Uncomfortable Euphoria and emotions all over the place?

[[fi...]]

Hi all, I'm about 4.5 months off K,  and a long taper. 

Physical symptoms- still pretty severe, up and down each day and knowing that process of healing is going to be very gradual. 

But what I wanted to post about was these bizarre emotions I'm feeling. On the one hand, I feel giddy happy sometimes like happy for no reason. Other times, like right now, I'm feeling butterflies as if something amazing has just happened or I just met the  love of my life or I'm walking on air or something, but nothing of the like is happening. And these feelings are so good that they're bad- if that makes sense. For one- they're not really real and because I'm stuck bedbound still, I feel a sense of FOMO, like I'm dying for amazing things in my life to happen after 7 years sick, but the restlessness of not knowing when I can get out of here healed is creating a completely different sense. So I feel so happy that that sometimes brings on anxiety.

 

Then the next moment it might be extreme arousal ( which is REALLY left field and uncomfortable for me because I was very much on the asexual spectrum both before and during my benzo usage) and then this sets off OCD symptoms where I'm very paranoid people can read my mind and know I'm thinking such things. Or even intense depression and sadness like everything is just tragic. 

 

I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I just wondered if anyone else has experienced these random emotions? I mean, they may last a whole day, a few hours, or just 30 minutes, it varies from day to day. This is also a fairly recent development along with return of panick-y sort of feelings, but I also have SAD, and get it every fall and winter, and this is the first winter off benzos, so I somehow feel that I'm in for a ride there too..

 

Experiences like this shared would mean so much to me, just looking for some encouragement that it doesn't mean this will last or get any more uncomfortable. I tend to over-explain, it's just what I'm like, so thanks for reading  

 

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by [fi...]
left out important background into post

[[Re...]]

Hello @[fi...], welcome to BenzoBuddies, 

I am 4 months out, please read History. I was trying to explain this to my folks the other day. I get this uncomfortable and intense "euphoria" feeling when I am taking a walk in the morning. I also get intense fatigue, sadness, loneliness or fear, but only for a very short time, than it goes away (but not as fast as it came). It is very disturbing, especially the sadness and the fatigue. It is like these were emotion attacks. However they are maybe less intense and I am learning to cope somehow, maybe. It is the benzo talking, it is definitely not you. It is part of the process. 

 

[[fi...]]

18 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

Hello @[fi...], welcome to BenzoBuddies, 

I am 4 months out, please read History. I was trying to explain this to my folks the other day. I get this uncomfortable and intense "euphoria" feeling when I am taking a walk in the morning. I also get intense fatigue, sadness, loneliness or fear, but only for a very short time, than it goes away (but not as fast as it came). It is very disturbing, especially the sadness and the fatigue. It is like these were emotion attacks. However they are maybe less intense and I am learning to cope somehow, maybe. It is the benzo talking, it is definitely not you. It is part of the process. 

Hi, thanks so much for commenting  

Interesting that we're around the same time off. I also have those like you mentioned after, the loneliness, et al, it's just very random and you're right- they don't go nearly as fast as they come, it seriously seems like they come on in a matter of seconds, very jarring. Good to hear they're less intense than they were, maybe they will come to a halt entirely. I feel like if I can just get loose of things for a while then they end up going away altogether, but then they make a return many months down the road, at least in my previous experience, but that seems to be the nature of this thing. I tell myself I definitely can't worry about bridges I haven't gotten to yet, so I'm trying to maintain that mindset. Anyways, thanks for the empathies and letting me know I'm not alone and it's not just me. Last night during one of those emotion attacks I had a very specific fear that this was a new normal and that it had permanently made my brain do these crazy highs and lows, but you're right again, it's all just the healing. Thank goodness. 

[[pi...]]

@[fi...],

I believe what you are feeling is very common for recovery from benzo withdrawal. I had some of the same experiences. There were times I’d be laughing so hard I’m crying. So many things in the world brought forth big emotions. I think it is because these things, normal human emotions, are stunted while on benzos. It’s an awakening of sorts. I don’t think it’s a bad thing and with time it levels off. 

[[fi...]]

13 hours ago, [[p...] said:

@[fi...],

I believe what you are feeling is very common for recovery from benzo withdrawal. I had some of the same experiences. There were times I’d be laughing so hard I’m crying. So many things in the world brought forth big emotions. I think it is because these things, normal human emotions, are stunted while on benzos. It’s an awakening of sorts. I don’t think it’s a bad thing and with time it levels off. 

it does really seem like an awakening, but it's amazing because I didn't even feel this way before benzos and I had been on other MH medications before, but the impact of benzos is far greater, with the way it takes its toll on literally every body process. So it makes sense the "waking up" to all these things would be far more involved too. 

 

Thank you so much for replying <3

[[jo...]]

On 09/10/2023 at 11:39, [[f...] said:

Hi all, I'm about 4.5 months off K,  and a long taper. 

Physical symptoms- still pretty severe, up and down each day and knowing that process of healing is going to be very gradual. 

But what I wanted to post about was these bizarre emotions I'm feeling. On the one hand, I feel giddy happy sometimes like happy for no reason. Other times, like right now, I'm feeling butterflies as if something amazing has just happened or I just met the  love of my life or I'm walking on air or something, but nothing of the like is happening. And these feelings are so good that they're bad- if that makes sense. For one- they're not really real and because I'm stuck bedbound still, I feel a sense of FOMO, like I'm dying for amazing things in my life to happen after 7 years sick, but the restlessness of not knowing when I can get out of here healed is creating a completely different sense. So I feel so happy that that sometimes brings on anxiety.

Then the next moment it might be extreme arousal ( which is REALLY left field and uncomfortable for me because I was very much on the asexual spectrum both before and during my benzo usage) and then this sets off OCD symptoms where I'm very paranoid people can read my mind and know I'm thinking such things. Or even intense depression and sadness like everything is just tragic. 

I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I just wondered if anyone else has experienced these random emotions? I mean, they may last a whole day, a few hours, or just 30 minutes, it varies from day to day. This is also a fairly recent development along with return of panick-y sort of feelings, but I also have SAD, and get it every fall and winter, and this is the first winter off benzos, so I somehow feel that I'm in for a ride there too..

Experiences like this shared would mean so much to me, just looking for some encouragement that it doesn't mean this will last or get any more uncomfortable. I tend to over-explain, it's just what I'm like, so thanks for reading  

Hi, I am staring to experience these emotional rollercoaster feelings too, like so good it's uncomfortable kind of thing then crashing etc. Then feeling good again and on and on. If it's not to much trouble, could you please tell me what happened? I'm really confused by them. Is it a sign of healing do you think? Did they go away and you returned back to how you felt before they started. I'm sorry to bother you.

Thank You

Jon

[[Bo...]]

Have the same - Neuro emotions some of the coaches explain them as. Brain trying to regulate again and so a rollercoaster for us. I’m about 8 mo off and having wild swings but also on Mirtazapine taper that’s more brutal than my K on which was very difficult. So not sure what’s coming from here where but neuro emotions I’ve heard a lot about. They do settle down again at some point.

[[Ja...]]

I'm going trough the same thing..

[[jo...]]

4 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

I'm going trough the same thing..

Yeah Iv'e had it a few times now last time being yesterday. It's really weird but it passes.