Discussion: Four Phases of Withdrawal-Where Are You?

[[Nu...]]

I am definitely in stage 2 and dream of moving forward. I do get those short times in the evening of feeling somewhat normal and I want to make time stand still. I am at 6 weeks klonopin free after a slow taper. I feel like I'll never be normal again and I'm scared. I have so much anxiety this is all I worry about. I have terrible joint pain and am finally getting to see a rheumatologist. I think I have Rheumatoid Arthritis beginning as well. I have lost my appetite which scares me too.

[[lo...]]

Nursek, congrats this is some progress. I am also wondering what stage I'm in currently. my crazy acute symptoms left after 10 days,  but I have a steady baseline for the last 3 days. feel very sensitive, lightheaded, small dr/dp.

sleep is great, food is ok.  that baseline feels like a cloud, but I don't have any other symptoms then those.

I also wonder how long this weird baseline will last. and is this stage 1 just milder, or stage 2. my evenings are better, but my mornings are quiet good too, altough I am more 'energized'

[[so...]]

Locutus,

 

Given your jump date, you are in Phase One, the Acute Stage.  Most people are in acute for 3-6 months, unless they are one of the rare people who don't go through withdrawal at all.

 

It gets easier over time.

 

Sofa

[[lo...]]

I think you are right. it is not an insane acute, but not a joyful one either. I had moments of normality here and there throughout the day, but then it comes back... I think the acute phase has its phases of its own.

 

Locutus,

 

Given your jump date, you are in Phase One, the Acute Stage.  Most people are in acute for 3-6 months, unless they are one of the rare people who don't go through withdrawal at all.

 

It gets easier over time.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Nursek,

 

Many withdrawal symptoms mimic other diseases.  You, most probably, do not have RA.  So many people have joint, nerve and muscle pain during withdrawal.  It is very common.  Loss of appetite is common also.  Very few people feel like eating when they feel unwell.  It is par for the course.  Your body needs whole healthy food, not processed with preservatives.  Do your best to choke down eggs, cottage cheese, blueberries, chicken, a few green veggies, etc.  Your brain needs fuel to heal.

 

Sofa

[[Te...]]

I'm in phase 2. It's still hell.

[[lo...]]

do you have moments when you feel pretty good? i'm 3 weeks out, and have flashes of being my old self and feel very energized.  I'm hungry as hell and could eat literally anything. I did some heavy walking in snow yesterday in 0F temp, and that ramped me up like crazy, was sore all over and sleep was rough.

wondering what the difference will be when I hit phase2, is it like you fell 100% normal occasionally.

day 5-12 was hell for me, but since that leveled out, im fairly stable overall....

 

the scariest thought I have now is going back to work, altough

I'm in phase 2. It's still hell.

[[so...]]

TeeCee,

 

Phase Two was very rough for me.  I never had windows, so it was pretty much like acute, but with a parade of new symptoms popping in and out, changing and morphing into other versions of themselves.  A real peachy treat.

 

I hope I'm approaching Phase Four soon.  Phases Two and Three were long suckers for me.

 

Sofa

[[Be...]]

Almost 9 months off and I'm phase two, I guess!

[[Da...]]

I feel like I am slowly entering phase two. I feel like my sxs are starting to 'morph' too. I had severe 24/7 head and jaw pressure, which seems to be diminishing now and being replaced with a severe physical lethargy. I feel very sore, weak and utterly exhausted. Even sitting up is a frustrating effort. I am starting to feel 'locked in' to my own body now, as my severe paradoxical mental sxs are fading away, I feel as if I have my mind back, but my body isn't working so I can't put it to any use. I have dozens of ideas and things I'd love to do, but I am too physically sick to do them. I am starting to understand what it must feel like to have a working mind in a totally broken body. It's the most soul destroying feeling I have ever felt. I am having to plan how I am going to do even the smallest tasks like cleaning the house or even washing the dishes. Tuesdays and Fridays are non existent right now as those are my Subutex collection days and I crash big time after going out. Benzos robbed me of my ability to think clearly, and as this ability comes back, I am having dozens of new ideas about things I'd love to do, but cannot because my sick, weak body won't allow me to. I am in frustration central right now.

 

Benzos gave me a horrible, dark, 'chemical' depression. This has gone, and I am getting a new kind of depression that centers on the fact I cannot do any of the things I would really love to do. If I do dare to do anything, I must make sure I allow a good few days after to recover from it.

[[so...]]

Dapple,

 

It's a really promising sign of the healing going on that you WANT to do things.  That part of your brain is working!  Enthusiasm!  It's the seratonin and the norepinephrine kicking into gear!  The feel good transmitters are coming back.  Your body will follow the lead of your brain and slowly you'll be able to do more things.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

It's been a long haul, 25.5 months.  I am now firmly planted with both feet in Phase Four.  Two stubborn symptoms left to go.  They have dampened down a lot over two years. 

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

Sofa

[[Be...]]

It's been a long haul, 25.5 months.  I am now firmly planted with both feet in Phase Four.  Two stubborn symptoms left to go.  They have dampened down a lot over two years. 

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

Sofa

 

It took you so long to reach phase 4, given that you only used Ativan sporadically for 2 months!

 

This way it will take me forever!

[[pr...]]

I believe I'm in stage three...

 

I've been able to exercise just about every day for the last month or so.  Nothing difficult- walks, slow 15 min sessions on an exercise bike, and easy martial arts practice.  Tough part is, I just hit a wave and I'm back to only being able to walk a little ways down the street before having to come back.  Then, once I'm out of it, back to the rhythm I stated above.  So odd.

 

God has been good to me- I've actually been in school this last five months.  Some days, I wonder how I get through it, picking my legs up on by one to get into the car to go home.  I have to be thankful for such a grace.  I went off Xanax right before we moved across the country for me to go to school. 

 

My current symptoms are: head shakes off and on at the neck, left arm / hand shakes, jelly legs off and on (unable to walk up stairs one day, next day I can walk a couple miles), most odd and annoying symptom is that it is hard for me to watch movies (and I love films!), the cutting from scene to scene, the flashing- I just can't do it, the same with scrolling on a phone, no dice.  Benzo belly, gut issues.  General anxiety.  This recent wave, it feels like my body is on the verge of a panic attack (I feel the raw headache / chemical withdrawal feeling), but it never happens.  Wooshes of anger / rage come and go and I'm not angry or stressed at all.  This happens much more quickly and passes quickly.  Intrusive thoughts are losing their power.  Definitely.  But still come and go.  So... still have some things going on for sure.  BUT, I'm praying that the 6 month mark is a breakthrough.  A lot of people talk about that... the 6 month mark milestone.  Setting my face for 7 months... Appreciate you all and your suffering. 

 

We cannot waste our suffering, friends.  We can redeem it.  Merry Christmas! 

[[Te...]]

TeeCee,

 

Phase Two was very rough for me.  I never had windows, so it was pretty much like acute, but with a parade of new symptoms popping in and out, changing and morphing into other versions of themselves.  A real peachy treat.

 

I hope I'm approaching Phase Four soon.  Phases Two and Three were long suckers for me.

 

Sofa

Sofa,

The gabapentin withdrawal complicates everything. Every time I step down a dose I regress to the state I was in while withdrawing from the klonopin. Symptoms that were resolving worsen again. I've got about two weeks left of the gabapentin and I expect the next month to be difficult.

[[bu...]]

I am not clear where I am since I am off klonopin 6 mths, ambien 3 and supposedly have fibro and inflammatory disease (I believ they may be benzos caused like so many of us). I just push through everything refusing to believ this can beat me. So can I really be at stage 4? I have a lot of symptoms joint and muscle pain, migraines, tinnitus, insomnia, DP/dr akasthia. But I exercise intensely!!! I can think clearly, I have mostly windows in my opinion. I had every symptom possible during wthis thdrawal, so this feels great to me. I thought I was dying and this feels like living so I will take it even if it never gets much better. Though I do hold on for the idea that in time it will get better!!!

[[so...]]

Butterfly,

 

If you are already in Phase Four, you may be one of the lucky ones.  You have been off the medication a relatively short time but, depending on whether you tapered or not, you may not experience the severity of symptoms that others do.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

TeeCee,

 

I took Gabapentin for almost 3 years and CT'd Gabapentin and Ativan on the same day.  My journey may obviously be different from yours for that reason alone.  As you come off the medications, just know that your body is going through a recovery period of readjustment and that you are healing every day.

 

Sofa

[[Be...]]

TeeCee,

 

I took Gabapentin for almost 3 years and CT'd Gabapentin and Ativan on the same day.  My journey may obviously be different from yours for that reason alone.  As you come off the medications, just know that your body is going through a recovery period of readjustment and that you are healing every day.

 

Sofa

 

Would you consider yourself 100% healed by now?

[[so...]]

BenzoCalamity,

 

Everybody is different.  Try not to compare yourself to others because your journey through this process is completely unique to you.  Our bodies are temporarily out of synch and we have an internal healing system to get us back into balance.  We all heal 100% according to our individual body clocks.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

BenzoCalamity,

 

No, I am not 100% recovered yet.  I still have a few symptoms.  I think I am just nearing the end of the process of regaining balance between the neurotransmitters and receptors.  I am not there yet, but I have put a lot of time in and have been healing slowly and steadily.

 

Sofa

[[Da...]]

Dapple,

 

It's a really promising sign of the healing going on that you WANT to do things.  That part of your brain is working!  Enthusiasm!  It's the seratonin and the norepinephrine kicking into gear!  The feel good transmitters are coming back.  Your body will follow the lead of your brain and slowly you'll be able to do more things.

 

Sofa

 

I hope so

 

I've read a lot of your posts and all the wonderful support you've given to others despite your own ordeal. People like you restore my once waning faith in humanity.  :hug:

[[so...]]

Dapple,

 

You know what?  This forum has restored my once waning faith in humanity too.  All of us are suffering, yet we reach outside our misery to wrap our arms around one another with deep compassion and sympathy.  The unselfishness that is so apparent on this forum is astounding.  We all know how tough it is to GIVE when we are in pain, but we do it over and over again.  This is the glory of the human spirit.  Grace under fire.  I've read many of your posts of support and people count on hearing your words in their heads long after you've written them.

 

This journey is lonely and scary.  We will not be like this forever, just while we're recovering.  We will beat this, dammit.  Everyone beats this.  We will go on to live beautiful lives with a newfound strength we never knew we had within us.  Nothing will bother us.  Everything pales in comparison to what we've experienced.  We won't just heal 100%.  It will be 200%.  We will have a kick to our step.  We will wear our spiritual souls on the outside and everyone around us will sense a touch of heaven emanating from us.  You just watch.  When people endure the suffering we have, there are rewards that are given to us.  This is temporary.  What is waiting for us is permanent joy for the rest of our time on earth and beyond.  I believe this with all my heart.  I've seen so many miracles these past two years, big and small.  Every incident has pointed to one thing:  I am being healed for a far greater purpose and my suffering is playing a part in my blueprint.  We all have one.  And it is really good.

 

Sofa

[[Gr...]]

Dapple,

 

You know what?  This forum has restored my once waning faith in humanity too.  All of us are suffering, yet we reach outside our misery to wrap our arms around one another with deep compassion and sympathy.  The unselfishness that is so apparent on this forum is astounding.  We all know how tough it is to GIVE when we are in pain, but we do it over and over again.  This is the glory of the human spirit.  Grace under fire.  I've read many of your posts of support and people count on hearing your words in their heads long after you've written them.

 

This journey is lonely and scary.  We will not be like this forever, just while we're recovering.  We will beat this, dammit.  Everyone beats this.  We will go on to live beautiful lives with a newfound strength we never knew we had within us.  Nothing will bother us.  Everything pales in comparison to what we've experienced.  We won't just heal 100%.  It will be 200%.  We will have a kick to our step.  We will wear our spiritual souls on the outside and everyone around us will sense a touch of heaven emanating from us.  You just watch.  When people endure the suffering we have, there are rewards that are given to us.  This is temporary.  What is waiting for us is permanent joy for the rest of our time on earth and beyond.  I believe this with all my heart.  I've seen so many miracles these past two years, big and small.  Every incident has pointed to one thing:  I am being healed for a far greater purpose and my suffering is playing a part in my blueprint.  We all have one.  And it is really good.

 

Sofa

 

Thank you for this Sofa. As you know this is a long lonely and sometimes scary journey and your words tonight we're just what I needed to see.

[[li...]]

I think phase 3. I feel like I have healed a lot but still at 8 mg V equivalent of Xanax.