[[Sk...]]

Thanks, GMIT. I'm in the doldrums, too, just with a big fake smile plastered on my face. I've got the depressing thoughts, head pressure, fatigue, etc. I just have a whole lot of responsibility right along side those benzo gifts. One minute at a time, one task at a time. One more day closer to healing.

 

You are such a shining sun, GMIT. Shine on us! Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right.

 

Peace

 

Peace, you are doing better than you realize. The few times I tried to paste a  smile to my face I looked like Joker and I was begged to stop and desist ! Ok, I'm  overdoing it but you get what I mean.

 

Just got out of 24 hours of hell, I am so happy it is temporarily over, you have no idea! I am so greatful for the break.

 

I guess it was my period. Anyway it was impossible to distract because the head pressure shut my brain down and I could just lie down in the dark and hope for the best .

But it's gone and that is all that matters.

 

Hope everybody is well and that the week brings you all,  small joys leading to healing.

 

Will talk more tomorrow, here it is late and I have to get my beauty sleep.