I’m dying

[[Be...]]

Maybe your doc should have done a functional MRI or SPECT scan that shows the activity in the brain rather than the still MRI's and CT's?

We don’t have functional MRI, I have PET/CT with FDG soon, we don’t have SPECT, I have QEEG on Saturday.

[[Be...]]

Please keep us posted about your results?

[[ma...]]

Please don't give up.

I've been there and can relate to every symptom you mention.

I'm now two years out from my taper and I am almost fully healed.

I was convinced I was dying, too - but I wasn't - I was just very sick, just like you.

You will heal eventually.

I hope this reassures you that we all heal in the end.

Much love.

X

[[Be...]]

I did QEEG and it didn’t show anything.

[[ma...]]

I've re-read all your posts and my heart goes out to you.

What you describe is pretty much how I was.

It's impossible to describe, but you've described it quite well.

I never thought I'd recover from that state, but I did.

You can, too.

I wish I could do more than merely offer words.

Much love to you X

[[de...]]

I truly believe you are in the throes of complete fear, panic, terror, BNM.  This does not mean I do not believe you are experiencing all of the symptoms you describe.  It is real to you, I know. It was real for me too.  Too bloody real. 

 

At 6 months the fear/terror was just as intense for me only producing different symptoms.  Felt like the "Seven Horsemen of the Apocalypse" had been set free within my brain.  Sometimes death felt preferable, but found it was not, as am much improved at 21 months.

 

Have you seen an ophthalmologist for what you describe as blindness?  If not, why not?  Did the neurologist say your brain cells were dead/dying, or did you just as him/her whether dead brain cells regrow, and she responded honestly with a resounding, "No", and you have run with that ball with self diagnosis?  Your posts become a little confusing BNM.  And I am on your side.

 

This is the most horrifying experience BNM, but honestly believe your symptoms are based in terror and fear.  I agree with Pamster that seeing a therapist might help.  Strategies to help you cope. 

 

Keep posting and talk with us.  It's horrible and you need support.  What does your cousin say? 

 

Dee

 

[[ma...]]

It doesn't sound like Benzonomore is in a fit state to see a therapist, or even leave the bed.

If the situation is similar to how mine was, I can totally understand why - seeing a therapist would be impossible.

This person needs lots of rest, nutrition and water, with someone looking out for them.

 

Benzonomore:

You CAN heal from this. You sound very much like how I was.

I never thought I'd get well, but I did.

Please try and hang in there as best you can - and please know that I know how hard that can be.

 

Much love to you X

[[de...]]

That is a good point to make Maverick. 

 

Dee x

[[ma...]]

Dee,

 

Sorry - I hope it didn't come across that I was dismissing your post.

I wasn't.

But from what this person describes, it reminds me how I was, and if so, there's no way a therapist is possible, or relevant at this time.

No posts or suggestion is ever a loss; they all help.

Just thought I'd mention it.

 

Mav X

[[di...]]

I love you BNM0