Waking up from a 7-year coma

[[Se...]]

Incredible, wonderful, helpful post Analog.

Thanks for the detail....this post helped me get to water titration for Ambien and was much smoother than my Xanax dry cutting.

 

I especially liked, "You do heal while you taper.  You have to go slow, and you have to find the balance, of withdrawing enough to make yourself sick, but still able to function on a day-to-day basis." Sometimes I think I have to be totally off to start the healing, but you are right. The healing has started.

 

Best of luck and thanks for coming back and writing an Epic Piece.

 

[[Te...]]

What a story!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to chronicle all that you've been through. I love the detail you put into it, and I'm sure it will help a great many people. 

 

 

[[An...]]

 

....thanks so much Analog...btw...did you have a wave of dizziness and if so,  how long did it hang on?.. n

....wishing you complete healing in the next few months...coop

 

I absolutely had dizziness, occasionally still do.  When I was in the worst of my taper I would get complete vertigo, I would feel like sounds would get extremely quiet and then loud like someone is turning up & down the volume knob in my head.  This would come and go in waves.  Over time symptoms slowly just fade away though.

 

Lately I have been experiencing head/sinus pressure with a short spurt of dizziness, nothing like before though.

 

Thank you for the kind words, Terry38 & SeriouslyDone. 

[[de...]]

Wats up man? Just curious on how you're feeling now and if you think you are 100% yet ?

[Guest [Ke...]]

A brilliant, detailed and informative account, thanks Analog.....I may ask you if I can eventually use it elsewhere to help others and help inform doctors in the UK.

 

 

Im in a very bad place at 25 months off from a cold turkey after countless years of benzo use. There's no going back for me. Somehow I must make it through.

 

It seems as if you have disappeared so hope you're ok.

[[Co...]]

Anolog....Your story continues to be a touch stone to me. It is one of my favorites. I am 3 months past when I last posted to your story. I am feeling more healing at the beginning of 14 months. I still have mild swaYing dizziness but so much better. I feel that the rest of my healing will happen in the 2 year time frame. Your story is a constant encouragement. I hope you are are 100% back to your life...Wishing you well...coop

[[Tw...]]

I'm so thankful and almost amazed this post exists. This is my story to almost a T and I'm coming off the Valium with liquid my 4th time later and it's so hard but I'm doing it. Thank you for this it has rejuvenated me to continue on tapering and not get medically taken off the benzos, which I've been battling. I can't wait for my life to come back to me and put this all behind me. Thanks again!

[[El...]]

Amazing story, I now really really understand that I've been in tolerance for a long time.

Thank you so much for this enlightening journey of yours and I wish you all the best in your new life

[[se...]]

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you going to soooo much trouble and painstaking effort to write this post. I'm a little over two years since I jumped. (With a three month way too fast dry taper from Klonopin) I was on the k every day (About .5 then tapered to half that) for about two years before that, with occasional use for sleep for really...maybe 10 years before that? Off an on...This stuff hypnotizes you in so many ways so it's hard for me to say. I had finally thought that most of my symptoms are from something else. I'm 63 so it's perhaps from post-menopause. I was just thinking (and I occasionally still do think this) That the symptoms due to K are mostly over, and it's something else. Or if there are still symptoms from K -- that they are here to stay, it's just damage. I kind of quit thinking that I would have the really great success story that I read about here from time to time (I don't mean to scare people...honestly. But do we all get 100% better? I don't think so) Or there would be hundreds of success stories on here...And yes, I do agree that not all the people who have healed to 100% bother to write their success story, but even factoring them in...There are relatively few success stories here as a percentage of all the people who are struggling. Maybe some of them go back to the pills, I certainly hope not for their sakes. So if I could get just 50% better --- I WOULD TAKE IT AND BE SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL! And I am grateful that I have come this far. I no longer am as crazy as I was that first year. I can sleep 50% better, not much. And I realize it's easier to gauge how bad things still are...then gauge our improvements. We have all been struggling for so damn long because this is probably the most difficult thing any of us have ever had to deal with, let's face it. But I figure? It's no use always feeling sorry for myself, so I just try to deal with what I can do and not think too much about what I can't do -- but it's hard.

 

Well, your story reminded me to not lose hope. That maybe I will get better than I am now. My fatigue is what is so challenging. Fatigue and weakness. I can only hold a half a bag of groceries. I can only walk 1 or two blocks (I have very little stamina) and that's been this way for a long time now. I had almost given up that this would change for the better, that I'm going to get about as good as I'm going to get. (And that's better than some) But your story reminded me that there is still hope. Thank the heavens for  you and your thoughtfulness. That you felt compelled to write out something as long and as detailed as this post. People say that they don't want to go into too much detail because we have all read it before. I beg to differ. It's in the details that I will sometimes find the gold. Something that I, in particular, can relate to. Generalized posts are just that. (Though I'm grateful for those, as well) Please, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart...You gave me back some hope that perhaps...I will get better. Thanks to this board and everyone who is helping here.

[[ma...]]

Thank you so much  Have a good life

[[Su...]]

This is an excellent story that I can relate to.. It was high doses of valium up and down for 7 years ..Taper for 2 years  Benzo free 10 days.  This story  could be made into an excellent movie.  In the meantime thanks a million for the share.  Keep on with the music!

[[Se...]]

You rock man. I love your story. Thanks for sharing  Inspiring. Let's never take this crap again. We don't need them. Change how you think and react and you will never need a thing.

 

Crazy suffering we endure. I'm so glad you felt better during your taper omg you gave me so much hope. Thank you. Thank you 💗💗💗😘

[[no...]]

*bump*

[[He...]]

thank you so much for your story 

[[An...]]

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays BBs!!!

 

I was just perusing the internet and one of my searches randomly brought me here.

 

So I logged in and wanted to just say I hope everyone is doing well.

 

Keep Going!!!

 

[[La...]]

Great, detailed Success Story! Congratulations, and thanks for posting it! It's wonderful to see that you healed despite the numerous challenges you faced. Your spirit is obviously strong. 

 

All the best to you for 2018!

[[Ki...]]

My daughter took Klonopin through 4 years of high school to help with sleep/anxiety from adderall. Her dose was 1 mg per day . Weekends she didn’t take . Then the summer before college decided to stop and use as needed with her last script lasting through that summer and fall and never getting another One. When I do hear from her there was anger and a lot of rebellion that came out of no where. After reading your story I wonder if any of this random behavior is coming from this and she has become very distant ..

[[Ca...]]

Thank you for your story - you're truly a brave person. I have just started getting off black market Valium...I have only been on it for about half a year. I hope I can do this.

[[ri...]]

Hey can you give us an update? Thank you for sharing your story.

[[de...]]

Thank you so very much for sharing your story of recovery.  Inspiring and encouraging. 

 

I think you are brave and courageous and hope I can demonstrate same in myself as I embark on my journey. 

 

I am in tolerance withdrawal as a result of reinstating 2mg Valium after cold jump a bit over two weeks ago.

 

I am still not not stabilised and am loathe to updose so maybe beginning my tiny taper NOW is the only way forward.

 

Was gratified to read your description of feeling water on your body.  I have felt that too and was embarrassed to admit because it seemed so weird, even innocuous.  It didn't hurt or anything but no one likes to feel things that aren't there in reality. 

 

I can relate to all of your other symptoms. 

 

I thank you and wish you continued healing and a great creative life. 

 

Kind regards

Dee

 

 

[[bo...]]

wow.. quite a journey! Thank you for sharing. I hope to get there someday.

[[An...]]

My daughter took Klonopin through 4 years of high school to help with sleep/anxiety from adderall. Her dose was 1 mg per day . Weekends she didn’t take . Then the summer before college decided to stop and use as needed with her last script lasting through that summer and fall and never getting another One. When I do hear from her there was anger and a lot of rebellion that came out of no where. After reading your story I wonder if any of this random behavior is coming from this and she has become very distant ..

 

It is hard to say for sure, sometimes the things you are describing are just part of a person finding themselves and figuring out life.

 

But I would say at any rate the Klonopin and/or withdrawal does not help.

 

I would advise to try to let her know that you respect her space and what she is going through. That you are there for her when she is ready. And try to get her some of the information found here and @ the Ashton Manual. She may just be wrestling with not knowing what's going on, sometimes getting that awareness is enough to help her get to the other side.

 

I wish you/her luck!

[[An...]]

Thank you for your story - you're truly a brave person. I have just started getting off black market Valium...I have only been on it for about half a year. I hope I can do this.

 

It won't be easy. But the good news for you, is that valium is not the super benzo that some of the newer ones are. You may have a hard road ahead, but be encouraged that it may not be as bad as it could.

 

Stay plugged into Benzo Buddies. Commit to getting to the other side of this junk.

[[An...]]

Hey can you give us an update? Thank you for sharing your story.

 

I wouldn't even know where to start with a thorough update. Interestingly enough, I've had a wild ride the past few years, drinking a lot because I could, being sober for a year because drinking all the time wasn't a good idea. And my current struggle is getting my testosterone/hormone levels right. It seems that my body has decided to quit making testosterone and estrogen over the past year. It would be interesting to see if that is related to the benzo withdrawal experience or if it is just more a combination of getting older plus the hell I've put my body through the past 10 years.

[[An...]]

Thank you so very much for sharing your story of recovery.  Inspiring and encouraging. 

 

I think you are brave and courageous and hope I can demonstrate same in myself as I embark on my journey. 

 

I am in tolerance withdrawal as a result of reinstating 2mg Valium after cold jump a bit over two weeks ago.

 

I am still not not stabilised and am loathe to updose so maybe beginning my tiny taper NOW is the only way forward.

 

Was gratified to read your description of feeling water on your body.  I have felt that too and was embarrassed to admit because it seemed so weird, even innocuous.  It didn't hurt or anything but no one likes to feel things that aren't there in reality. 

 

I can relate to all of your other symptoms. 

 

I thank you and wish you continued healing and a great creative life. 

 

Kind regards

Dee

 

 

I am glad you are encouraged. I am learning more and more about the catharsis of sharing stories and experienced, it is one of the most advanced and helpful things we have done as humans as long as we have existed.

 

Be graceful to yourself, push yourself to heal, if you have yet to stabilize, you may be correct that you are past that point and should prob march forward. Go slow, it's a very personal balance to find, but I would urge you to error on the side of moving forward with taper. It's going to suck either way, but we are trying to get to the other side. You'll get there!