"WARNING": TRIED AD TAPER TOO FAST AFTER BENZO

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Hi.  I spent many hours this morning reading, and rereading so many posts! A life saver!! Thank you to all who post here!  Last July I finished a 3.5 year taper off of klonopin via the Ashton Method.  As it concurred with COVID, it is hard to tell what that time exacerbated!  First 2 years horrendous anxiety with difficulty breathing and  feeling, and self fulfilling, "not being able to swallow". (Doc did test -- no structural damage).  Non stop. No breaks. Other biggie was absolutely no "thoughts" in my head -- as if all had evaporated.  And being at home bound with my husband and self -- as for most who were --"not helpful?!

 

Next, Fall 2021, the nights of no sleep start and continue till present.  January 2022 onset of "depersonalization, derealization, dissocation", no feelings, sense of "self" gone.  So many strange, scary "mental symptoms" that keep evolving.  Killer OCD/intrusive thoughts for hours, days at a time -- where feel like trying to squeeze out any other life in my "mind".

 

I started to titrare off of prozac last September WHILE I was still experiencing heavy duty anxiety, no sleep and "mental" symptoms post klonopin/valium  taper.  Was this a possbible trigger, kicker to me feeling like I was going to totally "loose it" a few weeks ago?  Was I most likely still in benzo recovery last summer (and did not know it)?  Could trying to go off prozac then just have aggravated the benzo recovery?  I'm guessing "yes" to those questions? It is painful and sad to learn in retrospect -- and I thought I "knew" stuff.  Oh my!  As of 2 weeks ago, I have reinstated my prozac back to 10 mg, which has brought me back from the "brink", but not as far as I hoped.  (It can take up to 4 - 6 weeks to be fully "active".) 

 

And how many other folks here too found, knew, that once off of the meds, that the same "problems" that they started meds for were still there?  Of course they didn't "heal" anything.  I am back to "trauma" and anxiety (and OCD) from childhood that needs more "work" -- though feel like have spent much of my life doing that.  I seem to be primarily in the mental sypmtom camp, with occassional visits to the physical one -- extended periods of diarrhea.  (Which one is anxieity considered to be in?)  As my husband says, "everyone's hell is hell"....I still imagine the physical ride as more easier to address which is silly!  Any thoughts would be so greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance!