3 years later

[[NH...]]

Howdy all!

I wanted to share how things are going for me as I remember how bad it was early in the process.

It gets better. A LOT better!

Do I feel 100% normal? Well I have anxiety so no, but benzo withdrawal? That part is done. Over with and good riddance!

When I started quitting benzos it was bad. You can't even tell which symptoms are the anxiety and which are the withdrawal. I felt sick. 

I read from others who said they were symptom free and some who said the withdrawal never ends. I'm pretty sure the latter group were confusing anxiety symptoms with withdrawal symptoms.

My perspective on my anxiety now is that it wasn't bad enough to warrant taking benzodiazepines. I honestly feel better now than I did on Xanax. Healthier. I exercise more, and I am loving my life. 

I have learned to identify anxiety when it is bad. For me there is a warning symptom of tinnitus. When I have tinnitus it's time to de-stress and go walk in nature, pick blueberries or play with my pet cat. Sometimes laying down for a nap is the best thing if it is bad like after a frustrating day or a near accident.

When I first quit benzos my brain couldn't do that. It is a bit like being a baby and your mind hasn't developed yet. You have to adapt and get used to being off the pills. But you do. Your body can adapt to an amazing degree! 

I used to hate the feeling of cold. It causes my to shiver quickly and that triggered my anxiety. But now I'm so much stronger than I was when I was on Xanax. I lived in a trailer snowed in in the wilderness last winter. Very dangerous and yet I loved it. Doing it again this winter. I have only a wood burning stove and now my attitude towards cold is, as long as it's above 0 I'm happy. 

But that is the key.

I'm happy 

It took a couple years to feel that again. Quitting benzos sucks, anyone reading this knows that, but you can find joy again, and a greater and deeper joy than you felt when you were quitting. 

I sought out this forum originally thinking there might be tips and tricks to deal with each symptom. It kept me busy to get through the 700 days of not-fun. Even just writing this can make me smile. My brain has finally adapted enough. I imagine I will feel even better in years to come which is exciting. 

So if you are reading this, you WILL feel better but here's a massive tip. Exercise a lot!

It will make you feel good. You want to get your dopamine baseline up and laying around trying to rest and only experience good things will only drop that baseline. Get out into the cold, face that discomfort and kick it's ass!

You are going to win.

[[de...]]

Thanks so much for coming back and letting us know how you are doing.     This is so encouraging to hear!  

[[Pa...]]

Thank you @[NH...] for coming back and writing your story, it made me happy to read it.  You sound so good, and I love that you have such healthy ways for dealing with your anxiety now, thank you for sharing them.

 

[[An...]]

Congrats @[NH...] and thanks for returning and sharing. This really encourages others who are still in the trenches so to speak. I agree with what you said about exercise. Don't overdo things but try to get in some exercise each day or every other day if you can. Exercise definitely helps with anxiety.

[[st...]]

Congratulations. So happy for you. 

[[be...]]

@[NH...] congrats, and thanks for such a insightful post, I am sure others will gain strength and learn from it. May you be filled with joy, strength and continued healing. 💖 Peace and Healing.

[[Je...]]

Thank you so much for posting! Congratulations to you! My anxiety has been triggered by the cold, too, and now I live in a colder climate so last winter was a challenge. I'm glad that got better for you! And your Positivity shines through your words! Fantastic!!

[[Li...]]

Thank you @[NH...] for sharing, congrats on your recovery, and you are right exercise is so important for healing.

[[lo...]]

How long were u on xan and how many mg? How were u able to get off? Currently struggling