When does the misery end

[[Re...]]

I am so miserable and in uncontrollable, unbearable physical pain. Day in and day out it is the same story. Not a window of relief.

 

I pace like a wild animal with Akathisia

I feel like I am observing myself from outside of my body this is all so surreal

My muscles feel like I am being blown up by an air pump

My skin burns or feels like someone is pressing hairbrushes against it

I vibrate from my chest through the balls of my feet

My ears ring like sirens

Even quiet sounds hurt my ears

My armpits smell like cat piss

I can barely sleep

My hands and eyelids shake, and my lower face quivers 

 

I don't ever feel comfortable or relaxed. I don't feel hope any more. I do not feel faith. I had such a colorful life before this. I miss it. I miss dinners out with friends, traveling, working, meditating, exercising, being able to easily shower or eat, or just hearing silence.

 

Everyone must be tired of hearing about my horrendous experience. I am tired of sharing it.

[[Be...]]

I am so miserable and in uncontrollable, unbearable physical pain. Day in and day out it is the same story. Not a window of relief.

 

I pace like a wild animal 

I feel like I am observing myself from outside of my body this is all so surreal

My muscles feel like I am being blown up by an air pump

My skin burns or feels like someone is pressing hairbrushes against it

I vibrate from my chest through the balls of my feet

My ears ring like sirens

Even quiet sounds hurt my ears

My armpits smell like cat piss

I can barely sleep

My hands and eyelids shake, and my lower face quivers 

 

I don't ever feel comfortable or relaxed. I don't feel hope any more. I do not feel faith. I had such a colorful life before this. I miss it. I miss dinners out with friends, traveling, working, meditating, exercising, being able to easily shower or eat, or just hearing silence.

 

Everyone must be tired of hearing about my horrendous experience. I am tired of sharing it.

So sorry Rebecca...What was the reason you were put on benzos...Sorry to ask..

[[Re...]]

My dad was dying, and I was grieving. Why do you ask?

[[Be...]]

My dad was dying, and I was grieving. Why do you ask?

I asked because I just wanted to emphasize on the carelessness of doctors and also to let you know that you will be stronger when you heal..

[[Re...]]

My dad was dying, and I was grieving. Why do you ask?

I asked because I just wanted to emphasize on the carelessness of doctors and also to let you know that you will be stronger when you heal..

 

The doctors truthfully need to be medicated. I often feel they are projecting onto patients when they have more "mental problems" than we do.

[[Co...]]

THIS!!! I was in cortizone withdrawal and was still less riled up than my own GP but all she did was write me nasty things and push me out of her office. The psychiatrist I checked with to get some time off really had mental issues, even my parents realized (too late) she projected her own things onto her patients and should not be practicing.

[[Re...]]

Ever been on the Reddit doctors and nurses threads? It's SICK how they talk about patients behind their backs. Absolutely disgusting. They are completely desensitized to having any compassion or relating to humanity in any way.

[[Co...]]

Yes, everyone becomes a number. But it's sad even a family doctor you've been close to doesn't care to act ethical.

 

One of my friends works as someone deciding whether refugees get to stay or not. She also says it desensitizes you so much so fast. She's only been doing it a couple of months. On top of that, most doctors here lack logical thinking for some reason but have all huge egos. I think you kinda need that to deal with people's lives.

 

 

[[Re...]]

I just posted a video ob BB that Dr's Josef and Melissa Witt-Doerring put up on YouTube discussing benzo injuries and the DSM-5. 

They said in an 800-page DSM-5 Manual, there are THREE PAGES, that's right THREE PAGES on drug side effects. No wonder we get judged, ostracized, and misdiagnosed right and left. Literally, the Witt-Doerring's say here there is one paragraph in the DSM-5 for TD, dystonia, parkinsonism, Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS), and yes, Akathisia. ONE SINGLE PARAGRAPH in an entire 800-page handbook for psychiatry on these severe, life-altering drug effects. This is the world that we live in. How does this even exist? Unless you are in this hellscape world, you will never ever know it does. And to boot your loved ones get sucked down the drain with you and they have severe trauma as a result.

[[Co...]]

Yes! Honestly I have more secondary trauma from trying to seek help. I should have never been on cortisone. Every other doctor I have seen now and especially neurologists fpund it insane they gave it for clogged ears. So it was stupid to even have it checked but it was after diving and I had a flight scheduled so I went to ask if I should postpone. I should have followed my gut. I asked the right questions and got the wrong asnwers but should have trusted myself to have asked them for a reason. Then I wanted to handle it naturally all these weird anxiety symptoms and tinnitus and OCD so I sought therapy and then the therapists recommended all kinds of sleeping aids which is completely not their area even so that was suspicious but I was stupid enough to have my parents at the appointment to learn as well what was going on with me and dad fully trusted them and paniced because I was having burnout like symptoms for 6 weeks. I was still fully functional in that withdrawal and really just believed the therapy center. The therapy and help I sought again just made me incredibly much worse. And then all the gaslighting, first with tinnitus and my questions about cortisone, then with this. I didn't even really have trauma to go to therapy for, just wanted some encouragement in acceptance and gratitude. I don't have gratitude anymore about life because of it. So sad. This is so lonely.

[[Re...]]

Yes! Honestly I have more secondary trauma from trying to seek help. I should have never been on cortisone. Every other doctor I have seen now and especially neurologists fpund it insane they gave it for clogged ears. So it was stupid to even have it checked but it was after diving and I had a flight scheduled so I went to ask if I should postpone. I should have followed my gut. I asked the right questions and got the wrong asnwers but should have trusted myself to have asked them for a reason. Then I wanted to handle it naturally all these weird anxiety symptoms and tinnitus and OCD so I sought therapy and then the therapists recommended all kinds of sleeping aids which is completely not their area even so that was suspicious but I was stupid enough to have my parents at the appointment to learn as well what was going on with me and dad fully trusted them and paniced because I was having burnout like symptoms for 6 weeks. I was still fully functional in that withdrawal and really just believed the therapy center. The therapy and help I sought again just made me incredibly much worse. And then all the gaslighting, first with tinnitus and my questions about cortisone, then with this. I didn't even really have trauma to go to therapy for, just wanted some encouragement in acceptance and gratitude. I don't have gratitude anymore about life because of it. So sad. This is so lonely.

 

I am so sad to hear that you went through all of this Cocodot. I hear you, I really do. Please know that.

[[Co...]]

I appreciate it, Rebecca. You are being so strong. We all see your strength. I know it is absolutely frustrating and incredibly unfair.

[[te...]]

I have gone thru all that you have mentioned and a few other symptoms , I have been off the site for 2 years I posted today in regards to drug allergy but I happened to read your post .

I feel almost 80 percent my self sleep is still difficult and I have a lot of anxiety off and on but I remember the days you speak of and for me they lasted for a little over 1 year .

My heart goes out to all that go thru this but you can do it , it’s the worst experience ever but it does go and every day after a while gets better .

Wishing you peaceful feelings

[[Re...]]

Thank you, Tech. The issue for me is this Seroquel and if it is making things worse or not. And tapering I get worse. So it seems that I am stuck. I even had an adverse reaction to morphine because of the akathisia. Glad you are feeling better.

[[Ra...]]

Rebecca.

How many mos are you out. I was miserable. Finally at 17 mos it really started to break. It happens. Just takes time

[[Oc...]]

I’m benzo free since feb2021 and still I suffer !!!!!!!!