Travelling is scary

[[La...]]

Im almost 4 months out from a 20 month everyday benzo intake (peaked at 3mg of Klonopin)

I'm traveling alone for business for two days, arrived yesterday. This will be my 2nd night.

I expected things were going to be bad and I wasn't wrong. Very little sleep the 1st night. Lots of dysphoria, restlessness, anxiety, DP/DR, feelings of monophobia, incessant self recrimination for past and present mistakes. Feeling like going crazy. 

 

I actually booked a 3rd night for pleasure but there's no way I'm staying here. I'm getting out ASAP.

 

 

[[jo...]]

25 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Im almost 4 months out from a 20 month everyday benzo intake (peaked at 3mg of Klonopin)

I'm traveling alone for business for two days, arrived yesterday. This will be my 2nd night.

I expected things were going to be bad and I wasn't wrong. Very little sleep the 1st night. Lots of dysphoria, restlessness, anxiety, DP/DR, feelings of monophobia, incessant self recrimination for past and present mistakes. Feeling like going crazy. 

I actually booked a 3rd night for pleasure but there's no way I'm staying here. I'm getting out ASAP.

I can barely go into my local store some days so a two day business trip sounds like a massive acheivement. well done

[[Ra...]]

Lazarus

it does get better. I’m at 28 mos. I go to New Zealand for 2 weeks on tiesday

it was a lot harder when I was where you are at. Give yourself credit for going and hanging in there

ranch . 

[[PE...]]

5 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Im almost 4 months out from a 20 month everyday benzo intake (peaked at 3mg of Klonopin)

I'm traveling alone for business for two days, arrived yesterday. This will be my 2nd night.

I expected things were going to be bad and I wasn't wrong. Very little sleep the 1st night. Lots of dysphoria, restlessness, anxiety, DP/DR, feelings of monophobia, incessant self recrimination for past and present mistakes. Feeling like going crazy. 

I actually booked a 3rd night for pleasure but there's no way I'm staying here. I'm getting out ASAP.

Well done. Mabey that last pleasure night will come in a couple of months

[[...]]

@[La...], but you're actually doing it, cool!) Certainly, it's too early to make a trip enjoyable. Were i 4 mnths benzo free, i'd never risk traveling. Sure you'll have all the pleasure next time!) Good luck

[[Be...]]

16 hours ago, [[j...] said:

I can barely go into my local store some days so a two day business trip sounds like a massive acheivement. well done

I agree-I'm impressed that you even attempted to travel. I've been permanently disabled for over a decade, but before this injury, I was pretty high functioning physically. Then I was injured by benzos at the beginning of 2024. I've realized I have to 'force' myself to leave the house for short periods for essential self-care like doc visits, hair salon, etc. I am petrified what a slippery slope it would become if I gave in and never left home. It would be so much easier to not challenge my comfort zone, but for me, it would definitely snowball. 

I really applaud you for at least attempting to travel and hope you're able to be as proud of your strength as we are of you! 

[[kn...]]

I agree with every reply on this topic. I’m on a diazepam taper that will soon be three years old. I’ve just returned from a trip down to the veterinary. The whole thing only took about 20 minutes, but coupled with grocery shopping earlier this AM and I’m ready to crawl back in bed. I’m facing a 7 hr hour road trip in a couple months to a family reunion, but it’ll be done under duress.  I’ve talked till I’m blue in the face about making some concessions about my situation, but it’s fallen on deaf ears. Everyone is tired of hearing about it. I skipped a family trip to Hawaii last summer and everyone was fine with it. I’m 72, started a 60 mgs of diazepam 3 years ago. Now down to a little less 4 and trying to microdose my way out. I’ve taken this stuff for 30 years. Really dreading what’s to come. I believe in doing what I can, but this travel thing is going to be the death of me. 

[[La...]]

Thanks for all the replies. I ended up getting some decent 4 hours of sleep so I ended up staying. I attempted to do some hiking and rock climbing (old hobbies) and I think I might have fired up my CNS too much.  There is a benzo survivor who was a climber (Matt Samet) and was sidelined for a long time due to his benzo injury.

I'm also shocked at how little pleasure I got from hiking. Something that I used to love. It probably anhedonia from benzos but I admit I'm also very depressed and distressed about things that are happening in my life that have no relation to benzo withdrawal.

I suspect the next fews days and nights will be rough due to the effort/stress. And I'm being forced to travel again in less than a week.

 

[[PE...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

Thanks for all the replies. I ended up getting some decent 4 hours of sleep so I ended up staying. I attempted to do some hiking and rock climbing (old hobbies) and I think I might have fired up my CNS too much.  There is a benzo survivor who was a climber (Matt Samet) and was sidelined for a long time due to his benzo injury.

I'm also shocked at how little pleasure I got from hiking. Something that I used to love. It probably anhedonia from benzos but I admit I'm also very depressed and distressed about things that are happening in my life that have no relation to benzo withdrawal.

I suspect the next fews days and nights will be rough due to the effort/stress. And I'm being forced to travel again in less than a week.

Yeah I read about him. Apparently he wrote a book about he's journey. He was fighting for a long time! 7 years i think.

Climbing is much fun! Just be careful. 

[[Ma...]]

Matt Samet kept hiking throughout his initial withdrawal (his setback was 7 years later, the w/d did not last that long) and did even more dangerous climbs. You can read his story on Mad in America.

@[La...] I really, really commend you for taking this business trip. That takes not only strength but a lot of courage! I am the scared Lion (Wizard of  Oz ref).

And good on you for the hike, even if it didn’t feel good. That will come back, as you know, nonetheless you did it anyway. WTG!

I hope by next week you’re in a big, beautiful window! Either way, please keep us posted on this next trip.
 

 

Edited April 27 by [Ma...]