You can do this!!

[[Je...]]

Jen,

 

I want to thank you again for taking the time to post to us.  It really means a lot to many people here.

 

May I ask how many months went by (benzo free) before you were sleeping like "a log" again?

 

Also did you have the inner vibrations and tremors?  If so, for how long?

 

Did you notice that your hormones were all messed up?  My periods seem to be all over the place.  The  hair on my body and head doesn't seem to want to grow at all.  I lost about half of ay hair during my taper.  No signs of regrowth yet and I'm three months benzo free.

 

What about weight gain?  I can't lose weight to save my life.  Many others I know who have recently become benzo free are struggling with the same problem.  What was your experience?

 

Thanks again!

 

Sandy

 

You are so very welcome Sandy.  I would do anything for you guys!!

 

I can't tell you exactly how long it was before I slept like a log again.  I remember in August (after completely being off in March) I went back to work.  I still wasn't 100% yet.  My husband kind of pushed the whole going back to work thing.  We needed money...but it was just the kick in the pants I needed.  I did the whole self doubt thing...terrified I couldn't do it but it gave me something to think about other than what I was feeling inside.  I probably wasn't "sleeping like a log" again until some time in 06 when my rheumatologist started me on flexeril to help with my pain issues.

 

Yes, I had the inner tremors...skin felt like it was on fire...couldn't concentrate to save my life...couldn't even help my daughter who was in 3rd grade at the time do simple math problems.  But in August I was doing payroll for a company.

 

I probably had the inner tremors from November 2004 to May 2005...but my time table may not be your time table.  We all got here for a reason...sleep issues...anxiety...seizure control...whatever it may be...and whatever it was that got you here...won't necessarily go away over night.  We just have to find a different way of handling it other than benzo's.  They are not the answer!!  I have anxiety issues...and I won't apologize to anyone for that.  If you had a few years to listen about my childhood...you would understand why.  I'm amazed that I walk upright sometimes...LOL  Instead of popping a benzo now...I may have a bubble bath or a glass of wine (one glass mind you..don't want to trade one problem for another!!)...or on those particulary stressful days...a bubble bath AND a glass of wine!!  Find what works for you!

 

My periods never missed a beat...but the PMS was horrific!!  It did take quite a long time for that to right itself and now I'm 43 and starting that wonderful perimenopause thing.  But ya know what...THAT'S NORMAL!!..and has nothing to do with benzo's!!  I'm growing hair in places I never did before and will have to start shaving with my hubby in the morning pretty soon!!...LOL  I also gained 10 lbs I can't get rid of..BUT THAT'S NORMAL TOO!!  I'm a middle aged woman...not gonna look like I did at 20!!

 

Love,

 

Jen

[[Sa...]]

Thanks for replying Jen. 

 

I't so good to know that you went through benzo hell too and are pretty much back to normal.  It gives us hope.

 

Sandy

[[Ta...]]

Jen,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your outlook with us. I wish we can all get together and chat (without typing!  ).

 

Love,

Tanya

 

 

[[si...]]

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

this is a great thread and something every one can really benefit from - i myself was sitting around wondering - is it going to get better - will i ever be normal - for maybe the first time in my life.

[[Je...]]

Of course you're gonna be normal again!!  Well, I'm not really sure what "normal" is...probably wouldn't know it if it smacked me in the face...LOL  But at least I'm normal for me....LOL  I came into this journey as a hyper sensitive, neurotic, socially retarded, anxious crazy woman...at that's just how I emerged...LOL  I am a bit stronger from the struggle though!!

 

Jen

[[si...]]

i feel stronger to - but i hope i have a long way to go - cause i want to be as good as i can.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Jennilyn,

            i'm not sure if i'm posting in the right place but i just wanted to thank you for the nice welcome.

all the best Free 

[[Je...]]

Thank you sweetie!!  This isn't my blog...but it works too!!

 

Love,

 

Jen

[[pe...]]

Jen,

Thanks for stopping by my blog.  Didn't you feel better as you were tapering down?  That is what is confusing for me about the possibility of being toxic is that I get worse as I taper but stay bad in between cuts but get even worse (like I was over the weekend and again today as I cut)....Did that happen to you?  Thanks again and love Pebbles

[[Je...]]

Hi Pebbles!

 

All I remember is feeling absolutely horrible the entire time I was tapering.  I swear the drugs turned toxic on me.  I did not begin to feel better until I was completely off.  This may be true for you too.  Once I was off, the improvement was slow but sure.

 

Love,

 

Jen

[[bl...]]

Hi and I'd also like to say thanks too for the post Jennilyn

 

It gives me hope and is inspiring. Especially the way you describe yourself as being in the psych hospital curled in the foetal position. I used to lie that way too and felt suicidal for months before I finally snapped and took an overdose of paracetamol, valium and alcohol. I spent a couple of days in hospital and then when I seen my own doctor when I left hospital all he did was prescribe me a book called 'mind over mood' as if it was going to make everything better and then they sent me on my way. That was 3months ago and although I don't feel suicidal anymore I still feel aching depression. Some people who knew about my suicide attempt have treated me like I have 2 heads and it has made the whole situation harder for me to deal with too. I stopped taking valium 9 days ago now and I am looking forward to just..... healing and being benzo free.

 

Well done on getting through what you did to becoming the rep of the year too!  I hope I end up stronger from my struggle too.

 

[[Je...]]

You will end up stronger Blue!!  It was the biggest nightmare of my life but I made it and am doing well...you will too!! 

 

Love,

 

Jen