Introduction

[[Th...]]

Hi,

 

looking for advice and support - I have been on Bromazepam for 3 months + another 3 months tapering - finished tapering 2 weeks ago

 

now experiencing a wave, my main withdrawal syptom is insomnia

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Thousand01   Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

I am pleased you’re here with us.  Did you slow taper? withdrawal is not a pleasant journey but It will get better, it’s a matter of  time.  Insomnia is a common withdrawal symptom sorry you’re struggling.  For now, try to distract from any symptoms, I know this is difficult but it does help. Browse the forum and post questions, we’ll help you all we can, you will get plenty of support here.

 

Check out The Ashton Manual,  It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body, It also has a list of common symptoms 

 

Here are a few helpful links

 

The Ashton Manual. 

Post withdrawal recovery support.   

 

You might like to check out the insomnia board.

 

Insomnia 

 

If you care to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita

[[Th...]]

thanks for your reply, Magrita 

 

My tapering process looked like this:

 

december 2022: 6mg Bromazepam > 0,75mg

January 2023: 0,75mg > 0,375mg

February 2023: 0,375mg > 0mg

 

So I have been off Bromazepam for 2 weeks, with a 2 day window in the middle of quite the wave.

 

My doctor advised me to take 2,5mg Olanzapine, if the withdrawal process causes me to develop psychotic thoughts and anxiety - but I am hesitant to take the Olanzapine, because it doesn't seem to help with the insomnia (tried it during the last 4 days: 2,5mg in the evenings), even if it helps reducing the restlessness.

 

Now I find myself wondering, if it wouldn't be better to just focus on the Benzo and go back to 0,375mg to help with the insomnia

 

I have a very demanding job (which I like), so I'd like to stay functional, which isn't the case, given the intensity of the current wave and the insomnia. I took two weeks off to deal with the wave, but it doesn't seem to get any better.

 

I fall asleep quickly, but wake up after 2-3 hours and I am unable doze off after that. This results in anxiety for the rest of the night and the following day(s).

 

I just hope, that there will be a window soon, haven't had a decent night of sleep for a week. 

 

 

 

 

[[ma...]]

Hello Thousand01, I understand this must be difficult for you especially with a demanding job.  I had insomnia but wasn’t working, I lost my job because symptoms made it impossible to work. I was long term user 26yrs. I am so glad you decided to taper after 3 months use.  I couldn’t take any medication, even supplements revved up symptoms, although they do help some people so check out the forum.

 

I’m sorry, not familiar with Olanzapine, you could start a topic on other meds

 

Other Medications   

 

It looks like you tapered fast.  Reinstatement is an option you are within the 2 to 4 week window but doesn’t always work and you’ll still have to taper at some point.  If you feel symptoms are unbearable then whatever you choose to do we will be here for you to support you through it

 

Magrita 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Th...]]

thanks Magrita -

 

I just edited my post and forum profile because I forgot to mention, that before the 3 month tapering (December 2022 - February 2023) I took benzos on an irrgular basis for another 3 months (September - October 2022), in order to fight my insomnia.

 

Also I used Benzos occasionally over the last 8 years before that (about 5 times per year), because I have an anxiety condition, which sometimes flares up. This is related to a PTSD, following the suicide of my mother in 2011.

 

Looking back, last years insomnia wasn't that bad, so if I had known what I get myself into, I would have made better decisions.

 

sorry for the lack of clarity!

[[ma...]]

Hi again Thousand01,  Thank you for providing us with your benzo history.  Many people are prescribed benzos for insomnia, Ive never had any sleep issues in my life, until withdrawal.  Benzos caused my Insomnia, also caused my extreme anxiety, thankfully I did get back to normal, I'm sure you will too. 

 

Look forward to seeing you posting around the forum, let us know if you need any help

 

 

Magrita

[[Th...]]

First let me say, how glad I am, that there is a place, where we can share our experiences regarding benzo withdrawal. It helps so much to know, that I am not alone. Now I am much more willing to accept what I am going through.

 

It seems to me, that I have tapered fast during the first part of the tapering, but took my time for the second part of tapering - that's why I am quite surprised, that I am being hit by such a wave.

 

I have also read the Ashton Manual, and it seems to me, that many forum users are experiencing much more difficulty even after slow tapering, compared to what Ashton describes.

 

As if finishing the tapering is only the beginning of the suffering - I have to say, that the last week was really difficult for me, and I haven't slept more than 2 hours per night.

 

I wonder if one of the reasons might be, that I was on Bromazepam, which as far as I know is comparable to Lorazepam and should have been replaced by the longer acting Diazepam during tapering. Well, that ship has sailed, as I hope to be strong enough to get through this wave without reinstating or resorting to olanzepine. Fingers crossed.

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Many of our members seem to suffer far worse than what Professor Ashton described, so please don't feel you've done anything wrong with your taper.  Most notice the end of the taper seems to be the most challenging so they slow it way down, its all about adjusting to manage the symptoms.

[[Th...]]

Thanks for your thoughts, Pamster. I actually do think I have done something wrong: Not reading up on Zyprexa before taking it and not mentioning it in my signature. I caught up on that and now realize, it might be quite a big piece of the puzzle.

 

I have amended my Zyprexa history to my signature. And now that I researched the web about this stuff I start to think, maybe it is the reason for my current wave of insomnia after all? Not sure why I hadn't considered this before.

 

When I finally jumped off the Benzos about 2 weeks ago, I took 2.5mg Zyprexa every other night or so. When I finally looked it up, I got worried. Why haven't I looked it up earlier? I guess it's the trust in my psychiatrist, who seems to be a cool guy, and he told me, that it's fine to take it during the final stretch of the Benzo tapering/withdrawal.

 

The plan is to not take it again. I really do hope, that I don't get hit by a psychotic episode - not sure how I could cope without it, since I considered it a safe option for emergencies, like when I can't stop my mind from racing, like it happened a few times during my tapering process of the Benzos.

 

Or maybe I should be cautious and taper the Zyprexa? Any feedback would be appreciated

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

I don't have experience with Zyprexa but I've seen many discussions about it.  You might try asking about it on the Other  Medications board.

[[Th...]]

cheers Pamster

 

I decided to taper Zyprexa - seems to be the safest option. I'm not happy, that I have to go through another tapering process after the Benzo tapering, but hey, what else can I do? I just need to be patient...

 

here is the link to my question about how to split the Zyprexa for tapering (and any advice on how to deal with this stuff):

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=276580.0

[[Th...]]

  Here is an update about my progress: I had a gorgious two week window followed by a horrible wave, which has been lasting since 3 weeks. My only PAWS Symptom is Insomnia.

  Reinstated Zyprexa, then fast tapered it. Now 4 days/nights without medication.

  I resorted to drinking beer, because it seemed to take the edge off. Also had some success drinking beer during the night, which put me to sleep two nights ago. Tried again last night, didn’t work.

  Also smoking loads of cigarettes, unable to control it. I know, how silly it is to resort to beer and cigarettes, but a as all of you might know, there is only a limited amount of control available, and atm I can’t resist. Just hope to get through the day… Already scared of another sleepless night…

  If only I had known how hard post withdrawal recovery is… Would have allowed me for better planning…

 

My only goal is to not reinstate zyprexa. Not sure if i am strong enough…

 

[[Pa...]]

Can you tell us your concerns about being on the Zyprexa, I hate to see you cause your body so much trauma by going on and off of it, it’s got enough to deal with trying to recover from the Bromazpam.

 

Alcohol affects the same receptors as benzo’s, I know it can help with symptoms but I believe you’re delaying your recovery by using it, you’re basically imbibing benzo’s in liquid form.

 

 

[[Th...]]

thanks for your reply Pamster, I really appreciate it. I tried to set myself one goal: No more meds. And I felt like, if I have to drink and smoke to make this happen, it's worth it. But I am also starting to realize, that drinking and smoking makes everything worse, but I can't help it at this point in time...

 

I had a few days (about every other day during the last week), when I was able to control the smoking and drinking (resulting in 10 cigs, 2 beers per day), keeping distracted during the day etc. But after a night like the last one with zero sleep I am loosing control (30-40 cigs and 8 beers per day/night). Not really able to go outside or do anything good for myself.

 

It has been 4 days/nights, since I took the last dose of Zyprexa, so I was hoping not to loose that progress. It messes me up, and if there is any chance to get rid of it, I am going for it. Also thinking, that zyprexa wd might be the reason for my insomnia. Like if i manage one week without it things will improve… not sure…

 

But yeah, I seem to be going in circles, and don't really know a way out... My insomnia is horrific. At least the resulting anxiety seems to be less intense...

 

[[Th...]]

Can you tell us your concerns about being on the Zyprexa, I hate to see you cause your body so much trauma by going on and off of it, it’s got enough to deal with trying to recover from the Bromazepam.

 

What would be your advice? Would you reinstate the zyprexa? I took 2.5mg per evening. Just wondering, what your approach would be?

[[Pa...]]

I don’t know anything about Zyprexa, I was wondering why you’re so determined to stay off of it.  We typically suggest only tapering or changing one medication at a time, so I was hoping you’d explain to me what your motivation is for staying off of it when you’re going through benzo withdrawal.

[[Th...]]

My psychiatrist gave me the Zyprexa to help me with extreme episodes of insomnia during the benzo withdrawal. It helped me to get through the roughest patches, i.e. when I had 3 nights in a row without any sleep, 2.5mg Zyprexa allowed me to find some rest, basically using it as an emergency medication

 

I jumped off Benzos 75 days ago and made some good progress recovering, until I have hit this massive wave, which has been lasting for 3 weeks. I just hope the next window is around the corner!

 

My hope is, that my natural sleep will return eventually, like it did before the wave - but atm I feel like I am stuck. As mentioned earlier I started drinking beer, which turned out to be an issue, for the reasons you described. So I will do my best to minimize/remove alcohol from the equation. I am sure you are right, that it is slowing down my recovery, maybe it's even the cause for this long wave...

 

Same for nicotine: Being so nervous and agitated, I am smoking way too many cigarettes, which doesn't help with sleeping at all.

 

So I seem to be caught in a bad place with multiple substances messing with me. One thing to mention is, that if I take Zyprexa, I find it much easier to let go off the cigarettes and alcohol.

 

Now I am wondering how to get out of this mess of my own making...

 

One option would be to reinstate Zyprexa (2.5 mg in the evening), this would allow me to get rid of the alcohol and to dial down the cigarettes. Then I could focus on a slow taper of the Zyprexa, once I have established some sort of stability and sleep.

 

This wave has been a downward spiral, and I have to find a way to get back on track.

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Thank you for explaining and even though alcohol and cigarettes are your comfortable known substances, I believe the alcohol at least is harmful to your recovery.  We have countless pages of members who drank during withdrawal and recovery who set themselves back by months, panicked posts thinking all is lost.

 

I don’t have experience with cigarettes but if they bring you comfort, then I wouldn’t deny yourself, of course, moderation would be best.

 

I understand wanting to be medication free and you will be but if the Zyprexa is helping you then you might want to  use it for now, and address it after you’ve recovered.

[[Th...]]

thanks you for your thoughts Pamster. I will see if I can get on top of it by reinstating Zyprexa. I took it the last two nights without much success, but it takes a few days to kick in.

 

It's so difficult to get through such a massive wave, which has been throwing me off balance, which only escalates the condition, introducing/inflating additional issues like the beer and cigs.

 

Fingers crossed, that I will calm down a bit over the coming days and nights

[[Pa...]]

I know its difficult to make good choices when we’re so miserable, the only thing you can do is your best at the time.  Don’t be too hard on yourself, that’s another aspect of this process, our negative thoughts beat up on us a lot.

[[Th...]]

yeah, the more messed up we are, the harder it is to make good decisions and not end up in a downward spiral.

 

I managed to get some sleep during the last nights, not great, but at least a basic level. I have also stopped drinking beer/alcohol, but it didn't stop the wave. Still smoking way too many cigarettes, hope I can dial it down eventually. It's crazy, how long this wave is taking.

 

The goal is to get healthy, natural sleep, and Zyprexa certainly interferes with this goal. But that's the compromise I settled for, so let's hope I can gain a certain amount of stability. I would also like to return to work (currently on sick leave), because it is such an important part of my wellbeing. Filling my sick days with meaningful activities has been so draining, and work would help me with that.

 

I just hope, that this wave passes at some point.

 

 

[[Th...]]

good news: the 5-week-wave has passed - I am in a window since about 5 days. It was like flipping a switch - and I can't believe how good life can feel.

 

I am bracing myself for the next wave to hit me, just hoping it won't be another 5-week-monster!

 

Or maybe that was it, who knows...

 

[[Pa...]]

I love hearing about good long windows but its sad we have to steel ourselves for the next wave.  I’m so glad you have hope, its the only thing that gets us through this so please let us know how it goes for you. 

[[Th...]]

Yeah you are right Pamster... After a 2 week window I got hit by another wave.... I just hope it doesn't last as long as the last one.

 

I'm struggling to keep my composure...

 

Last night it was so bad, that I couldn't help it, resorted to drinking beer and chainsmoking, which of course made matters even worse. I hope I can find some sort of balance today and tonight...

[[Th...]]

This wave is relentless. Not even Zyprexa helps calming me down or keeping me functional for work. I am so desparate, nervous and agitated. I just can't believe how hard this is, compared to the tapering of the Benzo, which feels like a walk in the park in hindsight.