Drowsiness and drugged feeling the lower I get

[[an...]]

Here's something interesting (not really - it's very bizarre and not fun but all a part of this journey):  The lower I get in my dosage, the more drowsy I'm becoming and I feel like I'm very, very "drugged up".  It's very hard to keep my eyes open.  It's not the kind of "good" drowsy you get when you're really sleepy and you have that peaceful feeling about it.  It's very bizarre because it feels like I'm on MORE of something when, in fact, I'm on less and less.  I never experienced this feeling while I was on more Klonopin.  I have actually heard of someone else experiencing this same phenomena.  I keep a detailed log book of what I take and the feelings I have and physical symptoms.  Nothing else has changed aside from continuing to taper the Klonopin.  I am now on .23mg and usually come off at .03mg per week.  It is very disconcerting at this point because I hope it doesn't get worse.  I have to drive to various locations throughout the day to work and this is not good, in addition to continuing to keep up with what I would think I'd be doing if I were feeling good. 

 

Does anyone else experience this or has anyone else experienced this while tapering?  I'd love to hear from you.

 

Jan

[[Th...]]

I had the same thing, seemed to come on right before it was time for dosing. I would just become exhausted but it would just last an hour or so and then I'd be fine again. It didn't happen every day. I can't really remember when it started or when it got better. 

[[an...]]

Hi Theresa:

 

My drugged up feeling is now all day long in addition to the exhaustion.  Samantha had replied under her blog whenever I mentioned it that she went through it but it did let up.  She made a very good point, too.  She said it might be a very good thing since I haven't slept in so long.  Maybe now my body will start to relax and I'll get some much needed sleep.  It's not the good kind of drowsiness that has a sense of calm with it, and I think that's only because there's still depression and anxiety taking a ride on this journey.  But my body DOES feel like it's changing again and that things are going on inside.  I suspect it's more healing taking place, and if it means temporary, bizarre feelings to get to a place of calm and healing, then so be it.  I don't like it, it stinks, but it should be so worth it when this huge storm passes.

 

Jan

[[an...]]

Theresa:

 

I keep forgetting to ask:  What is the name of your "spoiled snot"?  She/he is so darned cute!

 

Jan

[[Th...]]

I don't like it, it stinks, but it should be so worth it when this huge storm passes.

 

Hoping your storm passes quickly! 

 

My spoiled miniature schnauzer snot is Mitzi! She's 10 years old already but still my pup!! 

[[ho...]]

Here's something interesting (not really - it's very bizarre and not fun but all a part of this journey):  The lower I get in my dosage, the more drowsy I'm becoming and I feel like I'm very, very "drugged up".  It's very hard to keep my eyes open.  It's not the kind of "good" drowsy you get when you're really sleepy and you have that peaceful feeling about it.  It's very bizarre because it feels like I'm on MORE of something when, in fact, I'm on less and less.  I never experienced this feeling while I was on more Klonopin.  I have actually heard of someone else experiencing this same phenomena.  I keep a detailed log book of what I take and the feelings I have and physical symptoms.  Nothing else has changed aside from continuing to taper the Klonopin.  I am now on .23mg and usually come off at .03mg per week.  It is very disconcerting at this point because I hope it doesn't get worse.  I have to drive to various locations throughout the day to work and this is not good, in addition to continuing to keep up with what I would think I'd be doing if I were feeling good. 

 

Does anyone else experience this or has anyone else experienced this while tapering?  I'd love to hear from you.

 

Jan

 

Hey Jan!  I definitely experienced extreme drowsiness/fatigue like a "drugged up" feeling at the end of my taper.  I think it lasted about 2 weeks for me - I was just dragging all day and couldn't wait to get home from work to climb back into bed.  Since my job gives me access to the entire building I work in, I would sneak into one of the conference rooms at lunchtime and nap in the chair.  I think that was around the time I started posting here.  I finally wound up drinking some caffeine to help me get through the day, and instead of waking me up, it just made me feel crazy!!  I would definitely NOT recommend doing that 

 

Getting up from my desk every now and then and moving around a bit helped me the most.  Well that, and time.  I tried pushing myself to take a walk one night when I was feeling very drained, but it didn't help much - I just felt dizzy, like I could collapse.  I think it's best just to wait it out.

 

I do agree that it wasn't a peaceful feeling - I couldn't keep my eyes open either!  That's when I started searching on the BB site to see if there were others like me; I knew from my experience with Xanax that withdrawals could cause insomnia, so I was thrown for a loop when all I wanted to do while tapering Klonopin was sleep!  I'm sure it will pass for you like it did for me         

[[an...]]

Thanks Hopeseeker.  It's good to know this is not something that is an oddity.  Sure seems like it is the rule and not the exception.  And I'm "hoping" that one day, when this is over and I'm healed, that I can change my name to something that is indicative of who I am and how I feel besides 'Anxgirl'.  Right now that pretty much speaks volumes for what I'm going through and how I'm feeling.

 

Jan

[[sa...]]

 

Jan

How r u today? I had an awful weekend. Just check my posts. But.. This too shall pass. Right?

[[an...]]

Hi Sam:

 

I'm so sorry you had a bad weekend.  I guess it's another one of those speed bumps.  I have quite a few of them which has served to let me know that I can't rush anything when it comes to this.

 

I briefly took a look at your posts before I went out on the job and knew you had a bit of a rough time.  You know the little guy that jumps for joy -  - ?  Sometimes I wish I could put one of those in my posts only SHE's got a frown and is jumping up and down 'cause she's so mad and tired and whatever and just needs to vent all over the place.  Sound familiar?

 

You are right in that this too shall pass, but WOW!  Does it feel like forever.  I have been going through that drowsy, drugged up feeling with the accompanying depression and anxiety, but am constantly encouraged by everyone here in the forum.  I also seem to be going through a weird sensation relative to time.  I could have been out with a friend just a day or 2 ago, but it feels like a week or 2 have gone by and that I haven't seen them in forever.  It's very bizarre.  My perceptions are really off.

 

I was reading someone else's post this AM, can't remember who right off the bat, and I felt so bad for them because they were suffering so much.  It sent shivers down my spine because, as horrible as I think I'm feeling, I realize there have been improvements overall and I WAS that person just a year ago.  My heart really goes out to anyone who's in the absolute icy grips of the effects of the meds and the w/d. 

 

I do hope you are feeling much, much better today and experience a very big window of relief and that it stays open.  You are so very close now; you have come such a long way since beginning here in BB.  What a celebration it will be when you are done!  And I know you're feeling scared re: coming off the Seroquel, but you have experience under your belt now and have some idea of what to expect.  This experience has made your stronger and more determined and I know you will conquer coming off of that, too!

 

Jan

 

 

[[sa...]]

 

Hi jan

Thanks for checking in. I am feeling much better today. I decided to cut my dose of seroquel a bit last night and what do you know??? My head is so much clearer today! I think I might be onto something here. Listening to my body is key and it is certainly crying out for no more drugs! Check my blog I did an update there. We are both close. Glad to have your support. Take your time you are doing this!!!

[[ho...]]

I also seem to be going through a weird sensation relative to time.  I could have been out with a friend just a day or 2 ago, but it feels like a week or 2 have gone by and that I haven't seen them in forever.  It's very bizarre.  My perceptions are really off.

 

Hey Jan!  This is EXACTLY what I've been going through, and for quite some time - even before I started tapering!  I actually made a post about perception on my blog last week - mine has been way out of whack, but it's slowly getting better. 

 

Surprisingly, there was one funny thing I found with my sense of time being thrown off - I seemed to have finished my taper in the blink of an eye!  Now I know that it wasn't that simple during the taper, but once it was over, I couldn't believe it was done!!    Hopefully you'll experience some perceptual distortions in your favor too 

 

One last thing - I know I read a post by you somewhere that mentioned you were still working; that is such a huge accomplishment, and it wasn't until I posted here that I realized it myself.  For some reason we're always the last to see the progress in ourselves - from what I've read, I think you're doing great 

[[an...]]

Boy - I wish I could see the progress and better yet, feel it.  I do know that working is a huge accomlishment, but it is very difficult.  I think it would be much more difficult going through this just staying at home, though, as that's what happened to me 2 years ago.  I couldn't function at all and basically had a nervous break-down.  To stay at home now, I'd really have a rough time because I feel so alone all the time.  Being around people helps a lot.

 

When it comes to my taper, the time thing is just the opposite.  It feels like an eternity, but I've learned that when I go at a pace other than what my body is dictating, I pay for it.  I'd love to be able to titrate at 1% every day or other day, but that's even too fast for me.  Oh well - I still should be done by mid-September, and once it's over, it will have been 6 months that I tapered.  This is soooo much better than any other time I came off of meds.  It was always too fast and I've suffered protracted w/d for a very long time now. 

 

I'm so glad to see you are benzo free!  :yippee:  Way to go!

 

Jan

[[ho...]]

Jan -

 

I am AMAZED that you have gone through this process more than once!!  You are one strong girl, that's for sure!!!  I found myself wallowing in self-pity when I decided to begin tapering b/c I had already kicked drugs and alcohol, and couldn't believe I found myself in addiction again from a legal drug prescribed by my doctor!!  It felt like an awful nightmare.  But I'm done now and I know I'm healing.  Today was rough, but I had 3 previous good days.  The ratio is turning in my favor, and I know it will for you too.  I absolutely believe that this time you'll kick the benzos for good; you've been so patient with your slow taper - I know you will be rewarded in the end 

[[Pa...]]

Boy - I wish I could see the progress and better yet, feel it.  I do know that working is a huge accomlishment, but it is very difficult.  I think it would be much more difficult going through this just staying at home, though, as that's what happened to me 2 years ago.  I couldn't function at all and basically had a nervous break-down.  To stay at home now, I'd really have a rough time because I feel so alone all the time.  Being around people helps a lot.

 

When it comes to my taper, the time thing is just the opposite.  It feels like an eternity, but I've learned that when I go at a pace other than what my body is dictating, I pay for it.  I'd love to be able to titrate at 1% every day or other day, but that's even too fast for me.  Oh well - I still should be done by mid-September, and once it's over, it will have been 6 months that I tapered.  This is soooo much better than any other time I came off of meds.  It was always too fast and I've suffered protracted w/d for a very long time now. 

 

I'm so glad to see you are benzo free!  :yippee:  Way to go!

 

Jan

 

Despite the slow progress Jan, you're just oozing in positive thoughts.  A lot of people would feel resentful they had to work during their taper, but you're grateful for it!  Others would feel that 6 months is too long to be rid of the drugs, but you know your body well enough to know it works for you. 

 

I just see and feel good things about you Jan, keep up the good work!

 

Pam

[[an...]]

Oh my!  I'm so glad you are seeing things in me, Pam - seeing things and feelings good things about me!  I truly believe that when we look in the mirror, we do not see ourselves accurately.  That's why it's so important to stay connected with the people in our lives - they are our mirrors and reflect the real "us".  I am not seeing the positive but am so glad you can and thankful for your telling me so.  I will cling to those words for sure.

 

I hope you are doing well.  I am now down to .18mg and, if all goes well (relatively speaking), I hope to be done in 5 to 6 weeks. 

 

Jan

[[Pa...]]

.18 milligrams, that's great!  You're getting so close to the end, I'm happy for you. 

 

By the way, I think you can trust who you see in the mirror.  You have a good heart, you're caring and kind, that I hope is obvious to you.

[[an...]]

Aw Pam!  You're so kind yourself, and I really appreciate those kind words!  See what I mean.....  you were that mirror for me.  Let me tell you, those things are not obvious to me because of the drug haze and phobias and insecurities that are raging right now. Maybe one day they will be.

 

Thanks for being such an encourager.  That's a great gift to possess.

 

Jan

[[...]]

Dear Jan:

 

I was intensely sleepy for 6-8 months.  I went to bed right after dinner every night.  The only way my spouse got any time with me was to read next to me while I slept and ocasionally I would wake up and mutter something friendly (or not depending on how wd was going).  For me, it was great since being asleep was the only break I got for a long time.

 

ntw

[[an...]]

Hi ntw:

 

Well, the intense drowsiness stage seems to have eased up considerably.  It still amazes me that, even with all of that drowsiness, I STILL couldn't get a good night's sleep.  Some nights were a bit better, but over all not like I would have thought.  Oh well - have to "roll with" it.  I am getting so close now; I'm down to .15mg but still trying not to rush it or take it too slow.  I don't want to be this close and do something ridiculous now.

 

How are you feeling being a year plus off of the benzo?  I hope much, much better.

 

Jan

[[la...]]

You just have no clue how happy it makes me to see you making so much progress!   

 

I know you still feel like you're not getting anywhere fast, but I totally agree 100% with Pam!  I've watched you all the way, and sometimes I would just ache for you watching you suffer.  I do have to tell you I see an improvement, and I pray for you that once you're off it only gets better and better!   

 

No matter how often I get to post to you, you're always close in thought and prayer. 

 

 

Phyllis 

 

 

[[si...]]

Hey Anxgirl

I am in the same position, down to .125 mg tapering and feel more tired and drugged and thought this would be passing at the lower dosage. Sometimes also get that urge or need to up my dose thinking I will feel better once I up it but so far have fought it off. This road is not easy and thanks to some on this site  :angel: I'm hoping to see the end of it and resume living my life as me not some doped up, depressed and contained being. I know this won't be easy but am determined to stop depending on a yellow pill to live!! 

[[an...]]

Sidney:

 

I'm at the same amount as you right now and would love to just be done with it, but there's no way I'm rushing it.  I've done that 2 previous times and trust me - it's an absolute nightmare.  You are so right in that this road is not easy.  I'm hoping for the same things you are hoping for.  Calling yourself a "doped up, depressed and contained being" is so accurate.  We must be determined - I know you are and I am, too, although the very w/d s/x sucks the life right out of you.  I've been hit hard lately with quite a few deaths - my aunt in June, and then 2 friends within the past week.  That can really wreak havoc with the whole withdrawal process but I haven't increased the dosage through any of it.  I don't try to dull the pain, but it seems withdrawal sure takes that pain/sorrow you would naturally feel and really exacerbate it. 

 

We'll get through this and we will see ourselves returning even though we feel so far away from it now.  Keep pushing on, Sidney, and thanks for stopping by my blog.

 

Jan

[[an...]]

Thanks Phyllis:

 

I'm plodding along and I guess making progress, but right now it sure doesn't feel like it with the sorrow of so many people having died in my life and having to work through everything.  The withdrawal process makes it so much hardeer than it already is.  I'm exhausted and stressed to the max!  I can't wait to be off of this nasty stuff.  I'm down to .12mg and not rushing it but not trying to be too slow about it either.  What a storm!  I just try to hold on to what others tell me - those who have gone before me in this and reiterate that it WILL get better and I WILL return!  That's what I know we have to do when our own hope fades; cling to the words of hope from those around us.  Thanks for your encouragement and hope.  I need it BIG time right now!

 

Jan

[[sa...]]

Jannnnnn

I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Although we are both suffering terribly, I am here for you regardless. You can always PM me anytime. Be strong. You are incredibly brave. We are one day apart I am at .13 today I see you are at .12. I am going to take this down to the end 1 ml a day and will be done in 13 ways. I actually cant wait. This bandaid needed to be ripped off a while ago and while it may hurt and sting at first it will heal. The body is amazing in its ability to heal. I am looking forward to this day for both of us and even in my darkest hour my bleakest time I know I really know this will happen. Yesterday i imagined myself riding a bucking bronco as the sx were relentless in the morning. I was holding on with all my might and I would not let go. Yet, I didnt fight it I let it just keep bucking! By the afternoon the bull was more like a hmmmm.... well a smaller and less ferocious animal. It was still bucking but not as bad, and I was still holding on. So I think that is what we both must do. Sorry I have been MIA a bit sometimes sx are too much but you know I am always thinking of you. Always.

[[an...]]

Oh Sam:

 

It's so good to here from you.  I've been very concerned about you.  I know the hell you're going through and I wish you didn't have to experience it, but I know you'll make it.  I'm also so sorry about some of the "disputes" that occurred on your blog, especially when you were hurting so badly.  I don't know if you called the number I gave you for a detox facility - I thought about calling them just to see what they had to say.  It may or may not be a good thing for you, but at least there are places available.

 

I understand your need to be MIA.  Sometimes it's all a person can do to get from one minute to the next, let alone try to assemble your thoughts and then type them out.  Keep imagining yourself on that bucking bronco - that's a good illustration.  The s/x rage and want to throw us off, but we are overcomers and will see this through.

 

As for the losses, I know it's a part of life, but so many at once is almost suffocating.  I will try to focus on those who are still with me and be thankful, and try to be there for those who lost a loved one recently.  I have many, many friends who are hurting deeply right now.  You are one such person and I can't wait to celebrate the day you are done with the K.  It will be soon, Sam, and the deep, penetrating healing will be there, too.

 

Jan