do you ever feel rested

[[we...]]

I'm just starting to sleep some nights at 5 1/2 months ( 3 good nights in a week), but still exhausted.  How long does it take to feel rested?

[[Ho...]]

Well you're much farther ahead than me, so obviously my answer is no, I never really feel rested, especially as soon as I wake up. I can only dream of the day right now....

[[we...]]

i wonder whether benzo brain causes us to feel tired no matter what, sleep or no sleep

[[ar...]]

I have been able to sleep but I don't feel rested.  I think it is the benzo brain. I actually find myself sleeping too much and am pretty worthless for the rest of the day.

[[we...]]

right now, I would love to sleep too much, it's healing time for you.  Sleep = healing.

[[Ho...]]

I agree that it's benzo brain. I will sometimes sleep for 8 hours but still do not feel rested no matter what. Almost always tired and slurring words.

 

How did you cope if you are only just now being able to sleep?

[[we...]]

holly, it was benzo-hell.  My brain just shut down and I cried for days and days but cannot take drugs, that's what got me there.  I've been bed ridden for the last month.  I'm just getting out of bed now, I still sleep like crap, but the few hours I get are more restorative.  It's not benzo hours of sleep anymore, mostly.  Stay on trazadone for a while since you are already on it.

[[Be...]]

Hell no! Lol. Catastrohic fatigue is one of the main features of my benzo w/d. I haven't slept 8 hours in years. I used to sleep 9 no prob Everyday I am forced to get by after waking up just as tired as when I went to bed. I really hope I sleep again.........What does rested feel like? I've forgotten

[[we...]]

I don't even feel sleepy, every, just exhausted.  Almost  6 months off.

[[Be...]]

It's interesting you make this distinction wellness. Exhaustion is very different than being sleepy. I experience both, but much more exhaustion. It's like you think you could sleep for a week with your energy level, but when you lay your head down, your body/mind just won't shut down. That's how it is for me anyhow.

[[xe...]]

I feel both sleepy and exhausted. I have not felt rested in longer than I care to remember. Even while "stable" on 1mg I almost never felt rested despite sleeping seemingly well.

[[De...]]

When sleep started coming back, I too slept 3 nights out of the week.  it was my record week after week, then gradually it built to 4 nights and so on.  I still have nights where some hours are worse than others, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Most of my sleepless nights are due to my menstrual cycle however.  I am by no means healed all the way, but I wanted to let you know that I also had those 3 day windows...you will get even better and feel rested as more time passes. 

 

[[we...]]

Thanks for the encouragement.  Sleep deprivations sucks.

[[sc...]]

Hi Wellness,      I just had 2 weeks with hardly any sleep followed by 3 or 4 nights with almost 7 hours, waking up several times. Tonight I fell right to sleep and then woke up an hour later in panic! Man this sleep crap stinks! We are close in time out and I am right there with you. Sorry for your suffering, all I can offer is understanding!    Scott

[Guest [Ma...]]

I agree that it's benzo brain. I will sometimes sleep for 8 hours but still do not feel rested no matter what. Almost always tired and slurring words.

 

 

Could be the Trazadone.

[[ma...]]

Hi Wellness. Don't know if you received my personal reply. I'm not good with this computer stuff. I was out of town for 2 weeks. I had to take Benedryl every nite in order to enjoy the trip. Last nite I had some wine, as I did on the trip. I slept pretty well while traveling thanks to Benedryl. Last nite, no benedryl, no sleep. As you can see I am up at 4 am after lying awake since 2:30. The melatonin, tryptophan and wine helped me get to sleep...not stay asleep. I am almost 6 mos off and I wonder if I will ever sleep. I am going to try to get off the wine again, which will be another withdrawal, then will work on stopping the benedryl. It was so nice sleeping for 6 or 7 hrs on the trip with benedryl, now I am back to no sleep again. I was so happy to be back in my own bed...now if I could just sleep, drug free.

I must have a really messed up brain. How can you not sleep when you are exhausted? Maybe my brain isn't healing because I am drinking wine. I feel so deprived if I can't have it at weddings, parties, etc. On the otherhand, I need to sleep to have a life. I keep making typing errors...lack of sleep I guess. I really do think there are some of us who just have more problem with sleep...something about our nervous systems. Glad I'm not alone, tho I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Kathi

[[we...]]

Thanks for your reply.  Was to tired to reply.

[[Su...]]

For over a week now i have slept consistently 6-8 hours per night...I'm at 62.5mgs of Trazodone...sometimes I worry about it's side effects but then I just read of others who are off as long as I am and they are going through the exact same thing and they aren't taking anything...so I've stopped worrying about the Trazodone.

 

Despite this consistent sleeping I am exhausted every day all day...i think our bodies are so tired from working so hard to deal with all the w/d issues and sleep deprivation and it's gonna take a while to get back to normal.

 

 

[[Su...]]

I agree that it's benzo brain. I will sometimes sleep for 8 hours but still do not feel rested no matter what. Almost always tired and slurring words.

 

 

Could be the Trazadone.

 

I doubt it's the Trazodone as many are suffering w/the exact same things and are not on Trazodone...however, Holly...I cut down slowly to 62.5mgs of Trazodone and do feel a little more alert...but i don't encourage you to deal w/starting any taper at all until you are more healed from benzo w/d. I am 9 1/2 months off and just now am able to do that...the Trazodone didn't even work for me the first few months off, so if it is helping you at all to get some sleep just try to be patient and deal w/that taper later.

[Guest [CM...]]

Hi Julie

I hope you are having a better day... Sleep will come back... I struggle with that the most as you know....

I just had my 4th night of sleeping 8 hrs... 2 of the nights I woke up once to use the bathroom and was awake for 30 minutes or so BUT I did go back.. This is all new in the last few weeks (being able to go back to sleep after waking up middle of the night)...I was 7 months yesterday, 7-10-11, so it's really time and not taking any drugs or massive supplements or drinking and eating healthy (for me)... I know many have to take a sleep med., and I know how awful and dangerous insomnia can be.... I just know for me, they all made me worse and messed with my super sensitive brain chemistry...

 

I know that you are doing ALL of the right things and that you will heal as well... I know it... If you would have told me a month ago that I would start sleeping 8 hour nights more than one night here and there (collapsing out of pure exhaustion), I would have never believed it... I still have a ways to go but the anxiety is less and the sleeping is more... sleep is just now beginning to become more restful as well. Not like pre-drug sleep, but it is slowly getting better. There is hope. It will come back for you too. I too thought I was brain damaged and permanently broken.. I know I am healing and you are too. It's just time and clean living...

 

I know people have asked how you survive without sleeping for days or sleeping for an hour or two here and there......I know that feeling as well... I went months and months only sleeping 1-2 hrs a night and being glued to the couch and the computer and this site and other benzo sites daily all day.... I would pray for mercy, for it all to end, one way or another.... even if it meant ending my life. I suffered terribly with lack of sleep... I knew for me that there was no drug that was going to help me... I am also too sensitive. I had to endure.... I did try tart cherry, magnesium and various other supplements that really made me worse..... nothing has helped but time... I am recently trying Hyland's Insomnia recommended by Holly. I like it, very much, maybe it's really helping or maybe it's not, BUT I know it's NOT hurting at all. I do think it might be making some small correction. I am a believer in homeopathic medicine, and prior to being Rx'd Remeron I had never taken any drugs... so maybe the homeos agree with me... hard to say.. This has all been so unreal....!!!

 

I am at 7 months and although I am not healed, I do have days where I feel normal. I would say I am 80-85% now... That's huge for me... Many here do not know me, as there are so many new people coming in sadly.... I have struggled with sleep and vomiting and anxiety, panic, terror, agoraphobia and every other symptom in the book (except burning - never had that one).... I have had a year plus of sheer h3ll!!! I have begged to die, I have googled ways to do it, I made a will, you name it, I was heading that way because of the agony I was in.... I now see that i am finally healing....

 

To all of you ahead of me who told me it was just time, I wanted to reach thru the computer and just shake you for the real truth..... now I know it really is TIME... For all of those by my side... we are doing this TOGETHER... Leigh, Linder, Julie, Peter, Nic, Mary, Lisa, JG, Marlene, Mishi -  hang in there, we are getting there.....

 

Things that help me... walking outside, kundalini healing yoga, going gluten free (I was always sugar free), green juicing, continuing to eat organic and local whenever possible, eliminated cow dairy... drink almond milk, goat and sheep cheeses... my husband who has been my rock through this - he has been a huge part of my healing. On the days when I couldn't bare to go on, I did it for him... NO caffeine or alcohol has passed these lips in over a year.. I know that it would hurt me (and I used to live in the Bay area and spent plenty of time driving to Napa and Sonoma to consume wine!!!! - I was and still am a wine lover - someday I will enjoy it again. For now I abstain). I am totally Ok with this...

 

See wellness, I always hijack your threads... sorry, sorry, sorry!!!!

 

Am I healed and perfect, not at all, but am I healing - H3ll YES!!!!!

I hope and pray that at my one year mark 12-10-11, I will be pretty darn close and able to go to Brazil for the summer (their summer - 2 months). That's my goal. To be with my husband's family who has believed in us, prayed for us, loved us and pulled us through the darkest days.... I have lost so much.... my house, my car, most of my business, my savings, my friends, and my mind at times... this has been the longest, darkest road filled with loneliness and despair.. BUT NOW I do see the light... I'm not quite at the end of the tunnel, but I see the light - and for once it's not an oncoming train!!!!!

 

healing does happen... trust the girl who used to puke on her bedroom floor daily, puked on myself, in my hair, dislocated my knee crawling to the bathroom, have been so agoraphobic I could not go from room to room in my apartment or shower with the curtain closed... I have come so far... and you will too. I KNOW IT!

 

I wish I kept a log or blog, but it's all still in my head.... I know how bad it was and I know I am healing.

This is the slowest process ever...... but it's possible.

 

Keep the faith Julie. I promise you, if i can heal, anyone can heal....

Much love to you always

You friend

Melo (80%)

xoxoxoxo

[[sc...]]

Wow Melo! Thanks for the post!

[Guest [CM...]]

My pleasure Scott.

 

We do not know each other, but trust me... I have survived sheer h3ll.... have not worked outside the house in a year - except a few agonizing hours here and there- but did work on Friday a bit at a client's office.

I had debilitating insomnia, GI issues, anxiety, terror, panic, agoraphobia so bad that it would squeeze my insides like a sponge....pain and torture from lack of sleep for months and months and months... I thought it would never end... I was so sick and weak that when I woke from the few soaking sweaty stench filled hour or two of sleep, I would just vomit on the floor next to my bed... for months and months... It was awful. I felt I had gone insane and that I would never smile or sleep or eat normally again... I am getting better and you will too. I promise...

Much love

Melo

[[xe...]]

Christine... I can't tell you how ecstatic I am that you are doing so much better.. I really do miss you..

 

You too Julie! Maybe you can look forward to better sleep by the time you reach 7 months like Chris...

[[ma...]]

Wow again Melo. Thanks so much for your story and inspiration. You have really been on a rough road. Congratulations on where you are today. I am thrilled to hear you are sleeping. It gives all the rest of us hope. Insomnia is my main and most severe symptom. After 6mos, I expected to be at least sleeping somewhat better than a couple hours. I know I have probably messed myself up by drinking wine so much. You are inspiring me to quit. I know I have to in order to heal, and sleep. It has just been a part of my daily life for over 30yrs. I sure don't want to be on benedryl but I get to the point of exhaustion...and give in and take the pill. Maybe I can get off the wine and then try to wean off the benedryl. Some others are using trazadone so maybe we just need more help than the average benzo withdrawal people. You get to a place of exhaustion where you just can't function. Sunny, Wellness, Holly and I all seem to be in the same place with our lack of sleep. When you take that pill and get some sleep your whole life feels better, tho there is still some guilt for substituting one drug for another.

Congratulations again. You give us all hope!!

Kathi