How I deal with feeling rejected

[[pr...]]

PG, I think on this forum people don't always get around to reading what you posted, which might be why you don't get a reply to your questions.  I don't feel ignored if people don't reply to my questions on this forum.  It happens to me all the time.  What would make me feel bad is being ignored if I'm talking to someone on the street or whatever and they ignore me.  It's possible that I've offended someone or said the wrong thing if they ignore me in person.  There's a big difference.

 

I agree. Benzo withdrawal tricks our brain into imagining some crazy stuff sometimes.

 

PG

[[Gl...]]

PG, I think on this forum people don't always get around to reading what you posted, which might be why you don't get a reply to your questions.  I don't feel ignored if people don't reply to my questions on this forum.  It happens to me all the time.  What would make me feel bad is being ignored if I'm talking to someone on the street or whatever and they ignore me.  It's possible that I've offended someone or said the wrong thing if they ignore me in person.  There's a big difference.

 

I agree. Benzo withdrawal tricks our brain into imagining some crazy stuff sometimes.

 

PG

 

Yes it does, PG and Becks.

 

 

Actually, if the homeless man wouldn't take my $100, I'd feel rejected. Benzo brain to blame. 🙃🙂

 

[[or...]]

Hugs, PG.

 

:smitten:

 

Katz

[[Jo...]]

PG

 

 

After reading your initial posting of this thread… I’ve been meditating on it off n on ever since.  It’s easy to realize that giving makes us feel better… but I was trying to dig deeper n ask myself exactly why that is.

 

The conclusion I came to is that I believe God is love… so when you were giving with a good motive… you were loving others.  I believe that was God loving others through you on your birthday.  Let’s suppose what I am saying is actually true.  If that is the case… then whenever we love like that (with God’s love) then God is actually living inside us while this is happening.  So if God is actually living inside of us when we are loving others… then we (if we are healthy enough) can feel God while we are loving others.  If, when we feel love, we are actually feeling God… no wonder giving makes us feel better !!

 

That would logically cause me to truly understand n believe that it truly is better to give (support, gifts, etc) than to receive it.  Giving is where life is.

 

 

Kindly and with love,

j

[[Jo...]]

Hi, PG

 

 

 

I decided to post these thoughts on your thread here… because these thoughts are what have helped me the very most while suffering for the past 13 years in benzo withdrawals.  Your post here about feeling or being rejected hits the very core of the issue of suffering while in benzowithdrawals, and while being sick or afflicted in any way for that matter… while being alone and suffering… or while being alone and suffering rejection.  There are some sacred texts within my writing here… but it is within the guidelines… because they are all encouraging… and within the context of this dialogue about how to cope with rejection n find comfort while in benzowithdrawals.

 

 

To Know Me is to Love Me (by j)

 

Jesus didn’t say… “When I was sick… ye healed me…”  He said, “When I was sick… ye visited me.”

 

It is as though Jesus was implying that not everyone gets healed in this life… but at the resurrection if granted one.  He always considered love and compassion and pity… to be much more important than miraculous gifts, giving, faith, prophesying, knowledge, and miraculous powers or speaking in tongues.  It’s as though he considers love itself to be the most powerful force on earth and the most valued above all else.  The thing that gives worth to all other things.  First and foremost above all else.

 

He even said… “He who endures to the end… the same shall be saved.”  [He who loves to the end and doesn’t allow their love to grow cold to the end… the same shall be saved.”]

 

Matthew 24:10-13. And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.  And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.  And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.  But he that shall endure (loving) unto the end, the same shall be saved.  (loving added by me because it’s true)

 

1  Corinthians 13:3  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. (towards my salvation)

 

Charity = love with work clothes on… love in action.

 

Saved for what ?  Saved for the resurrection.  Jesus “poured out his soul unto death” for me.  That means he loved mankind all the way until he died on the cross.

 

Isaiah 53:12  Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

 

When Jesus died… his soul died, too.

 

How do I know Jesus still loved others… all the way up until he died ?  While he was being killed, he said….  “Forgive them, Father… for they know not what they do.”  That was love…even for his enemies… all the way to the end.  God himself… who is love itself… makes it possible for us to carry the burdens of others even while carrying our own burdens.  Without love (God) I am nothing… but if I carry the burdens of others… on top of the burdens that are my own… then I am “something.”

 

Galatians 6:2-5  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.  For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.  But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.  For every man shall bear his own burden.

 

God never measures love by one’s ability to recognize or cast out devils…or prophesy… or to do “wonderful works.”  He measures love by how much one gives of themself to know another.

 

Matthew 7:22-23  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

 

How do we get to know someone ?  We get to know someone by feeding them when they are hungry…by giving them drink when they are thirsty… by taking them in when they are strangers… by clothing them when they are naked… by visiting them while they are sick… and coming to them while they are in prison.

 

Matthew 25:34-40  Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:  For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.  Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?  When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee. Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?  And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

 

Jesus didn’t say… “When I was dying… ye visited me.”(although I’m sure it’s a good thing to do so)  After all… if one waits until another is dead… before visiting them… it would be impossible to “know” them.

 

Psalm 91:14  Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

 

Jesus waited days before… and days after Lazarus died before he showed up to perform the miracle of raising him from the dead… but that was ok… because Jesus already knew Lazarus and loved him… before he died…. and also… Lazarus already knew Jesus… and loved him before he died.

 

Job 6:14  To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty.

 

by j

 

Kindly and with love,

j

[[Ta...]]

From Glitter: “I have a new way of dealing with rejection.  I've been asking God to teach me humility.  I made a list of ways to humble myself or to accept being humbled.  On the list is, "Be okay with being ignored, going unnoticed, or feeling unimportant in general or to anyone."  So when I feel ignored, etc., I do a happy dance in my head, realizing it's an answer to my prayer to be humbled.”

 

This concept is really intriguing to me, Glitter, and I am deeply appreciative that you thought of it and shared it with us. I think this is a great antidote to ego, and the hurt we compound upon ourselves for feeling unseen or unappreciated for whatever reason. Benzo withdrawal and the myriad of complications it rains on us is quite a humbling experience, but something about flipping the script, and saying I will learn to appreciate being humbled, even revel in it, and learn what it needs to teach me... is revelatory. Seems almost Buddhist to me. Learn to let go of our attachments to ego and outcome. Just be.

 

Thanks, TaterTot, I'm glad you could appreciate it.  It's okay to be humble and such a relief.  It seems like society teaches us the opposite that it's not okay to be humble but to be loud and proud, lol. 

 

So true. Its wonderful to be humble because it doesn't matter, we are seen by God. He knows us by every hair on our head. He knows what's in our hearts. How nice to not waste energy on having to be "seen" and stuck in an endless people-pleasing loop.