One year today!

[[hl...]]

Hey guys, today is the day! July 12th. This marks 1 full year since my last dose of klonapin. How do I feel? Terrible. Worse than acute. Infact I think I’m worse off than I’ve ever been. Still agoraphobic. My nervous system is over stimulated all the time. I feel like the world isn’t real, and my panic symptoms have a short fuse. It looks like I’ve wasted an entire year of my life feeling terrible and have nothing to show for it. Frankly I’m tired of being on this forum. I’m tired of reading anecdotal bullshit giving myself false hope that one day I’ll just wake up and feel better. I can’t feed into this delusion any longer…

I went out today and it was terrible. I felt stuck and live I was being overstimulated by everything. It’s like I’m on the verge of a panic attack 24/7 and can’t come down. It’s clear my nervous system is damaged and can’t handle being outside…

 

I feel like I’ve been searching for answers to my problems and I can’t find them here, so I’m going to give it one last shot before I’m gone for good off this forum.

 

Do we REALLY heal?

Does agoraphobia go away?

Does pots go away?

Will I ever be able to go out into the world without being overstimulated and panicking all the time?

 

That’s it.

[[he...]]

POTS did go away when I switched to a higher dose of Xanax SR from Lorazepam (which was the worst of all). After I tapered Xanax SR I'm still good and 95% I'm free from POTS.

[[Ma...]]

Please don’t give up HOPE! You just can’t. You just CAN’T! Next week? Next month?!?! You have a year of healing behind you.

Look, I am bed bound. BED BOUND I say, but I just know my time is coming. If I can hold on, so can you. 🙏

[[hl...]]

Please don’t give up HOPE! You just can’t. You just CAN’T! Next week? Next month?!?! You have a year of healing behind you.

Look, I am bed bound. BED BOUND I say, but I just know my time is coming. If I can hold on, so can you. 🙏

 

How do you find the strength to keep pushing through? My life has been destroyed by these drugs. I can’t leave the house! Everytime I go out, it feels like I’m in candy land!! My nervous system is so fried from this, everything sets me off. I don’t have a brake pedal. It’s literally torture being outside

[[Ma...]]

Trust me, I present like a lunatic when I go outside. I haven’t had my hair cut in 6 months, look 25 years older then I am and the chemical anxiety is stratospheric. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

BUT, I just believe this is temporary. Nothing stays the same or lasts forever.

I tell myself constantly: Next summer. Just keep going. Next summer will be YOUR summer!

And this isn’t my 1st time getting off prescription drugs. I’m absolutely appalled I am going through this again so I remind myself it’s the LAST time.

You just have to keep going. No matter what. Try to think about how wonderful life will be. Because it WILL be beautiful again!!! ❤️

[[hl...]]

Trust me, I present like a lunatic when I go outside. I haven’t had my hair cut in 6 months, look 25 years older then I am and the chemical anxiety is stratospheric. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

BUT, I just believe this is temporary. Nothing stays the same or lasts forever.

I tell myself constantly: Next summer. Just keep going. Next summer will be YOUR summer!

And this isn’t my 1st time getting off prescription drugs. I’m absolutely appalled I am going through this again so I remind myself it’s the LAST time.

You just have to keep going. No matter what. Try to think about how wonderful life will be. Because it WILL be beautiful again!!! ❤️

 

I told myself this would be my summer, and here I am feeling worse than ever. I don’t even know if what I am experiencing is chemical anxiety, or even anxiety. It’s like my brain and my nervous system can’t handle being outside. I just get revved up so easily and I feel like I’m going to seize out and black out. There’s no escape, nothing brings me down. The only solution is going home. My CNS is destroyed

[[Ma...]]

Nah, not destroyed. Just re-booting! But I completely understand. If I allow a sting emotion? It’s over for me. So I stay in the moment, relax, breathe and just…hold on.

I decided I will live until 100 because my entire system is being rebuilt, renewed!

Now, talk to me come fall? Heh…

I kid! Let’s get through this together!

[[hl...]]

Nah, not destroyed. Just re-booting! But I completely understand. If I allow a sting emotion? It’s over for me. So I stay in the moment, relax, breathe and just…hold on.

I decided I will live until 100 because my entire system is being rebuilt, renewed!

Now, talk to me come fall? Heh…

I kid! Let’s get through this together!

 

I shouldn’t be this bad this far off. This whole process is nonsense. I need to accept that I will be like this forever and won’t improve. My life is over