Intro

[[mc...]]

Was in tolerance withdrawal. Many misdiagnosis. Believed to have had vaccine reaction in March of 2021. Trigeminal neuralgia. Put on steroids and then many anticonvulsants which I had major reactions to. Was then told I had serotonin syndrome and had to come off of lex. Rapidly. Then misdiagnosed bipolar and lots more drug trials. That diagnosis was removed. By then it was august 2021, was told my symptoms maybe from Klon. Was first switched to at. For 2 weeks and had very bad withdrawals. Then put back on Klon. And then very rapidly tapered from use of .5 to 2 mg klon. Per day. Was told to cold turkey.

Was previously taking .125 per day 16 years then increased to .5 at beginning of pandemic.

Went into extreme symptoms, hallucinating, major tics, neurological reactions. Was told I had fnd. no sleep 2 weeks and was put on tonazapam. Symptoms did not let up and was hospitalized after about 6 weeks. Was ctd off of tonazapam and put on antidepressants and antipsychotics. Also had Akathisia by then. Never any talk of benzo withdrawal. Taken off anti psychotics. Left on proz. And put on 3 mg of Ativan which never worked.

Did not find out what was wrong with me for months. Started at. Taper one year ago March after switch to 30 mg. Val. Down to nearly 10.5 mg. Stuck with holding and 1/2 ml. Water tapering for 2-3 months. Don’t know what to do anymore. Started back up with 1 ml. Water tapering a few days ago.

Consulted with benzo experts who insist on hyperbolic taper- so at least 2 more years and say I need to see therapist for deep rooted trauma. I probably do have trauma by now. Before this happened I was a very stable, mostly normal, high school teacher. Now I am non functional even with many attempts of limbic rewiring and doing normal things. I can’t lie in bed because I can’t stay still so I rock on the couch. I don’t know what other option I have except detox and suffer horribly again, probably worse and maybe worse outcome. I am not doing well psychologically but don’t want to use triggering words. I can’t find anyone else like me to to find hope from. Most weren’t ctd off 2 benzos and then reinstated with no effect and then have to taper 3 years with horrible symptoms and constant feelings of terror. In tolerance, kindled, likely paradoxical. I know I can’t do two more years of this.

[[Pa...]]

Hello mcat2, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I’m so sorry to read the nightmare you’ve been living for far too long, I so wish there were more awareness of benzodiazepine harm, what you’ve been put through is unacceptable.

 

Your story is unique but your plight is shared by many here so I’m hoping we can offer you if not all of the answers, at least some empathy and hope.

 

Can we offer you taper guidance, it looks like you’re experienced in the different methods, how can we help?

 

Pamster

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Ashton Manual symptom list

[[mc...]]

I don’t know how anyone can help anymore. I don’t know what to do. Yes, I am h

Familiar with the tapering methods. It’s hard for me to hear I’m unique but I guess I knew that. I would like to know if anyone has had anything similar and made it through. I think I will post this on the withdrawal section as well.

[[Co...]]

I'm sorry to read your story, mcat2. I think Pamster just meant everyone's story and healing is unique. It wasn't meant to make you feel weirdly unique if that makes sense, just to say we all share symptoms of nervous system dysregulation but which ones exactly and for how long is an individual journey. I wish you well. I hope we can all get off safely.

[[Fa...]]

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing.  I, too, have Akathisia.  I believe mine was from both a trial of an anti-psychotic as well as a rapid start to a taper while already kindled.

 

What was done to you is unconscionable.  I have listened to Chris Paige on YouTube who experienced extreme Akathisia, and I have also listened to Angie Peacock who was poly-drugged over and over, and is now a Coach...as is Chris.  Their stories helped me feel better.  Both on YouTube if you have not heard of them yet.

 

I, too, will be experiencing a very long taper...probably, unless things change, four years.  I have to taper very slowly as that is all my NS can handle.  I understand your feelings of despair, frustration, anger and the list probably goes on.  And, rightfully so.  As Chris and Angie say...and, their stories were extreme...we heal.  We do what we need to do to stay vertical and breathing, one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time.  We lean on each other for support and understanding.  We know what we are each experiencing...we are all unique, but we are all suffering.  And, as they say, the worst kind of suffering is your own suffering.  There are no comparisons.

 

I have been tapering for a year so far, also.  What I have taken into consideration is that my taper may look very different as I go along.  Things may shift and change.  I don't know.  We don't know.  We have more strength inside of us than we know.

 

Warmly,

F

 

 

 

 

 

[[mc...]]

If I could just hold to stabilize and get a moment of relief. But since I’m probably in relative withdrawal i don’t know that it will work or if going slowest of the slow would work. I don’t know how to transfer to another page where more might see it. Can anyone help me with this?  If I could find any other people like me that have made it that I could talk to. I do talk to Chris Paige and his story is horrific. He was not reinstated though. I’m in protracted withdrawal with the kindling effect, being in relative withdrawal and Akathisia. I have to find a way to get some hope. Symptoms have been unrelenting almost 2 years. Do i have any chance of stabilizing. Any chance of making it through this.

[[Pa...]]

If you click on this link you can select New Topic, put in your title, then the message then hit post.  Withdrawal  Support (during your taper)

[[Fa...]]

BUMP