Insomnia and brain damages / how long could we sleep poorly?

[Guest [An...]]

Last Saturday I wanted to sleep a little bit more and I tried 25mg of Atarax, an antihistamine. No improvement. Just knocked out. I felt so bad and sad that I was going to cry. I didn't want my children see me in such status. I went to my parents and spent there 4 days. I tried to sleep again at my home yesterday but I started to hate all the noises coming from the kitchen where my wife was cooking something for the day after. I felt very sad. I can fall asleep only if I'm alone. I can't fall asleep close to my wife nor close to my son after reading him a story.

I expected a zero hours night. I had slightly less than 4. I'm trying to use a weighted blanket. Usually I'm not very comfortable with it but this night I arranged the bed in way that was more pleasant and I think it helped me perhaps. Like an idiot sometimes I put a small teddy belongings to my children close to my cushion. I can feel their smell. It calms me down a little. I know it's stupid. But when I woke up in the night alone or when I struggle to fall asleep I have only memories of my previous life. Something I had until 6 months ago.

Sorry buddies, but you know how bad insomnia is.

 

I'm so sorry man, yeah acute insomnia is completely debilitating. I see you went from 15mg Flurazepam to 5mg Diazepam. If I remember correctly, the equivalent dose is actually more like 10mg Diazepam, not to mention that you were also on Zopiclone.

 

Did the docs give you only 5mg Diazepam? You basically C/T'd half your previous dose!

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Last Saturday I wanted to sleep a little bit more and I tried 25mg of Atarax, an antihistamine. No improvement. Just knocked out. I felt so bad and sad that I was going to cry. I didn't want my children see me in such status. I went to my parents and spent there 4 days. I tried to sleep again at my home yesterday but I started to hate all the noises coming from the kitchen where my wife was cooking something for the day after. I felt very sad. I can fall asleep only if I'm alone. I can't fall asleep close to my wife nor close to my son after reading him a story.

I expected a zero hours night. I had slightly less than 4. I'm trying to use a weighted blanket. Usually I'm not very comfortable with it but this night I arranged the bed in way that was more pleasant and I think it helped me perhaps. Like an idiot sometimes I put a small teddy belongings to my children close to my cushion. I can feel their smell. It calms me down a little. I know it's stupid. But when I woke up in the night alone or when I struggle to fall asleep I have only memories of my previous life. Something I had until 6 months ago.

Sorry buddies, but you know how bad insomnia is.

 

Omg please don’t apologize. We know exactly what ur going thru. I also sleep with my sons toys, and I know other members do too. I know this is so hard. I know how scary it is when u take an antihistamine and they don’t work. It’s awful. U feel completely broken. All we can do is survive. One foot in front of the other. I was so sick yesterday I was begging god to release me or take me home. It is like nothing else. Profound suffering. But listen to others that have healed. And try to keep hope. It’s all we can do. Please read some success stories x we aren’t the only ones to experience this x

[[Qu...]]

Thanks a lot.

Last night 4h (broken) + something from zero to 1h. I can't say if I slept or not. I hadn't these feelings before switching to diazepam.

 

I'd like to ask a couple of things.

 

1. What is a microsleep exactly? How do you feel? Sometimes I can't say if I slept or not. Like amnesia (which could be a diazepam effect). I just watch the clock and it seems to me it passed more time than I realized. Not so sure if it is a good or bad sign.

 

2. I think sometimes ACCEPTANCE (-> ThEwAy2) + a weighted blanket help. I still think how unfair my nights are and how badly my life is affected. But at least being calmer allows me (sometimes) getting some short sleeps that otherwise I would have lost. Share your thoughts please.

 

[[Sh...]]

A microsleep for me is like I literally nod off for a few seconds then come too. It’s very strange. A couple of weeks ago it happened while I was reading and my book fell on my chest and it woke me up. But it might happen too when we think we’re awake.... we think we’re awake but we’re actually in N1 sleep which is the lightest stage. I had a sleep test done and they said I slept 5 hrs but I thought I was awake. So I would have been in light sleep but I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. Now I have nights like you where I have no idea if I’m awake or asleep, I have dreams or more like daydreams where I could open my eyes any time and be awake. But I don’t feel rested so it’s not deep enuf to make a difference to my day.

 

I’m still struggling with acceptance so I’m not a great person to comment here. Some days I’m really good at acceptance but some days I cannot stop crying over how horrific the insomnia is. But I do the best I can with a truly shit situation.

[[Qu...]]

Last Saturday I wanted to sleep a little bit more and I tried 25mg of Atarax, an antihistamine. No improvement. Just knocked out. I felt so bad and sad that I was going to cry. I didn't want my children see me in such status. I went to my parents and spent there 4 days. I tried to sleep again at my home yesterday but I started to hate all the noises coming from the kitchen where my wife was cooking something for the day after. I felt very sad. I can fall asleep only if I'm alone. I can't fall asleep close to my wife nor close to my son after reading him a story.

I expected a zero hours night. I had slightly less than 4. I'm trying to use a weighted blanket. Usually I'm not very comfortable with it but this night I arranged the bed in way that was more pleasant and I think it helped me perhaps. Like an idiot sometimes I put a small teddy belongings to my children close to my cushion. I can feel their smell. It calms me down a little. I know it's stupid. But when I woke up in the night alone or when I struggle to fall asleep I have only memories of my previous life. Something I had until 6 months ago.

Sorry buddies, but you know how bad insomnia is.

 

I'm so sorry man, yeah acute insomnia is completely debilitating. I see you went from 15mg Flurazepam to 5mg Diazepam. If I remember correctly, the equivalent dose is actually more like 10mg Diazepam, not to mention that you were also on Zopiclone.

 

Did the docs give you only 5mg Diazepam? You basically C/T'd half your previous dose!

 

Ashton says it's something in the 5-10mg range. Doc says start with 5 eventually we'll see. Honestly she said 5mg + 75mg pregabalin for anxiety.

With hindsight I wish I started C/O from Zopiclone and only after from Fluorazepam to Diazepam. Also because I made C/T at the end of Jan ftom Lormetazepam,

 

Tuesday I started with 6mg Valium 3.75mg Zopiclone and 75 pregabalin (switched 1.875mg Zopiclone to 1mg Diazepam).

Perhaps I should raise up Valium, I don't know. I feel any adjustment upward like a failure and I blame myself..

 

[[Qu...]]

While I still didn't finish crossing over to Valium my insomnia is worsening. Now I'm in the 2 - 4 h range 6mg of Valium and half zopiclone (3.75m).

 

I still have to find a confortable dosage and struggling. Ashton equivalence table help me but not too much. Before quitting C/T lormetazepam I could be in a 15-25mg range which is pretty wide. I didn't include my C/T in my cross over.

Likely I went too low too fast. Could be a cross over so hellish? Isn't it dangerous?

[[Sh...]]

I crossed to Valium and my insomnia didn’t get better. Sorry, sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn’t. 3.75mg zop is equivalent to 2.5mg Valium.