Please help!! Lowest ebb

[[Di...]]

All the best to you, Gussy, whatever you decide.

 

I'm so sorry that you are in this situation.

 

[[Be...]]

Well if you can use the opiate as a low dose AD, and still heal from benzos, go for it.....the flip side is of course, will you become addicted to the opiate..

[[Gu...]]

Thats it exactly.

 

Opiate addiction doesn't even hold a candle to benzo addiction though and I just want to be functional.

 

There just doesn't seem to be any way out. My Dr admitted that long term benzo use does permanently damage the brain. There's no definitive evidence yet but a lot of people haven't been able to recover even years later.

 

Why does BB offer false hope? That doesn't help when people discover they've been deceived into thinking that time will heal. Its bullshit. Ask Ray Nimmitz. Just be honest with us.

[[Be...]]

I don't think BB offers false hope, lots if people kick benzos and heal. I don't know if your hometown doc would know more than professor Ashton, she's suppose to be an authority on benzos and she says we all can heal, who's Nimmitz?

 

While I support you in whatever you decide to do, it seems to me by what you've said that you have made your own mind up that you alone will never heal or be ok....without giving it the said time to see.... Can you not see this?

I know you feel hopeless. But can you see that you're refusing to even give the possibility of healing a chance?

I hope if you find relief on the opiate that you will so notice healing as you move along

IT COULD HAPPEN!

 

[[Gu...]]

Ray Nimmitz was prescribed valium for a muscle spasm in the 70s and ended up suing his Dr and winning as benzo's completely ruined his life. He was on valium for 14 years. He's been off benzo's for 10 years now and has not recovered. His life is hell and he's on disability. He was a healthy, robust man and now can't leave his house and needs a carer.

 

His story scares me and its stark reminder of what could happen.

[[Ch...]]

Ray Nimmitz was prescribed valium for a muscle spasm in the 70s and ended up suing his Dr and winning as benzo's completely ruined his life. He was on valium for 14 years. He's been off benzo's for 10 years now and has not recovered. His life is hell and he's on disability. He was a healthy, robust man and now can't leave his house and needs a carer.

 

His story scares me and its stark reminder of what could happen.

 

Hey Gussy,

 

Is that Ray Nimmo? I think he started Benzo Island, my old forum. It was a very good forum.

 

I'm very happy to hear your ultrasound checked out okay. You must be enormously relieved.

 

Chinook

[[Gu...]]

Thanks Chinook. My relief is tempered by apathy which is all pervasive.

 

Yeah Ray Nimmo I mean. I'm terrified at the thought that this may be as good as it gets.

 

Do you really believe we all heal?

 

I've a feeling thats just the party line around here because the truth is too unpalatable and negative. Dr's too once witheld the reality of terminal illness from their patients.

 

Some may heal 100% but some may have done irrevocable damage to their brain and CNS. They are the one's still suffering years after jumping off benzo's. Reinstating may offer them some quality of life.

[[ja...]]

Hey I know how you feel man I'm feeling it right now. I feel so freaking bad dude. I had a day just like this on the 28th too. I can tell you I was completely off at one point for 4 months. After 4 months I was feeling pretty crummy, nothing like now though. I'm trying to quit again now and it is so much harder. I was on 1 mg a day and was pretty functional although still feeling slight withdrawals. My reinstatement was a success, I felt much better, but not as well as I felt  before trying to quit the first time, but in the ballpark. I'm not saying this to encourage you to reinstate, honestly I don't know what the answer is. I don't know if everyone heals or if they do not. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing right now either. Like you I constantly contemplate reinstating. I think we need to find some accurate statistics somewhere, some sort of scientific study to base our decision on. If someone had something like that to contribute it would make things easier.

[[Gu...]]

Thanks Jason. Yeah man its a tough one thats for sure. The reason I haven't reinstated is that it would render the whole year a waste. I basically devoted this year to getting off benzo's and recovering from wd and half of the year was taken up by the taper alone. My plan was wildly optimistic it would appear. My malaise and dysfunctional state has really affected my family this year and it would hurt me to think that it was all in vain. That said I'm hurting them by the way I am now 3 months off benzo's while I was fine and dandy (if a little anxious) while on them. This ordeal could go on indefinately in which case it would be a disaster not only for me but my wife and son. I've already lost all my friends over this and any semblance of a social life. I could get better over the next few months but there are no guarantees and many of the threads here are not encouraging. People are continuing to suffer horrendous, debilitating, life destroying sysmptoms even 18+ months out and some of them were relatively well on benzo's. I feel like advising them to reinstate, for life. Look what happens when we try to get off these evil pills. They do something permanent to our brains after long term use and then we really do need to be on them even though we certainly didn't need them at the time we first took them. It seems ludicrous to pretend otherwise.

 

I really dunno man. Did you feel much better when you reinstated?

 

You don't read about it here but there are many, many people who manage to take a low dose of benzo for life with few problems except when they try to go off them. They go through the hell we're going through then reinstate and never try to stop again. My Dr feels I fit into that category and though he supported my efforts to get off he knew that it would be an impossible battle. I haven't thrown in the towel yet but I'm close.

[[ja...]]

Yeah I hate to encourage you to reinstate man but I did feel much better. Now that being said at 3 months out you have nothing to lose anymore. By that I mean when you reinstate be it now or a year from now (from what I've read) you are going to have the same reaction, so you have the luxury of time to wait it out. I would give it a year before I consider reinstating.

[[ja...]]

I was at where you are now and every single day I regret reinstating. It seems to me you are making some big assumptions that you are never going to heal. Plenty of people have healed. I have seen a couple of people on here who are years out and still are in bad shape, but those are mostly people who did a really fast/cold turkey withdrawal. I just would hate to see you have to deal with the regret that I deal with .

[[su...]]

Hi Gussie,

Most doctors considder benzos safe, because they've been told so at many conferences etc.

We hare are considdered the extreme cases, although I suspect problems like we often have are very much un noticed in many cases.

I think personally that going back on benzos will just give you more trouble in the end, and the dose would have to keep going up to maintain comfort.

If you do have depresion or anxiety issues, it would be workth seeing a psychologist, there might be some berried stuff you have going on which if dealt with could heal you just like that.

It's often the case, and it's amazing how suppressed things can cause this stuff and make us feel bad even if we often don't consciously know why.

Worth a thought anyway!