Fibromyalgia? Really?...I think I'm done with this...

[[am...]]

I'm losing all hope of ever being benzo free.

 

For weeks now I have persistent fibro flare ups which I know for a fact are benzo symptoms getting worse. I've been tapering fine until now... My shoulders and back are so messed up...

 

I don't know but I think it's bullshit - I no longer see what's the point of this whole thing...

I can't enjoy life at all. I can't do yoga or sit and meditation to help the recovery. And for me yoga and meditation WAS recovery... I can't sit still for longer than 5 minutes because it hurts as hell and I just start crying...

 

I'm angry all day and hate everything and everybody except my cat. Humidity outside chokes me and I sit in the house all day miserable. There are absolutely no good movies anymore and I'm getting sick of video games. I have no money, no friends and absolutely no energy to go and get some. And on top of that the pain is getting so much worse....

 

Maybe going through WD is just not worth it? My psych doesn't understand why I wouldn't take a small dose like I did all this time and stop this suffering. What if she is right?... Some drugs you just have to stay on?... Anyway I just wanted to vent.

 

Do the fobro symptoms ever resolve?...  How long?...

 

What do you guys get positive energy from? If you do...

 

Thanks

[[Be...]]

Do they treat fibro with benzos? I didn't know that...

 

Judging from the entire post I'd say you're going thru major w/d....

 

I know you're not in the mood for the usual,"it will pass"....

 

Sorry

 

ps. I don't have fibro, but I got all the rest of your symptoms!

[[ra...]]

Amber,

 

I get my positive energy from unlikely sources, my pessimism and logic, and being with people about whom I care.  When I am miserable, I simply remind myself that I was in tolerance, there is no amount of benzo that could alleviate my pain.  Everyone reaches tolerance eventually.  These facts leave me no choice but to just keep going.  To go back on benzos would be lunacy for me.  I would give my left you know what to be able to take benzos for sleep; and sleep, really sleep, for the first time since I reached tolerance.

 

But it is impossible, so I let it go.  I pessimistically think "this sucks, but what choice do I have," then I think, "well since I have no choice, I am going to make the best of it," and I do.

 

I am confident I will be well, and so will the vast majority of those who stay clean, but also that I have to deal with the issues that benzos were "treating" another way.

 

Hang in there.  You are still tapering.  Symptoms pass, and probably pass more quickly when you stay distracted.

 

Do you have a job? That can be a great distraction, and also a good source of money :-)

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

[[am...]]

Hi benzie and ramcon

 

Thanks for replying. I don't even know why I'm posting anything - everyone here is suffering...

 

Sorry I didn't clarify this: I was nearly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia just a few months ago based on my symptoms. I personally don't think it's anything but withdrawal pain but doctors (well you know:)) disagree... I only developed this pain pretty early into the taper and never had anything like this before...

 

Emotional symptoms are easier for me because I can separate what's WD and what's me and I just accept my angry sociopath self as a temporary state. Occasionally I just post whatever is bothering me at the moment somewhere on the social networks and frustration dissipates 

 

But the physical side of WD is getting to me. I'm afraid I'm causing damage to the physical body being so tense and inactive. It's falling apart on me and fast... I'm only 32 years old...

 

I don't know I'll try to go back to 0.5 mg or so and try again a few months later. Maybe I'll have better luck then...

 

Thanks guys

I wish you all the best

[[Be...]]

I have a friend with the fibro, she tried to tell me she thought I had it last year, but really I was in tolerance withdrawals and didnt realize it until I found this site and started tapering....as I get closer to being off those symptoms have subsided..

[[An...]]

I had horrible forearm and chest pain. It still comes and goes but nothing like 8 months ago. I had it tonight but it onlykasted 20 mins. U can read about it in my progress log .

[[mr...]]

When my mom tapered off of lorazepam, it was absolutely horrible.

She thought she had all kinds of diseases, arthritis, disc problems, etc.

She refused to believe it was w/d.

This is why she reinstated once she was able to drive again.

 

This time around, she knows its w/d but the valium cross over made a huge difference in the management of her symptoms.

Yes, she did suffer all the way down, but we haven't had to go to the ER like her first withdrawal.

 

 

[[gi...]]

I was diagnosed with fybro and lupus 12 yrs ago MOL. Do  fybro sx every go away?  Fybro is a chronic fatigue disorder. I was given klonopin 11 + years ago by my rhumy so that I would get restful sleep. That's what rheumatologist are trained to do, manage your meds.  That's Bull shit.

You should pm me, there's really too much to type, although I will.

        I could give you lots of sources on how to treat fybro and through my experience and many others. Benzos just treat the sx and will leave you in a worse way, with more pain with a longer healing time. 

      Going off benzos has been worse than my sx from fybro and lupus together x 100 and I'm not exaggerating.

        At some point you will have to go off or go up in MGs or switch to some other Rx.

 

 

[[fr...]]

I have pre-existing fibro and CFS. Withdrawal has been much worse. I have no problem with people staying on benzos if they think they have no choice but it seems to me that once a person starts a taper there is no going back to they way they were even with benzos.

 

Benzos act as a muscle relaxant so when you go off them the muscles tighten up and you get pain. If you didn't have it before it will go away when you get through the withdrawal process. For me, it will probably never go away completely. Sorry you are so miserable, I am right there with you.

[[sp...]]

 

She may be right. My guess is that we never hear from the members and guests who decide the game is not worth the candle. We aren't going to hear from them because the belief that getting off at all costs is the bible here. It is better to go quietly than to risk the wrath of the true believers.

 

Nathan, you're simultaneously accusing some people of being "true believers" while also making statements of opinion that inherently can't be quantified. Do you not see an incongruity in that?

I also do not understand the wisdom of not taking a small dose to stop the suffering - not in all cases. In spite of the reasons given for not staying on a small dose, the game may not be worth the candle for everyone. True believers will never understand that. I don't buy that there is no choice, at least not for everybody. It might be rational for some to stay on a small dose. What are we willing to do to get off at all cost? Lose our job? Lose our spouse? Lose our home? Lose our peace of mind and sanity?[/qupte]

If someone doesn't want to get off benzos, that's indeed their concern. You seem to be implying there's some kind of overarching conspiracy or uniformity of thought here, and there isn't -- it's just a collection of people with different opinions. On controversial issues like updosing and reinstatement, and even long term use, you'll find all kinds of different opinions. If someone is convinced that benzos are bad for them and they do want to be off them come hell or high water, how is that blind faith?

[[gi...]]

 

She may be right. My guess is that we never hear from the members and guests who decide the game is not worth the candle. We aren't going to hear from them because the belief that getting off at all costs is the bible here. It is better to go quietly than to risk the wrath of the true believers.

 

 

Nathan, you're simultaneously accusing some people of being "true believers" while also making statements of opinion that inherently can't be quantified. Do you not see an incongruity in that.

         

                            ****************************** WELL PUT************************

 

 

 

I also do not understand the wisdom of not taking a small dose to stop the suffering - not in all cases. In spite of the reasons given for not staying on a small dose, the game may not be worth the candle for everyone. True believers will never understand that. I don't buy that there is no choice, at least not for everybody. It might be rational for some to stay on a small dose. What are we willing to do to get off at all cost? Lose our job? Lose our spouse? Lose our home? Lose our peace of mind and sanity?[/qupte]

 

 

 

If someone doesn't want to get off benzos, that's indeed their concern. You seem to be implying there's some kind of overarching conspiracy or uniformity of thought here, and there isn't -- it's just a collection of people with different opinions. On controversial issues like updosing and reinstatement, and even long term use, you'll find all kinds of different opinions. If someone is convinced that benzos are bad for them and they do want to be off them come hell or high water, how is that blind faith?

I could have stayed on klonopin. I wasn't given k for anxiety.  I was give k for sleep. My fatigue never got better til I went off after 10 years. It may have helped with muscle pain but I think there are other ways to treat muscle pain and fatigue other then benzos. K relaxes you so much it causes the same sx you take it for.

    Benzo we're never meant to be given for (just) muscle pain or sleep unless you had other problems also.  If you talk to most sleep doctors, l believe they would not recommend benzos for just restfull sleep anymore, that's old school. They will tell you it's too addictive and there's other ways to treat the muscle pain caused from (just) lack of sleep and the  fatigue caused from lack of restful sleep.

   

[[hu...]]

Maybe going through WD is just not worth it? My psych doesn't understand why I wouldn't take a small dose like I did all this time and stop this suffering. What if she is right?... Some drugs you just have to stay on?...

 

She may be right. My guess is that we never hear from the members and guests who decide the game is not worth the candle. We aren't going to hear from them because the belief that getting off at all costs is the bible here. It is better to go quietly than to risk the wrath of the true believers.

 

I also do not understand the wisdom of not taking a small dose to stop the suffering - not in all cases. In spite of the reasons given for not staying on a small dose, the game may not be worth the candle for everyone. True believers will never understand that. I don't buy that there is no choice, at least not for everybody. It might be rational for some to stay on a small dose. What are we willing to do to get off at all cost? Lose our job? Lose our spouse? Lose our home? Lose our peace of mind and sanity?

 

 

Nathan, Why do you consistently launch into such an antagonistic and combative stance? I don't see anyone else taking that tone.

[[Fo...]]

One word: Tolerance!

 

It gets worse if you prolong this. You don't want to come off when you reach tolerance and the pills turn on you, trust me.

[[na...]]

 

Sorry I didn't clarify this: I was nearly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia just a few months ago based on my symptoms. I personally don't think it's anything but withdrawal pain but doctors (well you know:)) disagree... I only developed this pain pretty early into the taper and never had anything like this before...

 

Emotional symptoms are easier for me because I can separate what's WD and what's me and I just accept my angry sociopath self as a temporary state. Occasionally I just post whatever is bothering me at the moment somewhere on the social networks and frustration dissipates 

 

But the physical side of WD is getting to me. I'm afraid I'm causing damage to the physical body being so tense and inactive. It's falling apart on me and fast...

 

Hi, perhaps you might just have to wait it out before the next cut. This worked for me. I had miscalculated the equivalency and got sick. Well, I did not up the dose, just took baths and wrote and went out as much as I could. Talked myself down. Talked myself up. Took more baths. They really helped ease the physical pain and helped me relax. Time and journaling helped. For me, the angry sociopath and the woman in pain and without yoga went together and were both temporary states. I just held there for a few days before feeling fine and then cutting more. Slowly. I  am doing fine now and back to daily yoga practice. I have a pre-existing fibromyalgia but the yoga takes care of it. And greatly help with any discomfort. So do baths. And keeping my physical energy focused. Looking outside. Going out. Going to a cafe to work at times. Reinforcing the positive. Hang in there. I cannot say anything about your dose but did not have to change mine when i was in pain. i had to readjust the times when I take them. That worked. Take good care. Gentler times ahead.

[[na...]]

Nathan, you're simultaneously accusing some people of being "true believers" while also making statements of opinion that inherently can't be quantified. Do you not see an incongruity in that?

 

No,I see no incongruity. We are all entitled to our opinions. True believers are those who are intolerant of other opinions. I'm not a true believer because i understand that my views are just opinions. Some opinions are more politically correct than others.

 

There is a generally accepted popular opinion on all controversial topics on this forum. People who don't tow the line are not well received. I never said staying on benzos is the best thing for everyone. But when someone suggests it they are shouted down. Advice that goes against the grain is not popular. More than once I kept quiet because I don't want to start a fight. Fighting over opinions is silly because all opinions are equally valid.

 

Sometimes a person writing a post has trouble stating an opinion and it comes across as a hard fact. I don't think there are many hard facts about withdrawal. The OP suggested they might be "done with this." I was giving support to that possibility.

[[na...]]

Nathan, Why do you consistently launch into such an antagonistic and combative stance? I don't see anyone else taking that tone.

 

I really don't think the problem was my "tone." I think my problem was that I expressed an unpopular opinion. I'm sorry you think I was being antagonistic and combative. How is expressing an opinion, even if it is an unpopular opinion, antagonistic and combative?

 

Please read what I said carefully. I think I was supportive of the OP in suggesting that the possibility of "being done with this" might make sense. It was suggested by her doctor who knows a lot more than we do about the situation. We are quick to dismiss the suggestions of medical professionals as being wrong or even intentionally hurtful. Am I really so far out in left field to suggest that a doctor with more information than we have about the situation might be right? Especially when the OP is obviously open to the possibility?

 

I expressed an opinion, did not state it as a fact. Is my opinion wrong just because it is unpopular? Should ideas be shouted down because they are unpopular? Conversations on the forum can be very one sided. There are popular opinions that everyone is expected to have. Anyone who has a different opinion is "antagonistic."

 

It is my opinion that the forum would be of more use to more people if there were true conversations about controversial topics. For example, it is my opinion that the cost of quitting may be too high for certain people. I understand why people who are committed to quit at all costs would not have that opinion.  An atmosphere where that opinion is safe to express might be more supportive of other people than an atmosphere where it is "verboten" to say the king may not have any clothes.

 

I offer this in the spirit of dialogue, not to be antagonistic or combative. Part of the problem could be that some people can't tolerate an opinion that is at odds with their own opinion.

 

It is NOT my opinion that we should all abandon taper and give up. But it may be the right thing to do in some cases. That idea does not threaten me.

[[Ch...]]

I didn't see any antagonism or combativeness in Nathan's post. It seemed reasonable to me ...

Not saying I agree or disagree with his opinions but I am interested in it and appreciate differing points of view.

Thanks Nathan.

[[hu...]]

the belief that getting off at all costs is the bible here. It is better to go quietly than to risk the wrath of the true believers.

 

Nathan,

 

If characterizing the majority of BB posters as unreasoning extremists is not anatagonistic and combative then I must not understand the meaning of the words.

 

In fact, even after that insult to the majority of BB posters ... still, I don't see anyone being "wrathful" towards you!

 

wrath

 

noun: wrath; plural noun: wraths

 

    1. extreme anger (chiefly used for humorous or rhetorical effect)

[[am...]]

Thank you to everyone who replied

 

  1. What unites everyone on BB is the understanding that benzodiazepines are the most destructive type of drug in the world. Way more danderous than meth IMHO. Just be because the majority of sufferers are innocent victims. Meth users chose to play with fire...

 

We all WANT to be benzo free and strive towards that goal but when it doesn't work then opinions start to diverge slightly. Nobody here EVER stated (as far as I know) that benzos are GOOD for you, so we all are on the same page guys. It's just for some people it's easier than for others - we are all different after all... My taper was relatively easy because I could sleep at night, so I guess my time has come...

 

2. Benzos for fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue sufferers?... Wow...

  How can you give somebody the substance that is known to actually cause these in people?...

What my doctor thinks is fibro has started due to the benzo WD and the symptoms are identical.

So if someone already has those symptoms what are doctors thinking prescribing them this crap?...

You guys should start a class action lawsuit... I'm actually thinking about it more and more recently - I'm just so damn tired to deal with the headache...

 

I was given Xanax for anxiety and ended up in psych ward 6 years later. Great job. Thanks a lot.

 

3. Yoga

  The reason why I want to stop the taper is because I can't do yoga.

It is the very foundation of my wellbeing both emotional and physical. It helped me through so much crap in my life that I absolutely believe that yoga/meditation/pranayama is the ONLY way to truly heal your body and mind. So no yoga = no recovery for me.

 

And the power of the mind is astonishing. Never underestimate it.

What is going to heal you is what you BELIEVE is going to heal you.

My personal example of it is getting my Hep C viral load down 60% with yoga and a few targeted supplements. Well and positive thinking of course:)

 

4. Tolerance

In two years I was able to go from 6 mg to almost 0.25 mg which is a fantastic result. It wasn't too painful either until these few cuts. Could it be that the body just can't do it?... It's been working hard resensitizing all those receptor sites but it hit its limit?...

 

What I'm afraid is that because I refuse to listen to what my body is telling me I'll end up with actual chronic condition like Fibromyalgia or CFS and it's going to stay permanently. So far I was convinced that all these symptoms I have like Adrenal Fatigue are a direct result of the drug withdrawal and abuse (in the past) and if I get off of everything the body will go back to normal and healthy. What if it won't?... What if the stress is so severe that the bodily functions start to permanently break down?....

 

Being on a small dose of Xanax might be the lesser evil if it enables me to enjoy life again.

I had similar experience with an ADHD stimulant that I tried to stop but had to resume taking just because my quality of life was so poor while off it.

 

It's such a great ideal I once had to not be dependent on anything, eat healthy, exercise, do yoga, meditate regularly and I thought my health will come back naturally. Alternative medicine looked so promising and inspiring at one point... But it doesn't work...

 

 

Well sorry for rambling thoughts - it's just so hard to organize any cohesive reply...

 

Wish you all the best on whatever path you choose towards healing!

 

And please consider committing to regular meditation practice

 

[[mr...]]

Hi Amber,

I sure understand your frustration because I have been trying to get my mom off of benzo's for over 2 years.

I listened to Baylissa Johns tell her true story on video, but the video is gone.

She said that pre benzo's, she had around 1 seizure per day.

While going thru withdrawal post benzo's, she was having 20+ seizures per day.

She was convinced that her brain would never be the same and that she would end up with brain damage (at least from the loss of oxygen to the brain).

However, she is completely recovered and only has a seizure a couple times per week.

She feels better than she ever has.

The reason she didn't provide all of her symptoms in her book was because it was so tragic that she figured it would discourage people from withdrawing.

 

I understand what she was thinking, but people do need to know what they are headed for, so it doesn't catch them off guard.

Knowing for sure that it is all temporary is a much needed relief.

 

 

 

[[na...]]

What unites everyone on BB is the understanding that benzodiazepines are the most destructive type of drug in the world.

 

My opinion is that is an overstatement. If it were true then the drug would be withdrawn from the market. Use of benzos has its place.

[[mr...]]

My opinion is that is an overstatement. If it were true then the drug would be withdrawn from the market. Use of benzos has its place.

Benzo's were almost banned in the 1980's, but there were too many people prescribed them.

Look at the vioxx fiasco.

 

[[am...]]

Mrtmeo

 

I know it's all temporary and the body will find homeostasis again because it's a universal law for it to always heal itself... I'm just like you said frustrated but all I have to do is to stabilize on whatever dosage is tolerable and be patient.

I was planning to have a baby next year, so I was pushing to get off of benzos as fast as possible, so I can start preparing for this happy event and it just didn't work the way I wanted.

 

Thank you for support and I hope that your mom is feeling better. It's great that you are going through this with her

 

Nathan

 

I agree with you: benzos do have its medical use and perhaps are indispensable in some situations.

 

Let me rephrase it: it's the irresponsible distribution of these drugs what makes them the most dangerous in the world.

 

Meth has some legitimate medical uses as well (narcolepsy) but it's not prescribed to anyone who is tired.... You know what I mean?... There is use for almost any substance - opiates, amphetamines analgesics etc., but it has to be appropriately assessed from the risk/benefit perspective...

 

I know one Jewish lady who was like 90 years old and taking Xanax for panic attacks because she was a concentration camp survivor. It was a life saver for her. But it's different from a 24 year old woman who has anxiety because of her school/job situation and can't sleep. Then it's a life-ruiner...

 

Well IMO benzo use should be legally restricted to clinical settings only and when prescribed it should be limited to a few weeks script. That would solve a lot of problems...

 

Wish you all well

[[na...]]

Well IMO benzo use should be legally restricted to clinical settings only and when prescribed it should be limited to a few weeks script. That would solve a lot of problems...

 

Making benzos harder to prescribe sounds like a great idea to me. I have no idea how to do that though.

[[am...]]

Nathan

 

It can be done I assure you:)

 

I live in South Florida and it's impossible to fill out my Ritalin script virtually anywhere around here. The same goes for Adderall. You know why? I heard that's because it was in competition with cocaine industry. People used to obtain ADHD meds from pharmacies and sell it as coke or use them instead of it. Since Miami was founded on drug money I guess it IS a big deal.

 

So now there are virtually no ADHD meds in Florida (guess that's why folks can't figure out the voting. Lol)

Well it leads me to believe that controlled substances CAN be controlled VERY efficiently if certain interests are involved...

 

 

  It infuriates me personally because I really feel like crap without Ritalin and pharmacists usually give me a dirty look like I'm asking them for crack or something...

'No we don't sell THAT stuff...' - but not once anyone ever said anything about why do I need two benzo scripts. Not a single question or anything.

 

Someone is interested in dispersing benzos as a 'cure for all'. I suspect that's because their regular use produces a myriad of conditions that forever tie people to a pharmacy or a psychiatrist. Breaks people's willpower too...

 

I don't know... I'm a conspiracy theorist, so I can go on forever on a subject like this but doesn't it seem strange that our medical science progressed as far as making artificial limbs that can be controlled by just a thought but we still somehow can't figure out the benzo problem?... It just doesn't make any logical sense to me...

 

Sorry if I am too much...