Hope. ❤️

[[Be...]]

 

 

As I said to Winniedog when she stated about being in the weeds and not seeing her way through, followed by the crying emoticon, I've been in the trench's, fighting. Too much chaos going on right now.  I posted about it elsewhere. Not sure of what to do, been strategizing. Glad sleep is improving. 😴💤

 

I’m sorry honey. I hope u find the right support team soon. I know with my hubby and son finding the right fit is very difficult. As soon as u find someone good they leave. And drs well don’t even get me started on them 🤦‍♀️

 

I updated that post. A new primary care PA-C transferred to my primary NP's location, and my NP reached out to her. She's a Physician Assistant with a subspecialty in addiction and dependency. She uses the Ashton Manual, and she offered to help me out. So I now got that taken care of. And she is reaching out to my social worker so I continue to have support services. I talked to the SW and she thinks the program will allow me to remain in it, even though the PA-C isn't directly doing psychiatric or psychological. Her subspecialty should make her a qualified provider for services. So it came sooner than I expected.

[[Sh...]]

 

    HEY THERE Aussie chickadee!!  Sorry I’m late in telling you YAY!!!  So happy for your news of

    Recovery ( getting there). Your words were so insightful.  Thanks, for supporting me off and on.

    I don’t post much, as I been hit with it being hard to know exactly how to explain this torture.

    Struggling with bouts of akathisia still.  Muscle twitching, cog fog. Dp/dr.  I’m 18 months out.  Sloooooowly getting there.  Hope your hubby will get a good day soon. Mine is so patient, but I understand their worrying.  Shayna. Once again Yay. 

 

            Hope you remembered me. Lolol.  Kudos 2. 😘

   

   

 

Of course I remember u kudos 😃 Thanku honey. I’m not there yet, in fact I had a very rough 3 days last week. So strange and of course I was trying to figure out what I did wrong. Then I reminded myself I did nothing wrong and it would pass, and sure enough it did. But for a few days I went back to 2-3 hrs sleep a night. Rough. But last night I slept thru until 4:30 which is my usual wake up time, so I’m greatful to be back again.

 

I just accept it as being where I am. I know I’m maybe 80 percent and it’s enough for me.

 

I know how rough it is and it’s just the worst. Be kind to urself on those hard days and just do what u can and know it’s enough. I wish it was the same amount of time for everyone it’s so unfair. But keep pushing forward honey and I promise one day u Will realise too that ur ok ❤️

[[Sh...]]

I have said it once, I have said it twice, and I will now say it thrice, you are without a doubt one of the nicest, most compassionate, smartest, funniest human beings I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my mind.  I looked back at some of your older posts when you were really deep in the trenches and asking for help and support.  And, now look at you……regaining your life back in big steps by doing what you figured out that you had to do for YOUR recovery!!!!

 

I have no idea what you look like in real life, Shayna, and I don’t need to, but I will always imagine you as a beautiful, deep soul wearing a superwoman cape on the beach reading to your heart’s content.

 

In a more perfect world, I wish we could have “met” on a sandy beach, under a clear blue sky, and instantly taken a liking to each other! Maybe in another life, maybe some day🙏🙏🙏😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

 

Big hugs and lots of love,

 

GG

 

Nawww wow GG u make me feel like a superhero with comments like that! You are such a sweetheart GG. You have always been so kind to me and it’s no secret when I talk about my besties here ur one of them. Actually most of my besties have joined me here and what a great group u all are x

 

Yeah geez there were some grim days for sure. I just celebrated my little boys 10th birthday and man I think back to even his last bday and I was in a bad way. I just threw a party and I was totally zen with a bunch of boys jumping around on trampolines and trashing my house. I could not have given too shits about anything. Big change from feeling completely overwhelmed last year 😎 that’s what we need, to know there’s change when we look back. It’s helps us realise how far we’ve come.

 

I hope one day we get to meet too honey. You would totally know it’s me, I’d be the one who looks like a saddlebag from too much beaching  but I know we recognize each other, without knowing what we really look like. ❤️

 

 

[[he...]]

 

    HEY THERE Aussie chickadee!!  Sorry I’m late in telling you YAY!!!  So happy for your news of

    Recovery ( getting there). Your words were so insightful.  Thanks, for supporting me off and on.

    I don’t post much, as I been hit with it being hard to know exactly how to explain this torture.

    Struggling with bouts of akathisia still.  Muscle twitching, cog fog. Dp/dr.  I’m 18 months out.  Sloooooowly getting there.  Hope your hubby will get a good day soon. Mine is so patient, but I understand their worrying.  Shayna. Once again Yay. 

 

            Hope you remembered me. Lolol.  Kudos 2. 😘

   

   

 

Of course I remember u kudos 😃 Thanku honey. I’m not there yet, in fact I had a very rough 3 days last week. So strange and of course I was trying to figure out what I did wrong. Then I reminded myself I did nothing wrong and it would pass, and sure enough it did. But for a few days I went back to 2-3 hrs sleep a night. Rough. But last night I slept thru until 4:30 which is my usual wake up time, so I’m greatful to be back again.

 

I just accept it as being where I am. I know I’m maybe 80 percent and it’s enough for me.

 

I know how rough it is and it’s just the worst. Be kind to urself on those hard days and just do what u can and know it’s enough. I wish it was the same amount of time for everyone it’s so unfair. But keep pushing forward honey and I promise one day u Will realise too that ur ok ❤️

 

I get this too, July had been much better for me, like half of the nights 6+, the rest still anything from 2 to 4 hrs. Either way always broken. Then the last 2 weeks i get anything from 4 good nights in a row to 3 bad ones in a row then rhe day on off thing again, i just never knkw but at least the good nights are really nice even made 7,5 broken hrs few times. Today was 3 broken hours... and right away i panick. 11 months out and i still cant remain calm in this process.

 

Is your sleep broken, like many wake ups or more solid?

 

Good to read about the bday party, thats great he got his mom back and kids are mindful so he doesnt think about last year just having a blast this year probably. My kids 7th was in april, i think i slept 2 hours it was the start of a setback i am still recovering from. I felt so bad and like crying but pushed through, i hope next year i will be all relaxed and happy too. The good days i get now i try to really be there and enjoy every minute.

 

Take care!!

[[Sh...]]

That’s so good honey. Ur getting there. Yeah same for me I haven’t had over 6.5 yet I don’t think, and some nights are very broken. But last night my Fitbit says I woke up twice but I don’t remember. It still isn’t “normal sleep” tho. I don’t drift In and out like I used to. It’s bam! Asleep, bam! Awake usually. Yesterday I swear I could have had a nap I am so tired, but I didn’t want to mess up my progress. Im starting to be more strict about sleep times, except my god I am starting to really struggle getting up. Im going to need an alarm this week for work, I can’t remember the last time I set an alarm.

 

My sons birthday last year was a total success, we had a huge party, but I was struggling very badly. I just faked my way thru it, it was at timezone so it’s hard to talk in there anyway. Plus my son has autism so I was just walking with him making sure he was ok so I had that excuse not to talk much to the other Mums!

 

We are super hero’s honey! We put on our big girl pants for our babies no matter how bad we feel. I just realize that even tho my symptoms didn’t spoil his bday either year it was so different from last year. I remember taking 2 unisom to knock myself out last year then only got a few hrs sleep and had to battle the next day horrendous fatigue and foginess.

 

I got a bit worried one of my bad days last week coz I was very blue. I almost cried a couple of times coz I was like “seriously… this shit again?” But then I just thought, nope, not going there again, and i just pushed those thoughts away and got on with it.

 

I know it’s hard but try not to give it fuel. Just go “oh well I can’t sit here crying about it I’ve got shit to do” and get up put ur big girl pants on and do what u gotta do. The more u fight it the more it stays the same. It’s kinda like quicksand

[[Sh...]]

Just a little bump to give some hope x

[[Ga...]]

Wow. I'm so glad you made it. I remember talking to you briefly a long time back. Congratulations.

I know there's no hope for me but I'm glad so so glad for you and your family

[[Sh...]]

Thanku honey x I remember u too. How u doing?

[[Sc...]]

Shayna u mentioned that ur husband not healed.. Was he on benzos? How long and did he taper? How long he's drug free?

[[La...]]

Thanku honey x I remember u too. How u doing?

I’m sooooooooo happy for you! Just sending you my love, Shay!

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Shayna u mentioned that ur husband not healed.. Was he on benzos? How long and did he taper? How long he's drug free?

 

No mate he had a stroke. He’s disabled now x he can walk and talk and feed himself. And wipe his own ass (thank god) 😏

 

He just can’t work or drive. He’s got his wobbly boots on all day but he’s still the funniest person I know xx

[[Sh...]]

Thanku honey x I remember u too. How u doing?

I’m sooooooooo happy for you! Just sending you my love, Shay!

 

 

 

Oh hey guuuuuurl!

 

I’ve been driving my family crazy singing let it snow. I don’t know any of the words except the chorus do I just make stuff up in the middle. Haha! All I need now is the bad xmas knitted jumper but it’s too hot here!

 

How’s ur xmas windup going x ❤️

[[Sc...]]

I'm 4 months out, I need some hope today badly. Can you please tell how were you during this period?

Waves r hitting me hard.

Please help me..

Can't sleep any night.

[[Sh...]]

I was much the same as u. In very bad shape. 14 hrs a week sleep if I was lucky. Multiple nights with no sleep. U must do whatever u can to keep calm tho. I know it’s easier said than done I know. It’s awful but be kind to urself.

I took unisom to help and it did not always but I couldn’t stand it some nights and took the help. Have u tried it?

 

Try to trust the process. Our bodies are capable of miraculous things. Our minds are what we need to control. Distract every second of the day of u need to. U will survive this.