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Intrusive Thoughts


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Hello,

 

Has anyone here experienced intrusive thoughts going through withdrawal?

 

I had intrusive thoughts before I took any meds, but these are relentless.

 

Thanks,

Jett

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Yep. Very common and yes, they are relentless.  When I think back to the things that went through my head... It's just hard to imagine sometimes. I know this sounds weird, but this is a "normal" withdrawal symptom.

 

:thumbsup:

 

Tony

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Thanks Tony,

 

I thought I was really losing my mind.

 

Jett

 

Glad to be able to offer some comfort. I just find it so frustrating when psychs suggest that we bring it in ourselves. It is the benzos! :)

 

T

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I have the worst obsessive/ intrusive thoughts. I had to go on abilify and it does help somewhat with the thoughts. I have dark ones and they scare the crap out of me. But it's very common.

Amanda

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no my original was panic disorder and postpartum depression. I seen 2 doctors before being diagnosed with ocd. Only have the obsessive thoughts, not the obsessive behavior.

Amanda

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[16...]

I have the worst obsessive/ intrusive thoughts. I had to go on abilify and it does help somewhat with the thoughts. I have dark ones and they scare the crap out of me. But it's very common.

Amanda

 

See, that's the kind of intrusive thoughts I get - really dark, scary ones. It's funny, because it's the polar opposite of how I would normally think and it really scares the living daylights out of me. Honestly, I'm glad this is one symptom I've only seen manifest itself a handful of times.

 

- Pete

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I have them constantly pete. And the only thing that comforts me is that I AM scared of those thoughts. It's not something I would do, or would normally ever think of so I know it's not really me thinking that.

I say it comforts me because if I'm scared of it obviously it's not something I want/would do.

Amanda

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Mine are so strange sometimes I stop and ask myself "Where in the h___ did that come from?"  My only redeeming thought is that I don't answer myself!  Probably because I don't know the answer.
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Mine are so strange sometimes I stop and ask myself "Where in the h___ did that come from?"  My only redeeming thought is that I don't answer myself!  Probably because I don't know the answer.

 

:2funny:

 

I used to have some pretty wild thoughts.  It gets better...I'm back to my nice boring thought self again...LOL

 

Jen

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Mine are so strange sometimes I stop and ask myself "Where in the h___ did that come from?"  My only redeeming thought is that I don't answer myself!  Probably because I don't know the answer.

 

:2funny:

 

I used to have some pretty wild thoughts.  It gets better...I'm back to my nice boring thought self again...LOLJen

 

How is wish for boring again!!!  This is to much for me and too long!

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[16...]

I have them constantly pete. And the only thing that comforts me is that I AM scared of those thoughts. It's not something I would do, or would normally ever think of so I know it's not really me thinking that.

I say it comforts me because if I'm scared of it obviously it's not something I want/would do.

Amanda

 

I can totally sympathize with that. It's like things I'd NEVER in a million years do, random things that are simply off the wall. I just try and remind myself that I'm in control and usually that helps... :)

 

(Changed to fix missing end brace. Hope I did this right! :thumbsup:) - Tony

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I remember having this dratted tune loopping through my head -- on and on and on... and i didn't even know the tune!  Ended up it was the background to one of my daughter's Final Fantasy games, and my mind turned it into this full symphonic orchestration. To get it to stop I had to invent an ending since the tune didn't have one.  About a week after I did that, it went away-- and I made sure that I kept humming a song I knew all the time so if one got stuck in my head I could at least come to the end of it.

 

rufus

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I remember having this dratted tune loopping through my head -- on and on and on... and i didn't even know the tune!  Ended up it was the background to one of my daughter's Final Fantasy games, and my mind turned it into this full symphonic orchestration. To get it to stop I had to invent an ending since the tune didn't have one.   About a week after I did that, it went away-- and I made sure that I kept humming a song I knew all the time so if one got stuck in my head I could at least come to the end of it.

 

rufus

 

That is too funny! :2funny:  You must have talent ;)

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This is by far the worst sx I have ahd to deal with.

It's pretty much been with me constantly since about 2 months off the drugs. It did go away for a few months here and there but has been back with a vengance since September. I will be the happiest person in the world when these go away and I don't have to feel like a crazy person anymore.

I feel for everyone dealing with these, they are so brutal. :(

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  • 5 months later...
I have these dark intrusive thoughts as well and I know theyre not me, they make me want to vomit and curl up in a ball, I am now a very timid girl, as I am always afraid of them.  Do they stop?  This is month 2.  I am exuhusted.  These thoughts are really relentless.  I find doing positives helps, and talking to phsycs. I am afraid of my own mind, feel like im insane.  Its a day by day struggle, and I think they come from outrage at all the bad in the world, things you dont notice or feel as much when your on benzos.  Will I ever get over it?
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I have these dark intrusive thoughts as well and I know theyre not me, they make me want to vomit and curl up in a ball, I am now a very timid girl, as I am always afraid of them.  Do they stop?  This is month 2.  I am exuhusted.  These thoughts are really relentless.  I find doing positives helps, and talking to phsycs. I am afraid of my own mind, feel like im insane.  Its a day by day struggle, and I think they come from outrage at all the bad in the world, things you dont notice or feel as much when your on benzos.  Will I ever get over it?

Hi Munch, yes you will get over it.:) It was one of the toughest symptoms I dealt with. I too felt as if I was insane. I too became very timid. I think it is a very common symptom. It does get better.:)

 

Cheers, Wonderwoman

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[b1...]

Munch,

 

It gets better. I had the worst thoughts (thoughts about hurting myself, my family) and they went away. They are a form of OCD brought on by benzo use and it goes away. It's how the benzo's affect the mind and it will get better. Just remind yourself that they are JUSt thoughts and they suck, but can be avoided...

 

-Pete

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Hi Munch,

 

Would you like to start a thread and tell us a little about yourself?  You're in month 2, does that mean you've been off for 2 months or tapering off?

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i tapered unsuccesfully last year, but did it quickly this year from 30mg valium (at least) to 5mg, then half, completely off in august.  I'v found things settled down after reading all your posts and finding it is a pretty  common reaction. The problem being 6 years of using valium serapax mogadon temezepam (prescribed for Post Traumatic stress/shock, these drugs masked it, and as soon as I came off, I got all of the post trauma symptoms in one hit, and no one understood why it took so long to go through it.  I also found caffiene to make it worse, so cutting that out, I almost feel myself again today. Hugs for all!

Munch

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Hi Munch,

 

I have the intrusive and disturbing thoughts, also.  They usually start early in the morning and last through until early afternoon. From some of these intrusive thoughts, I developed some phobias early on in the withdrawal process, that are now kind of going away.  I also have some insomnia, in that I have not been sleeping more than 4 1/2 to 5 hours. 

 

I seem to be very open to suggestion also, something that I never was before all of the Xanax business.  I have alot of fear and just feel weird.  Also, my short term memory seems to be off sometimes.  Good for you for getting off of the caffeine.  I stopped the caffeine intake very early on and I guess it helped.  I do miss my espresso and coffee, though.  I'm on chamomile tea now, I usually drink it all day.

 

Anyway, I hope you feel better today.  Just keep reminding yourself that these are the drugs coming out of your system and not the real you.  I keep having to remind myself.

 

 

Take Care,

Tammy

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I was just about to make a post to see if others had felt this when I stumbled upon this post.

 

Obsessive, intrusive thoughts are probably one of my most severe symptoms because of the frequency. It's all the time, every day for me. I've developed anxiety about situations when I normally wouldn't. I have tons of self doubt and I'm constantly second guessing my decisions, judgments, behaviors, feeling like they're not right or good enough. This has caused me great anxiety when dealing with other people because I'm constantly wondering what they think of me and if my weird feelings show. I've become quite timid because all this. I've lost confidence in what I say and do around others.

 

One of the worst thoughts I have is that maybe this is just who I am underneath all the medication. I've been medicated for half my life, so I don't really know what normal is like for my brain. I hope it's detox. And I hope it disappears in time. I'm 3 days off of Klonopin, so I have a ways to go before I heal.

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Just wanted to make sure you all knew that Dr. Ashton mentions intrusive memories and obsessions as fairly common withdrawal symptoms.  Withdrawal symptoms fade with time, though once off the benzo, many people benefit from therapy to cope with them until they do disappear.

 

I know what you mean, AdieBlue, about wondering who I will be when I'm healed.  I've been numbed to some extent for nearly 20 years and do need to be careful not to fall into the old habits I developed during that time.  At least now, I have hope for a better future; when I was on the benzo, I felt no hope at all.  BTW, one of the first things I noticed getting better was my ability to think/reason and remember.  That alone was very comforting, but there were just tiny changes at first. I try to acknowledge and be grateful for every little improvement and I do believe that helps bring more of them into my life.

 

Hope you all are feeling better real soon.  :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
[b1...]

So last night, I had crazy thoughts... thinking about shapes that were distorted, images that didn't make sense... it lasted for hours and scared the living crap out of me. I hate it because it's like I've lost control of my mind and will I ever be able to get it back?!

 

The worst part was that I just had a two week window... and then this came back to hit me with a damn vengeance... and I mean ALL of my symptoms...

 

:(

 

-Pete

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