Protracted benzo withdrawal

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I came across this article which I want to share. Don't know if I have posted it in the right place and apologies if it has been posted before sometime. There is much stuff on this guys website too.

 

http://www.willbenzo.com/The%20Duration%20of%20the%20Post-Benzo%20Illness.htm

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Thanks for posting this as I hadn't seen it before.  Although I am officially in protracted w/d at 26 months off this article was reassuring to me that I will eventually recover from this painful illness.  That is more really good news.

[[Co...]]

Hi Whoopsie, What sx do you still have? Be honest..it wont scare me. Hope you are at least doing ok today. Love, Colleen

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Colleen ... wish the PM system was available for this question.  I'll get back to this later tonight okay?  I don't want to forget so I'm posting this quick note.

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Hi again Colleen,

 

The reason that this article brought me comfort was that it mentioned people still suffering from muscle spasms a long way off and that is exactly where I'm at.  It seems to center in the neck but is also very tight and painful in the throat muscles as well.  It radiates up the back of my head.  Hurts alot.  I am way, way better than I was in the first year.  The problem with it being on-going is that I'm getting worn out ... sometimes the coping mechanisms fade when I get weak and boy I get cranky and miserable somedays.

 

Honestly the first year off I felt like I was being electrocuted and then suddenly that shut off and since then I've been healing from the electrocution.

 

I'm kind of like you Colleen in that I have a hard time talking about all this publicly but do have a couple of friends who are also in protracted that I can share the details with.  I never would have thought that this could last this long but it has and all I can do is keep the faith that I too will recover.

[[Co...]]

hi Whoopsie, Thankyou so much for your reply. It is hard to talk about things on the open forum isnt it? Initially I was kind of embarassed that this happened to me. Tried to be perfect all my life..which isnt possible. I have neck stuff too. Am worn out like you too. I find myself laying on the couch too much recently and I have not done that in a while. I could never have believed this could go on so long either. I vibrate fom my neck down, really hard, so that Im nauseous. I have inner vibes and under skin vibs like popcorn or something. I hope you heal really soon, you have been at this long enough and deserve a break. Thanks for staying on the boards and posting. Its reassuring to me in a weird way. I hope we can keep in touch somehow. Love, Colleen

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It sure is hard to talk on the open forum for me too and I'm sure there are many others that feel the same way.  I envy those that can be so open and unafraid to put themselves out there.  I think shame is a big part of this and perfectionism as you said.  I'm darn near having an anxiety attack doing this.  LOL  It's almost as if this is my fault ... that I'm doing something wrong.  People get ill all the time ... it is part of life ... the self-blame is crippling.

 

The PM system is invalueable for folks like us.  We are loathe to scare other people too that this might happen to them ... that is a big part of the hiding as well for me now.  Hopefully the PM system comes back soon and we can connect there Colleen.

 

I do firmly believe that we will heal ... it is just taking longer for whatever reason.  I know that we are good people too and deserve to feel good again and WE WILL. 

[[Co...]]

Hi Whoopsie, I reled on pms too...hopefully they will be back soon. I understand they enc participation on the boards etc but it still remains a huge challenge for me. My coping skills are a bit absent today. So thankyou for talking to me. I feel out of place a lot and lonely with some of my sx. Nerve pain is constant and severe. Anyway, thankyou for the encouragement. Love, Colleen

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You're welcome and thank you too.  It is lovely to connect with people that are going thru the same thing you are because you are right it does feel lonely thinking you are suffering by yourself.  We are not alone though are we Colleen?  I noticed that until very recently I was referring to this as nerve pain because that is what it felt like.  It was only yesterday that the stinging stopped so that I could notice that my muscles are very tight.  I think that that is progress!!!    Am I grasping for hope or what?  LOL

 

We are in this together and will ride it out to the end side by side.  I'm not going anywhere and trust me once this is done I will be singing from the rooftops offering the same promises that I have received from others that this is temporary.  In the meantime we get thru one more day as best we can.  I've read your recent posts and see how loving and helpful that you are to others.  I am happy to have met you.

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Healing will continue. There is no time frame though, so don't give up on it.  It's slow but it's there.  

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Healing will continue. There is no time frame though, so don't give up on it.  It's slow but it's there.  

 

  :'(  Thank you so much for the reassurances.  How are you doing Tropical Soul?

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Healing will continue. There is no time frame though, so don't give up on it.  It's slow but it's there.  

 

  :'(  Thank you so much for the reassurances.  How are you doing Tropical Soul?

 

Aside from this little sinus issue I've been dealing with this week I'm doing GREAT!    Life is better than ever.  Don't give up the fight because it's all worth it. Healing is very slow, sometimes so slow you don't think it's happening but when you look back you can see it. Even the nerve pain, which was very intense and my worse symptom, continues to heal. At times it's completely gone and I thought that symptom would be around forever.  I never thought I would feel this good again. 

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Thank you so much for your reply Tropical Soul ... very encouraging.  So sweet of you to post on this thread.  I have come to terms with this lasting another year or two or three at the rate of healing that I have seen so far.  You are right I have healed from so much already when I look back.  Today I would say that I am 70% better so that is pretty huge.  I'm so glad you are still around ... you are coming up on 4 years free ... what a trip you've been on huh?  That is great that you are having lots of "feeling good" days and I hope that the sinus issue is resolved soon.  Thanks again. 

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Thank you so much for your reply Tropical Soul ... very encouraging.  So sweet of you to post on this thread.  I have come to terms with this lasting another year or two or three at the rate of healing that I have seen so far.  You are right I have healed from so much already when I look back.  Today I would say that I am 70% better so that is pretty huge.  I'm so glad you are still around ... you are coming up on 4 years free ... what a trip you've been on huh?  That is great that you are having lots of "feeling good" days and I hope that the sinus issue is resolved soon.  Thanks again. 

 

You're very welcome. 

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It's funny, but people seem to cling to the idea that it takes 6-24 months to get better, you can't get better before 6 months and you can't be sick more than 24. Neither is true.

 

I hope you find 100% Whoopsie. But after all you've been through, I imagine 70% ain't that bad. At least you are mentally 100%. Be very very proud of yourself that you have stuck this out for so ridiculously long.

[Guest [Si...]]

I agree with Xeno,

 

The timeline is unknown, but people have got better before 6 months.

 

The timeline to healing is just unknown.

 

 

[[Co...]]

Hi Whoopsie, thankyou for the kind words...they mean soooo much. Glad to have met you too. TS, you continue to be such an inspiration. Thankyou for giving us an encouraging update esp regarding the nerve pain. Wishing you all the best in life. Dont want to say much more..Im emotional today, letting come out what I ALWAYS keep in. Love to you both. Colleen

[[Wh...]]

Wow Colleen maybe a blog is the best idea for both of us.  This is great right?  You are doing yourself a great service by letting go even if it feels dreadfully umcomfortable. 

 

Xeno - thank you so much for the validation  :'( 

 

TS - I don't think Ive seen you before today but am reading your blog ... it's a long one but I'm finding it very enlightening and sure appreciate all your efforts at getting well and taking this wild journey ahead of me.