Mrubar needs some support.she is dealing with her mother's symptoms

[[Ca...]]

Mrubar

 

I didnt do a taper. I was a Ct

 

Consequently I am still notheralded at 19 + months off.

 

Getting there though.

 

I am

Happy to read that you have a backup plan for your mother.

Love Carol

 

[[Mr...]]

Mrubar

 

I didnt do a taper. I was a Ct

 

Consequently I am still notheralded at 19 + months off.

 

Getting there though.

 

I am

Happy to read that you have a backup plan for your mother.

Love Carol

 

Dear Carol, I am sorry I forgot you CT. Thank you for your response. It is a third day for my Mom that Her pulse is ok. Maybe slowing down the taper helped? Have a good weekend and thank you for all your help. Mrubar

[[Fl...]]

Oh Mrubar, I'm sorry I called your son your daughter.  :DHe's only 5 so maybe he won't get too offended. 

 

I'm very glad to hear your Mother is doing a little better. How are you holding up?

Flip

[[Mr...]]

Oh Mrubar, I'm sorry I called your son your daughter.  :DHe's only 5 so maybe he won't get too offended. 

 

I'm very glad to hear your Mother is doing a little better. How are you holding up?

Flip

 

Dear Flip, when my Mom is better I am terrific! My son is in preschool and I jumped into furniture catalog which I am suppose to order. Before I flew to Poland we moved to another city in US, where is more jobs from my field and my husband's job is same far like it was from another city. So we have to arrange new space, one more room etc.

Because of the withdrawal I could not even think about enjoying anything. Now when it is going somehow and we are all alive, I decided to use the good day and plan something for my life back there. I hope I will go back to work when my son will enter the nicest kindergarten in the area and my Mom will be healing so fast that She can come to us for THanksgiving. I am choosing a wordrobe,  a lamp.... I am very happy today. I need to be happy, worrying is not my real nature. So I desperately need a break from worrying. I KNOW it is not the end of the battle, I DO KNOW. I just need a little hour for me.

THANK YOU for asking and being so close to me now, my Friend. Mrubar

[[Fl...]]

And this is the secret of getting through, Mrubar...taking or even making the good in between the bad. Each moment has it's own merit. My benzo taper taught me this with great clarity. There are beautiful moments in between the horror times.

 

When I was at my very worst, I had friends, here, who would make me laugh out loud. A bunch of us simply "played" through the hardest times and it was so healing. I will never forget the value of that and I feel this soul connection to the people who helped me through. I KNOW you understand what I mean. I can hear it in your words. You have a strong, honest and hopeful heart Mrubar. It's an honor to have met you!

Flip

[[Mr...]]

And this is the secret of getting through, Mrubar...taking or even making the good in between the bad. Each moment has it's own merit. My benzo taper taught me this with great clarity. There are beautiful moments in between the horror times.

 

When I was at my very worst, I had friends, here, who would make me laugh out loud. A bunch of us simply "played" through the hardest times and it was so healing. I will never forget the value of that and I feel this soul connection to the people who helped me through. I KNOW you understand what I mean. I can hear it in your words. You have a strong, honest and hopeful heart Mrubar. It's an honor to have met you!

Flip

 

Dear Flip,

Thank you for your understanding and kind words. It is a real miracle that I found this BB place. When I started tapering my Mom's benzo a little over a year ago I did not know about it and it was such a lonely journey. Now I feel much better having you right in the subject, without explanations and spare words.

I don't know if I am strong, but certainly have a hope and already see the change in my Mom's condition. Thank you, thank you, thank you Benzobuddies! Mrubar

[[Ca...]]

Flip. Mrubar. 

 

http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo29/pigletmph/zadiffgrouphug.gif

 

Love

Carol

[[Mr...]]

 

Dear Carol, if possible, can you tell me more specific what did you need the help with? Like with making grocery shopping, going for a walk? Laundry? Or more personal things? Sorry that I am asking but I want to have a plan well planned... THANK you for your comments. I KNOW it can be still bad and maybe worse than it is. But today I am very happy and my Mom is very good, symptoms all disappeared so I enjoy the moment. Have a good day! Mrubar

 

 

 

Mrubar

I needed help with everything!

I would not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom.

I would just lie there all day.

I would not prepare any food or even eat any food.

I would not wash myself.

I was just a blob that was lying on the bed.

 

My husband would bring me a protein drink and then he would have to work.

I sometimes tried to drink it but mostly it just sat there.

Then later he would come up and say please take a drink and I would take a drink.

he would tell me to get dressed and then we would walk around outside.

My brain felt dead. I wouldn't talk, watch TV or do anything at all.

 

Slowly my brain became less dead and I was able to walk by myself and maybe make a piece of toast.

Then as I continued to get better I started unloading the dishwasher.

Again, very slowly I was able to take on more work in the house.

I became well enough to shop for food and I started to plan small meals that I could make.

I started to do the laundry and started being able to think about my children and have opinions on issues.

I started driving my car again at about 4 months off.

At about 6 months off I rejoined my choir.

I still cannot read a novel for enjoyment.

As my husband and I worked together my illness has caused us a lot of dispruption.

I am trying now to re-learn our business and help with it.

 

Now don't forget that I was a CT.

 

But so far I have observed that very few people are functional when they finish their taper.

If there are maybe they will let us know.

 

If you ask that question in a new thread some people will answer it.

maybe she is better than I was.

I hope so.

 

Love Carol

 

Thank you Carol! Maybe more people would tell me how they felt after tapering or CT? My mom is in tolerance and I am slowly tapering, trying to prepare for the time after the taper when I will have to live on another continent. Thank you everyone for your input, Mrubar