Healed - Here's How

[[Po...]]

Wonderful success story.  Gives all of us hope and some inspiration on what to do when things go wrong.  Thanks so much.

 

Popcornlady   

[[be...]]

***I have an alcohol update***

 

So...I spent the month of September experimenting with light amounts of beer on the weekends, to see how I handled it.  I have this to say about it:

 

Back in May of 2013, I spent one night having about 4-5 glasses of wine.  Starting the next morning, I had an entire month of flare-up withdrawal symptoms.  Since I had been relatively symptom free for the 2 months before that that I had stayed away from alcohol, my assumption was that it must have been directly caused by the alcohol.

 

So I went 3 months without alcohol.  In that 3 months, I had ZERO flare ups. 

 

So this September, I went for it again.  First thing I noticed was that my alcohol tolerance was completely gone, in that only after a few beers I was TOTALLY HUNG OVER THE NEXT MORNING!  I also noticed that my hangover was quite protracted, sometimes lasting more than 1 day.  In the past when I drank regularly, I almost never had a hangover, and if I did it would only last the first few hours that I was awake.

 

But...At first, I felt like there was really nothing terribly wrong with my drinking, because I wasn't having as strong of a negative reaction to it as I did back in May.  I'm assuming that some level of healing occurred over the summer by staying away from alcohol that has allowed me to be less sensitive.

 

HOWEVER!!!  Flare-ups started happening again, so I completely got off alcohol again 2 weeks ago, and this past week (starting about 7 days after my last drink), I started having major flare ups.  They have now become softer, but I wasn't having ANY OF THESE FLARE UPS when I wasn't drinking over the summer...so...I can reasonably conclude now that they are directly related to the alcohol.

 

It's hard to say what's going on exactly...maybe I have an allergy to brewer's yeast that I just never knew about...another notion that I've entertained is that perhaps since my benzo use over 7 years was so sporadic, experiencing, what was intially unbeknownst to me, benzo withdrawal MANY TIMES before actually figuring out that it was BENZOS that were causing the horrible sensations I was having, I have actually begun to have kindling experiences, since Benzos and Alcohol affect the same parts of the brain.

 

So now...I'm just hyper sensitive to anything that affects that region of the brain.

 

Who knows...but I am bummed at the idea that maybe for the rest of my life I wont be able to enjoy alcohol, or other things...

 

I'm 30...maybe I've got time to heal.  Who knows? 

 

But...this is just a general disclaimer I thought I'd pass along, that alcohol does indeed seem to have a negative impact on withdrawal healing.  But again, like I said, I may just be sensitive to alcohol and this doesn't apply to anyone.  I can say that I never had these sensitivities until the last year I was on benzos and since getting off of benzos.

 

Be well, all.

[[su...]]

Hi benzofreebuddy,

Yes, I've had precicely the same thing happen!

Completely recovered around August to Early Sep, went away on a holiday and did some drinking, a small amount each day, for a couple of weeks, as you do in QLD.

Just before I came back home and for a week afterwards, I did get flairups.

I still am getting some nasties in the early morning, but they are dropping back and recovering again gradually.

I think alcohol and some life situations combined threw me into this mess to start with, and benzos didn't cause it, but did make it worse.

Definitely a kindle plus tollorence situation back around the start of this year.

To the future: I think as time go's on, we will get more and more resistant to any problems with alcohol, but I also suspect drinking it too close in even when we feel totally healed can set us back a bit.

I believe the time will come when it's no longer a problem at all, but it could be a year or more even after we feel totally healed.

On the other hand, I have had a couple of dinners before that holiday, with half a bottle of wine, one night here and there with a friend, and no problem.

In a way it sucks that we have to concern ourselves with this long after we feel we are totally and utterly healed, but perhaps most of us are better off for not drinking anyway.

Perhaps our gaba / glutamate systems are still repairing themselves long after we feel totally OK again.

I don't think for a minute we're going to have to bann ourselves for life, but a couple of years will probably be wise!

 

[[be...]]

Hi Surprised1,

 

What an EXCELLENT response to my post.  It was a lovely read. 

 

Thanks.   

[[ec...]]

A doctor told me that it takes years to heal completely.Even when you feel well,you are still healing.

[[su...]]

Hi benzofreebuddy & eckhart,

 

Yes, that's exactly it. Sustaned drinking for a few days here and there, or weeks is pretty much identicle to re enstating a benzo supposedly!

The healing, I agree, is still going on long after we feel perfect again.

My hunch on what all this is, is that if you suppress the gaba system by over feeding it with benzos or alcohol, you then become open to glutamate storms.

Glutamate from what I can read here, and what I've experienced, is not a corrective substance like endorphans etc, rather it's a stress substance that makes you feel worse because you felt worse, so the more you have it in your brain, the more gets produced, and you have a kindled nasty benzo WD anxiety feeling which is a self perpetuating feedback loop!

Normally for most people, the gaba system is running well enough that these feedback loops don't happen, or will correct quite quickly, but after benzo WD, they seem to run wild, possibly for months or years after the rest of the problem has long gone away.

In the vast majourity of cases, time will sort all this out, but there may be some supplaments that help, oppinions vary!

Some sware by magnesium, (particular formulations), others are starting to have a serious play with seriphos, As eckhart just pointed out in another thread, Clark had bad problems from that which we don't know the final outcome of.

I've use ginkgo biloba and feel it is very helpful as it directly forces up regulationof the gaba system, so should correct what alcohol does, and it kindly supresses glutamate while you're taking it so you don't feel the worse for having your gaba receptors starved in order to re sensitise them again.

So, apart from the definite of time, there are some options that seem to be helpful in speeding up healing.

HTH!!!

[[be...]]

A doctor told me that it takes years to heal completely.Even when you feel well,you are still healing.

 

Hi Eckhart,

 

Thanks for passing this info along.  It helps!

[[be...]]

Hi Surprised1,

 

Thanks for the info.  Great stuff!

[[su...]]

Yes, definitely.

I felt pretty well perfectly healed before the trip, a bit of alcohol, and I did get something of a setback.

It isn't super bad or cripling or anything, but it is a noticeable increase over what was going on before.

I believe that all this will sort out perhaps over  a year or so, but even when you feel perfect again, perhaps avoid regular alcohol for another year or so just to be sure.

I've decided to go back on ginkgo for a week or 2, and I believe this will correct things back to where they were or even better, so will know in a week or 2 I suppose!

 

[[...]]

Great to hear you got off the poison!

 

I too was diagnosed with PVCS (premature ventricular contractions). The heart specialist and all doctors completely denied it could be Benzo related. I had never had the issue before, needless to say I'm pissed. So has this issue gone away completely for you?

 

I need to ask,  What got you to the conclusion that cutting out sex or masturbation would help with symptoms? Interesting for sure. I understand the heightened excitement may trigger anxiety etc but wouldn't those activities be a form of "meditation" as you are not thinking of any issues. It's difficult for Anxiety/depression to exist in a mind that is focused/distracted.

 

Cheers,

 

 

Fonz

[[be...]]

Great to hear you got off the poison!

 

I too was diagnosed with PVCS (premature ventricular contractions). The heart specialist and all doctors completely denied it could be Benzo related. I had never had the issue before, needless to say I'm pissed. So has this issue gone away completely for you?

 

I need to ask,  What got you to the conclusion that cutting out sex or masturbation would help with symptoms? Interesting for sure. I understand the heightened excitement may trigger anxiety etc but wouldn't those activities be a form of "meditation" as you are not thinking of any issues. It's difficult for Anxiety/depression to exist in a mind that is focused/distracted.

 

Cheers,

 

 

Fonz

 

My understanding of the matter has perhaps changed a bit.  I agree with you that it's important to relax, and not overstress.  This is one of the best remedies.

 

The no-masturbation thing...it's hard to say.  I gave it a really good trial all summer...I felt great this summer...but, it's hard to say if that made a difference.

 

I also feel the same way now about a strict, super healthy diet.  I don't know...I've just had a few flare ups in the past few months that make it hard to tell how this process really works.  I certainly had about 3 months symptom free this summer, but...october was a decently challenging month symptom-wise.  Hard to say...

 

I hope that this waxing and waning stops eventually. 

 

The PVCs...I was going through a period in the beginning of having them where I would have a PVC every few heart beats.  It was extremely uncomfortable and very challenging emotionally.  I definitely believe that getting off of regular consumption of alcohol made those better.  I still get them from time to time, but now it's more like 1 or 2 noticeable ones a day, rather than 1000's.  Sometimes I go for days, or weeks, without even having one.  I believe that regular light exercise helps in this regard too.

 

Sorry you're going through this.  It's no fun, for sure.  The point is:  I've had some great times, gotten through some major challenges, and am in the best shape I've ever been, and I've achieved all of this OFF of benzos.  Haven't touched the things in a year and a half.  I'm going to hold out till I get to 3 years before I make any real judgements on this whole process.

 

 

[[...]]

That is great to hear of your improvements! I'd love nothing more than to someday say "I'm in the best shape of my life", that must be rewarding! 

 

Sorry I'm a little to ill tonight to say much,

 

 

All the best,

 

 

Fonz

[[Co...]]

Hey Benzofreebuddy,

 

Firstly, congratulations on your recovery and that was really a great read.

That "glue that hasn't dried yet"... perfect analogy.

 

Anyway, interesting talk regarding alcohol... you and Surprised1 definitely gave me something to consider. I'am a little over a year and I feel recovered and more or less done with this since a couple of months ago. I did take some alcohol, mostly beer or wine sporadically since September and even though I had no flare ups or problems, I really felt like I had these somewhat "extended" hangovers that lasted almost for 2 days... even the way how I felt while slightly drunk was very strange, different how I remember it pre-benzos... It didn't feel bad or wrong... just felt strange.

 

Like a different type of drunkenness if that makes any sense... but definitely less tolerance for me too.

 

So thank you for your wonderful post and this extra info... I'm still doing fine but for sure I'll be careful with any possible alcohol consumption in the near future.

 

All the best.

 

C.

[[...]]

Conzumed - Your avatar is awesome, Tin Tin rules! haha 

[[Co...]]

Benzobuddy...thank you for such a great post....and congratulations to you for not only kicking the benzos, but transforming your life as well. I also have made life/ health changes and faced the fact that I am truly in this alone ( that is not to say I don't have supportive friends...but I don't talk about my ativan w/d...and I don't want to worry and burden my grown children)...I sm very interested in what you had to say about palpitations and pvcs...I am at .0312 of Ativan x1 /day...ready to jump after the holidays). I think I have had a relatively decent w/d. ( that is not to say that I haven't had some days in hell ...especially at mid taper).. Although I am not 7 months into recovery I am 6 months into w/d and at end taper....and my experience with pvcs and palpitations mirror yours exactly. I also have the sense of fainting and dizziness with them All of a sudden they have been strong ...and frequent...and when they start they go on for hours.  also .

Your post has been very treasuring to me as I have been thinking heart attack scenarios and really scared.  How long did this hang on for you....and how did you find out that this was.  caused from vagal. nerve?... 

................I also have the nap from hell experience...with weird half dreams jerking awake with the feeling that I passed out momentarily...a totally scary feeling of 'sinking' or falling ....a weakness fatique that feels like there is a heaviness holding me nearly immobile as though I can not get up without huge force of will......was do glad to hear that this part of w/d....your post has been so so helpful to me...Best wishes to you for continued healthy life...cooper

 

 

 

[[Co...]]

Conzumed - Your avatar is awesome, Tin Tin rules! haha 

 

Haha... thanks Fonz. 

 

I had a collection of Tin Tin comics since I was a little kid... great stuff, still like to re-read it when I can.

[[be...]]

Your post has been very treasuring to me as I have been thinking heart attack scenarios and really scared.  How long did this hang on for you....and how did you find out that this was.  caused from vagal. nerve?... 

 

Hi Cooperten,

 

My doctor told me about my PVCs.  I'm not sure if the PVCs are CAUSED by the Vagus Nerve, but the doctor told me that the fainting-feeling is caused by a disruption in the Vagus Nerve when the PVCs occur.  But...that's not to say that there isn't a direct relationship between the vagus nerve and heart arrythmias.  I just don't know sure.

 

I still get the PVCs here and there, but only about 1-2 a day.  A year ago, I was having 1000s a day.  I just started exercising, eating right, and cut out alcohol with the exception of the occassional drink once every few months.

[[be...]]

Anyway, interesting talk regarding alcohol... you and Surprised1 definitely gave me something to consider. I'am a little over a year and I feel recovered and more or less done with this since a couple of months ago. I did take some alcohol, mostly beer or wine sporadically since September and even though I had no flare ups or problems, I really felt like I had these somewhat "extended" hangovers that lasted almost for 2 days...

 

Hi Conzumed,

 

I experienced the same thing in regards to hangovers; they definitely hung around for MUCH longer than before benzo withdrawal.  Usually a good 2 days of feeling out of whack.

[[su...]]

Hi Parker,

Oh, I think I'd better go off and take a little zinc.

Wouldn't want to miss the fun after all

 

Actually, the supplement I have is a powder that tastes like that Tang orange juice normally, but kind of turns bitter and not so nice if your zinc levels are up.

I do find that if I get a head ache, I took too much, so I leave it alone.

Too much zinc can do bad things too!

 

[[th...]]

Hi benzofreebuddy,

I am thetrader writing from Europe and 33 yo.

I will report a brief story of my last year. Sometimes we benzoguys are "so close, no matter how far" (Metallica).

 

After 5 years of dizziness, neck tension, vertigo, difficulty to work on a computer (i am a consultant, sigh - and I switched to a freelance job because of my symptoms) and some times big waves of nausea, i agreed to be put on clonazepam 0.5/day as a muscle relaxant. They told me that 0.5 mg could have helped with my symptoms. I became responsible of a big project and I needed something to smooth all the mess I was living during business meetings, coffee breaks, sports, lunches, journeys, walks, whatever..

 

Inside me someone was telling me that benzos are dangerous, but I was desperate and i needed to come back to work.

 

So i took it. I was september 2012.

 

Within 3 days, all my symptoms were gone. It seems I was back on track like I was at university, I know it was the drug, and I kept quenching it every evening, whoa the five magic drops.

 

In december 2012 I started experiencing some difficulty in drinking my favorite evening beer. By the end of the year, my tongue showed some little cuts each day after "my beer" and a white glue started to show in the middle of the tongue. Moreover, some times I had to rush at the toilet unexpectedly with some pain: I never had had problems to my bowel.

 

Within march, after lunch and after dinner the problems with my bowel had become severe, I had to go at the toilet many times after eating and the doctor prescribed me trimebutine maleate. They diagnosed IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). It was stress. You are stressed, try to calm down. Try to eat slowly.

 

Then, i had to double the dose of trimebutine, as one pill was not sufficient anymore. I started to suffer from gastritis. Drinking water was like drinking fire... a piece of bread like melted iron in my stomach.

 

So i stopped drinking alcohol and they prescribed me pantoprazole for the stomach.

 

By june, i was full with medications and barely manage to eat a salad, and I had lost 8% of my body weight going to the toilet for so many months several times a day.

 

In july I started to feel a great tiredness, and they told me it was the digestion. And then came levosulpiride to speed up my digestion.

 

Then, suddenly, I realized it was not the stress, but all the s*** I was taking.

 

I stopped alcohol.

I quit tomatoes, peppers, nuts, aubergines, lemon, juices, oranges and all kind of meat.

Pure vegetarian diet (but with fish), with soft non acid vegetables for TWO MONTHS. It was a nightmare, I am a carnivore but I knew and felt it was the right thing to do.

 

My bowel started to get better. And my trips to the toiled dropped in number. And better again, and better.

 

In september I made a huge improvement by removing gluten, so that I was able to reinstate the meat.

 

Within the month of october, my tongue, stomach and bowel were completely healed.

I was tested for xeliac disease but came negative.

 

Now I am sure I have developed:

1. sensitivity to gluten,

2. sensitivity to solanaceae

3. sensitivity to alcohol

4. sensitivity to acids (lemon, vinegar)

5. sensitivity to yeast and brewed stuff (like soy sauce)

 

If one evening I eat some biscuits, the day after I have IBS symptoms.

 

If I follow a strict diet, my body thanx me and keeps up.

 

I started a course of pilates at the gym. I started to take hip hop dance lessons. I exercise three times a week.

I still have great waves of tiredness, but I feel I am healing.

 

Then I started to taper clonazepam, as you can see here below I managed to drop 0.3 mgs in two months and one week.

 

My life is changing a lot during my tapering, I am starting to know myself, and I am sure I will get out from this hell.

 

Peace and light for you benzofree and for all guys

 

 

[[Ga...]]

Benzofreebuddy

I don't know how to contact you privately like you mentioned but my story is no where near as complex as yours.  I have made decisions with my diet...cut out sugar, fruit & juices, wheat/gluten, all msg I find under all of its names, nite shade Vegs, dairy, supplements.  I have lost a lot of weight which I needed to do to be honest.  I eat only hormone free, grass fed beef, chicken, eggs.  Game meat.  But I was wondering if you had withdrawal issues with your diet changes.  I think I have added to my anxiety By doing all this at the same time.  What do you think?  And I think my age factors into all this as well....67 yrs.....as far as losing so much muscle tone and strength.  I am walking 15 minutes plus 15 more on my Exercycle.  It ain't easy but I just feel like I need to keep pushing through and be active.    But outside stuff will soon end from snow and cold. 

Anyway, just wanted to have more details from you.  Thanks so much.  This is a hard road to walk for all of us and so glad to have help and support here.

[[be...]]

FYI - the reason "not masturbating" likely helped you was that ejaculation depletes the body of about 5mg of zinc each time.  Zinc is a naturally- calming, anti-anxiety mineral used  in the creation of serotonin.

 

I'm a female, and once I started taking zinc in recovery, my memory, taste, and a whole lot of symptoms improved.  There is a zinc taste test you can take to discern zinc levels (and need for supplementation) at home - called "Zinc Status or Zinc Tally" that can be purchased from vitamin shops online. I keep it in my fridge and swig about a teaspoon of it a week to check my zinc levels.  The taste tells you how much zinc you need. This was a HUGE help in recovery for me.

 

So -it's not the masturbation that is "tough" on the body - it's the zinc loss.

 

Just FYI.

 

:)Parker

 

Thank you!  Extremely valuable information!!!

[[be...]]

Benzofreebuddy

I don't know how to contact you privately like you mentioned but my story is no where near as complex as yours.  I have made decisions with my diet...cut out sugar, fruit & juices, wheat/gluten, all msg I find under all of its names, nite shade Vegs, dairy, supplements.  I have lost a lot of weight which I needed to do to be honest.  I eat only hormone free, grass fed beef, chicken, eggs.  Game meat.  But I was wondering if you had withdrawal issues with your diet changes.  I think I have added to my anxiety By doing all this at the same time.  What do you think?  And I think my age factors into all this as well....67 yrs.....as far as losing so much muscle tone and strength.  I am walking 15 minutes plus 15 more on my Exercycle.  It ain't easy but I just feel like I need to keep pushing through and be active.    But outside stuff will soon end from snow and cold. 

Anyway, just wanted to have more details from you.  Thanks so much.  This is a hard road to walk for all of us and so glad to have help and support here.

 

Hi,

 

Not sure if I said this in my original post, but the general rule of thumb I go by is: do what feels right.  I definitely experienced some very uncomfortable sensations with a strict diet, losing weight, and getting into shape.  It's a fine line we balance, since the benzo withdrawal seems to magnify EVERYTHING.  Sometimes it's a real trick to distinguish between what is the withdrawal and what is an unrelated symptom to something else. 

 

The bottom line: focus on the things in your life you can control and affect positively and do as many of those things as you can.  Take it easy, give yourself rest, and really listen to your body, mind, and the world around you.  We are all at different stages in our recovery, lives, bodies, minds, and thus all have different needs to keep us in balance.  Always do what's right for you.  Push yourself, but don't  push yourself too far.  Know your limits and respect them.

 

Take care.

[[be...]]

Benzofreebuddy

I don't know how to contact you privately like you mentioned

 

Oh, and Galea, to private message someone you click on their picture to the left of their post.  You will be taken to a new screen.  On the left you will see a big button that says "Actions".  Underneath it in smaller text, you will see "send private message".  Click that and WAH LAH!

[[be...]]

Your story is truly inspiring