My battle - please help

[[Id...]]

On 18/12/2023 at 14:08, [[T...] said:

I'd stay away from places that don't understand Benzo withdrawal and places that want to push Benzos

I didn’t know anything about benzos. it took me two years to understand alone I was in wd from a “simple” prescribed sleeping aid. so I immediately put myself in the hands of the only public health specialist that publicizes himself and his work in my country and is internationally talked about. It didn’t go well so I was rushed to this public funded hospital he pointed me to, in a state of urgency. They gave me a truckload of benzos to stabilize me, I got poli drugged received the infusion and left weeks later still on benzos, alone and with a non sensible taper plan. It didn’t go well and the second doctor referred me to the first specialist again. Exactly a year long wash and repeat, except this time I was admitted in an urgent state to a second, specialized in benzos hospital, again public funded and there I met worse than hell. They didn’t even know anything about pills content and they bluntly demonstrated it with their words. I got ct before and while on flumazenil again, and between seizures (while on anti seizures therapy) and worse they just threatened to take away my legal rights not to medically help the conditions I was in, which they totally ignored, but to have their 30 (paid) days. I needed more than the training I received by military (survive behind enemy lines comes to mind, even if adapted for civil big, special emergencies) and my experience on it, to get out alive, and it took almost a year to not be not “not happy” I survived. Maybe.

 I referred to the highest publicly regarded professionals in my country (EU) yet this happened. It wasn’t a common, not ponderate silly mistake. Also I am medically trained so I’m not overly naïve either.

I let this here to show what can happen even with best informations and steps.

@[To...] at that point I was medicated, kindled and sick enough I don’t exactly remember. I redundantly gave you All the info I have and I can share about MY experience, so I excuse myself out, you can do your choices 

Edited December 20, 2023 by [Id...]

[[Jo...]]

I’m not you and ultimately you’re the best advocate for yourself and know your brain the best. I am currently taking  gabapentin and have been tapering off of it for about a week now. I used it in conjunction with temazepam for sleep. I was at 22.5 mgs of temazepam and was up to 600 mgs of gabapentin. The gabapentin was used to help treat hypnic jerks and brain zaps. I was getting those due to having rebound insomnia from taking to much Z quill which started me down this road I’m on now. Anyway the thing that helped me the most to get off of temazepam was natural supplements. I have a laundry list of natural supplements I take that help me sleep while I’m getting off these drugs. I do take hydroxyzine and dayvigo as well but I haven’t been taking those long and from what I read about Dayvigo is it doesn’t cause any withdrawals. I still don’t trust it but I think it helps me sleep for now. The best thing I have used for anxiety is CBD,CBG and Ashwanda. 

[[Ca...]]

On 13/09/2023 at 09:25, [[T...] said:

Thanks for continuing the conversation 

I was already drowsy in the same fashion before starting the Paxil 6 days ago. 
 

I agree that my CNS is highly sensitized. My agitation level is constantly high between doses of Clonazepam. Also irritable and very low tolerance for stress of any kind. Low concentration, low mood. 
 

So fair to say that the clonazepam could be the issue here?

You really hit it on the mark about the symptoms. Sorry to see it going so rough. I do take ADs (SNRI) for depression/anxiety, but of that I've had a history. Looks like you were taking a pretty high dosage of benzos at one point if I read correctly. Have you considered Ketamine for depression? I took and didn't really see a lift of it but some ppl seem to get something out of it. I don't know, everyone is different. Really hope you can get it sorted out which course of action is best in your case.

[[To...]]

Hello all, wanted to check in. Thx for continued support and hope you had a decent holiday. 
 

I frequently am going into these mental loops with racing thoughts/rumination to that the point where I can’t read. Am dealing with depression/anxiety most prob started pre withdrawal. But this altered brain activity; hyper activity is unbearable and has me writhing around on the floor quite literally. Then sometimes out of the blue it stops, usually evening where I can compute again?
 

What the heck is this? There is no possibility of me sweeping the kitchen floor much less working in that kind of shape. Thanks as always. 

Edited December 28, 2023 by [To...]

[[Pa...]]

Your may be dealing with morning cortisol, our bodies like to help us start the day by flooding us with cortisol and that causes problems for most of our members.  Typically by late afternoon and evening we begin to feel better, its miserable I know.

 

[[To...]]

On 23/12/2023 at 16:29, [[J...] said:

I’m not you and ultimately you’re the best advocate for yourself and know your brain the best. I am currently taking  gabapentin and have been tapering off of it for about a week now. I used it in conjunction with temazepam for sleep. I was at 22.5 mgs of temazepam and was up to 600 mgs of gabapentin. The gabapentin was used to help treat hypnic jerks and brain zaps. I was getting those due to having rebound insomnia from taking to much Z quill which started me down this road I’m on now. Anyway the thing that helped me the most to get off of temazepam was natural supplements. I have a laundry list of natural supplements I take that help me sleep while I’m getting off these drugs. I do take hydroxyzine and dayvigo as well but I haven’t been taking those long and from what I read about Dayvigo is it doesn’t cause any withdrawals. I still don’t trust it but I think it helps me sleep for now. The best thing I have used for anxiety is CBD,CBG and Ashwanda. 

Picked up some CBD oil - dosage is 200mg CBD, 2.7mg THC per drop. Could you recommend a dose to experiment with?

[[PE...]]

On 24/12/2023 at 02:16, [[C...] said:

You really hit it on the mark about the symptoms. Sorry to see it going so rough. I do take ADs (SNRI) for depression/anxiety, but of that I've had a history. Looks like you were taking a pretty high dosage of benzos at one point if I read correctly. Have you considered Ketamine for depression? I took and didn't really see a lift of it but some ppl seem to get something out of it. I don't know, everyone is different. Really hope you can get it sorted out which course of action is best in your case.

I done ketamine around 10 times. I was in withdrawal when taking it and the anxiety vanished. Not for everyone as it open up the mind kinda like on LSD.

In the US i understand there is centers for taking it in a controlled manner. 

[[To...]]

Considering going ct off of Valium. No perceived benefit at this point. Very high anxiety , racing thoughts , sedation are the norm however. 
please help me out guys I am at wits end either way it seems. 

 

[[Pa...]]

What is your current dose and do you have someone there with you who can monitor you for seizures?

Did you try the CBD?

[[To...]]

25mg bedtime

5mg pm

may not sleep again, devastating 

[[To...]]

I will try the cbd tn 

[[Pa...]]

On 06/01/2024 at 10:35, [[T...] said:

Considering going ct off of Valium. No perceived benefit at this point. Very high anxiety , racing thoughts , sedation are the norm however. 
please help me out guys I am at wits end either way it seems. 

Your dose of Valium is very high, and in my opinion, too high to cold turkey safely.  You mention no perceived benefit, that may be the case but its keeping you from having a seizure which is possible if you quit cold turkey.  Granted, seizures are rare unless you’re prone to them but the acute symptoms you’ll experience from going cold turkey will be brutal, I know this from my own cold turkey.

I hope you can continue to taper, the only way out of this is through it and I know its terrible but you can recover if you stick with it. 

[[To...]]

Thanks @[Pa...]

I am aware of the risk unfortunately.

An addictions specialist has advised a polydrug approach which I think is a no go  

I haven’t had a dose in a few days. No history of seizures. When/how long after stopping would you be expecting acute withdrawal? 

So far I am just fatigued, same as before. I believe this is mostly from the depression - which I am hoping may lift a bit.

Feeling in deep trouble here.  

[[Pa...]]

 I’m relieved you don’t have a history of seizures, but do you have someone there with you?

With Valium I would expect a worsening of symptoms at around the 7 day mark with hopefully no more new ones showing up at the month mark.  After acute (and the time varies for everyone) there is recovery and it takes a long time but at least the drug is gone and you can resign yourself to letting your body do what it knows how to do, repair itself. 

I don’t blame you for not wanting to go the poly drug route, I’ve read too many posts where introducing new medications just adds trouble but some members seem to benefit from them. 

[[An...]]

7 hours ago, [[P...] said:

 I’m relieved you don’t have a history of seizures, but do you have someone there with you?

With Valium I would expect a worsening of symptoms at around the 7 day mark with hopefully no more new ones showing up at the month mark.  After acute (and the time varies for everyone) there is recovery and it takes a long time but at least the drug is gone and you can resign yourself to letting your body do what it knows how to do, repair itself. 

I don’t blame you for not wanting to go the poly drug route, I’ve read too many posts where introducing new medications just adds trouble but some members seem to benefit from them. 

I agree Pam. I recall the last two times I jumped from valium.  S*** did not hit the fan until around the 7 day mark, probably due to the long half-life. I also don't like using other drugs to help get off benzos. Polydrugging usually makes things worse. I did start a small dose of lexapro but no more drugs than that one. As Pam noted, your dose is very high. I would avoid the CT. @[To...],  If you feel you must get off as quickly as possible, I think a rapid step-down (say in 5 mg increments) with maybe 3-4 week holds in between might be a better and safer approach than the CT from 30 mgs.

[[To...]]

Thanks @[An...] 

I don’t think the Valium ever did anything for me in the first place. I was crossed over in October from Ativan and Klonopin. I have depression with mixed symptoms brought on by some major life stressors changes in a short time. As with most here the medical system failed us. Therapy prob could have got the job done but have had 20 Psych meds thrown at me this last year instead. Was naive - never taken meds before much less psych meds.  Quite frankly over taking them for no benefit. From what I read on BB it’s not ideal to CT. But have also read from Witt-doering and elsewhere that only a small percentage of protracted users experience catastrophic withdrawal. Admittedly he also says it might not be worth the risk to find out if you are among the lucky “majority”. 

[[Pa...]]

6 hours ago, [[T...] said:

But have also read from Witt-doering and elsewhere that only a small percentage of protracted users experience catastrophic withdrawal. Admittedly he also says it might not be worth the risk to find out if you are among the lucky “majority”. 

Can you elaborate on this statement?  If you’re already dealing with symptoms from using these medications, I believe your chances of suffering symptoms are assured.  I agree at least from what I’ve read that most don’t suffer as we do but if they’re already suffering as you are, then you will face intense symptoms.  

But, if this is your choice, then we’ll support it and speaking as someone who quit cold turkey and fully recovered, quitting this way doesn’t have to end badly. 

[[Th...]]

I am not recommending a CT, but quitting that way worked for me too and I fully recovered.  Again, this isn't a recommendation to quit CT, you have to decide, but it doesn't always end badly.  Good luck.