Desperate - Please help

[[be...]]

Hi, Benzowarrior

 

For today, you need to decide for yourself that doing anything self-destructive is not how you will go.

 

Also, if you are on Trazadone, please talk to your doctor about what you are feeling. Trazadone comes with side-effects that include burning pain, worsening depression and especially among young people, ideation. You have had a change in how you feel, and your doctor needs to know that and take it very seriously.

 

You don’t have to be completely off of valium before you begin to feel better and recover. Relief and regaining activities can come to you in stages as you heal. Pamster said something to me that I carry with every. single. day: 

 

“When I first joined and started reading the success stories I didn't believe they were real people, now I'm one of those imaginary people.”

 

Thank you for your support  My doctor suggested the same about trazodone and tried to reduce it and introduce amitriptyline but the change revved me up so much that I couldn't continue with it. It was also working well before the awful cut to 9mg, so I think it's the benzo. I can't even think about coming off diazepam at the moment, I just want it to stabilise.

[[va...]]

Benzo warrior I think it could all be the benzo as you cut a very big amount in a short time. This you have is a very common benzo withdrawal symptom. You have to hang on to yourself and believe firmly there's a better future ahead of you, because many many many were like you and got to the other side. You have to believe that. I'm not off the drug but I'm very functional after a long hold and previous updose. Others get better only with the long hold. But it takes months for Valium to build up in your system so it's not going to resolve in a few days. I've read "think months, not weeks". It turned out to be right. Almost everyone gets better after a crash, but you have to get through today and then through tomorrow, one day at a time. You are stronger than you think.

[[be...]]

Benzo warrior I think it could all be the benzo as you cut a very big amount in a short time. This you have is a very common benzo withdrawal symptom. You have to hang on to yourself and believe firmly there's a better future ahead of you, because many many many were like you and got to the other side. You have to believe that. I'm not off the drug but I'm very functional after a long hold and previous updose. Others get better only with the long hold. But it takes months for Valium to build up in your system so it's not going to resolve in a few days. I've read "think months, not weeks". It turned out to be right. Almost everyone gets better after a crash, but you have to get through today and then through tomorrow, one day at a time. You are stronger than you think.

 

Thank you for your encouraging words. I think it was increasing symptoms and fear of tolerance which was adding to my horror as well. I developed tolerance to Ativan quickly leading to interdose withdrawals which led to my crossover to diazepam. I think this horror of tolerance is what is stopping me from being optimistic and taking it one moment at a time. I have seen lots of success on this forum with long holds though and I hope my body will reach some kind of stabilisation on this dose. Anyway, thank you for your messages.

 

Malwina

[[va...]]

In between my years of Valium, I switched to Ativan, had interdose wd with panic attacks and tolerance. Had to take more. Switched to Valium. The tolerance with Valium is not as severe as the symptoms you have now. This is plain old severe withdrawal due to cutting the med too fast. Lose your fear of tolerance because that's not the problem right now. I'm off to bed. Please hang in there. Tomorrow you'll still be here. You think you can't make it but many people have been there and they got through it and so will you.

[[he...]]

Hang in there! You dropped a lot very fast. I would try to hold. I, too, am in a horrible situation where I am now forced to hold again, and I really don't want to, but I think that's the only shot I've got. Please hang in there.

 

Edit: I just read that you get some relief from your dose. I think that is a good sign that you are still getting any relief. I haven't gotten any relief whatsoever from my doses of Klonopin for months and months. I think that means you have a pretty good chance of stabilizing one way or another. Weather that means holding or updosing, I couldn't say.

[[va...]]

Hang in there! You dropped a lot very fast. I would try to hold. I, too, am in a horrible situation where I am now forced to hold again, and I really don't want to, but I think that's the only shot I've got. Please hang in there.

 

Edit: I just read that you get some relief from your dose. I think that is a good sign that you are still getting any relief. I haven't gotten any relief whatsoever from my doses of Klonopin for months and months. I think that means you have a pretty good chance of stabilizing one way or another. Weather that means holding or updosing, I couldn't say.

 

Good point.

[[be...]]

It has been three months since the cut now and I am getting worse and worse. Had a window for five days but then symptoms came back way worse. I take 9mg at night. By late afternoon the next day, I am crawling, screaming, tingling, burning pain all inside my organs and body, tearing me to shreds. My family want to put me in a coma. This is not just some light burning. It is horrific and I can't stop choking and suffocating on my own spit. I cannot bear this anymore. Took a tiny amount of cannabis once or twice and that only helps for a few hours. I am so desperate and cannot keep going. I do not think I will ever stabilise. Do I have to take another 20mg of Valium to have a life again? I wish neurontin or amitriptyline had worked for me but they just made the burning so much worse.