Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[Lu...]]

What is ssdi?

[[Mo...]]

I was able to get approved for long term disability with my employer (I also have an anxiety disorder and have had major episodes of depression) but was, not surprisingly, denied Social Security Disability (SSDI) and I'm not appealing.  I hired an attorney for the employer based long term disability as I couldn't even fill out any paperwork, etc, at the time.  My long term disability is only 40% of what my previous salary was but I'm still grateful for it.  My husband went back to work and that's helped make up for the rest of the income that we lost.  It's been SO hard but we are getting through. 

[[Be...]]

What is ssdi?

 

 

Social Securiity Disability Insurance

[[ho...]]

Hi..I guess this is a good place for me.

 

I started my C/O from K to V in late Oct ( didn’t follow Ashton Protocol exactly) and boy did I have a huge problem.  I got through it and now I am just trying to get by.  The struggle is real for sure. 

 

Actually I am suppose to cut down to 9 mg tonight, but I have decided to hold for one week.  My body is just exhausted and I need to see if holding will give me some relief.

 

I see people talking about working.  There is no way I could work. Thankfully I am semi retired ( have a small income) and my partner is still working ( he isn’t worried about me working) and very supportive.  My heart goes out to those who have too, truly. 

 

Looking forward to getting to know some of you, some of you I have already been in contact with and we get to go through this together and cheer each other on.  The good news is: WE CAN DO THIS!!!

 

Marie

[[ki...]]

Marie, I think holding is a good idea. Often things settle down when we do! Welcome to this thread! Lots of knowledgeable people here for support.  :smitten:

[[ho...]]

Kits - Thank you.....

[[Mo...]]

Welcome Marie!  I hope that extra week gives you some much needed relief!

[[ho...]]

Momof7-  Thank you for the comment 

 

I am reading back on some of you so I can get a little feel for some of the group.....

[[Be...]]

 

I started my C/O from K to V in late Oct ( didn’t follow Ashton Protocol exactly) and boy did I have a huge problem.  I got through it and now I am just trying to get by.  The struggle is real for sure. 

 

Marie

 

 

Hi Marie,

 

We've exchanged a few chats. I slightly sped up my crossover from K to V from Ashton's Protocol, and it went well for me. I felt liberated from the punch that the K had given me. I know I'm not the norm, and I'd never recommend anybody do what I did.

 

But then I tapered too fast because I relied on a post from a bad forum (don't use either eMedicine or Healthboards, both terrible) where someone went faster than Ashton guidlines suggest. I felt pretty good, until 10 days later. Sadly, I had no choice but to reinstate, and it took 2 months, then I made a .5 mg cut, and it was a disaster. Some wise BB's helped me realize my provider had underdosed me, I was on too low a dose. And that cut pushed me over the edge. I just thought my miserable Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years holidays was just the W/D from my rapid taper, and waiting for the Valium to build up. I now got that fixed, my provider saw I was underdosed and agreed with the wise BB members. So it's been another two month wait. So, I haven't cut yet, but I am 5 mg less than Ashton's crossover amount, and have just been waiting and holding.

 

This group you will find very helpful. Hope you will stick around.

[[Ni...]]

 

Thank you, I posted in the long hold group.

 

I got another question, is being on even doses important to keep symptoms at bay?

 

And to taper off 1 mg of valium a week is too fast right?

 

Sorry, git caught up in the PPI discussion and overlooked this.

 

Not with Valium, Valium has an extremely long half-life. 

 

As to your second question, Ashton manual suggests 10 to 14 days, 1 week is too fast. 2 weeks is the best. I made the mistake of tapering too fast, and failed. And I had practically no symptoms during the fast taper, didn't really hit me until I was off. And then it hit me bad. I had to reinstate and start all over again. With your symptoms, you should be tapering a lot slower, minimum 14 days, or longer, until you stabilize. Going too fast will just set you back, and you'll end up updosing, slowing the taper down, and starting all over again, which will set you back months. Slowwwwww downnnnn.

 

Thank you for the advice BenzoLottie 

[[Be...]]

Well I had a very bad day yesterday, and not doing much better today. My caseworker called to tell me my home worker was leaving next month. I was expecting to have her until June, because in June I am having to switch agencies due to insurance. So, my case is being closed out and I will have no one.

 

I talked to my Social Worker crying, I have my appt with my Psych NP Friday, and was planning on trying a .5 cut again. But I'm so stressed out over this, because I'm physically disabled, autistic and I can't do this taper without my support services. My social worker is working on getting me a relacement service provider.  All I've been doing is bawling my eyes out, and the stress of this really ramped up my symptoms. 

 

I don't think I should do that .5 cut, I'm scared of having a repeat of last time, when I did it in January. My Social Worker will hopefully know something before my Friday appt with the NP. Really needing that appt, so I can update NP on things, and discuss a few medical stuff.

 

I'm so miserable right now, I wish God would just take me away from all this.

[[ho...]]

HI BenzoLottie-

 

You were really lucky on your C/O...and perhaps others have been too.  I have always been one to cut corners if I can ( I have been working one that my whole life...with my moms voice in my head ‘ haste makes waste’ ...she is no longer with us.) and I just jumped over.....and boy did I pay the price, and then just kept going.  I did finally “stabilize” at some level.  I could go over to my progress log, or look on my fridge and count the windows....definitely more waves and benzo flu.  But lessons learned.

 

I am so glad you were able to get stabilized but I am so sorry to hear about your Ins., and the issues of having to get a new case worker and the unknowing and all that stress that comes with that.  We are already fragile and stressed.  My heart goes out to you and I will say a Prayer for you. I hope today you are feeling a little better.

 

Thank you for the advice about those forums.  I am holding like I said.  I already feel better today, somewhat of a window.  I really think the big push back in NOV and continuing the ~ 10% cuts every 2 weeks, just caught up with me this time and I need to just hold.  I’m not going to get caught up in the “ dates” I had set in my head. I’m over it.  I’m going to do a symptom based taper, and start the micro taper too. I’ll figure out my % based on my symptoms.

 

Nikitis-  HI! BenzoLottie, did give you great advice and boy this forum has some wonderful information.  I think I was going too fast and it finally caught up with me.  I was so set on a date, and just focused on getting OFF!!!  But the agony “for me” was just becoming unbearable and my quality of life was becoming unbearable too.  So I had to re-group.  I hope you find the best fit for you and you get through this with the least amount of SX!

 

I’m so thankful for all of you on here and sharing....I went back and read a lot and it was very helpful. 

[Guest [bl...]]

Hello All -

 

I am at the end of my taper yay! I took Ativan for a short time and then cold turkey’ed (yikes) I did not know what was happening to me. The hospital put me on zopilcone (yikes again) which made matters infinitely worse. I have never experienced something as awful as zopiclone, I was constantly in WD and had no clue what was happening. Finally got referred to a psychiatrist who promptly diagnosed me with benzo withdrawal and put me on 5 mgs of Valium. I tapered this for 10 months down to 0.25mgs. I have been on the 0.25 mgs for over a year nightly. I am terrified to drop it. I am coming here for support with jumping or possibly tapering lower. Thank you

[[Ma...]]

Hello All -

 

I am at the end of my taper yay! I took Ativan for a short time and then cold turkey’ed (yikes) I did not know what was happening to me. The hospital put me on zopilcone (yikes again) which made matters infinitely worse. I have never experienced something as awful as zopiclone, I was constantly in WD and had no clue what was happening. Finally got referred to a psychiatrist who promptly diagnosed me with benzo withdrawal and put me on 5 mgs of Valium. I tapered this for 10 months down to 0.25mgs. I have been on the 0.25 mgs for over a year nightly. I am terrified to drop it. I am coming here for support with jumping or possibly tapering lower. Thank you

 

Hey Bless, sounds like you are in a good position.  Can I ask you a few questions?  The most important one, is how are you feeling?  And how long?  IMO, if you are so anxious about jumping, unless you are feeling great, I would probably go down to .125 for a few weeks, check my symptoms and if all is very tolerable, just go for it.  Give yourself one final goal, keep telling yourself, .125 is it !

You can do this  .  Mary 🙋🏼

 

 

[[ho...]]

Hi Blessthismess-

 

Good for you...That’s so awesome.  Can I ask how you are getting your .25 dose?  Liquid or cutting/weighing pill’s ?

 

I would probably try a 10% cut and see how I feel at two weeks....then go from there.  Just because of the long half life of Valium and you have been on that dose for a year.  But this is only my opinion  .  If you do well, go for that bigger cut at 50% and if you tolerate that after another two weeks, you would probably be ok to just jump. 

 

Marie

[Guest [bl...]]

Thanks Mary!!! I feel ok, not 100% but ok. I work full time and can handle that but do not feel like myself if that makes sense. I do have anxiety and it is BAD some days, other days are easier and I get the odd day where I don’t have a care in the world and feel like my old self. I have my Valium in liquid (1mg/1ml ratio) so can taper lower if need be.

[Guest [bl...]]

Hi Marie! Thanks for the reply. I have a compounded liquid and have used this since around 3mgs of Valium, it’s a 1ml/1mg suspension. I think that plan sounds good. So I would go to 0.23 mgs of Valium next for 2 weeks and then 10% every 2 weeks after (my math may not be correct here!) thanks

[[ho...]]

Blessthismess-

 

Thanks for the reply.  Did you always have the liquid ?  If not, what was your experience c/o to it.  I am only asking because I am going to start the micro tapering and may want to do liquid.  I am going to talk with my compound pharmacist on Monday.

 

Your math looks right....I’m tired and my benzo brain isn’t working well this late at night...lol.  But I think those numbers look like what I came up with earlier when I plugged in your number. 

 

Marie

[[Ho...]]

BB,

 

I have a question in regards to my own taper. It has been 11 days on 15mg and I don't feel I am coping well. I am thinking the reduction from 16mg > 15mg Valium was too much, too soon and am considering updosing. My previous dose of 16mg was held for a period of 4 weeks and I felt ok.

 

At the moment, current symptoms include am not sleeping during the night time hours, and broken / repetitive thoughts causing anxiety. I know it is not recommended to updose from the Ashton manual, but I am not sleeping during the night time hours and cramping pretty hefty when it is day time. Sometimes I feel I am completely losing my mind because of the intrusive thoughts that occur before I take my 15mg dose!

 

I am reaching out for support to ask whether I should go back to 16mg per day just stay on that for a couple months. Would appreciate some sound advice.

 

Thanks Hoops88.

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Mary!!! I feel ok, not 100% but ok. I work full time and can handle that but do not feel like myself if that makes sense. I do have anxiety and it is BAD some days, other days are easier and I get the odd day where I don’t have a care in the world and feel like my old self. I have my Valium in liquid (1mg/1ml ratio) so can taper lower if need be.

 

If you are on liquid and want to taper slower, I am all for it.  I think slowly walking of this last .25 is great.  Really gives your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to be ready to walk off.  Keep us posted. 

[[Li...]]

Well I had a very bad day yesterday, and not doing much better today. My caseworker called to tell me my home worker was leaving next month. I was expecting to have her until June, because in June I am having to switch agencies due to insurance. So, my case is being closed out and I will have no one.

 

I talked to my Social Worker crying, I have my appt with my Psych NP Friday, and was planning on trying a .5 cut again. But I'm so stressed out over this, because I'm physically disabled, autistic and I can't do this taper without my support services. My social worker is working on getting me a relacement service provider.  All I've been doing is bawling my eyes out, and the stress of this really ramped up my symptoms. 

 

I don't think I should do that .5 cut, I'm scared of having a repeat of last time, when I did it in January. My Social Worker will hopefully know something before my Friday appt with the NP. Really needing that appt, so I can update NP on things, and discuss a few medical stuff.

 

Hello, BenzoLottie.  Losing a support service unexpectedly is devastating.  I hope your social worker finds a replacement soon.  In the interim, if I were in your shoes, I would hold off on making another reduction in dose at least until you can talk to your NP. 

[Guest [bl...]]

Blessthismess-

 

Thanks for the reply.  Did you always have the liquid ?  If not, what was your experience c/o to it.  I am only asking because I am going to start the micro tapering and may want to do liquid.  I am going to talk with my compound pharmacist on Monday.

 

Your math looks right....I’m tired and my benzo brain isn’t working well this late at night...lol.  But I think those numbers look like what I came up with earlier when I plugged in your number. 

 

Marie

 

The C/O was totally fine - I get my meds from the same compounding pharmacy everytime and really had no issues when I started the liquid. I could feel the effects a little sooner but other than that no reportable issues! I crossed over at around 3mgs.

[[Ma...]]

Well I had a very bad day yesterday, and not doing much better today. My caseworker called to tell me my home worker was leaving next month. I was expecting to have her until June, because in June I am having to switch agencies due to insurance. So, my case is being closed out and I will have no one.

 

I talked to my Social Worker crying, I have my appt with my Psych NP Friday, and was planning on trying a .5 cut again. But I'm so stressed out over this, because I'm physically disabled, autistic and I can't do this taper without my support services. My social worker is working on getting me a relacement service provider.  All I've been doing is bawling my eyes out, and the stress of this really ramped up my symptoms. 

 

I don't think I should do that .5 cut, I'm scared of having a repeat of last time, when I did it in January. My Social Worker will hopefully know something before my Friday appt with the NP. Really needing that appt, so I can update NP on things, and discuss a few medical stuff.

 

Hello, BenzoLottie.  Losing a support service unexpectedly is devastating.  I hope your social worker finds a replacement soon.  In the interim, if I were in your shoes, I would hold off on making another reduction in dose at least until you can talk to your NP.

 

I agree with Libertas BL.  That will be a very anxious time for you, so give yourself a break.  We will be here if you need to talk or just vent.  LY 

[Guest [bl...]]

Thanks Mary!!! I feel ok, not 100% but ok. I work full time and can handle that but do not feel like myself if that makes sense. I do have anxiety and it is BAD some days, other days are easier and I get the odd day where I don’t have a care in the world and feel like my old self. I have my Valium in liquid (1mg/1ml ratio) so can taper lower if need be.

 

If you are on liquid and want to taper slower, I am all for it.  I think slowly walking of this last .25 is great.  Really gives your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to be ready to walk off.  Keep us posted. 

 

Thanks Mary! And thanks everyone for being so nice to the new gal. I do appreciate it. I went down to 0.24 last night and feel ok this morning. I figure I’ll just taper this down slowly. I’ve been on this dose so long I feel no desperate need to rush. I have a really supportive doctor which I guess when dealing with this, is a blessing. Thank you!

[[ho...]]

Hi Hoops88-

 

I feel your pain....A tough spot for sure.  I am saying only what I would do and I am sure others will chime in as well and maybe you have found help already or answers in other threads by now.  Personally I would not updose at 11 days in.  My doctor says for the “average” person it takes about a full 2 weeks for Valium to leave the system, so you are almost at that 2 week mark.....then you could just hold like your previous hold and things hopefully would start to stabilize for you.

 

Moving forward have you thought about reducing your % for step downs? Or possibly micro tapering?  I just had to come to these decisions myself.  I am now going to micro taper, and try and continue with my 10% @ 2 weeks, but I may need to lower the % or do longer holds.  I am now going with the “symptom based” taper.  It’s just been pretty brutal and something had to change.

 

I hope things start to get better soon.  You will make the right decision for your situation.....cheering you on 

 

**Blessthismess**-

 

Thank you for the compound pharmacy info.  That was helpful.  Good for you on your step down...slow and steady 

 

Marie