Rough day

[[In...]]

Oh no, sorry you were having one of those "going to the hospital" episodes. I get brief minutes all the time still where I think about it, but the longer stretches that last for hours feeling as if I should go are less. Glad you were able to make it through and found some sweet relief in the morning! You are doing all the right things man. I should try that luminosity site sometime. Today I'm going to attempt some work on the computer, that will be challenging enough. Maybe I'll get a break on the fog and DR today.

 

Thanks for checking in. I was starting to wonder if you were ok. Sounds like you are surviving at least, which is the most important part. 

[[Sv...]]

Thanks Daze. Ps I'm super sarcastic so when I'm suggesting something is "fun", it's anything but.

 

I'm just coming back from weekly group counselling, and on my way home was thinking that if I didn't have the head pressure right now, I'd be darn near 100%. Just a nice wave of euphoria!

 

Sending you some positive windows!

[[In...]]

Thanks Daze. Ps I'm super sarcastic so when I'm suggesting something is "fun", it's anything but.

 

I'm just coming back from weekly group counselling, and on my way home was thinking that if I didn't have the head pressure right now, I'd be darn near 100%. Just a nice wave of euphoria!

 

Sending you some positive windows!

 

How was the counseling session? What do you all talk about in those if you don't mind sharing. Wow, almost a 100% window! You and Tex have got it good this week    Today it seems I've traded a level or two lower DR so still fairly heavy, in exchange for a return of the physical anxiety that sits with an unsettling feeling in the chest that is like breathing adrenaline or cold air. It's easier to cope when there are a bunch of moderate to heavy symptoms at once instead of one overpowering thing. Take care, hope that window keeps on going 

[[In...]]

Does anyone ever get a surge or a rush feeling in their head/brain? It lasts for a few seconds and feels like I'm about to fall over out of my chair it's so disorienting. Than after the surge flashes through, my brain is left in a different state. Feels like something changed over to a different type of confused state. It's not necessarily bad, just instantly a different feeling with seconds..... 

[[Sv...]]

Yes Daze I get those surges. They usually come with head pressure and a jolt too. Surges are very common as a precursor to a panic attack.

 

Counselling was ok. I've been seeing this psychologist for years to help with my underlying condition. We didn't do much today. I was asking for more help, and his comment was keep doing what you're doing. There isn't much more!

 

I have a complex underlying condition with anxiety, depression and low self esteem. I practise gratitude, mindfulness and have taken countless courses and read many books.

 

In short, I need to work on my issues. I'm not sure how beyond what I'm doing. Time will heal the benzo withdrawal. I will likely need an AD moving forward in my life. I hope not, but u never know. I'd like to have all meds out of my system. My anhedonia has been tough throughout life.

 

If u have any cures, I'm all ears.

 

I'm still feeling better today than I have in the past week. That's for sure.

 

Tomorrow will be a good day for you. I can tell!

[[In...]]

Yes Daze I get those surges. They usually come with head pressure and a jolt too. Surges are very common as a precursor to a panic attack.

 

Counselling was ok. I've been seeing this psychologist for years to help with my underlying condition. We didn't do much today. I was asking for more help, and his comment was keep doing what you're doing. There isn't much more!

 

I have a complex underlying condition with anxiety, depression and low self esteem. I practise gratitude, mindfulness and have taken countless courses and read many books.

 

In short, I need to work on my issues. I'm not sure how beyond what I'm doing. Time will heal the benzo withdrawal. I will likely need an AD moving forward in my life. I hope not, but u never know. I'd like to have all meds out of my system. My anhedonia has been tough throughout life.

 

If u have any cures, I'm all ears.

 

I'm still feeling better today than I have in the past week. That's for sure.

 

Tomorrow will be a good day for you. I can tell!

 

Thanks for sharing that Svenhoak! Sounds like you have been and will continue to work very hard to get yourself in a great mental state of mind. It should continue to pay increasing rewards as the months roll by. Wave is still here, anxiety has definitely clicked up several notches. Was able to kind of enjoy watching football last night through the restless anxiety and so far today is a little better than yesterday. Gonna be lots of walking to try and burn this anxiety away. Hope you window is still open today! 

[[Sv...]]

Thanks for your note Daze. Well I may have some good news for ya. You've often mentioned that you thought that the waves and windows hit me a couple days before you.

 

Well if that's the case you have some good times coming!  There are times today that I've felt 80% or higher. I can still feel the lingering head pressure but it's much less and much different.

 

I hope this continues to move in this direction because it feels really great. I'm still anxious, but I'm working on that. It feels pretty darn good though!

 

I hope the window is approaching u too!

[[Mc...]]

Innadaze I hope that was the Seahawks you enjoyed last night. I know I did:)

[[In...]]

Another great day for Svenhoak? Wow, things are looking up for you! I don't know what I'd do feeling 80% healed. What are you doing with this time? Still grinding along here in this wave, but seems to be easing up a touch. Still not to the point I can do a whole lot, little work from home that's about it. Keep on going for day #3 of your window 

 

Innadaze I hope that was the Seahawks you enjoyed last night. I know I did:)

 

Yes I did my best to enjoy that game 

[[Sv...]]

Well the DR hit pretty hard again tonight, but it was a pretty good day for the most part. I push myself very hard on the good days, and as such am wiped out and anxious by the end of the day. Despite being back in DR I'm feeling quite positive right now. Still have the deep existential thoughts, but that's how it goes.

 

The changes in this wave continue to be dramatic and abrupt.

 

Tomorrow is another day!

 

Wishing you all a fantastic window!

[[Sv...]]

Well the wave is back today with incredible intensity.....fak........

 

It's gonna pass though, just like all others. It was a nice break in the past few days though!

[[In...]]

Bummer Svenhoak. It just won't let up for you all the way 

 

Maybe you'll get into a pattern of couple good days, couple bad. I've read about people getting to that stage of healing.

 

I'm still sitting here not knowing how things will feel from hour to hour. Some more manageable and productive than others. Not as intense as last week thankfully. Just trying to get a little work done and keep the storms away, but feels like it's kicking back up again....  Take care man!

[[Sv...]]

Well I hope this is all moving in the right direction. I have to believe it is!

 

We have another foot of snow up here to shovel. So my "distraction" for the day was predetermined for me by Mother Nature. For all of you in the USA are now feeling the adverse effects of this arctic blast, sorry, but yes it's from us way up north.....

[[In...]]

Well I hope this is all moving in the right direction. I have to believe it is!

 

We have another foot of snow up here to shovel. So my "distraction" for the day was predetermined for me by Mother Nature. For all of you in the USA are now feeling the adverse effects of this arctic blast, sorry, but yes it's from us way up north.....

 

I'm jealous of all the snow you are getting, but after awhile the novelty probably wears off. We might get some in my area over the next week. Kids are very excited to do snowballs and some sledding. Thanks for the cold air! My thermostat broke so relying on just the wood stove for heat. Too lazy to light a fire today so sitting at 58 degrees in the house with a sweater on. Might head out to the store and pick up a new one but this DR keeps kicking up so high I don't know if I'm up for it. Will probably push through and do it anyhow, good to get out of the house again today. Take care!