2 years Cold Turkey getting worn out.

[[Pi...]]

Felt like I was getting a handle on this but my damaged brain had different ideas. About 2 months ago feelings of fear, terror and sleep problems went through the roof. Was supposed to go away this weekend for a family reunion but lack of sleep and intense fear of being in a crowd forced me to stay home by myself. Not to mention extreme Benzo belly. Any estimates on a time line when I may see some daylight. This is getting really old just like me. Benzo withdrawal was my retirement gift. Hope I live to see the end of it. 

[[wi...]]

@[Pi...]❤️‍🩹🙏💔

[[Ma...]]

Last surge. Honestly-I have been on this forum almost daily for 2 years and have read this a million times.

LAST SURGE!!! Believe it! ❤️‍🩹

[[Pi...]]

I hope you're right. I'm tough but the last 6 weeks have been brutal.I have noticed windows and waves seem to be cycling much faster sometimes within hours. last night was an all nighter anxiety attack while trying to sleep. 

[[Ma...]]

I hear you-I almost have whiplash. 

Again: a good sign! Listen, I really believe it. 🤞

[[Ca...]]

Pinster -- Don't give up. I was two years out from a cold turkey and having unbearable back pain and took tramadol which led to stronger opiates and benzos again. I wish I had never thrown in the towel. At least you can tell yourself that you are not further injuring yourself. I can relate to the concern about time..this tapering withdrawal which started in March 2022 is my retirement gift. And I still have 14 mgs to go. You are going to have more windows until they predominate.

3 hours ago, [[M...] said:

I hear you-I almost have whiplash. 

Again: a good sign! Listen, I really believe it. 🤞

 

[[Th...]]

No one knows for sure what the timeline might be as everyone is different, but late "waves" are fairly common and this very well could be the "final" wave before some significant relief?  As others have said, many people on this forum seem to hit a nasty patch of symptoms and/or insomnia right before they turn a corner and start feeling better.  I've personally experienced something similar right before my symptoms and insomnia significantly let up.  That doesn't always mean you're 100% healed, but you are getting a lot closer to being "completely" healed.  Peace!

Edited May 24 by [Th...]

[[Pi...]]

9 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Pinster -- Don't give up. I was two years out from a cold turkey and having unbearable back pain and took tramadol which led to stronger opiates and benzos again. I wish I had never thrown in the towel. At least you can tell yourself that you are not further injuring yourself. I can relate to the concern about time..this tapering withdrawal which started in March 2022 is my retirement gift. And I still have 14 mgs to go. You are going to have more windows until they predominate.

That's always been my thinking and why I did a CT. I'm basically healthy as far as I know but time is not on my side at now 69 years old. Once I faced the reality of what was going on I didn't want to keep feeding the fire with more drugs. Getting clean and living out what day's I have left clean is my only goal whatever that involves. Being retired was a blessing because it's easier to be non functional in pain when you have very few commitments. We have been trained not to look at it this way but the medical system is a for profit business. Never let them inject you or take any pill before doing extensive research on your own. My days of trusting the "white coats" is over. "The love of money is the root of all evil"

[[WU...]]

16 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Was supposed to go away this weekend for a family reunion

Don't know how long you had this trip planned or if it was a large family gathering but I imagine there would be a degree of "will I feel better by then" going on in your mind.  I know myself that planning is out of the question, much prefer spontaneous events. I think we are still a bit fragile which is to be expected. I'm putting no time frame on recovery,  just letting my brain sort itself out in its own time, no rush and no pressure to do anything before we are ready.

No pills or white coats for me either. Still feeling a bit stupid about it all now. Oh well, this is how we learn.

[[Pi...]]

24 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

Don't know how long you had this trip planned or if it was a large family gathering but I imagine there would be a degree of "will I feel better by then" going on in your mind.  I know myself that planning is out of the question, much prefer spontaneous events. I think we are still a bit fragile which is to be expected. I'm putting no time frame on recovery,  just letting my brain sort itself out in its own time, no rush and no pressure to do anything before we are ready.

No pills or white coats for me either. Still feeling a bit stupid about it all now. Oh well, this is how we learn.

Agree 100%. Planning makes me crazy. It's hard because I've recovered enough to want to be at the event. I feel like Clint Eastwood when he said as Dirty Harry a man has to know his limitations. It just would't have worked out. 3 days in one house with 8 adults, 5 kids under 4 and a big dog. And then it could rain! 

[[WU...]]

51 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

and a big dog

I'm a bit behind you at 15 months CT and doubt I could even handle a small dog on its own. Quite a challenge, even in full health with all those adults and children running about enjoying themselves with shrill voices.  I think you were wise to sit this one out for now anyway. Perhaps you could see them individually a few times before attempting the whole caboodle

[[Pi...]]

4 hours ago, [[W...] said:

I'm a bit behind you at 15 months CT and doubt I could even handle a small dog on its own. Quite a challenge, even in full health with all those adults and children running about enjoying themselves with shrill voices.  I think you were wise to sit this one out for now anyway. Perhaps you could see them individually a few times before attempting the whole caboodle

What is really strange is that most of my symptoms excluding Benzo Belly have gotten better (not perfect). This fear thing and afraid to go far from home is off the charts. Didn't have much of it the first year out.

[[Kr...]]

We have a gift that keeps on giving. 
 

Try breaking something and yelling FU Fear! 
Or ripping paper and saying angry words to the fear.

[[Ca...]]

I have those same fears.  I had them the two years post my cold turkey and right from the start of this taper over two years ago. Based on anecdotal evidence, they do seem to dissipate. 

[[Pi...]]

1 hour ago, [[K...] said:

Try breaking something and yelling FU Fear! 
 

We need to do some genetic testing. i think we might be related!

[[Kr...]]

Person next door is already drunk and in her yard twirling around in her fancy nightgown. 
 Happy Memorial Day