Whatalife's escape from klonopin

[[pa...]]

Hi whatalife! I'm going to answer your pm here.

 

I strongly suggest you do not yo yo your dose anymore. Going up and down is not going to help you. From the jumping around you did I would say to take a couple days and stabilize on the .310 mg you are on and then resume your titration again.

 

It sounds like the lexapro may have turned on you but I think part of the problem is the fear you hold. I know I've had big anxiety when starting another med because I had one that made me feel worse, since then I'm very nervous when I take anything. How long did you take it for?

 

Your hormones may be playing a part in this too. I'm not sure if your currently taking anything for that or not?

 

I know your scared and it's normal to be but you need to learn some relaxation to help it. Your feeding these negative thoughts and it's making this harder. Have you tried anything yet?

 

Hang in there! Your going to get through this!

 

Amanda 

 

P.S - We dont always get worse at the end of our tapers. Some feel better. Do not think about that now! Take this a day at a time!

 

 

[[wh...]]

I did a very stupid thing and updosed for one day to relieve my anxiety before I went nuts...and then got sick and was sorry I did that and so I went back to the .310 dose and it has been 2 days and I have been very very anxious and the anxiety is worse and I wonder if that is cuz I did that stupid updose and if I will balance out if I hold? 

 

I worry because I reinstated and it seems that was a mistake to reinstate after 2 months ct and the anxiety is eating me alive to where I dunno what to do...if I go lower I get worse...updose did not help and holding is maybe my option?? or if I keep lowering this mess won't my anxiety just keep getting worse?  I need advice please!

[[pa...]]

Hi Whatalife!

 

It wont hurt if you hold for a couple days if that's what you want to do. The yo yoing isnt helping so please try to stay on your plan, updosing has not helped and I dont think it will.

 

Some people dont start the healing process until they are off. You may very well be one of those people. Keep going with your taper and get off.

For some it does get harder the lower they get but there is no way around it. Eventually we have to come off, holding at a certain dose wont help for long. I think starting yoga or some exercise, deep breathing, meditation etc will be VERY helpful to you. Please try something to control your anxiety. I know it seems hard, sometimes impossible but it's not. It just takes some effort.

 

Hang in there

 

Amanda 

[[wh...]]

ok um...I ct'd off klonopin .5 and then reinstated after 2 months cause the anxiety was too hard for me to handle....and I had my diaphram seize up on me and thought I was gonna die so I took another k. and then it felt normal and I felt good and then I got depressed cuz I ended back on it after 2 months...during the 2 months of ct...I had such bad anxiety ..not from me..I have no anxiety disorder..it was from the pill coming out of me.

 

so after reinstating I thought I could come off this easier ...a little at a time and keep the anxiety level at bay and then ....I could slowly come off and get off this mess...well I went super slow with water taper...and took 4 months to come off .5 klonopin for a 12 yr useage now...down to .310 ...and I was feeling the anxiety more and more....it got so bad that two days ago I did a stupid thing and updosed...took twice my daily dose...and then I felt even worse and dizzy...and I was mad at myself.

 

I then went back to my .310 and it has been 2 days since I did that and today I feel totally out of control ..worse anxiety ever...and I wonder if it is due to my updoseing?  do you think?  and then what?  if I hold here will my body balance back out?  and if I hold for like maybe a month ....would my body catch up to the titration and where I am now to where the anxiety will ease up so I can go lower?  what typically happens when someone does this?

 

I read when you reinstate many have trouble and have hell all the way down...wondering if I have to keep cutting would my anxiety get worse and worse or will it lessen up cu z I will not able to handle more anxiety on top of this...I am stuck and have no idea what to do...

 

can someone please advise...

thank you

[[wh...]]

thanks amanda

 

u think holding will do nothing to lessen the anxiety?

 

yikes...so now what...the anxiety will get worse?

 

 

[[Th...]]

Hi whatalife,

 

I don't really know what to tell you. I don't think holding will do you any good. Some people that try to reinstate after being off these meds for a while do not get any relief and some find it is more difficult to taper the second time. You may need to just keep moving forward. Sometimes members feel better after making a cut.

 

As slow as you are tapering, I would think your body has had time to catch up by now.

 

T2

[[Be...]]

ok um...I ct'd off klonopin .5 and then reinstated after 2 months cause the anxiety was too hard for me to handle....and I had my diaphram seize up on me and thought I was gonna die so I took another k. and then it felt normal and I felt good and then I got depressed cuz I ended back on it after 2 months...during the 2 months of ct...I had such bad anxiety ..not from me..I have no anxiety disorder..it was from the pill coming out of me.

 

so after reinstating I thought I could come off this easier ...a little at a time and keep the anxiety level at bay and then ....I could slowly come off and get off this mess...well I went super slow with water taper...and took 4 months to come off .5 klonopin for a 12 yr useage now...down to .310 ...and I was feeling the anxiety more and more....it got so bad that two days ago I did a stupid thing and updosed...took twice my daily dose...and then I felt even worse and dizzy...and I was mad at myself.

 

I then went back to my .310 and it has been 2 days since I did that and today I feel totally out of control ..worse anxiety ever...and I wonder if it is due to my updoseing?  do you think?  and then what?  if I hold here will my body balance back out?  and if I hold for like maybe a month ....would my body catch up to the titration and where I am now to where the anxiety will ease up so I can go lower?  what typically happens when someone does this? 

I really think that most of the worsening anxiety is caused by your fear about the anxiety and tapering. I  believe you are going to need to do something to change your thinking and dedicate yourself to learning some anxiety-reducing techniques that work for you.  Life is full of stress and that is still going to be true when you get off.  I think that is probably what happened to you before:  your anxiety escalated after you were off for whatever reason and then it spun out of control.  My 3-corner stool for fighting anxiety was made up of controlled deep breathing. frequent mild exercise and listening to the lectures of Claire Weekes ("Help and Hope for your Nerves" every day, sometimes 2-3x/day. (Downloadable from iTunes).  The first two helped me manage the physical symptoms and the latter helped me figure out how to stop making myself feel worse by my thinking. 

I read when you reinstate many have trouble and have hell all the way down...wondering if I have to keep cutting would my anxiety get worse and worse or will it lessen up cu z I will not able to handle more anxiety on top of this...I am stuck and have no idea what to do...

 

can someone please advise...

thank you

 

Yes, I've read the same thing about it often being harder after a reinstatement.  I don't know any solution except to continue tapering off. However, first I would work on those anxiety-reducing techniques I mentioned earlier.  That first time you are able to derail the anxiety is very empowering and you will gain confidence every time you are able to maintain your mental equilibrium even when you get physical symptoms. And you will get physical symptoms; that's a virtual certainty. However, they are "just" feelings and will not harm you if you don't let your mind run wild with fear.  That's my best advice, whatalife. 

[[pa...]]

No I dont think holding will help the anxiety. In the end it's your decision but I think the best thing to do is move forward.

 

The anxiety may get better, worse or stay the same. In the end I believe it's going to come down to you, if you learn the coping techniques you need I'm sure it'll improve atleast a little. Please please work on it. You can control the extend of anxiety you have.

 

Amanda 

[[wh...]]

thanks .....however it is the anxiety from the benzo...not from me...yes some is from me from being worried about all this but the benzo is coming out and my nerves are jangled....awful feeling and I am sick too. 

[[wh...]]

thanks....so much beeper and T2

 

well I am thinking too that the anxiety is from me..and I sped up the taper and then my anxiety got so bad it did spin out of control...

 

I will do the deep breathing ..thanks...and other stuff...however I feel ill and yes I am going slowly and I am worried what will happen when I get lower off this hell...

 

I dunno how much I messed up by updosing one day and then coming back down..that was stupid I admit it.

 

I dunno why it is so hard to get off this after reinstating...it is frightful as I wake mornings and then get adrenal rushes thinking how much more is in my body and how much worse I am gonna be.

 

I prayed to God 4 nites in a row and slept with the bible and begged him to give me a window so I could attend church today but I feel too sick..so I am depressed about it.  I do feel bad...very dizzy and all...just worried the lower I go the worse I can get.

[[Be...]]

thanks....so much beeper and T2

 

well I am thinking too that the anxiety is from me..and I sped up the taper and then my anxiety got so bad it did spin out of control...

 

I will do the deep breathing ..thanks...and other stuff...however I feel ill and yes I am going slowly and I am worried what will happen when I get lower off this hell...

 

Here's one way to do the breathing.  It takes practice and you have to do it a lot before it becomes semi-automatic.  I would start doing it as soon as I recognized signs of anxiety - like shaking or racing heart or sweating or adrenaline rushes - and kept doing it until I felt calmer.  Sometimes the anxiety symptoms flared back up in a matter of moments so I'd just go back to concentrating on breathing in controlled way.  I promise you it will help if you keep at it.

 

Slow Breathing Techniique

 

The jerkier the breath, the more disruptive it is to the autonomic nervous system. When the breath is smooth and even, autonomic balance is achieved.

 

- If possible, stop what you are doing and sit down or lean against something.

 

- Hold your breath and count to 10 (don't take a deep breath)

 

- When you get to 10, breathe out and say the word "relax" to yourself in a calm, soothing manner. Remember to breathe through your nose.

 

- Breathe in and out slowly in a six-second cycle. Breathe in for three seconds and out for three seconds. This will produce a breathing rate of

  10 breaths per minute. Say the word "relax" to yourself every time you breathe out.

 

- At the end of each minute (after 10 breaths), hold your breath again for 10 seconds and then continue breathing in the six-second cycle.

 

- Continue breathing in this way until all the symptoms of over-breathing [anxiety] have gone.

 

I dunno how much I messed up by updosing one day and then coming back down..that was stupid I admit it.

  I really don't think this blip will make any difference overall.  Many people will take a "one off" dose and then drop back the next day and keep tapering.  Worrying about it will mess  you up, though.

I dunno why it is so hard to get off this after reinstating...it is frightful as I wake mornings and then get adrenal rushes thinking how much more is in my body and how much worse I am gonna be.

 

I prayed to God 4 nites in a row and slept with the bible and begged him to give me a window so I could attend church today but I feel too sick..so I am depressed about it.  I do feel bad...very dizzy and all...just worried the lower I go the worse I can get.

 

Do you see how much your thoughts and fears are making you feel worse?  I know it sounds too simple or maybe too far out, but there reallyh is a connection between how you think about what you are feeling and how you feel.  It can be a vicious circle but you can break out of it.  You need to challenge and talk back to those thoughts with strong, positive statements.  Incredibly, even if you don't believe it when you say it (eg., "this is nothing but a feeling and feelings can't hurt me"), your brain will accept it as truth.  The book "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" plus personal experiences made me a believer.  You have more power than you know.

[[wh...]]

thanks Beeper..I will do the breath thing..I felt anxious this morning and too a ashwagnda and slept another hour...then woke up anxious again and took valerian and it stopped the anxiety for 1/2 hour and then it came back..what the heck?  is it ok to take these things?

[[pa...]]

Alot of people here have had bad experiences with supplements. It's wise to be careful and watch for new or worsening symptoms.

 

The supplements arent a cure for anxiety, they arent going to just get rid of it. You have to put the effort in to learn to control it before it'll get better. Try doing the deep breathing and other things on the panic/anxiety board to control it.

 

Amanda

[[wh...]]

ok thankx...geez i need something tho..ok will deep breath

[[wh...]]

I am having a difficult time tapering off klonpin after 2 ct's and reinstating...I am at .310 from .5 k.  and I am having horrible anxiety beyond belief.  the lower I go I can't stand it...

if I cross to valium equivalant of 6 mgs...will this save me or will it be a mistake?

 

please advice.

 

 

[[ha...]]

Hi whatalife,  I'm thinking that there is more to your story.  Do you have another thread somewhere else here?  I hate for you to have to repeat yourself.

 

You reinstated on Klonopin in November 08 and then you began titrating off in December 08.  And then you were down to .333 mg (I'm not sure when that was) and you have had anxiety throughout the past five or so months? 

 

Did you have any windows, or periods of relief from the symptoms (even partially?) and what was going on at that point? 

 

Are you trying any supplements, vitamins, dietary changes, etc.  ? 

 

And lastly, do you have a doctor that will work with you to cross over to an equivalent dose of Valium?  If you do, perhaps you want to post a question over on the taper thread or the titration thread.  I don't think the equivalent you mentioned is correct, so you may want to check that with them.  They are great and can be very specific with you.  And the "anxiety" thread has a lot of good information, too, to help you manage your symptoms. 

 

[[Be...]]

I am having a difficult time tapering off klonpin after 2 ct's and reinstating...I am at .310 from .5 k.  and I am having horrible anxiety beyond belief.  the lower I go I can't stand it...

if I cross to valium equivalant of 6 mgs...will this save me or will it be a mistake?

 

please advice.

 

 

 

I'm not a fan of valium crossovers for first-time taperers, but it does work well for some people.  Here are some considerations:

 

Substitution Taper

 

Advantages: switching to an equivalent dose of Valium from a short half-life benzo (this must be carried out gradually) virtually guarantees that you will experience no interdose withdrawal effects; switching from a very potent benzo to Valium allows for much smaller cuts to your dose (more frequent small cuts are better tolerated than less frequent large cuts); if you have had problems sleeping, you may benefit from the sedating effects of Valium.

 

Disadvantages:  some planning is required with a switch to Valium (but we will help you with this); an equivalent dose must be calculated and tweaked where necessary to suit the individual; many doctors (particularly in the USA) do not support a switch to Valium; switching will likely add to the overall time taken to withdraw; a small number of people appear to not tolerate the switch to Valium very well (this sometimes might be due to the wrong equivalent dose being prescribed or a failure to tweak the dose for the individual concerned according to how they react).

 

Prof. Ashton achieved very good results in her clinic by switching patients to Valium. Usually, her patients had already failed to quit benzos via the Direct route. If your doctor is supportive, and willing to adjust the equivalent dose as required, you are more likely to benefit from substitution.

 

BTW, it's generally best to stick with one main taper thread when discussing taper issues.  It is very difficult for others to keep track of what you've reported on other threads (you've started 10 of them) and what advice and information you have received so as not to be duplicative or go in circles.  If you would like someone to combine your taper threads into one "Whatalife's taper" thread, just post here and one of the moderators can do that for you. 

[[wh...]]

thx hawkeye...yeah I have a thread somewhere...I need to know if it is good or bad to switch to valium cuz i have tolerance to k and high anxiety and frightened how to go lower as I hit a wall...

 

no windows...sick all the time...scared and the anxiety is very bad and hoping if I cross to valium even on a small dose is it a mistake and make me sicker or will it help?

 

I have tried kava kava , valerian root, ashwagnda, l theanine, tryptophan, gaba and a few other things...some gave me relief for like 1/2 hour and then the anxiety came flying back hard.

 

I started yes..  .5k dec 6th after a horrible ct ....reinstated 2 months later thinking I could titrate off easy but no it is not working that way...most sx's are dizzy and sweaty and light headed and other stuff but the main one is high anxiety that I can't handle at all...so I hoped if I switch to v. it would help....   I am at the equivalant of 6 mgs of valium I believe as I am at .305 now.  so I dunno what is best to do.

 

I looked at the anxiet threads but I am in a state ........

 

thanks for any help

 

[[pa...]]

Some people have a hard time reinstating after a ct. I think you need to push ahead and get off and then you'll begin to heal. Valium may or may not give you relief, there's no way to know for sure. I personally had a hard time with valium and had to stay on Ativan, other's have better experiences. Either way your still going to have some kind of symptoms, there's no magic pill to get rid of it.

The supplements arent going to totally rid you of anxiety and may increase it. Did you introduce only one at a time? Make sure you monitor it and chart any worsening with the supplement.

That's the reason you should visit the anxiety board, because you are in a state. The tips there can help you get ahold of it. Doing some of the exercises on there can make this easier.

 

Amanda 

 

[[wh...]]

yes Beeper you can have all my posts on one blog....that would be great.

 

I dunno if I should switch or not....this morning I got up and a new sx...diarreah and sweaty and my legs and arms felt tight and weak and I am having terrible time walking...this is frightful..going so slow..what is wrong?  how can I get off this ?

the lower I go the more I feel stuff.  at .305 so I have 61% to go..yikes...

 

 

[[ha...]]

hi whatalife,  Here is my opinion and it is only that.  I hear how much you are suffering and some of that suffering is caused by your desperate search for an "answer".  Remember, this is my opinion.  Even when you get an answer, you don't stop looking.  You start your search again. 

 

Here is why I think you do this:  If you stopped your search, you would be left with an answer you do not like.  Which is this:  You must stay where you are until you are legitimately equipped to move on.  You are searching for an answer that does not exist.  And your search is delaying your healing. 

 

All the kava kava in the world is not a substitute for learning how to live.  "Taking something" is what got us in this mess in the first place.  You have it within you, right now, to begin to reduce your suffering.  Trusting that you have what it takes is the first step in healing.  Unless and until you stop this searching, you will never be able to accomplish this first step.

 

Perhaps switching over to Valium would be helpful for you, I don't know.  But once you truly decide on your taper plan/ taper drug, stick to it.  And from there, take steps to change your life.  There will be a feeling of fear at the exact moment that you stop the search.  Look at that fear, find out what you are running from and you will find the answer you need.  The answer is not to take something else.  The answer is inside of you, you have to look there now.  I believe you have what it takes!

[[wh...]]

thanks beeper for putting all my threads into one xoxooxox

 

thanks for all of you helping me...and yes hawkeye..I believe i am searching ...i am searching tho for something to calm the anxiety and fear so I can move on..I guess that I fear that the lower I go the worse I will get and I have the ct's fresh in my mind and it is frightful.

 

I'm just  worried that like I said the lower I go the worse I will get...I have read posts where people get sicker as they go lower and even at a very slow rate...and say the end they feel like they cold turkeyed....I thought this is to prevent this.

 

I know I am frightened....if I was off this I would be ok feeling like I do now but if I get much worse it is frightning....I dunno when to hold or go forward...just frightened and well I guess some people are pretty much symptom free as they go lower at a slow rate as me and I wonder why it it that I am not ...this is frightful when I see I have more than 1/2 to go still.

[[ka...]]

whatalife,

 

I just wanted to encourage you.............

 

I just ct from xanax, Norco ( Lortab) and Soma ( addictive muscle relaxer).........I ended up on 8mgs of klonopin to stop the terrible ct xanax withdrawal.

 

I understand your fear of feeling like you ct the klonopin but look how low of a dose  you are on already..............I am so looking forward to being that low...I have so far to go.

 

I know how sick the interdose withdrawal makes you, that is what happened to me.    I wanted to wish you the best of luck and you'll be in my prayers!

 

Karen

[[wh...]]

thank you Karen...u will make it!!!!!! this suck I know.

hugs

[[st...]]

Hi there,

 

I am hoping your fear will subside a bit so you can move forward.  You can't worry about what will happen with each cut because it may not be as bad as you fear.  Staying on the benzo is what is making you feel so bad.  You are on a low dose and if you put your mind to it you will be off soon and then you can heal.  Go for it.

 

Patty  xo