Disappointed

[[pa...]]

No, Oscar. Most of us are NOT dealing with addiction. We are dealing with dependence. And these are two completely different concepts.

 

Addiction is the misuse of a drug, escalating the use of a drug, using it more often than is written, seeking several places where you can get more of the drug, etc.

 

Dependence is the state a person's body and in our case, Central Nervous System has reached because of the presence of a drug. Dependence indicates that a person cannot "stop" the drug without suffering - even if they want to.  That is how most of us here experience benzo recovery. We want to be done with this yesterday  - and to never see a benzo again.  You aren't addicted. You are dependent.  You want to run from these pills - but you are strategically tapering to avoid the fallout. And if not for that - you would be completely finished with them altogether.

 

I understand your disappointment with a certain individual if they are requesting your support and if they are abusing benzos "on purpose".  But that person doesn't really fit with the entire benzobuddies premise - which is people who WANT OFF these pills and are looking for how to do it successfully while still surviving.

 

I guess in that case, that person shouldn't expect support in a forum where folks are looking to withdraw.  That person - whoever they are - truly is abusing the drug on purpose - and that's not you.  Nor is it most of us here. 

 

But there is a fine line between judging IF someone is willingly abusing a drug or IF someone is just staving off withdrawal - and I guess I feel that looking at all the subsequest posts on this thread - we need to be wise to remember this. 

 

In my opinion, people shouldn't expect to come to a benzo forum for support if they do not want to be off the drug. 

 

But for those that struggle with the very real discomfort of this journey and may take a few rescue doses to figure things out while they are attempting to find their way on this journey - they should NOT have to read a thread full of posts where people are being judegmental. That is just my opinion.  And you can argue me on it if you like. But I think that all these posts jumping on the bandwagon to judge others - DON'T read with compassion. Reading them - I didn't feel understanding or compassion for other people.

If we stray from that - we fail the purpose of this place.

 

Each person can have their opinion. It's a free, open forum for discussion. But good Lord - let us remember to be intuitive and compassionate for the many people that will read this thread - full of confusion and knee-deep in withdrawal - and not understand. 

If I had read most of this thread in month 3, it woudl have made me feel AWFUL.

 

I try and remember that.  There are people reading this stuff in month 3 - the most notoriously awful time in recovery.  I am ever-mindful of the impact that our words can have... we can build up or tear down.  Let us build up.

 

:)Parker

[[ce...]]

I can't believe you guys! 

 

Ummm.........that's judgement.  The pot calling the kettle black so to speak. Just had to throw that in there. This entire post began with judgement.  Really, everyone judges. Be honest. We all make a decision after reading a post of whether we agree or disagree, that is a judgement.

 

I don't hate anyone here, I do however disagree on occasion. We all disagree on occasion. We aren't going to agree with every post.

[[ce...]]

Well put cedartree.

 

IgotoGod, think of it this way using cedartree's example.  If you wish to counsel the child that started smoking you might say, "that is a poor decision that will have health consequences.  You should reconsider."  Or you might say "Are you a ^&%$#@! idiot!?  Smoking will ^&%$&! kill you!"  I think both approaches have merit, and probably both come from a caring heart.

 

PS I would probably say, "That is a poor decision that will have health consequences you ^&%$#@! idiot! You should reconsider," thereby getting the benefits of both approaches  Good luck,

 

Ramcon1

Ramcon I love your posts. This is cracking me up!  Comedy relief. 

[[ja...]]

Well put cedartree.

 

IgotoGod, think of it this way using cedartree's example.  If you wish to counsel the child that started smoking you might say, "that is a poor decision that will have health consequences.  You should reconsider."  Or you might say "Are you a ^&%$#@! idiot!?  Smoking will ^&%$&! kill you!"  I think both approaches have merit, and probably both come from a caring heart.

 

PS I would probably say, "That is a poor decision that will have health consequences you ^&%$#@! idiot! You should reconsider," thereby getting the benefits of both approaches 

 

Good luck,

 

Ramcon1

Not really a great analogy .. Were No ones Parents here or are they our Children. There Adults who have lost there mind body and soul. If we cant be what this place is for then we shouldn't be here. That's Supportive and Encouraging wether we agree or not. I am 100% healed from this Horrible w/d and Brain trauma .What I had to go thru is Indescribable. I suffered so much .Lost more then I should have. I fought thru the mins and Learned We HEAL from this .Given we follow thru and don't take Rescue doses or Reinstate. But who would I be to make that choice for another?

 

Being disappointed in our child is natural.Its our Job as Parents. But being here our JOB is to support people who Struggle and Suffer. Forcing opinions is so Counter Productive.

Judgement needs to GO..

~Jenny

[[ja...]]

I can't believe you guys! 

 

Ummm.........that's judgement.  The pot calling the kettle black so to speak. Just had to throw that in there. This entire post began with judgement.  Really, everyone judges. Be honest. We all make a decision after reading a post of whether we agree or disagree, that is a judgement.

 

I don't hate anyone here, I do however disagree on occasion. We all disagree on occasion. We aren't going to agree with every post.

Cedartree I can honestly say to you... I do not Judge.To say "Everyone Judges" is a Assumption.

This is a Monster of w/d .I would never Judge anyone for why they felt they needed to reinstate,Wether it be from Suffering, Anxiety,Or even Recreational. Its just not my Place.It shouldnt be anyones here.

[[pa...]]

Cedar, there is a difference between judgement in having an opinion -and the expression of a negative opinion.

 

Making judgements is part of being human. That's where our opinions come from.

Expressing ideas that potentially hurt or isolate others is different.

 

Here - on this forum - we have to be mindful of all others at different stages in recovery.

 

It's too narrow-minded to think that what one person feels within their body - is what another feels.

If buddies that are suffering terribly have not been given another option to reinstating - how could they NOT reinstate?

My point was - we dont' know how another is suffering. I know YOU know how YOU felt - and in your case, as bad as that was, it was not bad enough to reinstate.  Thank God.

But what if it had been 2 times worse?  10 times worse?  How do you know how you might have reacted?

I can admit I realize that however bad it was, it could have been worse.

 

I have watched very supportive, strong, well-meaning buddies here wind up reinstating because medically - there was just no other option.  Coming from a neuro-background - I can see how that might truly be the case. 

Benzo recovery is a relatively new, unexplored area of medicine.  Doctors aren't usually aware of it - and they don't know how to treat it!  Buddies here are left alone to try and self-navigate - and sometimes, symptoms are too great and they must reinstate in order to start again and to be successful. That's no different than if someone is tapering and has to temporarily updose and go more slowly.

WE NEED to keep an open mind.  We don't know how someone tapered, if they went too fast, if they need to reinstate for their safety.

IF someone needed to reinstate or updose or rescue dose - fine. You can have an opinion about that internally. But at least try to understand that their journey might be different from yours - and dare I say - harder than yours was.

That's the point of my post.

 

Words about "judgement" are missing the point. The point is exercising understanding and a caring heart - and recognizing that if their DOCTOR can't help them  - then our telling them "you shouldn't do this or that" isn't helping them. It leaves people feeling like failures just because they can't handle it. It might be that whereas you got a bad gash in your leg - someone else has just had a leg amputated.  We can't know how our own suffering - although awful and real - compares to others.  And on a forum where others read these messages, I think we have to encompass understanding for cases like this.

 

Some folks come here - no medical support, no family support - nothing.  They have no medical alternatives to make it. Some have made heartbreaking permanant choices because they felt they had noplace else to go - and even benzobuddies - folks just kept saying - "hang in there". What if someone can't hang in there?  It would be better to reinstate and potentially find a safer, slower way to get off the drug than to do something to harm themselves.

 

That's the real situation here.  We have to adopt the undertanding that people are on a continuum of need and suffering.  We have to stay objective to others, even if we know what is best for our own selves. 

 

There are buddies I have seen reinstate that I WISH I could have offered them Remeron just as an alternative BEFORE that choice.  (Can't hurt to try Remeron if you are just going to go back on benzos anyhow.)  I am keenly aware that sometimes - staying off benzos is physiologically (not mentally - not emotionally - but physiologically) impossible - depending on the state of the body.

 

We would do well to remember this. It does not good to mince words. The larger concept here is whether you can "allow" that another person may have a dfferent experience than your own and may need to take a different path.

 

If we judge others who reinstate, would we judge them for updosing if on a taper?

If we judge others who reinstate, aren't we the same as the doctors that don't understand why we can't just cut a pill in half and take less for a week and then jump?

 

There are all sorts of misunderstandings and unidentified things going on in benzo withdrawal and recovery.

Let us allow for that and set our thoughts and speech accordingly.  That's all I'm saying.

 

If half the doctors could be this open-minded and compassionate and allow for the fact that some of us are REALLY that physiologically bad - then maybe they would begin to believe that this is real.

 

:)Parker

[[IG...]]

Oscar,

I know you've been suffering with this last cut.

You can do this.

Our emotions start flooding our body when we get to lower doses.

It happens to all of us.

It's not us it the withdrawal.

 

Your doing great! 

 

Bless you for all your good works!

 

Molly. 

 

 

[[os...]]

OK, it seems i caused a few ruffles by my other thread, so here goes.

 

I was never in tolerance as far as i can tell. I took Librium for 22 years and i am not free yet.

 

I will be alcohol free 2 years by the end of this month, when i got sober i went to AA and after a few months life got so much better.

 

My self esteem started coming back, my independence, everything started to look so much brighter, i had hope, life was starting to get good again, i felt strong and i started to feel i had everything going for me.

 

At that point i still took Librium in the evenings, in AA i eventually got to thinking i needed to be off it, i no longer drank and i thought i no longer needed the Librium, so i cut 5mgs and all Hell broke loose.

 

I found Jana over at BDR and i started to even my doses out over not just the evening but the day also, i hated doing this as at least before i was "free" of the drug in the day times, yet ever since i started tapering i have really had some challenges over the past 18 months.

 

I had to stop AA.

 

Everything that was good went completely.

 

At times i was bedridden during the first 8 months of my taper, i had NO energy at one point, even taking a bath and getting dressed left me exhausted.

 

For 7.5 months i tapered daily without a single hold, merely adjusting my cuts as i came down as and when i started to feel bad, yet last February, i tried to push on despite feeling symptomatic and i had massive panic attacks that made me feel like i was going mad, i literally felt like i was clinging to reality with everything i had, it was absolutely terrifying.

 

A week after the panic attacks i felt huge adrenaline surges in my body every morning, even the click of a light switch would go right through me, i was agoraphobic and paranoid, i could not be left alone for even 10 minutes, i was actually scared of losing it alone and not having any control over my actions, i was scared for my own safety at that point.

 

THIS is why i get disappointed when i hear of others reinstating in the absence of symptoms.

 

The truth is there probably were symptoms, i do not buy that anyone starts again because they feel like it.

 

This is exactly the reason why i taper as slowly as i am because i have not seen a good outcome of anyone coming of these drugs faster, i have just not seen it and yet i was told that this was basically over by the equivalent of 2mgs of Valium, the dose where i will be at in the third quarter of this coming year... and yet it still seems that to stay off can be extremely hard going and this is why i am glad i did not take any advice and try and get off this drug sooner.

 

There are not enough success stories and it bothers me how i am tapering so very slowly and yet there is still no guarantee this gets better once off for awhile, even Ashton does not make it clear that a long taper greatly improves the actual jump off point, it really, really irks me how so many disappear on here after getting free.

 

Is this simply a case of getting free too fast for our symptoms? I think so.

 

Clearly there is a BIG difference between being at even 1mg of Valium and being off.

 

So yes, i do get disappointed, not just for anyone that reinstates but for others here, myself included, my taper will last a total of 4 years, i am just a year and a half into this and much better for it, yet i am taking this next mg very slowly and in a year i hope to be at the equivalent of 2mgs of Valium, then i will more than likely take another 2 years to lose the final 2mgs.

 

Extreme?

 

Maybe.

 

Yet i just do not see enough results here from anyone that went faster, i would say to those that CT´ed that are still in pain at 30 months, hang in there, you must all be so very close to getting there now, i taper according to how i feel and the result is going to take me not months but years to get completely free, i still question this and yet i refuse to suffer more than i have to... free in my mind is not just being off the drug but being virtually free of symptoms also and yet i have studied this site enough and i do not believe that one year long tapers cut it for most of us here, not even 2 year tapers, i would say that a 3 year taper is actually not as mad as it sounds... i am going even further given my length of use, not because i do not want off, because i want that more than anything, yet i am not prepared to get free simply to suffer and have to go back... failure for me is not an option, it just isn´t.

 

This is a one time deal for me, i have suffered so much in the past 18 months, i simply could not do this all over again, in that respect, this has to work, the time frame involved is insane but then so many seem to have the same wait that got free sooner, in that regard i am tapering according to the length of time i figure it takes someone like me to actually get well, whether or not symptoms will resurface at zero or not remains to be seen, that is the insidious part of this, there simply is not enough evidence to state that a long taper does pay off but there are a few here that have stated it has helped a great deal and that healing still goes on even after a 2 year taper... i feel it already but i know this is not a linear process.

 

I am getting better but from the days when i would walk home from AA meeting feeling full of hope and that life was good, i sure as heck had no idea that i would end up tapering off a "mild" tranquilizer for 4 years with much loss of quality of life (although it is much better already), if i had known, i probably would not have bothered but you know, i am glad i am because life is slowly becoming better again, colours are more vivid and i can feel more again and i just know that it will get better if i stay the course, yet that does not mean i do not get disappointed when i see others fall as in my opinion, anyone who reinstates obviously feels bad and that is the sole reason why i am going so slowly at this, in some vain attempt to actually  reduce symptoms post taper, it´s all i have and all i can do at this stage and yes, hearing of others that reinstate is disappointing, yet maybe, just maybe the taper was not slow enough, it´s all i can think of.

 

I just hope and pray that after a 4 year taper, this is pretty much over, i have already decided to give myself a full year to be free and if life is absolute misery after "freedom" day for that year, then i would say it was not worth it, yet something tells me it will be, i simply do not buy that anyone that tapers as slow as i am can still have major problems that many years out... if there is no recovery within 5 years, i would regret ever having tried myself, there comes a point when the cessation of the drug seems unlikely to ever feel right, yet i am still plugging along in the hope that life gets good again at some point, i just know that for me to go back, i would have to be in a whole world of pain and i pray it never comes to that, it is not the drug i fear, it is the fact that i know, if i ever reinstated, i would be on this drug for life... i really do not want this time spent tapering to be wasted, i may as well go and take a pill now, yet i am in this to recover and whilst not easy, i still believe it is doable... and i feel for anyone that goes back, there obviously are reasons, i just cannot fathom why anyone would want to do this over and over again... maybe some just need these drugs? I don´t know anymore, i am just baffled... i guess for some of us this is too hard, i just hope i make it off and can remain that way... i do not believe benzo´s are mentally addicting, i believe it is a physical addiction and once broken, if in a manner that allows healing, life should be better off but i get that we are all different and i get that some probably do need to be on for life... yet one thing is glaringly obvious to me, a slow cessation of benzo´s seems to me to be the only way out and yes, that can take years, i am just grateful it gets better as i get lower and i still hold out hope that actual freedom is possible and anyone that has rapid tapered off or CT ´ed and are still fighting have my absolute admiration, i believe we all get there in the end, it´s just a very, very long journey and i get that it is down to the individual to ascertain whether or not to remain free with the help of a GP, we are all different, some here probably have pre-existing anxiety that is separate from benzo´s, yet i still believe given time, we all heal from this, other conditions may remain and at some stage the quality of life issue arises, so no, i do not judge but i feel disappointed, i don´t just have hopes and dreams for myself, i have hopes and dreams for others that walk this road also and disappointment is a feeling, i wish we all to get well and go on to a better life... after all, that is why we come here in the first place.

 

Sorry, i just needed to ramble here today.

 

Oscar

[[os...]]

I have tried to explain my posting here in a new thread, i posted when i was tired and disappointed and angry because i care, not because i am judging, yet i was also disappointed because i like to have others to look to in this also, i am always full of hope when others get free.

 

Anyways, i posted another thread but Parker is right, this whole sorry mess can be too much on some and if suffering is intolerable, then i get it, yet i get the disappointment too.

 

:'(

 

Oscar

[[ho...]]

Yes a better life for all of us Oscar.

[[Ho...]]

As a point of moderation, and this post is not directed at any one person....

 

I understand the strong reactions many are having here. I understand how frustrating it must be for those who have struggled to get off these medications, to read that someone has decided to reinstate. This is a natural reaction. However, as it is true with method of tapering, whether a member decides to reinstate or not, is a personal decision. There are productive ways to express concern to these members. Judgements and name calling is not the way. When you approach someone in this manner your point rarely gets across. If your intent is compassion and loving concern then post as such. I have seen name calling, the "tough love" approach and much worse on this forum, whether it's been about a member's choice of taper method or their decision to reinstate. We even have some members who have decided not to get off benzodiazepines. We are not an anti-benzodiazepine site. If a member chooses to reinstate, that's is their choice. If you feel you want to give them the benefit of your own experience and knowledge so that they can make an informed decision, please do that in a respectful manner. If a member decides they will not taper their benzodiazepine, that needs to be respected.

 

This all boils down to respect. Yes, help your fellow buddies with compassion and your thoughts. But when it resorts to name calling, rude behaviour and general disrespect not only do you violate the guidelines of the forum but your message is entirely lost.

[[Wi...]]

Hi Oscar,

 

I would suggest that you are more scared than disappointed when you witness others reinstating.  Disappointment  is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.  My guess is that you are actually more worried that if someone else having gone through this mess, chose to reinstate, the possibility exists for you as well.  And speaking for myself, that is a frightening thought.  But the good news is that the decision, however we go, is entirely in our own hands.  Just like no one here can choose for someone else to reinstate or not, no one but ourselves can choose for us what actions we take. 

 

Keep strong in your beliefs that you are doing what is right and necessary for you Oscar, even after this whole ordeal is over and odds are very good that benzos will only be something that was in your past and have virtually nothing to do with your future.

 

I could be wrong in my interpretation of how you are feeling Oscar, it's just IMHO.

 

WWWI

[[Ho...]]

Hi Oscar,

 

I would suggest that you are more scared than disappointed when you witness others reinstating.  Disappointment  is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.  My guess is that you are actually more worried that if someone else having gone through this mess, chose to reinstate, the possibility exists for you as well.  And speaking for myself, that is a frightening thought.  But the good news is that the decision, however we go, is entirely in our own hands.  Just like no one here can choose for someone else to reinstate or not, no one but ourselves can choose for us what actions we take. 

 

Keep strong in your beliefs that you are doing what is right and necessary for you Oscar, even after this whole ordeal is over and odds are very good that benzos will only be something that was in your past and have virtually nothing to do with your future.

 

I could be wrong in my interpretation of how you are feeling Oscar, it's just IMHO.

 

WWWI

 

I think this is spot on for many here WWWI. When I see a thread get contentious and people getting angry, I realize that fear has got to be at the back of it. Well said, WWWI.

[[pa...]]

Hi Oscar,

 

I would suggest that you are more scared than disappointed when you witness others reinstating.  Disappointment  is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.  My guess is that you are actually more worried that if someone else having gone through this mess, chose to reinstate, the possibility exists for you as well.  And speaking for myself, that is a frightening thought.  But the good news is that the decision, however we go, is entirely in our own hands.  Just like no one here can choose for someone else to reinstate or not, no one but ourselves can choose for us what actions we take. 

 

Keep strong in your beliefs that you are doing what is right and necessary for you Oscar, even after this whole ordeal is over and odds are very good that benzos will only be something that was in your past and have virtually nothing to do with your future.

 

I could be wrong in my interpretation of how you are feeling Oscar, it's just IMHO.

 

WWWI

 

I think this is spot on for many here WWWI. When I see a thread get contentious and people getting angry, I realize that fear has got to be at the back of it. Well said, WWWI.

 

Agreed.  And well said.

[[os...]]

Of course there is fear, maybe disappointment was the wrong word, although i felt angry too, not at that person but anger at the drug and the seeming impossibility of this at times.

 

This person has been a real help to me and i have tried in my own way to be supportive, yet i hope all comes right for them, i still think it will but as we are all different here, some have other stuff going on and that person pointed that out to me a long time ago, we are many and varied here and yet i just hope this ends for us all at some point that´s all.

 

I don´t think there is anything wrong in being disappointed, when we see others doing well and then this happens, it is not a dissatisfaction, it is more a despairing feeling, yet we only know ourselves in all of this and i trust anyone that reinstates has their reasons and even in the absence of symptoms, it is not for me to say what is right or wrong, it is just not the outcome i had hoped for them that´s all... my posts were not intended to upset anyone, yet i won´t deny my own fears as to what life is going to be like on the other side, i´ll be hanging in there no matter what, i guess some stuff has to be tolerated before it gets better, just how much remains to be seen...

 

Oscar

[[Wi...]]

Hi Oscar,

 

I would suggest that you are more scared than disappointed when you witness others reinstating.  Disappointment  is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.  My guess is that you are actually more worried that if someone else having gone through this mess, chose to reinstate, the possibility exists for you as well.  And speaking for myself, that is a frightening thought.  But the good news is that the decision, however we go, is entirely in our own hands.  Just like no one here can choose for someone else to reinstate or not, no one but ourselves can choose for us what actions we take. 

 

Keep strong in your beliefs that you are doing what is right and necessary for you Oscar, even after this whole ordeal is over and odds are very good that benzos will only be something that was in your past and have virtually nothing to do with your future.

 

I could be wrong in my interpretation of how you are feeling Oscar, it's just IMHO.

 

WWWI

 

I think this is spot on for many here WWWI. When I see a thread get contentious and people getting angry, I realize that fear has got to be at the back of it. Well said, WWWI.

I absolutely agree Hope.  Fear does some very mean, ugly things.

 

WWWI

[[ra...]]

I am (in)famous for being a big fan of "tough love."  Here goes:

 

Oscar,

 

Two years to get off is a royal waste of time and unneeded sufferring.  From your post describing your withdrawal, you have been and are going thru a lot, and are one tough mf.  I guarantee it will not be that much worse if you kill the last 7mg in 3 months or so.  Whatever you go thru during your taper you have to repeat at a lower level when you jump. Get off as quickly as is reasonable, and you will be further on your road quicker.

 

WWWI,

 

Don't let your doctor keep you at 3mg against your will.  He probably does not understand withdrawal as well you you do.  You also seem a tough, smart person, and I hope you also can beat this sooner rather than later.

 

I hereby judge myself insensitive, but anyone who knows me knows if I am anything it is compassionate (and arrogant

 

Good luck and be well,

 

Ramcon1

[[ti...]]

I think WWWI hit it dead on. 

 

Also, there are a lot of people who do manage to get off the benzos but switch to some equally brain disabling drug and then get all sanctimonious about someone reinstating or taking a rescue dose of benzo.    I don't care what people do to get through this nightmare but I do think this is hypocritical. 

[[Wi...]]

ramcon1,

 

As far as my situation with the taper and holding per my MD. Truth is I am going against the doctors recommendation and continuing my taper, albeit a little slower.  His concern was that this all would be simpler to determine how the thryoid meds are working if there were fewer variables.  And while I agree with that, my decision to continue the taper won out for the following reasons: 

 

-One,  I realized there is no actual danger to me to continue the taper since it was simply really just for clarity purposes and

 

-Two, if infact, w/d impacts getting my thryoid levels stable, whether I taper now or later, they will be impacted and I thought it best to see what happens sooner rather then later, while the doctor is still new and engaged rather than later when the levels are stable and I'm not a shiny, new patient lol and

 

-Three, the idea of holding this taper and extending it any longer than was absolutely necessary was making me absolutely insane.

 

-Four - Since it is clear to me that Graves' reared it's ugly head, shortly after I started this whole benzo circus, and physical stress on the body is thought to be a possible factor in the initiation of the disease (with other factors), if there is even a remote chance that the longer I am done with tapering and further away from w/d, there is even a slightly increased chance of remission, especially because my doctor has given me one year on the antithyroid meds to see if I will go into remission or else he'll nuke my thyroid, the sooner I'm off this the better.

 

BTW were you being "tough loving" with me in that post?  I seemed to have missed that part lol

 

I'm sorry for hijacking the thread with this lol...back to our regularily scheduled programming...

 

WWWI

[[ra...]]

WWWI,

 

I thought you were holding because some uniformed doctor counseled you to do so.  I was almost right, but you knew better!  Fo rwhat it is worth, I pride myself on logic, and yours looks spot on.

 

You must be wise

 

OK Oscar, your turn!

 

ramcon1

[[Wi...]]

WWWI,

 

I thought you were holding because some uniformed doctor counseled you to do so.  I was almost right, but you knew better!  Fo rwhat it is worth, I pride myself on logic, and yours looks spot on.

 

You must be wise

 

OK Oscar, your turn!

 

ramcon1

Ramcon,

 

While I appreciate you looking out for me in the big bad world of medicine, I do have to say I am challenged by your statement to Oscar stating:

 

"Two years to get off is a royal waste of time and unneeded sufferring.  From your post describing your withdrawal, you have been and are going thru a lot, and are one tough mf.  I guarantee it will not be that much worse if you kill the last 7mg in 3 months or so.  Whatever you go thru during your taper you have to repeat at a lower level when you jump. Get off as quickly as is reasonable, and you will be further on your road quicker."

 

I believe there is no possible way you could know that about Oscar's experience, or anyone's experience for that matter, other than your own.  1. You can't guarantee sh** 2. Who are you to determine how long is a "royal waste of time an unneeded suffering?" and finally 3.  What superpower  or divine information do you possess that would give you the knowledge about what is going to happen when Oscar jumps or that by speeding up the porcess will take him further on his road quicker?!?!

 

I don't think that's tough love, I think it's just opinionated, not based on squat and unhelpful.

 

As a fan of tough love, I'm hoping you can appreciate my candor.

 

WWWI

[[Vr...]]

I'm the mystery person who Oscar referred to.  I made the mistake of confiding to him about my recent struggles with reenstatement.

 

I don't think it's appropriate to use the forum to attack another member by deftly keeping it anonymous.  "I'm not naming any names but..." and then go on to trash the individual.  I was BLINDSIDED.

 

I think Parker and some of the moderators, especially Hope1962, were right on about this sort of posting.  Probably others too.  Thanks.

 

Verne

[[Ho...]]

I'm the mystery person who Oscar referred to.  I made the mistake of confiding to him about my recent struggles with reenstatement.

 

I don't think it's appropriate to use the forum to attack another member by deftly keeping it anonymous.  "I'm not naming any names but..." and then go on to trash the individual.  I was BLINDSIDED.

 

I think Parker and some of the moderators, especially Hope1962, were right on about this sort of posting.  Probably others too.  Thanks.

 

Verne

 

I'm sorry you're in the center of this Vribble.   I have to agree, this wasn't fair. You are certainly entitled to do what you feel is best for you without having to worry about becoming the subject of a thread such as this.

 

 

 

 

[[pi...]]

ramcon1,

 

As far as my situation with the taper and holding per my MD. Truth is I am going against the doctors recommendation and continuing my taper, albeit a little slower.  His concern was that this all would be simpler to determine how the thryoid meds are working if there were fewer variables.  And while I agree with that, my decision to continue the taper won out for the following reasons: 

 

-One,  I realized there is no actual danger to me to continue the taper since it was simply really just for clarity purposes and

 

-Two, if infact, w/d impacts getting my thryoid levels stable, whether I taper now or later, they will be impacted and I thought it best to see what happens sooner rather then later, while the doctor is still new and engaged rather than later when the levels are stable and I'm not a shiny, new patient lol and

 

-Three, the idea of holding this taper and extending it any longer than was absolutely necessary was making me absolutely insane.

 

-Four - Since it is clear to me that Graves' reared it's ugly head, shortly after I started this whole benzo circus, and physical stress on the body is thought to be a possible factor in the initiation of the disease (with other factors), if there is even a remote chance that the longer I am done with tapering and further away from w/d, there is even a slightly increased chance of remission, especially because my doctor has given me one year on the antithyroid meds to see if I will go into remission or else he'll nuke my thyroid, the sooner I'm off this the better.

 

BTW were you being "tough loving" with me in that post?  I seemed to have missed that part lol

 

I'm sorry for hijacking the thread with this lol...back to our regularily scheduled programming...

 

WWWI

 

WWW, you are amazing! 

[[pi...]]

I'm the mystery person who Oscar referred to.  I made the mistake of confiding to him about my recent struggles with reenstatement.

 

I don't think it's appropriate to use the forum to attack another member by deftly keeping it anonymous.  "I'm not naming any names but..." and then go on to trash the individual.  I was BLINDSIDED.

 

I think Parker and some of the moderators, especially Hope1962, were right on about this sort of posting.  Probably others too.  Thanks.

 

Verne

 

Vribble,

 

This is your life and your choice.  The larger community here at BB respects your decisions.  I'm sorry if this thread has caused you any distress.

 

pianogirl