Just an Average Person that Trusted Prescribing Health Provider

[[St...]]

Hi,

 

In 2012 my wife of 23 yrs took her life and in the aftershock I sought counseling through my work's Employee Assistance benefit.  Lots of counseling w/ the provider of services at that time, and eventual prescription if Lexapro 10mg 1 daily and Clonazepam 0.5mg one daily.  Stayed on them almost two years then quit them under a taper reduction schedule provided by the psychiatrist.  I can't remember but it wasn't debilitating or too difficult.

 

2018 I returned to the provider due to some pop-up anxiety issues.  Prescribed Clonazapam 0.5mg once daily "as needed".  I didn't use them a lot.  60 ct bottle and as of February 2023 29 tablets remained.  The other 31 came in handy as needed over the prior years.  No problem, only took them rarely.

 

Now to present day.  Since 2012 I've buried most of my family all natural causes except my late 1st wife and my big brother.  I'd say I have some experience with dealing with loss.  January 2023 I had a medical event that struck that when it was occurring I genuinely thought I was going to die then and there.  Heart rhythm related.  In the weeks following I sought medical evaluation.  My old friend anxiety came back, with a vengeance.  I began taking the remainder of the 2018 prescription and they were still effective. I then went and saw same provider who prescribed the prior times.  Prescribed Zoloft and 0.5mg clonazapam "1 tablet daily as needed for severe anxiety" (30 tablets).oloft gave my explosive diahrea so it went bye bye in favor of Lexapro (again)which I haven't started yet.

 

I need to shorten this up so the reason for being here is because this time around things are not smooth at all.  For some reason the 0.5mg hits hard and makes me short of breath, with night time awakenings literally gasping for air like my lungs are still asleep even though the rest of me is wide awake.  Heart rate spike from fear about that, until I consciously force deep breaths exhaling through nose to calm myself.  happen several times a night.  Reduced to half tablet (0.25mg), same effect, slightly not as pronounced.  Reduced to 1/4 tablet seemed to normalize.  1/4 at bedtime 1/4 morning, 12hrs apart.  Was working okay, but decided I want off because of the change, either my metabolism has changed or purity issue with the tablets, who knows.  Called provider.  She refused to give me a taper off schedule at all, not verbally nor on email.  Said I should stay on them.  Should note she is old school been practicing for prob 30 + yrs minimum. 

 

After educating myself on clonazepam, and learning the dangers I never investigated before (trusted the provider), I want off.  I'm sensitive to meds and tried to self-taper after taking the drug for about 6 weeks now AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL AT ALL.

 

I failed once already.  Day 2 after cessation coming off a too fast taper of 5 days (I'm so stupid) rebound anxiety with elevated blood pressure, faster pulse, and insomnia started up and was not joking with me.  I ended up going back to 0.25mg (1/2 tablet) bedtime and morning (usually 10pm and 10am) with plans to get rested up and evened up then try again but with my primary care doctor giving me taper advice.

 

That advice isn't working too well.  I'm here for some fellowship and to learn.  I'm physically dependent on this drug because I was naive and stupid, plain and simple.

 

Garden variety doctors just don't seem to put much effort into helping with quitting this drug.  I have hope that I can gain some valuable info here on this forum and try to taper properly.  Next week will mark week 7 of clonazepam use. Longer I'm on it, harder it will be, but I just don't do sleep deprivation and rebound anxiety well-- there has to be a better way than my failures so far. 

 

I will say this, with my limited experience with withdrawal, I don't see how anyone taking this benzo or others at higher doses for longer time spans can live through what that withdrawal must be like.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Sti11Livin2023, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I'm sorry to hear your doctor doesn't know how to deprescribe you from the Klonopin but you came to the right place, we do.  Unfortunately, we haven't found a way to do this without pain, even slow tapers can cause unpleasant symptoms for those of us who are sensitive to these medications.

 

Your second experience with this drug is a common one, the body seems to remember past use and cessation and makes us pay for it, there is a theory called kindling which seems to apply to us.  Kindling

 

We typically suggest reducing your dose by about 5-10% every couple of weeks but we find that using your symptoms to guide your reductions will keep you functional.  We hope those who only took the drug for a short time can taper faster but if symptoms are too rough, then slowing down is the best course of action.

 

This process takes a long time to recover from but we hope those who take the drug for a shorter time can heal in terms of weeks and months instead of months and years.

 

We're glad you're here, I'll include some links to help you get started.

 

Pamster

 

Colorado  Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Planning  Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

Withdrawal  Support (during your taper)

 

Ashton  Manual symptom list