INSOMNIA -- BENZO INDUCED! NOT ALONE -- THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SHARES!

[[br...]]

Hi, I am x number days off valium (yes, didn't even note the last day! 3 years 4 month to transition from Klonopin to valium and titrate off.

30 plus years on klonopin at 4 - 6 mg a day....another journey begins.  The insomnia actually began approximately 9 months ago, when I was down to

2? 3? mg of valium.  I would wake regularly at 3 am for exactly 3 hours.  That began to shift around -- wake at 1, 2 am, but always for 3 hours awake.

The sleep before and after light, broken, and seemingly no dreams.  Now that I'm completely off the valium, I seem to be heading into the no sleep zone most of the night and day.  I made the mistake of doing a "psychological" analysis -- "What in my past happened in the night at this time?"  (Not an impossibility, but not the core of what happening now.)  "Interesting".  Can be reading, and falling asleep, but as soon as I close my eyes to "sleep", my mind/brain is WIDE AWAKE AND ACTIVE!  It's like my whole nervous system feels on "alert".  Am very jumpy and startle easily.  But after reading the moderators many wise and helpful words, if one can "embrace" the experience, and trust the "process" of healing....any suggestions? thoughts? on what to do when wide awake that is not too "stimulating"?  Any other thoughts, experiences shared would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you!!

[[Th...]]

What you are experiencing about being wide awake (or even feeling wired) at 1:00, 2:00 or 3:00 am is a very common experience after coming off of Benzo and since you were on Benzos for a long time, I would expect that type of sleep or lack of sleep.

 

I'd stay in bed and rest your body.  Your body needs rest even if you can't sleep. Try meditating or listening to relaxing music or white noise, etc.  None of these will probably get you more sleep, but at least they will help pass the time and you might even nod off for 5, 10 or 15 minutes?

 

I'd read this:  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

 

Good luck.

[[tr...]]

Your body can rest in another room, I disagree that you should stay in bed awake for hours on end. According the the first line approach to insomnia, CBT-I (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia), if you aren't falling asleep in a reasonable amount of time, get out of the bed and go to a different room for a while. Then try again. The idea is that by laying in bed awake for hours you are associating your bed with wakefulness rather than sleep. This is really hard to do, I struggle with it, but get up for a short time, even laying on the couch for a while, have a snack, listen to something that is not triggering - relaxing music, podcast, etc. Sometimes I turn on the TV at super low volume, face away from it and just listen. Sometimes I just think about an interesting plot in a book or film - distract the mind. It is said that those on benzos, coming off benzos are candidates for CBT-I as much as anyone. You are learning what creates the proper environment for sleep anxiety: thoughts and behaviors that contribute to instead of diminish hyper arousal. I don't know that anything will combat "chemical wakefulness" completely, but it did help me at least to understand the role I was playing in perpetuating wakefulness and develop some tools for relaxing my mind. I wish my doctor had steered me in this direction 17 years ago instead of the benzo direction.

 

[[al...]]

Sorry, but I just have to add my 2 cents worth from my personal experience. I suggest trashing CBT-I while in the middle of a benzo or Ambien withdrawal because it is not effective for this problem. I tried it and diligently followed the prescribed sleep restrictions and was taken off of it by my therapist after about 3 weeks because I was turning into a zombie and still no sleep. I had since learned that the number one rule during withdrawal is sleep whenever you can, if you can.

 

I also suggest NOT getting out of bed when you can't sleep. When badly sleep deprived, you are going to need any rest that you can get and getting up and walking around is not rest. That is what you do with normal insomnia, but not withdrawal insomnia. If you stay in bed you are going to have lots of micro-sleeps that you probably will be unaware of. My wife would often tell me that I was snoring, and a sleep study confirmed that I had about 76 minutes of such broken sleep when I was insisting that the study was a failure and went home after what I was thought was over 4 hours of being totally wide awake. These microsleeps are what sustained me through my long bout of extreme insomnia.

[[br...]]

Hi!  somehow missed being notified that there were responses! 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES!

 

Can't thank you enough! Really.  This is a strange, at times seemingly lonely journey. 

Now almost 2 months off of all valium (transitioned from klonopin 3 years ago.)

 

1. Anyone experience a prolonged bout of diarreah -- almost like a systemic cleansing?  (Had over 2 weeks.  No virus/parasite/bacteria.  No flu)

 

2. Here's the most recent and strangest "sensation" that is actually "freaking me out", inspite of trying to remain calm.

Will try to describe. Goes beyone "dissociation", feeling "unreal". Not just the "observer"/"witness"  that is always with us, watching our own actions/behavior, and listening to our thoughts.  BUT QUESTIONING WHAT MAKES US ABLE TO THINK, ABLE TO TALK, TO RESPOND, TO

TRUST THAT IS REAL....that I am not on the verge of going "crazy", "loosing" it mentally (have some horrible brain disorder/cognitive dysfunction. )

(All labs show up ok....) 

 

Not doing this justice.  As if all "thinking" might just vanish.  Scary. Not self induced.  Just there as a new "experience".

As if the whole GABA team in my body went into alert, sending out stress signals, especially from the brain.  I don't know enough to even

begin to sort this out.

 

Any sharings would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks so much in advance!!

[[al...]]

Fortunately, I did not experience the G.I. stuff during my withdrawal, but a lack of sleep will cause all sorts of odd expressions of depression, anxiety and disassociation. These feelings often temporarily go away after a good recovery sleep.