How I deal with feeling rejected

[[pr...]]

Benzo withdrawal has taken a toll on my CNS. My benzo brain sometimes tells me that I am all alone in this fight. When this happens I rely on my faith to get me through. I am inspired and in awe of the love that is shown on this board between complete strangers. I often feel bad when I ask a question and fail to get a response. That is why I very seldom asks questions. But, I know that it is not because people do not care, but just like in life people respond to those they feel comfortable with.

 

Today is my birthday and I was feeling a little sad to begin with. Then my niece and nephew from Jersey called to with me a happy birthday. One of my friends is driving me to the poor neighborhoods and I will pass out gifts to them to celebrate my birthday. I thought about what would make me happy and to celebrate by giving to the poor will indeed make me happy.

 

If anyone would find the time please take a second and respond to my post in General Health and Well Being. It would do a lot for my fragile CNS at the moment.

 

Benzo brain aside I will do something nice for someone today. I am determined to stand in the midst of benzo lies. I tell myself "Greater is He in me, than he that is in the world".

 

I love you all and continue to pray for your healing in all areas. :smitten:

 

 

PG

[[Ca...]]

Benzo withdrawal has taken a toll on my CNS. My benzo brain sometimes tells me that I am all alone in this fight. When this happens I rely on my faith to get me through. I am inspired and in awe of the love that is shown on this board between complete strangers. I often feel bad when I ask a question and fail to get a response. That is why I very seldom asks questions. But, I know that it is not because people do not care, but just like in life people respond to those they feel comfortable with.

 

Today is my birthday and I was feeling a little sad to begin with. Then my niece and nephew from Jersey called to with me a happy birthday. One of my friends is driving me to the poor neighborhoods and I will pass out gifts to them to celebrate my birthday. I thought about what would make me happy and to celebrate by giving to the poor will indeed make me happy.

 

If anyone would find the time please take a second and respond to my post in General Health and Well Being. It would do a lot for my fragile CNS at the moment.

 

Benzo brain aside I will do something nice for someone today. I am determined to stand in the midst of benzo lies. I tell myself "Greater is He in me, than he that is in the world".

 

I love you all and continue to pray for your healing in all areas. :smitten:

 

 

PG

All I got is a hug for you atm.. -But you deserve a hundreds.. 

 

Just had my bday too.. asides my Cantletts, -oops I mean buddies, It was a pretty bland affair so typical for many of us going through this, but im sure there will be better ones ahead for all of us..

 

Hope you get more replies from those a bit more capable of posting atm.. -Its NOT a reflection on you..!!

 

Happy Birthday..

 

[[pr...]]

Benzo withdrawal has taken a toll on my CNS. My benzo brain sometimes tells me that I am all alone in this fight. When this happens I rely on my faith to get me through. I am inspired and in awe of the love that is shown on this board between complete strangers. I often feel bad when I ask a question and fail to get a response. That is why I very seldom asks questions. But, I know that it is not because people do not care, but just like in life people respond to those they feel comfortable with.

 

Today is my birthday and I was feeling a little sad to begin with. Then my niece and nephew from Jersey called to with me a happy birthday. One of my friends is driving me to the poor neighborhoods and I will pass out gifts to them to celebrate my birthday. I thought about what would make me happy and to celebrate by giving to the poor will indeed make me happy.

 

If anyone would find the time please take a second and respond to my post in General Health and Well Being. It would do a lot for my fragile CNS at the moment.

 

Benzo brain aside I will do something nice for someone today. I am determined to stand in the midst of benzo lies. I tell myself "Greater is He in me, than he that is in the world".

 

I love you all and continue to pray for your healing in all areas. :smitten:

 

 

PG

All I got is a hug for you atm.. -But you deserve a hundreds.. 

 

Just had my bday too.. asides my Cantletts, -oops I mean buddies, It was a pretty bland affair so typical for many of us going through this, but im sure there will be better ones ahead for all of us..

 

Hope you get more replies from those a bit more capable of posting atm.. -Its NOT a reflection on you..!!

 

Happy Birthday..

 

Thanks Cantly! I truly enjoy reading your blog every day. I know people mean no harm, but we know how the benzo brain tell lies. Lol

[[je...]]

Happy birthday to you!!

 

Hope your day is as wonderful as you are. So kind of you to be thinking of others on your special day and in the midst of wd.

 

I did go to your other post but I guess I was too late. I'm sorry.

 

I really hope you found the answer to what you were looking for.

[[Pa...]]

Happy Birthday preachergirl, it's so typical of you to think of others on your day, good for you for.

 

I totally understand not getting answers to posts, I used to get my feelings hurt so I rarely posted on the forum when I was feeling as bad as you are.  We're all so vulnerable while going through this but look at you, you pick yourself up and keep reaching out not losing faith in others, I'm glad.

 

I saw your post last night and so wished I had something useful to offer you but I don't have experience.

 

Keep reaching out to other humans here and in person, don't lose faith in us. 

[[je...]]

I also just wanted to add when it comes to responding to posts- for me personally a lot of the time it depends on what the person is asking.

 

I won't respond if I don't know the answer to the question. I don't want to speculate, don't want to give people false hope and certainly don't want to give them wrong advice.

 

To me it feels as if others might find it patronizing if I always respond to a post I can't help with, with a "I can't help you but just wanted to say good luck/thinking of you etc".

 

Maybe you can give me some perspective please? Would it be better to have a sincere reply of I can't help you or no reply at all?

 

It will really help me if you can share what type of response would help you if I don't have an answer for what you're looking for. 

 

[[pr...]]

Happy birthday to you!!

 

Hope your day is as wonderful as you are. So kind of you to be thinking of others on your special day and in the midst of wd.

 

I did go to your other post but I guess I was too late. I'm sorry.

 

I really hope you found the answer to what you were looking for.

 

Thanks Jelly Belly! (love that name)

I got back from my gift giving and was so tired I could hardly out of the blue. My friend that drove me bought me an apple pecan salad to try and I finally got the energy to eat it. It was delicious!!!! The people that I did give gifts to were so surprised but it made me so happy. Nothing like going up to 18 random strangers and giving them gifts on my birthday. :smitten:

[[Pa...]]

I also just wanted to add when it comes to responding to posts- for me personally a lot of the time it depends on what the person is asking.

 

I won't respond if I don't know the answer to the question. I don't want to specalute, don't want to give people false hope and certainly don't want to give them wrong advice.

 

To me it feels as if others might find it patronizing if I always respond to a post I can't help with, with a "I can't help you but just wanted to say good luck/thinking of you etc".

 

Maybe you can give me some perspective please? Would it be better to have a sincere reply of I can't help you or no reply at all?

 

It will really help me if you can share what type of response would help you if I don't have an answer for what you're looking for. 

 

I'd like to give you my perspective if I may?

 

I've found that a simple acknowledgement is welcome, a validation of their concerns even if you've never shared the same thing.  Or asking a question helps a member feel heard, because that means you took the time to read what they wrote and wish to know a bit more about them or their situation.

 

Sometimes when all I have are platitudes I'll let them know that's all I can offer but even that response is welcome because at least someone took the time to read and respond.

 

Of course, other times I move on because I'm totally out of my comfort zone.  The written word is tough, we miss so many nuances which take place when people talk face to face so we all need to take extra care to tread softly and treat others the way we wish to be treated.

 

Thank you for asking preachergirl for this feedback, it shows a sincere desire to help. 

[[pr...]]

I also just wanted to add when it comes to responding to posts- for me personally a lot of the time it depends on what the person is asking.

 

I won't respond if I don't know the answer to the question. I don't want to specalute, don't want to give people false hope and certainly don't want to give them wrong advice.

 

To me it feels as if others might find it patronizing if I always respond to a post I can't help with, with a "I can't help you but just wanted to say good luck/thinking of you etc".

 

Maybe you can give me some perspective please? Would it be better to have a sincere reply of I can't help you or no reply at all?

 

It will really help me if you can share what type of response would help you if I don't have an answer for what you're looking for. 

 

Sure. For me you can just say "PG I see and hear you but I do not have an answer" I hope someone comes along that can help you soon. I am perfectly fine with an answer like that. That is what I am doing when I go out and do random acts of kindness about once a week. I do not know these people or what they may be in need of, but if I can make one feel like they matter, then I have done all I can. I ask God often to teach me how to love like Jesus (I am not trying to get religious here).

 

Thank you for asking the question because it allows me to get a glimpse of your heart.

 

PG

[[pr...]]

Happy Birthday preachergirl, it's so typical of you to think of others on your day, good for you for.

 

I totally understand not getting answers to posts, I used to get my feelings hurt so I rarely posted on the forum when I was feeling as bad as you are.  We're all so vulnerable while going through this but look at you, you pick yourself up and keep reaching out not losing faith in others, I'm glad.

 

I saw your post last night and so wished I had something useful to offer you but I don't have experience.

 

Keep reaching out to other humans here and in person, don't lose faith in us. 

 

Pamster!! I cannot give up on BB because it has been a lifeline for me. I love seeing all the love displayed on here. I love you all and there is nothing you all can do about it. :laugh:

 

PG

[[je...]]

Thanks Pamster and PG for your feedback. It is really helpful going forward.

 

I know for me I'm always extremely conscious of doing more harm than good especially because people on here are very fragile.

 

I cannot tell you how many times I've written a response only to discard it because I question myself.

 

This was a very valuable discussion.  I appreciate your help.

[[Jo...]]

I want to say to all who have posted on this thread… thank you… for being humble n honest n communicating clearly some needs n concerns.

 

My benzo brain constantly twists things and causes me to perceive things falsely much of the time.  Maybe that’s just one reason I appreciate good honest and clear communication so much.  I know I am hyper sensitive most of the time… but some are not aware because I have learned how to hide my true feelings so much not only to guard myself… but to keep myself from possibly hurting or offending others.  Especially benzo buddies. 

 

I’m an extreme benzo case… but I’ve noticed the damage I have from them over the years often steals my courage to show love to others (and sometimes even my willingness) It’s so hard to have relationships with a mind (of my own) that I don’t or can’t trust regardless of how intellectual I can be.  Perhaps I’m not the only one who experiences these kinds of things from the benzo use. 

 

In some ways… I am glad I have these weaknesses or infirmities or whatever u want to call it because it strengthens my faith and trust in God so I trust him sometimes during these struggles rather than trusting in myself.  My faith operates only by love… so the more I “take chances” n have the courage to reach out to another… the more I see God step in and move or work in relationships n in the lives of others… and in my own life.

 

I gotta be strong !!  I gotta be strong n NEVER stop TRYING to reach out to others n try to encourage others… like PG did on her birthday today.  What an awesome example she is of someone who is strong n courageous (because of love).  I believe it truly is better to give than to receive.  It puts life into my benzo brain.

 

So thank y’all again for being open here n communicating openly and trying to help each other by doing so.  I believe this is what brings life to us all.  There will be many mistakes n even offenses along the path of faith, hope, love, and courage for those of us who have been deeply affected by benzos in a lasting way…. but I’ve found it’s all worth the pain n we all suffer anyway… might as well be for the good.

 

 

Kindly,

j

[[Be...]]

PG, what gifts did you give out?  Ask Jesus to draw closer to you and He will. 

[[Ta...]]

Just wanted to pop in with a Happy Birthday to PG! How lovely is was for you to give out gifts to others! I love the idea and think I’ll do the same. It’s really helps get us out of our heads/problems by doing good things for others!

[[pr...]]

Just wanted to pop in with a Happy Birthday to PG! How lovely is was for you to give out gifts to others! I love the idea and think I’ll do the same. It’s really helps get us out of our heads/problems by doing good things for others!

 

[[Ga...]]

Preacher girl, Happy Birthday!

 

I think it's so awesome of you to give gifts on your birthday  :'(

[[pr...]]

Preacher girl, Happy Birthday!

 

I think it's so awesome of you to give gifts on your birthday  :'(

 

Thanks Gardie!! It truly made me feel wonderful and the best birthday ever!!!

 

PG

[[Gl...]]

Benzo withdrawal has taken a toll on my CNS. My benzo brain sometimes tells me that I am all alone in this fight. When this happens I rely on my faith to get me through. I am inspired and in awe of the love that is shown on this board between complete strangers. I often feel bad when I ask a question and fail to get a response. That is why I very seldom asks questions. But, I know that it is not because people do not care, but just like in life people respond to those they feel comfortable with.

 

Today is my birthday and I was feeling a little sad to begin with. Then my niece and nephew from Jersey called to with me a happy birthday. One of my friends is driving me to the poor neighborhoods and I will pass out gifts to them to celebrate my birthday. I thought about what would make me happy and to celebrate by giving to the poor will indeed make me happy.

 

If anyone would find the time please take a second and respond to my post in General Health and Well Being. It would do a lot for my fragile CNS at the moment.

 

Benzo brain aside I will do something nice for someone today. I am determined to stand in the midst of benzo lies. I tell myself "Greater is He in me, than he that is in the world".

 

I love you all and continue to pray for your healing in all areas. :smitten:

 

 

PG

 

Hi, preachergirl, I'm so sorry for missing your birthday.  You're so amazing, passing out gifts to the poor on your birthday.  What a great idea, and you're so inspiring.  Sorry, I just barely saw your thread.

 

I have a new way of dealing with rejection.  I've been asking God to teach me humility.  I made a list of ways to humble myself or to accept being humbled.  On the list is, "Be okay with being ignored, going unnoticed, or feeling unimportant in general or to anyone."  So when I feel ignored, etc., I do a happy dance in my head, realizing it's an answer to my prayer to be humbled.  This way of thinking is such a relief to me.  I know how weird this sounds to people of different faiths, but I think you will get it.

 

Happy Belated Birthday, preachergirl!

 

 

 

[[Ta...]]

From Glitter: “I have a new way of dealing with rejection.  I've been asking God to teach me humility.  I made a list of ways to humble myself or to accept being humbled.  On the list is, "Be okay with being ignored, going unnoticed, or feeling unimportant in general or to anyone."  So when I feel ignored, etc., I do a happy dance in my head, realizing it's an answer to my prayer to be humbled.”

 

This concept is really intriguing to me, Glitter, and I am deeply appreciative that you thought of it and shared it with us. I think this is a great antidote to ego, and the hurt we compound upon ourselves for feeling unseen or unappreciated for whatever reason. Benzo withdrawal and the myriad of complications it rains on us is quite a humbling experience, but something about flipping the script, and saying I will learn to appreciate being humbled, even revel in it, and learn what it needs to teach me... is revelatory. Seems almost Buddhist to me. Learn to let go of our attachments to ego and outcome. Just be.

[[Ba...]]

Hello Preachergirl,

 

 

I have only just seen your beautiful post this morning. It resonated strongly on so many levels. Your approach to deal with your situation by giving to others was very moving and inspiring. I am about to visit some family and need to shower and get out, so I have not even had time to read your replies, but I just wanted to say thank you for posting. I identified with your sentiments very strongly, and I salute you and your compassion with a fully open heart. 

 

 

I will come back and read more upon my return this evening. I have found that this site can seem both a haven and can simultaneously remind my benzo brain at a deep level of playground hurts from childhood.  You have touched on something very moving and important for my recovery - so, I know it's a bit late, but Happy Birthday, and thank you for your words and deeds.

 

 

Wishing you well and looking forward to reading more of you as we move on in this lonely struggle bound together with a common will to love and support one another.

 

Bless you,

 

 

Bancha

[[pr...]]

Benzo withdrawal has taken a toll on my CNS. My benzo brain sometimes tells me that I am all alone in this fight. When this happens I rely on my faith to get me through. I am inspired and in awe of the love that is shown on this board between complete strangers. I often feel bad when I ask a question and fail to get a response. That is why I very seldom asks questions. But, I know that it is not because people do not care, but just like in life people respond to those they feel comfortable with.

 

Today is my birthday and I was feeling a little sad to begin with. Then my niece and nephew from Jersey called to with me a happy birthday. One of my friends is driving me to the poor neighborhoods and I will pass out gifts to them to celebrate my birthday. I thought about what would make me happy and to celebrate by giving to the poor will indeed make me happy.

 

If anyone would find the time please take a second and respond to my post in General Health and Well Being. It would do a lot for my fragile CNS at the moment.

 

Benzo brain aside I will do something nice for someone today. I am determined to stand in the midst of benzo lies. I tell myself "Greater is He in me, than he that is in the world".

 

I love you all and continue to pray for your healing in all areas. :smitten:

 

 

PG

 

Hi, preachergirl, I'm so sorry for missing your birthday.  You're so amazing, passing out gifts to the poor on your birthday.  What a great idea, and you're so inspiring.  Sorry, I just barely saw your thread.

 

I have a new way of dealing with rejection.  I've been asking God to teach me humility.  I made a list of ways to humble myself or to accept being humbled.  On the list is, "Be okay with being ignored, going unnoticed, or feeling unimportant in general or to anyone."  So when I feel ignored, etc., I do a happy dance in my head, realizing it's an answer to my prayer to be humbled.  This way of thinking is such a relief to me.  I know how weird this sounds to people of different faiths, but I think you will get it.

 

Happy Belated Birthday, preachergirl!

 

 

Wow Glitter that is a great idea! Thanks for the belated birthday wish. I have come to believe that sometimes we are hidden while we are being prepared for our true assignments. When the time comes we will step forth as pure gold. I always say that "I am hidden in plain sight". I also pray and ask God to keep me humble and as far as giving, I believe that is part of my purpose. My heart truly rejoices to see others happy and treated with respect. I refuse to allow even my enemies to go without if I can help in some small way.

 

PG

[[pr...]]

Hello Preachergirl,

 

 

I have only just seen your beautiful post this morning. It resonated strongly on so many levels. Your approach to deal with your situation by giving to others was very moving and inspiring. I am about to visit some family and need to shower and get out, so I have not even had time to read your replies, but I just wanted to say thank you for posting. I identified with your sentiments very strongly, and I salute you and your compassion with a fully open heart. 

 

 

I will come back and read more upon my return this evening. I have found that this site can seem both a haven and can simultaneously remind my benzo brain at a deep level of playground hurts from childhood.  You have touched on something very moving and important for my recovery - so, I know it's a bit late, but Happy Birthday, and thank you for your words and deeds.

 

 

Wishing you well and looking forward to reading more of you as we move on in this lonely struggle bound together with a common will to love and support one another.

 

Bless you,

 

 

Bancha

 

Thank You so much Bancha!! :smitten:

 

PG

[[Gl...]]

From Glitter: “I have a new way of dealing with rejection.  I've been asking God to teach me humility.  I made a list of ways to humble myself or to accept being humbled.  On the list is, "Be okay with being ignored, going unnoticed, or feeling unimportant in general or to anyone."  So when I feel ignored, etc., I do a happy dance in my head, realizing it's an answer to my prayer to be humbled.”

 

This concept is really intriguing to me, Glitter, and I am deeply appreciative that you thought of it and shared it with us. I think this is a great antidote to ego, and the hurt we compound upon ourselves for feeling unseen or unappreciated for whatever reason. Benzo withdrawal and the myriad of complications it rains on us is quite a humbling experience, but something about flipping the script, and saying I will learn to appreciate being humbled, even revel in it, and learn what it needs to teach me... is revelatory. Seems almost Buddhist to me. Learn to let go of our attachments to ego and outcome. Just be.

 

Thanks, TaterTot, I'm glad you could appreciate it.  It's okay to be humble and such a relief.  It seems like society teaches us the opposite that it's not okay to be humble but to be loud and proud, lol. 

[[Gl...]]

 

Wow Glitter that is a great idea! Thanks for the belated birthday wish. I have come to believe that sometimes we are hidden while we are being prepared for our true assignments. When the time comes we will step forth as pure gold. I always say that "I am hidden in plain sight". I also pray and ask God to keep me humble and as far as giving, I believe that is part of my purpose. My heart truly rejoices to see others happy and treated with respect. I refuse to allow even my enemies to go without if I can help in some small way.

 

PG

 

This is beautiful, preachergirl.  I love your giving attitude. It seems like so many of us are hidden, and I believe you're right about our being prepared for our true assignments.  It's crossed my mind a lot.

 

P.S.  I'm sorry I didn't make it to your sleep apnea post in time.  I saw you deleted the content.  I hope you get the help you need.  I don't know anything about it.  I'm sure there are forums or FB groups for it.  God bless you, pg. 🙏

[[Be...]]

PG, I think on this forum people don't always get around to reading what you posted, which might be why you don't get a reply to your questions.  I don't feel ignored if people don't reply to my questions on this forum.  It happens to me all the time.  What would make me feel bad is being ignored if I'm talking to someone on the street or whatever and they ignore me.  It's possible that I've offended someone or said the wrong thing if they ignore me in person.  There's a big difference.