Bedridden

[[Be...]]

I haven't vacuum and dusted in here for weeks.  Too much other stuff to deal with each day.  I'm lucky if I can get my laundry done.  I'm so screwed.  My life is totally and completely overwhelming for me each and every day.  No sense in cutting only half the lawn at a time.

[[Aj...]]

I wish that I could be bedridden and not have to deal with and worry about so many things in my life.  I wish someone would just take care of me and do everything for me.

 

You seem to have failed to take on to account that ppl are bedridden because they are in terrible pain and disability. It is not like we are lying in bed feeling well and comfortable.

What an utterly stupid thing to say.

I suggest you hope you don’t end up like that - you simply wouldn’t be able to feed your cat or cook your meals. I know ppl who are in nappies and having to be hoisted.

You are completely failing to understand how severe some of us are. I am used to pushing after years of ME/CFS. I can’t even go out into my garden let alone work on it.

My flat has not been cleaned since 2017. I have not bathed and washed my hair for months.

Unbelievable insensitivity.

[[La...]]

Yes I have to have someone for everything. It's definitely not a state anybody should WISH to be in. Although I now understand Becks meaning of the statement after she clarified it. It was insensitive which is why I addressed that comment as well. Ajusta, I'd like to point out....not to condone Becks comment...but to allow space for consideration that some people view their current state as being the worst of all. In their turmoil they don't see that someone is worse off than them and wishing they could be in their place. I agree with you that atleast she can feed her cat, cut the grass, take a bath without help, wash her hair, fix her food etc. I CAN NOT EVEN SIT UP ON A COUCH FOR 5 MINUTES!

Having said that, I don't think Becks meant it to be offensive to anyone. I believe her perception of what bedridden means is misunderstood and viewed as a relief of her responsibilities that she has to take care of with no one to help her while dealing with the affects of benzo withdrawal. I agree with you that she would be FAR worse being alone and bedridden.

[[Tr...]]

I wish that I could be bedridden and not have to deal with and worry about so many things in my life.  I wish someone would just take care of me and do everything for me.

 

You seem to have failed to take on to account that ppl are bedridden because they are in terrible pain and disability. It is not like we are lying in bed feeling well and comfortable.

What an utterly stupid thing to say.

I suggest you hope you don’t end up like that - you simply wouldn’t be able to feed your cat or cook your meals. I know ppl who are in nappies and having to be hoisted.

You are completely failing to understand how severe some of us are. I am used to pushing after years of ME/CFS. I can’t even go out into my garden let alone work on it.

My flat has not been cleaned since 2017. I have not bathed and washed my hair for months.

Unbelievable insensitivity.

 

Ajusta. My friend Becksblue can of course speak for herself. A horrible suffering for eight years. And she is a very brave and strong woman. But this time I can’t keep quiet. Lowering the dose is hard, and all the respect. But this is not a competition, "my symptoms are worse." That's an insult! You have written "I can’t even go out into my garden let alone work on it. I have not bathed and washed my hair for months". But September 15, 2020, "Saw oral surgeon yesterday. And I have had 6 MRIs in this. Last one a couple of weeks ago, no problem at all". That makes me confused.

 

Ajusta. You can't write a nasty post and be a victim, if the truth is something else. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you have written this yourself. We are here to help others. 

 

 

[[Aj...]]

Yes, I went ten minutes in the car to the hospital.

BitcI actually can’t go in my garden or get on the bath.

 

You are supposed to be leaving me alone!

Please do so.

[[Pa...]]

This thread is truly heartbreaking, there is so much suffering brought about by these medications, I'm so sorry.

[[La...]]

Thank you Pam for your compassion. Big hugs to you.

[[be...]]

Lady, you are an amazing woman, and so strong, I know that you struggle with being able to walk and not be so sick from the dizziness, but you do not give up on yourself or others. Your posts to others suffering and your care for them is from a true Warrior, and Lady I know that one day you will be walking all you want and feeling normal, you deserve it, just like all that are suffering, and yet you never complain, but take the time to make others feel better. Thanks for what you do. Stay Strong and Stay Safe. 💖 Peace and Healing. 😷

[[La...]]

Begood what a beautiful compliment. Thank you so very much. I had such a beautiful dream that I was walking my neighborhood enjoying the Xmas lights! Wow that would be great if by Xmas I could do that. It would be all the gift I'd want. Begood you also have played a part in me staying positive. Your inspiration thread is top notch! I read it everyday. There's one on there about making it to tomorrow. I often lay down to sleep at night and say to myself " I made it another day. Let's see how much better tomorrow will be!"

There's so many of you on here that embraced me, helped, encouraged or cheer me on....Pam, Trina, Shay, Becks, Katz, Kits, Cantfly and whoever I missed. Thank y'all so much. I feel that my debilitation isn't greater than my heart. Even in this state, I'm going to extend my hand to others. That's just who I am. I'll be out of this bed one day! And I'll remain on this forum to continue extending my hand.

Much love & hugs 

[[be...]]

Begood what a beautiful compliment. Thank you so very much. I had such a beautiful dream that I was walking my neighborhood enjoying the Xmas lights! Wow that would be great if by Xmas I could do that. It would be all the gift I'd want. Begood you also have played a part in me staying positive. Your inspiration thread is top notch! I read it everyday. There's one on there about making it to tomorrow. I often lay down to sleep at night and say to myself " I made it another day. Let's see how much better tomorrow will be!"

There's so many of you on here that embraced me, helped, encouraged or cheer me on....Pam, Trina, Shay, Becks, Katz, Kits, Cantfly and whoever I missed. Thank y'all so much. I feel that my debilitation isn't greater than my heart. Even in this state, I'm going to extend my hand to others. That's just who I am. I'll be out of this bed one day! And I'll remain on this forum to continue extending my hand.

Much love & hugs 

I am a better person for knowing you. :smitten:

[[Tr...]]

Yes, I went ten minutes in the car to the hospital.

BitcI actually can’t go in my garden or get on the bath.

 

You are supposed to be leaving me alone!

Please do so.

 

To members and moderators; I apologize. But Ajusta's post to Becksblue made me sad. We all feel very bad, and harsh words are unnecessary.

 

Ajusta: This is not true. I'm not supposed to be leaving you alone. In my blog September, 15, 2020, Pamster has written; "Ajusta, you've been advised by the team to avoid Translator, do this now or the team will take action to ensure you do." So I think it's probably best if we avoid each other in the future. Then we all feel better. Have you written that I'm a bitch? 

 

 

 

 

 

[[lo...]]

I too have been bedridden 95-98% of the time for almost 2 years now.  It is a prison that I would not want for anyone.  Most people who have been in my life think that I am in bliss and sleeping all the time.  That is so far from the truth!  I am in extreme pain and do not sleep.  I try to distract as much as possible by having the t.v. on, even though it's hard to follow programs.  I look at my phone probably 18 hours a day, just flipping through posts, videos, ANYTHING, even if it's stupid, just to try to keep my mind off how bad my life is now.  I became pretty much bedridden when I went into tolerance withdrawal in October of 2018.  I ended up ct'ing 7 months ago (I wish I would have found these groups sooner to get support to taper). Since then, I have been living with extreme dp/dr, burning skin, agoraphobia, can only shower a couple times a week (and it's extremely difficult), tinnitus, fear of the dark, anxiety, severe body pain all over, etc.

 

Last night, I slept for maybe an hour here and there and during one of those "sleeps" I dreamt I was driving, with my loved ones doing all the things I used to do, had self-confidence, living a normal life.  I woke up to the most horrible nightmare of all....my own reality. 

 

I can only keep praying that I will heal and be able to get back to a normal life.  I was on clonazepam 0.5 mg. nightly for over 20 years prescribed for insomnia.  If only I would have known how bad insomnia would become after benzos. 

 

[[La...]]

Longing, my heart goes out to you! Please accept this big hug  do you have someone at home helping you?

You're very brave & strong to be in that shape for this long. I've been like this for about the same time. It's very much a prison. I totally agree. You sound like you're doing all the right things like distracting, self care as much as possible, staying focused. I want to encourage you to remain positive and keep doing hat you're doing. Something is better than nothing. I applaud your efforts! Yes it amazes me as well that people think being bedridden is like a vacation. We don't sleep all day. Matter of fact it's the opposite. Our bodies are always laying down so it's confused about WHEN to sleep. Just like you I've had dreams that I'm normal again too. Many times! I look at th m as a sign that I will someday even if it takes awhile. I try to do motions of things I'll be doing when I'm able to tolerate standing/walking. For example when I sit up in a chair ( I can do this for a few minutes) then I do motions with my arms & legs like I'm driving a car, ironing, doing laundry, washing dishes etc. this has strengthened me quite a bit. What have you tried so far?

Also on YouTube there's exercises for being bedridden. Insomnia is far worse after benzo. The part of the brain responsible for sleeping has been tampered with over & over for years. It didn't get this way overnight so it won't be overnight healing either. I've learned to accept it, expect it & embrace it. Do you use meditation to help with sleep? Have a sleep routine?

[[Ar...]]

 

It can be even worse than being bedridden. This is when you can neither lie nor sit due to the fact that the pain is incredible, your body tears and twists and you lose your mind from pain only with the last of your strength you hold on not to kill yourself immediately and stop the torment in any way.

[[Be...]]

I wish that I could be bedridden and not have to deal with and worry about so many things in my life.  I wish someone would just take care of me and do everything for me.

 

Oh god I hear you on this one!

[[jo...]]

Hey guys

 

Has anyone experienced being severely bedridden with extreme muscle atrophy and deconditioning? For the last 3 years I would estimate I’ve been stuck in bed Probably 98% of the time. Aside from making quick easy meals and coming close to passing out, and short trips to the bathroom, that is the only time I’m not recumbent. My mobility problems stem from severe POTS like symptoms and pain. My head also feels really unstable on my spine when I walk.

 

Can anybody out there relate to this?

I am so sorry that you are bedridden. As you posted in July and it is now November, I hope that things have improved for you.

Your post did not say how quick you tapered, as too fast a taper can adversely affect recovery.

You can reach out to me.

[[La...]]

How's everyone doing? Any improvement?

Personally I have just made 5 months off. I have a shift in my symptoms but not in a good way. My boatiness is still present but less....now I'm having pulling down sensation very strongly with boatiness. I'm also having more intense waves closer together. So the little progress I've made is on hold because I can't hardly walk to the bathroom and back. I do recall reading that many BBs turned back to almost acute around this time. I'm hoping it's short lived. I'm disappointed because I finally made a little progress just 2 weeks ago.

One things for sure, I'm putting on my boxing gloves and I'm gonna fight my way back! 

[[Be...]]

Sorry LadyDen, I hope you get more strength and all the symptoms disappear. 

[[La...]]

Thanks Becks! You're a sweetheart. I appreciate the encouragement. I hope you have better days too.

[[De...]]

I know this is an old post but would love to know how everyone is making out? I have found myself bedridden 99% of the day now and its really freaking me out.

[[...]]

Hope every one is doing better.

 

I'm 20 months off. I can't say for sure how I would be doing as I'm hit by another more serious illness 1 yr ago, I got covid.  Even with one of the most severe bwd cases, covid turned out to be not only as brutal but also life threatening in my experience. It made my bwd 100 times worse too.

 

If I can separate covid from my original bwd, I would think I should have improved enough to be out of bed most of the time.

 

 

Since covid hit, my goal is to get back to my pre- covid benzo stage-- when I was bedridden 95%

 

 

[[La...]]

I know this is an old post but would love to know how everyone is making out? I have found myself bedridden 99% of the day now and its really freaking me out.

Hey Deadman. Welcome to this thread. But I don't welcome you to the bedridden club Lol I'm saying I wish this wasn't happening to you or anybody on here! Having said that, it is what it is and all we can do is deal with it as best as we can one day at a time. It's debilitating in more than one way but I want to encourage you not to let it take your sanity. This is important because you're going to need it when you start getting back to being out of bed for longer periods. I'm doing ok. I'm still bedridden half or less than half the day. So it DOES get better with time. I'm now able to sit and watch a full movie with my family. I'm 10 and a half months post jump. I also can do small chores, walk outside for short distances, cook small meals, do my own personal care and started doing my artwork again. It feels SOOOOOO good doing the smallest things again. I accepted the state I was in as temporary. I expected it would be awhile. I embraced that I'm healing slowly. I want to encourage you to not let it get the best of you. Take baby steps. Distract distract distract every day. Do something positive everyday. Exercise in bed.

4mom I'm sorry you had covid. I'm glad you survived. Thx for the feeling better wishes. I hope you're doing better each day too.

[[di...]]

I'm really glad I stumbled on your post, LadyDen. Great to see that you're able to do more, including your artwork. That's great indeed! 

[[La...]]

Hey Diaz! Thanks so much for your congrats and well wishes. I pray you're making good gains as well. Big hugs!