[Tr...] Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 It’s amazing how life can get better, I thought I would die from what these drugs did to me…. Exactly 4 years ago I was severely sick with all the symptoms you can think of… Dec 2019 was the month I figured out what happened to me… I was poisoned by my Drs, I took these dangerous medications on and off over a period of 6 weeks and was on them for 3 weeks in total, so I was a short term user but the damage done to me was unimaginable. I found this forum and lived on here for almost 3 years. When I say I cried every single day in 2020, I am not exaggerating. I wanted to die every day in 2020 and the only thing that kept me going was the hope that things would get better plus the fear of actually killing myself. Someone told me to trust the power of a year, and that a year can make a huge difference… for me it was the power of 2 years! At the 2 year mark I started to feel better, a lot of the symptoms were better and I was working full time again with minimal flares or issues. The 3rd year saw my baseline get even better and now on my 4th year I’m thriving. As we go into 2024, exactly four years since this traumatic experience, I am 9 months pregnant now waiting for my first child to be born. We are so happy and excited and cannot wait to meet our son in the the coming days/week/s. I come here to let you know that things really do get better…. It can be slow and it is really painful but things do get better…. I thought my life was ruined forever but I have managed to rebuilt and am happy and thriving! I only have tinnitus left, and one or two symptoms will pop by for a day here and then if I really over exert, nothing I can’t manage... I work a Director role, travel to different countries for work, sometimes do long hours and am managing fine. I have however learnt to listen to my body and limit myself when needed… Please hang on, dig deep and trust in the power of a year!! Or two!!! Just hang on because life will get beautiful again. I see colors and hear music and feel joy and love fully. I enjoy things like going to restaurants, the movies, hanging out with friends again and traveling for pleasure. I am so grateful for my life and health and will never take it for granted, I appreciate what I have. Please Keep going, you can do this. 20 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Br...] Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 Thank you @[Tr...] for sharing your story. So happy for you and wishing you much joy with the birth of your first child! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[wi...] Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 Very, very happy for you! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Cr...] Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Congratulations absolutely wonderful news to Hear! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Th...] Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Congratulations....now continue to live your life to the fullest! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ma...] Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 Congratulations ❤️🙏🏻 did u also have Dystonia like symptoms? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Tr...] Posted January 10 Author Share Posted January 10 On 09/01/2024 at 02:35, [[M...] said: Congratulations ❤️🙏🏻 did u also have Dystonia like symptoms? I had a lot of twitching, it was unbearable. Twitching was one of my worst symptoms and so painful. It’s gone now and was actually one of the last to go. It does take time for some but it really will get better for you too… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ka...] Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 On 31/12/2023 at 15:25, [[T...] said: It’s amazing how life can get better, I thought I would die from what these drugs did to me…. Exactly 4 years ago I was severely sick with all the symptoms you can think of… Dec 2019 was the month I figured out what happened to me… I was poisoned by my Drs, I took these dangerous medications on and off over a period of 6 weeks and was on them for 3 weeks in total, so I was a short term user but the damage done to me was unimaginable. I found this forum and lived on here for almost 3 years. When I say I cried every single day in 2020, I am not exaggerating. I wanted to die every day in 2020 and the only thing that kept me going was the hope that things would get better plus the fear of actually killing myself. Someone told me to trust the power of a year, and that a year can make a huge difference… for me it was the power of 2 years! At the 2 year mark I started to feel better, a lot of the symptoms were better and I was working full time again with minimal flares or issues. The 3rd year saw my baseline get even better and now on my 4th year I’m thriving. As we go into 2024, exactly four years since this traumatic experience, I am 9 months pregnant now waiting for my first child to be born. We are so happy and excited and cannot wait to meet our son in the the coming days/week/s. I come here to let you know that things really do get better…. It can be slow and it is really painful but things do get better…. I thought my life was ruined forever but I have managed to rebuilt and am happy and thriving! I only have tinnitus left, and one or two symptoms will pop by for a day here and then if I really over exert, nothing I can’t manage... I work a Director role, travel to different countries for work, sometimes do long hours and am managing fine. I have however learnt to listen to my body and limit myself when needed… Please hang on, dig deep and trust in the power of a year!! Or two!!! Just hang on because life will get beautiful again. I see colors and hear music and feel joy and love fully. I enjoy things like going to restaurants, the movies, hanging out with friends again and traveling for pleasure. I am so grateful for my life and health and will never take it for granted, I appreciate what I have. Please Keep going, you can do this. AMAZING! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ho...] Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 I am glad you are doing so much better. Your complete 180 should be a source of hope and inspiration for others who come here in despair. I too was a short term user...only about 2 weeks on Ativan. It is shocking what these drugs can do in such a short time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Bi...] Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 (edited) I used for a month, diazepam and went cold turkey almost exactly a year ago. I'm still suffering fairly bad. I've had some biggish windows but a flare this time is traumatizing me. I feel as though people think I should be healed by now and must be making this up. I was rarely ill, never complained and loved my life. I want my life back, I'm so unhappy. Edited January 14 by [Bi...] Spelling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[TH...] Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 @[Bi...] I saw you posting on here and was hopeful you had a success story...😞 Sorry you're still struggling after all this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Bi...] Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 1 hour ago, [[T...] said: @[Bi...] I saw you posting on here and was hopeful you had a success story...😞 Sorry you're still struggling after all this time. Thank you. I wish it was a success story but judging from this post I might be in for another year or more. She only used for 6 weeks.. I used for four. 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[El...] Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 On 31/12/2023 at 21:25, [[T...] said: It’s amazing how life can get better, I thought I would die from what these drugs did to me…. I'm so happy to read this. Thank you for sharing. And enjoy this new chapter and the journey ahead. Thanks for giving some hope to me, 💕 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[La...] Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 On 31/12/2023 at 16:25, [[T...] said: It’s amazing how life can get better, I thought I would die from what these drugs did to me…. Exactly 4 years ago I was severely sick with all the symptoms you can think of… Dec 2019 was the month I figured out what happened to me… I was poisoned by my Drs, I took these dangerous medications on and off over a period of 6 weeks and was on them for 3 weeks in total, so I was a short term user but the damage done to me was unimaginable. I found this forum and lived on here for almost 3 years. When I say I cried every single day in 2020, I am not exaggerating. I wanted to die every day in 2020 and the only thing that kept me going was the hope that things would get better plus the fear of actually killing myself. Someone told me to trust the power of a year, and that a year can make a huge difference… for me it was the power of 2 years! At the 2 year mark I started to feel better, a lot of the symptoms were better and I was working full time again with minimal flares or issues. The 3rd year saw my baseline get even better and now on my 4th year I’m thriving. As we go into 2024, exactly four years since this traumatic experience, I am 9 months pregnant now waiting for my first child to be born. We are so happy and excited and cannot wait to meet our son in the the coming days/week/s. I come here to let you know that things really do get better…. It can be slow and it is really painful but things do get better…. I thought my life was ruined forever but I have managed to rebuilt and am happy and thriving! I only have tinnitus left, and one or two symptoms will pop by for a day here and then if I really over exert, nothing I can’t manage... I work a Director role, travel to different countries for work, sometimes do long hours and am managing fine. I have however learnt to listen to my body and limit myself when needed… Please hang on, dig deep and trust in the power of a year!! Or two!!! Just hang on because life will get beautiful again. I see colors and hear music and feel joy and love fully. I enjoy things like going to restaurants, the movies, hanging out with friends again and traveling for pleasure. I am so grateful for my life and health and will never take it for granted, I appreciate what I have. Please Keep going, you can do this. Wow! Absolutely love this! Big congratulations on your new baby boy. Your first child…how exciting! I pray you continue to enjoy your new healed life! I’m approaching my 4 year so this gives me much to look forward to. Thank you for coming back to share your success. I wish you all the best! Lots of love 💕 🤝 Wrists locked! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Tr...] Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 On 15/01/2024 at 01:35, [[B...] said: I used for a month, diazepam and went cold turkey almost exactly a year ago. I'm still suffering fairly bad. I've had some biggish windows but a flare this time is traumatizing me. I feel as though people think I should be healed by now and must be making this up. I was rarely ill, never complained and loved my life. I want my life back, I'm so unhappy. You will get your life back. I felt exactly as you do now…. And I slowlyyyyy got better over time. Hang in there and trust the same will happen for you as well. I was also rarely sick and loved my life before this experience… I now love my life again and it’s actually even better now because I appreciate all I have and my health so much. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Tr...] Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 @[Bi...] remember we are all different, it may take you faster to heal. Distract as much as possible during this time and try find little things that can keep you going. Imagine all the wonderful things you will do once healed and hang on for them. It’s truly worth the wait because once you recover life becomes beautiful again. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Tr...] Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 Just an update that I gave birth to my beautiful son. He was born at home with the help of our amazing doula and midwife. I labored for 7 hours and gave birth at 5h15am just as the sun was rising. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I was strong and trusted my body to know what to do. When I was poisoned by these horrible drugs, I thought my life was over. I looked in the mirror and saw emptiness, hollowed, a vacuum, a shell. I was not me. I cried everyday for a year straight. I thought I would die, I would lose my husband, that I would never ever be happy again. Oh was I wrong. None of those things happened. I have never been this happy. It’s like I’m on a high everyday. I love my husband so much, all the feelings came back. I love my new born child, I love my life. I suffered, just as you are. For many months…. I truly did… it still traumatizes me thinking about it, so I don’t often… most days now I spend loving fully, I feel myself. I used to spend hours on here everyday… looking for hope…. May this give you hope that one day you too will recover and enjoy your life again. 10 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Bi...] Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on the birth of your precious baby ❤️ God bless you and your family 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Br...] Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 @[Tr...] Thank you so much for sharing the wonderful news of the birth of your son! Thanks also for the beautiful message of hope and encouragement. Our capacity for healing and leaving the darkness of withdrawal behind as we emerge into the bright light of recovery is truly amazing. So happy for you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[sh...] Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Hello trying to be hopeful, that is wonderful news❣️I am sooo happy for you! I deeply wish you and your baby boy and your family a happy, healthy life 🤩🍀 And thank you so much for your encouraging words! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[je...] Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Congratulations! I am so happy for you! I am sure you don't mind being sleep deprived. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mr...] Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 congrats I was a short term user 2 or three weeks here too. this post gives me hope thank you i will be two years in feb. looking foward to that relief haha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ki...] Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 I also took for a short amount of time – now I'm tapering (although I don't want to stay on it too much longer) and already getting horrible symptoms. I am struggling so much with fear of what's to come and so much ashame and anger with myself for taking these pills. If only I hadn't been so desperate. I don't know if I'll ever get over the shame I feel towards myself, it's overwhelming. I am so happy you recovered, but the time it took is heartbreaking. ♥️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Bl...] Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 So happy for you. Congratulations on you baby boy. Thanks for coming back to share your good news. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Wi...] Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 Congrats ♥️ It must be amazing to be a normal parent after such ordeal. I wish I were in the same spot. Had my baby in the thick of it and now barely able to take care of her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
![[Tr...]](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%201024%201024%22%20style%3D%22background%3A%2366c462%22%3E%3Cg%3E%3Ctext%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20dy%3D%22.35em%22%20x%3D%22512%22%20y%3D%22512%22%20fill%3D%22%23ffffff%22%20font-size%3D%22700%22%20font-family%3D%22-apple-system%2C%20BlinkMacSystemFont%2C%20Roboto%2C%20Helvetica%2C%20Arial%2C%20sans-serif%22%3ET%3C%2Ftext%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E)
![[Tw...]](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%201024%201024%22%20style%3D%22background%3A%23c4627c%22%3E%3Cg%3E%3Ctext%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20dy%3D%22.35em%22%20x%3D%22512%22%20y%3D%22512%22%20fill%3D%22%23ffffff%22%20font-size%3D%22700%22%20font-family%3D%22-apple-system%2C%20BlinkMacSystemFont%2C%20Roboto%2C%20Helvetica%2C%20Arial%2C%20sans-serif%22%3ET%3C%2Ftext%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E)
![[Lu...]](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%201024%201024%22%20style%3D%22background%3A%236662c4%22%3E%3Cg%3E%3Ctext%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20dy%3D%22.35em%22%20x%3D%22512%22%20y%3D%22512%22%20fill%3D%22%23ffffff%22%20font-size%3D%22700%22%20font-family%3D%22-apple-system%2C%20BlinkMacSystemFont%2C%20Roboto%2C%20Helvetica%2C%20Arial%2C%20sans-serif%22%3EL%3C%2Ftext%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E)
![[Ho...]](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%201024%201024%22%20style%3D%22background%3A%2362c4c1%22%3E%3Cg%3E%3Ctext%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20dy%3D%22.35em%22%20x%3D%22512%22%20y%3D%22512%22%20fill%3D%22%23ffffff%22%20font-size%3D%22700%22%20font-family%3D%22-apple-system%2C%20BlinkMacSystemFont%2C%20Roboto%2C%20Helvetica%2C%20Arial%2C%20sans-serif%22%3EH%3C%2Ftext%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E)
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