The Long Hold Support Group

[[jr...]]

The first three times I took klonopin for sleep for a few months 2002-2009, I tapered off myself in a couple months. Because this isn't my first rodeo and I've been through a horrid taper before this and never took klonopin more than at night before--I think that's what's causing some problems and why I'm considering going to three doses. I feel like I got horrible advice last year in the FB group I was in and I've spent s year trying to fix it.

Thanks for the info JR

 

I do not think going to 3 doses will cause you any harm. Stay positive and tell yourself that it is going to get better very soon!

[[jr...]]

OH MY! Please reduce my anxiety,

 

I just read on the

 

Withdrawal support during recovery forum, a posting called

 

The  Four phases of withdrawal, where are you?

 

It Scared the you know what out of me!

 

I know every one has different experiences,and I know everything I read is not necessarily going to happen to me, but it scared me silly!

I try not to read the scary stuff, but I just happened to come across it, so I took a look. Oh my I wish I never read it!

 

I really like this long hold support group because you are so kind and positive in your posts. I feel safe here. You are honest, yet kind, and I know this whole process is worse than no fun.  But that post really got the worst of me.

 

And I am not negating anything I read on the posting I referred to here, above. And everyone has the right to put what they want. And maybe that happens to some people.

 

But will someone please just take a look at what it says, and tell me that it is not written in stone and that it is not like that for everyone?

Thanks so very much,

Heathcliff

 

Many people on here and I can name them if you want, have got off these pills with minimal side effects and little to no withdrawal. I think it is important to train your brain that you are gonna get off in your own time and at your own pace and when the day comes that you are at zero, you will just walk away.

[[an...]]

Got my period today and I've been in a horrible wave the last 2 weeks. This is just making it so much worse.

 

Ugh I'm miserable.

 

I knew you ladies would understand.

[[an...]]

OH MY! Please reduce my anxiety,

 

I just read on the

 

Withdrawal support during recovery forum, a posting called

 

The  Four phases of withdrawal, where are you?

 

It Scared the you know what out of me!

 

I know every one has different experiences,and I know everything I read is not necessarily going to happen to me, but it scared me silly!

I try not to read the scary stuff, but I just happened to come across it, so I took a look. Oh my I wish I never read it!

 

I really like this long hold support group because you are so kind and positive in your posts. I feel safe here. You are honest, yet kind, and I know this whole process is worse than no fun.  But that post really got the worst of me.

 

And I am not negating anything I read on the posting I referred to here, above. And everyone has the right to put what they want. And maybe that happens to some people.

 

But will someone please just take a look at what it says, and tell me that it is not written in stone and that it is not like that for everyone?

Thanks so very much,

Heathcliff

 

Heath,

 

As you say, we are all different.  I just read the post, and I can tell you that many do not go through these phases.  I tapered off of Ativan back in 2007.  I tapered slow, and I had minimal symptoms during the taper and absolutely no symptoms by the time I finished. I did not go through the acute stage, and I was completely healed by the time I jumped.

 

This taper has been rough compared to the first one, but I have no doubt that I will be 100% when I finish my taper.  Listen to your body, and take it slow especially at the lower doses.

 

I hope you are having a good weekend!! 

 

((HUGS))

Anne

[[...]]

I held on 3.5 mg of Valium for almost a year. I started reducing in June after going back up to 3.75 due to health issues. I'm now just a sliver of a pill away from 3 mg and was slammed with moderate physical and mental symptoms over the last week. Gout like pain in some of my joints. Muscle tingling and numbness, stomach and bowel issues, feeling like I'm going to jump out of my skin, and lots of crying for no apparent reason. Anyone else get these symptoms all of a sudden?

[[ly...]]

 

Not the same symptoms, but when tapering pretty fast earlier this year, I was fine as I went along for 6 wks and then got slammed all of the sudden.  It was very debilitating.  I think it was just the cumulative drop over that time period and it all caught up with me.  Maybe hold for a little while and see if things calm down(?).

[[Va...]]

I held on 3.5 mg of Valium for almost a year. I started reducing in June after going back up to 3.75 due to health issues. I'm now just a sliver of a pill away from 3 mg and was slammed with moderate physical and mental symptoms over the last week. Gout like pain in some of my joints. Muscle tingling and numbness, stomach and bowel issues, feeling like I'm going to jump out of my skin, and lots of crying for no apparent reason. Anyone else get these symptoms all of a sudden?

Hi sjs! Welcome to the group of you haven't posted before. What you're experiencing is exactly what hit me when I tapered too fast. Holding is always a good option to allow your body to return to homeostasis and catch up to the cuts you've made. It hits really fast and really hard so it's shocking when sxs don't go away very quickly. If you don't experience any windows after holding for a few weeks, you may consider updosing and holding again to let your body adjust and be in good shape for the next drop. Don't be afraid of holding until you actually feel good. It's the best thing I ever did. Sorry for the problems you're having. This process can be nasty at times.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Well im at 7 weeks since jumping. So this is my longest ever 'hold'. I am really getting exhausted and fed up with the mental symptom that is my only symptom and has been the most prevalent during my 9 month taper and still remains. My brain just replays a trauma over and over 24/7. I am working now as a teacher and even while busy it still plagues me. Its all I can think about. I know its the benzo withdrawal, but dealing with these thoughts for almost a year now is maddening. This trauma happened 3 years ago but benzo withdrawal has made it my main focus.

 

Im seriously starting to wonder if this is worth hanging on for. Part of me just thinks I could go back on valium and deal with another taper in 10 years time rather than continue to wait for this to clear. I just dont get why its so stubborn.

[[li...]]

Shamo--I can't understand the dates in your signature once you got to January 2016. Can you clarify when you were at 3 mg, 2 mg, when your hold was, how you tapered from there?  I went through horrid acute withdrawal five years ago--the worst of which with a complete loss of touch with reality and hallucinations lasted 3 months. Then things slowly started getting better and I realized at six months that one day I would heal. It wasn't easy from there but brain/mind/psychological stuff has been 90% of my tapers and healing and I can tell you that your brain will let go of the constant intrusive memory.  IMHO calling it a trauma which undoubtedly it was doesn't serve you. Maybe just keep telling yourself that this is an intrusive memory caused by an imbalance of glutamate vs GABA in your brain. Glutamate is the gas pedal for thoughts, memories and GABA is the brake. Your brakes just aren't working great right now. If you can get up and go to work everyday, that is absolutely amazing. It doesn't have to feel amazing right now but maybe the exercise of that part of your brain helps to engage you away from the crap. I think you are doing well even if it doesn't feel like it.

[[Sh...]]

Thanks liza.

 

I got down to 2mg fairly easily by jan. Then i tried a liquid daily taper and didnt like it, wasted some time etc. Then went back to cut and hold. It became difficult in these lower bits with no windows for this mental symptom.

 

I do calm myself down all the time and push the thoughts away constantly but they always come roaring straight back. Definitely need my gaba to switch on.

[[Va...]]

Well im at 7 weeks since jumping. So this is my longest ever 'hold'. I am really getting exhausted and fed up with the mental symptom that is my only symptom and has been the most prevalent during my 9 month taper and still remains. My brain just replays a trauma over and over 24/7. I am working now as a teacher and even while busy it still plagues me. Its all I can think about. I know its the benzo withdrawal, but dealing with these thoughts for almost a year now is maddening. This trauma happened 3 years ago but benzo withdrawal has made it my main focus.

 

Im seriously starting to wonder if this is worth hanging on for. Part of me just thinks I could go back on valium and deal with another taper in 10 years time rather than continue to wait for this to clear. I just dont get why its so stubborn.

Hi shamo, I would guess you'll feel much better at 6 months. You should start feeling better before then as sxs drop off but at 6 months it should be consistent good days. I wouldn't give up just yet. The distraction of the job should help. Hang tough.  You don't want to do this again!  --V

[[an...]]

Shamo,

 

I agree with V.  In fact, you might start to feel better over the next couple of months. I think it is worth hanging in there for at least 6 months--you are already about 2 months in. As V said, if you were to reinstate now, you will have to go through this again.  The second time around might even bring on new symptoms which could mean a very long drawn out taper.

 

Take care,

Anne

[[Sh...]]

Geeze another 4 months seems like an eternity. At times I feel like I can barely go another day. Yeah if I could just have a window where this mental SFX goes away for a bit and clears up then atleast Id have some separation and hope. It feels never ending this whole 10months.

[[He...]]

Hi Shamo,

From your signature it looks like you went from 7.5 to 2.5 in only about five  weeks. That's a cut of 5 mgs. That's a lot to do in five weeks.  I went from 7.5 to 2.5 in about 4-5 months and that was too fast for me. I didn't have a rough time until I went down to 2.25. Then it all caught up to me. I got slammed hard with crazy side effects. That's when I landed up at this support group. I wound up holding for  two months. And that really wasn't even that long.

It helped a lot bec it gave my brain time to heal and catch up with my cuts from the beginning of my taper. My cuts wereobviously too drastic. To big and too fast.

My cuts are now .05 or less. I know my body can not handle going any faster. I still get some side effects and have to wait at least four weeks to feel okay, not great, but pretty much ok. I still feel like crap much of the time, Windows, but mostly waves.

 

It's not easy at all and I really feel for you. But don't give up!it will get better and you will be much happier that you stuck it out in the long run.

 

Do you think the big cuts you made and the fast taper are just catching up with you? Perhaps a long hold will help you out . It helped me a lot!

 

I hope you will not give up and not go back on Valim. You have come so far!. Please try to wait it out. Holding usually does help to let your brain heal and your wfx begin to fade. You can bdo this! Look how much you have done already!

Good luck. Peace and healing  to you!

 

Heathcliff

[[ly...]]

 

 

I agree that you should hang in there Shamo.  You've been through 10 months of this and I believe you will turn the corner soon and start feeling better.  It may not take 6 months.  Just take it one day at a time and stay as busy as you can! 

[[ly...]]

 

Heathcliff - How are you doing?  Seeing any improvement?  I've got another 10 days until one month hold is up and I'm only dealing with intermittent neck and T issues.  I am in a wait and see mode.  No trains leaving town here!  Hope you are doing better! 

[[He...]]

Quote from Anne:

 

Heath,

 

As you say, we are all different.  I just read the post, and I can tell you that many do not go through these phases.  I tapered off of Ativan back in 2007.  I tapered slow, and I had minimal symptoms during the taper and absolutely no symptoms by the time I finished. I did not go through the acute stage, and I was completely healed by the time I jumped.

 

This taper has been rough compared to the first one, but I have no doubt that I will be 100% when I finish my taper.  Listen to your body, and take it slow especially at the lower doses.

 

 

 

I hope you are having a good weekend!! 

 

((HUGS))

Anne

 

 

Anne, thanks ! I've gotten other replies that agree with what you said.  I must say, it sure reinforces the argument for long holds alright!

I'm making my cuts smaller and waiting longer between them, holding when I have too. I hate being a turtle, but I will hate it more  if I wind up in acute withdrawal at the nd of my taper.

 

My weekend was much like every other day. I'm too much in the middle of feeling badly to do much of anything. But I did somehow manage to wash my iPhone in the washing machine! That's a long story! Pretty dumb huh? I forgot it was in the pocket if my pants. Got a new phone yesterday which was nice, but I sure could have used that money for other things!

Oh well.

I hope you and all the other buddies had a good weekend and continue with easy tapers. And for those of you who are still struggling,like who really isn't?, I hope things get better fast!

 

Heathcliff.  :smitten:

[[He...]]

Hi Lynn!

I am getting less and less shakes and trembles. And having some Windows, but the neck and low back pain are awful. I found an old neck collar and a back support that I had and I am wearing both of them, amazing how much it helps! But as soon as I tAke them off, the pain is still there. Especially the neck. I'm just going to have to hang in here, and keep holding. And grit my teeth til it goes away. What other choice do I have?

Hope you are doing ok! Hoe your neck is ok.

 

Peace and healing to us all! And lots and lots of patience!

[[ly...]]

 

 

My neck is the most bothersome thing I have - and I've had it since day one!!!

[[He...]]

Oh Lynne, I am so sorry that you have had neck pain for so long. In my opinion, it's the worst.

I have some neck issues with a few collapsed discs and spinal stenosis.  But never really had pain in my neck. I'm not sure if I am getting symptoms from the issues in my neck or whether this is a withdrawal side effect. I'm not running to the neurosurgeon. I already had lower back surgery. Don't want anymore surgery. Besides, I really think it's wfx. I'm going to wait and see if it goes away before going to the doc.

 

I wish I had a magic bullet to get rid of neck pain for both of us. 

Hope you feel better soon! Or SOONER!

 

Heath 

[[Be...]]

Does your neck pain cause chronic tension headaches that make it hard to think?

[[Va...]]

Does your neck pain cause chronic tension headaches that make it hard to think?

I've found necke pain to be a real issue during this taper and even had an MRI that showed nothing so I know it's withdrawal. The headaches are also terrible but I never had headaches until I started to taper so I imagine it's also withdrawal. Sorry for the pain. It really makes for an unpleasant experience.  ---V

[[Be...]]

Thank you. 

[[He...]]

So far the headaches are not a problem, but I have to wear a neck collar support to keep the neck pain away. It seems to have localized on the left side. Left  lower back is a problem too.

Thanks to all of you for thinking about me.

I've been very sleepy lately too. But not able to sleep during the day. Wish I could take a nap but my body just won't do it.

Sleep at night is sporadic, sometimes 5 hours some times 7or 8. I have remeron if I don't get good sleep too many nights in a row. I only need it about every 6 or 7 days. 3.75 mgs puts me out.

 

Hope you are all doing better .

 

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Oh boy did I have and still am having a horrible day and night ! Neck and back ache, neck most of all. Shakes and trembles, no windows.

I just don't understand. I am still holding, but the past few days have been worse than any other day in my entire taper.things are getting worse, not better. One day I am better and the next three are awful. Seriously think there is something seriously wrong. Feel like I am dying.

 

Feel like I am not going to win this battle. Never felt discouraged like I do now! Sooooo miserable.

 

Heath :-[  :-[ :-\