About to start Xanax taper and worried

[[Pa...]]

About to start xanax withdrawl, help and advice sought

 

Dear Everyone,

 

22 years ago I withdrew from Valium and it took 12 months. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. This website helped.

 

This time around I have been on Xanax for maybe 8 or 9 years.

 

I took it as a last resort as I had chronic OCD and PTSD from childhood trauma that was leaving me unable to sleep or function.

 

I have done a huge amount of work on the ocd and would say that I am “recovered” but still can experience it to a degree “, worse when stressed but absolutely nothing like it was.

 

On the PTSD trauma side that can manifest as hypervigilance of an evening and also interfere with sleeping at a normal time, I have also been working hard on this (it was what was underlying cause of much of the ocd) and I'm able to sleep much better now and have released a lot of the trauma stored in my body already through specialist groups and help. I grew up in an alcoholic violent house as a child)

 

Now that I'm so much better I feel I want to wean off the Xanax.

 

I take two doses a day one early  evening and then one 6 hours later in the night.

 

Approx 1.125 mg first dose and then

0.875 microgrammes on the 2nd dose.

 

It's crept up to this over several years but this had been by set dose for a few years now.

 

Although still slightly therapeutic to a degree, I feel I'm ready to let go and let God again and withdraw gradually.

 

I'm not keen to swap to valium which I appreciate is a proven method, I'm more keen to withdraw gradually and space the Xanax etc and take my time.

 

One of my biggest fears is that my short-term memory has not been great lately, this may in part be to mental stress as I have a lot going on with work and some family recovering from illness, but I feel I can attribute it mainly to the Xanax.

 

I'm very worried as I have read that even after stopping sometimes memory can not return to what it was before I began taking. Also, I have fears about getting early dementia because apparently taking long term it can increase the risk of that.  I don’t have that now but don't want to get it and so this is another key motivator.

 

I'm a recent medical cannabis patient and have started to use small amounts to try to help with focus in the day and relaxation and sleep at night as the prescription medications are not very effective for me - including Xanax and I feel this could be much less dangerous for me. ( I hope)

 

Ok being open, I'm worried about having severe withdrawal and dying etc even though I intend to taper very slowly, even if it takes me 2 or 3 years!

 

Would anyone have any advice on all of this? And has anyone had success with medical cannabis / CBD etc? I also intend to mix cardio and gym into the mix.

 

Did memory improve after withdrawal?

 

I know cannabis can affect memory also but as far as I can tell from short research once withdrawn memory returns. And my hope is that eventually I will not need anything.

 

So I have some fear right now at the prospect of withdrawal and if I have irreversibly damaged my short-term memory.

 

Much love gratitude and appreciation.

 

P

[[Pa...]]

It’s good to see you’ve been doing the work that will help you get off the drug and stay off, those tools will come in handy while you’re tapering and recovering.  I worry though that you have quite a bit of stress with family and work, is now the best time?

 

As for cannabis, it can be helpful for some, not so much for others, there is quite a bit of dissuasion about it on this thread. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=165140.0

 

My memory definitely improved when I quit Klonopin but now I’m old so there’s that. 

[[Pa...]]

Thanks Pamster,

Yes you make a very valid point about is it the right time with so much going on.

 

Yes I have a good support network and am working through a childhood trauma course so now I'm thinking about it that is bringing up some weird stuff anyway so maybe it's best to wait to get though that and stabilize.

 

I might just reduce by a tiny amount and stay in that hold position for 3 to 6 months. Then at least I will feel positive that I have made a start.

 

Much gratitude to you!

 

God bless,

 

Paul

[[Pa...]]

I like your plan, I hope you’ll keep us posted on your progress.

[[Pa...]]

Thanks shall do!