Whatalife's escape from klonopin

[[wh...]]

thanks adelia and hawkeye and theresa....

 

I believe in a higher power but lately I am wondering where this higher power is that is letting us all suffer so.

 

I thank you all for replying to me...I seem to stick in total terror and I know a woman...who came off 1 mg of ativan in 5 months....equal to my .5 k and she got off and shook vilently for 5 months and no sleep ....she is ok now that she is a year off ..but hell I am terrified to come off too fast and yet I feel sick staying on it for a long time.  Is it true that we heal each little bit we come off of?  my brain is so fried from the ct's and all and so I think I am slow to heal....so is it normal to feel this sick at this ..297 point?  yikes what is gonna happen when I go lower?

 

I am so frightened and not able to sleep much the past few nites and been waking in pools of sweat and burning up then freezing..what is all that about?

 

I read that ABC story about colin and the others and scared the hebie jebies out of me.

 

so ok um what is ok to take to sleep?

[[la...]]

Hey whatalife,

 

I'm so sorry anxiety is getting to you.   

 

I'm not an expert on titrating by any means, but staying on one dose too long can definitely make you feel worse.  The first thing you need to do is try to get rid of the fear.  Fear is your enemy!  There is nothing to be afraid of except staying on benzos.

 

The insomnia and sweating, although a huge pain in the rear to have, is very much the norm in withdrawals.  Some have found taking an over the counter antihistamine helps some with sleep.  There is also an audio here in the forum that is an insomnia aid called a "total body scan".  This is the link for it  http://www.benzobuddies.org/buddiesguide/insomnia-aid    Even if it doesn't help you sleep, it is a wonderful relaxation technique you can use for anxiety as well.

 

One thing you do need to understand about tapering your benzo is that the symptoms you are feeling are not only your body saying "give me more benzo", it's also your body's way of healing.  Benzos are "tranquilizers" and do just that.  They tranquilize the receptors in your body to calm everything down.  When you stop giving your body the benzo, your receptors slowly start waking up again on their own.  This is where alot of symptoms come from.  When your receptors start waking up, it's important to realize they are all very sensitive and "over stimulate" very easily.  That is why positive thinking and teaching your body to relax are so important.  Try not to dwell on what is going on with your body, and instead focus more on acceptance that this is how the body heals itself.  If you are doing a nice safe taper, there shouldn't be any symptoms come up any worse than you've already been through.  Waves of symptoms are unavoidable in order to heal, and soon you will see days where you are feeling really good for awhile.  Those times will keep getting closer and closer, and last longer and longer as your body heals.

 

I know this sounds totally dumb, but talking to yourself about it helps too.  You have to keep reinforcing positive thoughts in your mind.  Instead of thinking "I'm not anxious", reassure yourself "I'm so calm".  I'm not sure why, but I read somewhere that your brain responds better when the word "not" isn't used.  What you tell yourself has to be a positive reinforcement of what you ARE.  I hope that makes some sense. 

 

I guess the bottom line in all of my morning babbling is....  do not let FEAR be the boss! 

 

I hope you get a nice open window soon so you can get a taste of what is in store for you after this is done!   

 

 

[[wh...]]

Lady,

 

you cut very fast and came off very fast....how do u feel ? did you not go into a ct type wd?  yikes....I did two of them and reinstated both times and this is why I am afraid as I understand when you reinstate and not totally stable then coming off slow you get sicker as you go lower.  this is my fear.  I have taken 6 months to get 41% off the drug...from .5 k to .298k and I am very sick and frightened. 

thanks for the insomnia site..

so many say take antihistimines and some say do not.  some say hold and some say it will not help me..some say go faster and some say slow up..my head is spinning.

 

I guess I am so frightened as I do not know what my outcome is gonna be like....you say you do not think I can get much worse if I go slow?  right?

 

yikes as I see some people going slow after what I did as well and get sicker and sicker as they go lower and lower and crash and burn...yikes...and so I dunno ...I really messed up by doing two ct's and all and reinstating late and not stabalizing when I started again..so I dunno what is in store for me and this is scarey and i know I have a lot more to come off of...so scared.

 

some say they feel better as they go lower and others like me get worse so I am afraid.  terrified really...just never feel good...worse in the mornings.  the rate I am going I will be like a year more to come off this.

[[pa...]]

Hi Whatalife.

I personally dont think dragging out your taper too much will be very helpful. A year for .33mg? I dont see that that's going to help you. Of course I think a sensible taper has to be done always but I believe taking that long is only going to prolong your suffering. I think getting off is when your going to begin healing.

Just my thoughts on it.

 

Hope you have a good night!

 

Amanda 

[[st...]]

HI whatalife,

 

Your symptoms are very typical.  Most members have gone through what you are going through.  That is why we are on this site.....for support.  IMO you are prolonging your suffering by not cutting at a faster rate.  I felt better after being off the Xanax than I did before I stabilized.  The first month off was a little rough but no rougher than what you are going through now.  You are on a low dose and if you put your mind to it you can be off in a very short while.  I took each symptom as they came.  I took my cozy hooded sweatshirt, a heating pad and cuddled up in a recliner.  I watched calming tv shows to keep my mind off myself.  I had just about every symptom that is mentioned in the Ashton Manual but my positive mindset kept me going.  I knew I wanted to be free of the benzos and nothing was going to stop me from getting to my goal.  You can do this and I am rooting for you.

 

Patty  xo

[[wh...]]

AWWWWWWWw thanks guys for helping!

 

well yes I am on a low dose but for 12 yrs and two cts' and yo yoing and now coming off this hell.  well I am still worried cause you say the anxiety and fear is normal... this much anxiety where I wake up in terror madness....?  afraid to go to the store or anywhere?  feels like your brain is a mess and does not belong to you? 

 

yesterday I took an extra dose of k...accidently...usually 4 doses a day and I took 5 and frieked out but too late..was more relaxed but after waking up...I was jacked up.....nervous all day and went back to the normal dose.

 

stupid new doc said to take seroquel at a low dose cause it would calm my anxiety and help me get going on my wd....and take ambien to sleep..he is a psych doc and I said that ambien is like a benzo and he and I got in a arguement...he said it will not hurt me and neither will the seroaquel..when I got home and read about it....the seroquel was very dangerous..and I called him and he said i would be on a low dose....and not harm me and me being on a low dose it will not hurt me.

 

well I took a lyrica too and it was horrible as well...felt like hell and headachy and this other doc had me take that for the anxiety.  this did not work at all...awful.

 

no other drug helps this as I have learned.........this is scarey...i dunno if I should hold or keep going...I am afraid if I go lower I will keep getting worse.

 

where do I go from here.

[[pa...]]

AWWWWWWWw thanks guys for helping!

 

well yes I am on a low dose but for 12 yrs and two cts' and yo yoing and now coming off this hell.  well I am still worried cause you say the anxiety and fear is normal... this much anxiety where I wake up in terror madness....?  afraid to go to the store or anywhere?  feels like your brain is a mess and does not belong to you? 

 

yesterday I took an extra dose of k...accidently...usually 4 doses a day and I took 5 and frieked out but too late..was more relaxed but after waking up...I was jacked up.....nervous all day and went back to the normal dose.

 

stupid new doc said to take seroquel at a low dose cause it would calm my anxiety and help me get going on my wd....and take ambien to sleep..he is a psych doc and I said that ambien is like a benzo and he and I got in a arguement...he said it will not hurt me and neither will the seroaquel..when I got home and read about it....the seroquel was very dangerous..and I called him and he said i would be on a low dose....and not harm me and me being on a low dose it will not hurt me.

 

well I took a lyrica too and it was horrible as well...felt like hell and headachy and this other doc had me take that for the anxiety.  this did not work at all...awful.

 

no other drug helps this as I have learned.........this is scarey...i dunno if I should hold or keep going...I am afraid if I go lower I will keep getting worse.

 

where do I go from here.

 

Forward! That's where you go. Staying on is not helping, going up is not going to help. You have to push yourself through this. What your experiencing is normal, it really really is. The severity can be lowered with some relaxation, have you been doing any? It may get a little worse when you get lower but if you learn to control the anxiety now you'll be able to deal with it much easier. But again it's not a given that you'll suffer any more when you get lower. Some don't.

 

I don't think additional meds will help. Unless there's crippling depression I don't think it should be taken. That's just my opinion.

 

Keep going! You'll get off and this will end.

 

Amanda 

[[wh...]]

Amanda thanks...and anyone else who wants to add to this....

 

I keep crawling off slow...and I am at like .293 and did not sleep and feel a pain in the right back of my head and right foot is twisted and can't walk on it.

 

teeth are clenched...yikes.

 

[[pa...]]

I know these symptoms majorly suck  but remember that they are only temporary. They will get better! Your down to such a low dose, you can be off pretty soon if you choose to.

Hang in there

 

Amanda 

[[wh...]]

really I am afraid to go faster..I am afraid now..this is what I am experiencing...insomnia really bad and then my leg muscles tense up and then feel like jelly and I get dizzy and sweaty and tight chest...blurry eyes...this headache in the back of my head and heart palps and feel like I am half here in my brain ...kinda dopy feeling and my foot hurts and is making me limp...I don't think all these are a good sign as the lower I go the more sx's I am feeling and it is frightful..today I am experiencing a lot more vibrations and tightness in my gums and teeth...this is scarey....I feel very weak so the lower I go ..yikes...I am afraid...ya know.

[[ha...]]

It sounds like you are really stressed. What do you do to relax? Is there anything that works really well for you?