Do any of you think that going through this will lead to a better life?

[[Je...]]

I’m trying to look at all the positives in my life as my life has gone to shambles.  There’s a quote by  Sigmund Freud, “one day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” 

Mike Tyson has also said the same thing.  He said it doesn’t seem like while you are going through it but when you look back you will be proud you did.

It reminds me of rehab where I kicked opiates and for 20 days straight I was in hell.  But I look back and I am grateful for that experience and the people I met and wouldn’t change it.  Obviously I wouldn’t want to do it again.

I know we come out of this a different person, usually for the better.  How could you not become more kind and empathetic, stronger and resilient right?

i guess that’s what keeps me fighting even if it is just getting out of bed. Knowing one day I will be able to look back and be proud of what I made it through.

 

🙂 

[[Br...]]

I love this Jeffgarvin12!  I wouldn't want to go through benzo withdrawal again but I too am grateful for the people I've met because of it.  I believe you will look back on this and be proud of yourself.  One of the great gifts I've taken from this hard journey is learning I had strength I never knew I had.  Thanks for sharing this great post!

[[Fa...]]

Jeff, your posts are always uplifting, and I do so enjoy reading them.  And, your quotes are always such a help and inspirational.  So, thank you.

I believe on the other side of benzos, life cannot be anything but better in ways we cannot even imagine.  I am banking on it.  And, it has been expressed over and over again by those who have come before us.  I cannot conceive of ever seeing life the same again after this...I just can't.  This isn't toxic positivity...I think this is nothing less than transformational.  

[[Je...]]

On 7/29/2023 at 5:24 PM, [[F...] said:

Jeff, your posts are always uplifting, and I do so enjoy reading them.  And, your quotes are always such a help and inspirational.  So, thank you.

I believe on the other side of benzos, life cannot be anything but better in ways we cannot even imagine.  I am banking on it.  And, it has been expressed over and over again by those who have come before us.  I cannot conceive of ever seeing life the same again after this...I just can't.  This isn't toxic positivity...I think this is nothing less than transformational.  

I totally agree! The kindest, strongest people I have ever met have had some pretty tough lives.  I think it changes the way we view the world.  Little things can’t bother us anymore as we have seen things so much worse! 
 

And finding the strength to fight every single day.  Waking up is a struggle.  Going to sleep is a struggle.  But somehow we find a way.  
 

It really tests you.  And it keeps testing you.  When you are in so much hurt, we learn to be grateful for what we have and what we have to look forward to. 
 

I love how you say the life that life on the other side of benzos can’t be anything but better!  What a great way to look at it!  How could it not be better? Every day is Is blessing.  It’s what keeps me fighting! Knowing there is something beautiful awaiting us!  
 

Thank you faith!

[[st...]]

It's hard but I feel the same. I feel like my life has to be better after this experience. I can't allow myself to be dictated by doses, medication times or withdrawl symptoms. I have gained a while new understanding of my anxiety through this experience and that I'm grateful for. But no I hope to never go through withdrawls for anything ever again. 

[[gr...]]

life has gotten better and I feel truly alive. Now I can be there for others. Grateful for the few that stayed by me all these years.

[[Co...]]

Interesting! I still cannot believe this experience would make you more empathic. I have always had the biggest empathy and sympathy for everyone but how this happened and how everyone has treated me through this I kinda lost all my respect for people.

[[Gl...]]

23 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I totally agree! The kindest, strongest people I have ever met have had some pretty tough lives.  I think it changes the way we view the world.  Little things can’t bother us anymore as we have seen things so much worse! 

I love what you said.  It's so true.  How could little things bother us after this?  It definitely changes a person.  We'll be more compassionate and endure hard times much better than we ever could before.    We'll be better for having gone through this as painful as it is.  Thanks for this post and looking at the positive side of this!  St. Paul said that suffering produces character.  This is truly a character-producing ordeal.

[[Th...]]

On 7/30/2023 at 4:07 AM, [[J...] said:

I’m trying to look at all the positives in my life as my life has gone to shambles.  There’s a quote by  Sigmund Freud, “one day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” 

Mike Tyson has also said the same thing.  He said it doesn’t seem like while you are going through it but when you look back you will be proud you did.

It reminds me of rehab where I kicked opiates and for 20 days straight I was in hell.  But I look back and I am grateful for that experience and the people I met and wouldn’t change it.  Obviously I wouldn’t want to do it again.

I know we come out of this a different person, usually for the better.  How could you not become more kind and empathetic, stronger and resilient right?

i guess that’s what keeps me fighting even if it is just getting out of bed. Knowing one day I will be able to look back and be proud of what I made it through.

 

🙂

I'm already so much better than I was and I'm not off the two meds I've been taking. I've been holding for about 10 months after a severe crash and have improved so much in that time. I'm now ready to restart my taper. Better times are coming and well be stronger for what we have experienced.

[[Je...]]

2 hours ago, [[G...] said:

I love what you said.  It's so true.  How could little things bother us after this?  It definitely changes a person.  We'll be more compassionate and endure hard times much better than we ever could before.    We'll be better for having gone through this as painful as it is.  Thanks for this post and looking at the positive side of this!  St. Paul said that suffering produces character.  This is truly a character-producing ordeal.

Exactly.  How could we not be a better person after this? I guess some people could end up being mean and taking it out in the world but I feel the only way through this is with compassion and empathy towards others.  Getting outside ourselves and helping others is a great form of healing. 
 

I was thinking of the little things that bothered me in the past and those things don’t bother me even a tiny bit because I’m just trying to make it through the day.  
 

and what a character builder this is.  Probably one of the most challenging things anyone of us will ever go through.  

[[Je...]]

2 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I'm already so much better than I was and I'm not off the two meds I've been taking. I've been holding for about 10 months after a severe crash and have improved so much in that time. I'm now ready to restart my taper. Better times are coming and well be stronger for what we have experienced.

Keep going!  I admire your ability to hold and stabilize that long.  I think that is probably the hardest part of tapering is actually holding because we know that our benzo brain wants to rush us to get off this so I really know how hard that must be.  
 

Heal on and hopefully your next drop will be much easier. Cheers!

[[Th...]]

20 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Keep going!  I admire your ability to hold and stabilize that long.  I think that is probably the hardest part of tapering is actually holding because we know that our benzo brain wants to rush us to get off this so I really know how hard that must be.  
 

Heal on and hopefully your next drop will be much easier. Cheers!

It‘a been really hard to hold at times. You know that feeling of having to keep feeding yourself that poison when it’s the last thing you want in your body. But I knew I had to wait. I was very destabilised for quite a while but I don’t think I’m getting too much more stable than I am now while I’m still on the meds. So now that I’m feeling better it’s time to continue getting off this muck!

 

Thanks for checking in and thanks for the well wishes! 

[[gr...]]

In retrospect I would taper instead of CT. For over 6 months I didn't sleep, eat much and anxiety ruled me. Kept going because I wanted to finally be there for my children and family. They don't understand benzo withdrawal, yet they stayed by me and were kind. Now I can be kind too. Still suffering from brain fog and sleep issues, but that is gradually getting better too. Thank you for listening.

[[It...]]

I love everything about this posts and it's comments. Exactly what I needed to read today. 

Although I still deal with lingering stuff and the occasional rougher wave, my life has changed in unimaginable positive ways over the last 3.5 years. Benzo withdrawal, as horrific and traumatizing as it was saved my life in many ways I can't explain. 

I would never wish this on my worst enemy nor would I ever want to walk this path again myself, but in the most bizarre way, I am also so very grateful for it. 

[[Je...]]

9 hours ago, [[I...] said:

I love everything about this posts and it's comments. Exactly what I needed to read today. 

Although I still deal with lingering stuff and the occasional rougher wave, my life has changed in unimaginable positive ways over the last 3.5 years. Benzo withdrawal, as horrific and traumatizing as it was saved my life in many ways I can't explain. 

I would never wish this on my worst enemy nor would I ever want to walk this path again myself, but in the most bizarre way, I am also so very grateful for it. 

That’s how I look at it!  When I went to rehab it was horrible.  It was for opiates.  And that hell made me so proud of myself for making it through.  
 

im assuming you probably don’t get bothered over the little things anymore ya? And appreciate things you probably didn’t before?  When I get a good day, which is rare, I am so grateful for it.  Where as before that day would just be another day and I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to. 

[[Je...]]

16 hours ago, [[T...] said:

It‘a been really hard to hold at times. You know that feeling of having to keep feeding yourself that poison when it’s the last thing you want in your body. But I knew I had to wait. I was very destabilised for quite a while but I don’t think I’m getting too much more stable than I am now while I’m still on the meds. So now that I’m feeling better it’s time to continue getting off this muck!

Thanks for checking in and thanks for the well wishes! 

I know.  I hate having to put that shit in my body especially when it doesn’t do anything for us besides us not going into seizures.  
 

I think if we rush it, we potentially can go back up to a higher dose if our symptoms are too intense and then we go backwards.  
 

I tapered too fast at one point because I thought I could push through it, because I’m so strong! Yeah right.  I ended up taking a higher dose for 2 weeks because of it and put me in even worse withdrawals than the previous dose.

Holding is the hardest part of this process.  Because we are making progress but we feel like we aren’t.  I’m glad you are feeling better from a hold and ready to keep goin!

[[Th...]]

1 hour ago, [[J...] said:

I know.  I hate having to put that shit in my body especially when it doesn’t do anything for us besides us not going into seizures.  
 

I think if we rush it, we potentially can go back up to a higher dose if our symptoms are too intense and then we go backwards.  
 

I tapered too fast at one point because I thought I could push through it, because I’m so strong! Yeah right.  I ended up taking a higher dose for 2 weeks because of it and put me in even worse withdrawals than the previous dose.

Holding is the hardest part of this process.  Because we are making progress but we feel like we aren’t.  I’m glad you are feeling better from a hold and ready to keep goin!

For my other medication i tapered way too fast multiple times under instruction from my Dr then ended up crashing badly and had to hold for 10 months and go through hell. I made it 65% of the way off the med before I crashed but I’m sure i would be further down the road if I had’ve been able to continue tapering. I’m only not feeling ready to start tapering. For other people it can take years to stabilise. I was lucky to mostly stabilise in 10 months.

You would like you’ve got a really good attitude about this man. I think attitude has a large part to play and that you’ll be ok in the end. Look forward to reading your success story!

[[Je...]]

4 hours ago, [[T...] said:

For my other medication i tapered way too fast multiple times under instruction from my Dr then ended up crashing badly and had to hold for 10 months and go through hell. I made it 65% of the way off the med before I crashed but I’m sure i would be further down the road if I had’ve been able to continue tapering. I’m only not feeling ready to start tapering. For other people it can take years to stabilise. I was lucky to mostly stabilise in 10 months.

You would like you’ve got a really good attitude about this man. I think attitude has a large part to play and that you’ll be ok in the end. Look forward to reading your success story!

Same here.  Was on high doses of lyrica in rehab for opiate withdrawls and the docs cut me off a super high dose and it reallY messed up my CNS.  Up until this point, I was handling the withdrawals pretty well.

Hey even if you have to hold 10 months, just keep remembering that you will eventually be ready to taper again.  Our bodies are really good at telling us when we are healing or need more time healing.  
 

Appreciate your kind words, stay strong brother!

[[La...]]

This grabbed my attention because one thing I do know is that when we as humans go through a traumatic experience, it does cause changes in more than one way. There’s value that can be taken from trauma. This experience has given me many new or refined benefits in my life. You can’t go through something like this without any after effects/ affects. Just like gold tried in a fire…WOW does it shine! You know what, when I think about it, some of those habits I had prior to this could’ve caused even death. For example, I’m eating clean and watching everything I put in my body. Before, if it looked good…I ate it taking for granted that I was healthy. But it wouldn’t have been long before it caught up with me manifesting as HBP, diabetes, etc. 
It also made me aware of toxic people I had in my life. I was too sick for them to use me so they left me! Hurt like hell at first but what a blessing in disguise it is! They went out the door and most of my stress went with them. I didn’t realize how much they affected me with all their issues ( it’s yous). Mainly, they were causing their own problems then dumping them on my lap because they knew I had a loving heart. Now, as I’m healing…here they come but NOPE not today! I smile and say look to God! Never in my life have I felt so empowered to not let toxic people drain me dry. I’m loving the new me! I’m looking forward to my complete healing. 
I have a new found appreciation for the phrase “ there’s no testimony without a test”. 

[[Es...]]

@[Je...]

Been there, done that. It's my third BZD WD. The first two were successful, but I relapsed. Not sure if I can manage this time. I can tell you one thing. Life without the BZD is incomparably better. But it's one long hard road out of hell to get out.

Yes, and as @Glitter said, this experience changes us immensely. We become more compassionate individuals and our whole outlook on life changes for the better. We're not bothered by trivial little things anymore. Our values and priorities change. We become much more spiritual and less materialistic.

Edited September 9, 2023 by [Es...]

[[Je...]]

On 08/08/2023 at 09:20, [[L...] said:

This grabbed my attention because one thing I do know is that when we as humans go through a traumatic experience, it does cause changes in more than one way. There’s value that can be taken from trauma. This experience has given me many new or refined benefits in my life. You can’t go through something like this without any after effects/ affects. Just like gold tried in a fire…WOW does it shine! You know what, when I think about it, some of those habits I had prior to this could’ve caused even death. For example, I’m eating clean and watching everything I put in my body. Before, if it looked good…I ate it taking for granted that I was healthy. But it wouldn’t have been long before it caught up with me manifesting as HBP, diabetes, etc. 
It also made me aware of toxic people I had in my life. I was too sick for them to use me so they left me! Hurt like hell at first but what a blessing in disguise it is! They went out the door and most of my stress went with them. I didn’t realize how much they affected me with all their issues ( it’s yous). Mainly, they were causing their own problems then dumping them on my lap because they knew I had a loving heart. Now, as I’m healing…here they come but NOPE not today! I smile and say look to God! Never in my life have I felt so empowered to not let toxic people drain me dry. I’m loving the new me! I’m looking forward to my complete healing. 
I have a new found appreciation for the phrase “ there’s no testimony without a test”. 

Everything you have said it so amazing!!  When you go through hell and come out, you have so much strength and confidence and self love for having made it through that you can’t put up with the people who use to bring you down or suck you for your energy.

 

We learn to protect our energy because we have radiant positive energy that should be shared with others who uplift us.  1 + 1 = 3 

 

We spend time on those who appreciate our kindness.  I was like you and in the past I would just shell out my energy to anyone.  They would abuse my kindness and leave me rotting alone with nothing.  
 

But what we are going through is closest to hell on earth and I know so many people who couldn’t stand one day in our shoes going through Benzo WD.  
 

Keep spreading love to those who deserve it and I wish those will give you the love back you deserve! 

[[Je...]]

On 09/09/2023 at 08:18, [[E...] said:

@[Je...]

Been there, done that. It's my third BZD WD. The first two were successful, but I relapsed. Not sure if I can manage this time. I can tell you one thing. Life without the BZD is incomparably better. But it's one long hard road out of hell to get out.

Yes, and as @Glitter said, this experience changes us immensely. We become more compassionate individuals and our whole outlook on life changes for the better. We're not bothered by trivial little things anymore. Our values and priorities change. We become much more spiritual and less materialistic.

I’m sorry to hear that.  I’ve relapsed on opiates a couple times.  And right out of rehab.  Been through the ringer on multiple substances and many times I never thought I would make it out I somehow did.

And what you said about trivial things.  Man, I use to get upset about the stupidest stuff.  Now, how can I get mad over dumb little things.  I’m battling something so much bigger and I’ve already been through so much hell that the little things that use to bother me don’t even present themselves as problems.

 

I look back and my previous anxiety days pre benzo.  Man, how if I get a day at that level of anxiety I am grateful!  I am grateful if I don’t wake up completely drenched in sweat with my heart pounding out my chest. I am grateful for my anxiety being a 7/10 instead of an 11/10.

 

That has made me appreciate my life, my mom and my dog, which has limited time due to his age and health.  I appreciate everyday I have with him.  And I appreciate the days I almost ODed.  I got another shot at life.  Many do not.  
 

If you made it through hell 2 times, you can do it again! 

[[La...]]

On 11/09/2023 at 23:22, [[J...] said:

Everything you have said it so amazing!!  When you go through hell and come out, you have so much strength and confidence and self love for having made it through that you can’t put up with the people who use to bring you down or suck you for your energy.

We learn to protect our energy because we have radiant positive energy that should be shared with others who uplift us.  1 + 1 = 3 

We spend time on those who appreciate our kindness.  I was like you and in the past I would just shell out my energy to anyone.  They would abuse my kindness and leave me rotting alone with nothing.  
 

But what we are going through is closest to hell on earth and I know so many people who couldn’t stand one day in our shoes going through Benzo WD.  
 

Keep spreading love to those who deserve it and I wish those will give you the love back you deserve! 

Beautiful and true! Thanks and you too, we will get through this one day at a time. Be encouraged! 

[[bh...]]

 

If you are on the edge of the abyss, don't jump.

If you are going through hell, don't stop.

As long as you are breathing, there is hope.

As long as day follows night, there is hope.

Nothing stays the same forever

One day u will heal

 

[[Cc...]]

Personally, I'm counting on it. I'm not sure (at all), but I plan on finding out. Whatever happens, it can't possibly be worse than the tapering has been.