It finally happened

[[...]]

Just lost my job today. I managed to hang on to it for 30 months but in the end this insomnia just made it so I could not perform properly. I had this job for 17 years and I loved it. There is a small part of that is relieved to not have that stress but there is also a part of me that is super scared of what comes next. My short term prescription has slowly been taking everything away from me. Before this I had no idea that insomnia like this even existed. Not sure what happens next, hopefully we don’t become homeless. I’ve been fighting like hell to not let this damage ruin me. If only I could sleep properly again I would be mostly healed. 

[[Cr...]]

Sorry to hear about your job loss Xray. I ultimately ended up dropping out of nursing classes due to my recovery and it was very hard to do but I had no choice.

Are you going to be okay as far expenses and living situation foe awhile? This could turn out to be a blessing in disguise and may lead you to better opportunities.

I wish I knew an easy remedy to your insomnia issues. A lot of people recovering seem to have that one stubborn symptom that refuses to leave, whether it be restlessness, anxiety, depression, tinnitus, or in your case insomnia.

[[Bu...]]

Oh, @[...], I'm so sorry.  I went through that one too because of insomnia.  It just sucks. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[[pi...]]

I’m so sorry for the job loss @[...]. You hung on as long as possible and you should be commended for that. 

I hope you will be ok financially while you continue to recover. As @[Cr...]said, we each have our own withdrawal demons. Mine was nerve and muscle pain. It took a while but it did disappear completely. I wish the same for you. I have seen many people find that normal sleep returned once the nervous system has found balance again.

[[Ma...]]

@[...] I too, am sorry to hear this news. Is it possible for you to get disability? A sleep disorder is considered a disability by the ADA.

2 years ago,  it knowing what was to come, I had my resume ready for my dream position-1 I wasn’t able to even consider while on these hideous pills. Alas, it was not to be. For now.

When I enter the extreme sport each night attempting sleep, I assure myself that tomorrow and in the coming year, I have enough money to survive. Then I let it go.

I’ve mentioned this in other threads, have you heard of LDN? It’s commonly used for CFS, long COVID, pain, inflammation and so on. It’s off label, not a psych med and allows your body to produce more endorphins. I don’t know if it will help with insomnia but I want to mention it nonetheless.

Lastly, congratulations for making it to work for 30 months. Super human! If there was a gun to my head I couldn’t do that. I read a Success Story wherein they mentioned if they hadn’t needed to work they truly felt they would have healed much faster. Perhaps the stran and pressure of having to show up each day contributed to your insomnia and soon you will sleep like never before! ❤️‍🩹

Edited May 22 by [Ma...]

[[An...]]

[[An...]]

@[...]

PS - what kind of work were you doing? Was it stressful?

[[Th...]]

X-ray, so sorry to learn you lost a job that you loved.  I was almost in your position too, but thankfully my insomnia did not last long enough for that to happen.  Praying for some sleep and relief for you soon.  Peace.

[[Ne...]]

[[Re...]]

[[an...]]

[[...]]

8 hours ago, [[A...] said:

@[...]

PS - what kind of work were you doing? Was it stressful?

I was let go because my performance has been very poor for the last 30 months. I can’t blame them they actually put up with it longer than I expected. It was pretty stressfull job. I fixed CT machines at the hospital. I really liked my job. I had it for 17 years. I was just really hopeful that I would be back to mostly normal by now but when you’re only getting 2 to 4 hours of sleep a night for over 2 years it eventually makes it so you just cannot function. 

[[Ma...]]

@[...] If you didn’t see my message, sleep disorders are considered a disability by the ADA. Hopefully you can get disability, for now, and perhaps return to your job once healed.

[[Ca...]]

Unfortunately, just because a medical condition is considered a disability under the ADA, does not make it a medical condition qualifying for SSDI or SSI. And I am not certain that insomnia without more does qualify under the ADA. If the insomnia meets the diagnostic criteria for a sleep disorder, mental health condition or other known cause of sleeplessness it could, but the ADA provides employment protection and is not related to the SSA's disability programs. So, all that means is that you  could have asked for a reasonable accomodation at work, perhaps even a short leave of absence to treat the condition. But, they already fired you. 

The SSA does not list insomnia  or specific sleep disorders as disabilities nor do they recognize benzo harm. However, if you can prove that the cause of your insomnia does sigificantly impair your ability to work, you might be eligible for benefits. So if you were originally prescribed benzos for anxiety, the anxiety would be listed as the qualifying condition. And you need to provide medical proof of the anxiety.

If you go to the Benzo Information Coalition's website they have information about programs to help people who have lost their jobs due to benzo withdrawal, including information about applying for federal disability insurance. 

Good luck to you. 

[[An...]]

Carol is right about the SSA MDIs for SSDI and SSI. You can not use insomnia or benzo w/d as the cause of disability.  I used my diagnoses of panic disorder and GAD as the cause for why I was unable to continue working.

[[or...]]

[[An...]]

@[...]

Refresh my memory. Exactly how long have you been struggling with insomnia now since becoming benzo free?

Is it your only SX?

Did you start taking benzos for insomnia?

[[...]]

@[An...] 30 months now. I did not start taking them for insomnia. I took them because the doctor said it would help ease the sadness of mother dying. Biggest mistake of my life. Now here I am 2 and half years later feeling close to death. The sad part is I only took the pills for 2 months

[[An...]]

[[Wa...]]

[[Ma...]]

Ditto. Mom died a decade ago and have been doing this for 4+ years.

[[Cr...]]

Ditto as well. I got on klonopin regularly for about 3 months leading up to my mom's death, c/t and ended up in ER and got back on for another 18 months.

People in grief or great stress are often given benzos as a temporary fix for temporary situational life problems. We trust the experts know what they are doing and then get blind-sided when the treatment gives us more troublesome persistent symptoms when we try to stop it.

Society at large has conditioned a lot of people to expect all of life's problems, big and small, to have a solution in pill form. Any emotional fluctuations must be prevented rather than experienced.

Anyway, Xray.. did your firing circumstances leave you eligible for unemployment benefits (if in States)? If you think you may need temporary disability your best bet would be to get your condition medically documented as often as you can.

[[Ma...]]

A little derailment, if I may…

@[Cr...] Society has ‘clinicalized’ normal emotions like grief. Fear, sadness. Every colorful, albeit at times unpleasant, emotion you are supposed to experience as a human.

Old fashioned talk therapy was what I needed to manage, accept and learn how to accept my mother’s death. 🥹 Literally within 10 minutes I was given Clonazepam instead…

[[Ca...]]

I think it's a good idea to apply for UI. Your employer will argue they fired you for poor work performance but you can state that you were having anxiety or whatever might be documented..in NY the discharge has to be for gross misconduct as I recall to eliminate you for eligibility and I don't think being ill is gross misconduct. If you are in the states, your state's UI laws may be differently construed.

AntiBenzo -- were you awarded disability....

[[An...]]

Yes @[Ca...].

Were you also approved for disability @[Ca...]?

The application to approval process can be a real PITA tho.

 

Edited May 24 by [An...]
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