Will This ever end?

[[...]]

I was doing great until Saturday when I was hit out of nowhere with terrible depression and crying. I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I am now on day 5. I've been trying to take walks every day and get out of the house. I'm having trouble going places bc I start to freak out a little - I'm guessing slight agoraphobia.

 

I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Is this how it is going to be the entire time I try to taper? I am at a loss.

 

I was stable at .5mg for 3 weeks after a c/t and then too fast taper. I was prepared to start my w/t this weekend and then WHAM - I get my butt handed to me by this drug.

 

Can anyone tell me if this is just going to keep on going? If it is I see no reason to hold at this dosage *hoping* I'll see the light and feel great again.

 

Anything you can say I would really appreciate it right now. Its strange, but in the evenings all of this crap seems to go away and I feel better then it starts all over again as soon as I wake in the morning.

[[Be...]]

I'm so sorry you've been hit with depression, Amy.  Many members have posted that they can handle the physical symptoms but those mental/emotional ones really get them down.  My experience with w/d symptoms in general has been that they come in waves.  I had a few which lasted for months but most lasted just days or weeks.  You don't need to expect that you will feel this bad for the duration because the depression could lift at any time.  You are doing the right thing by getting outside and walking.  Regular mild exercise has been shown in studies to be as effective as an anti-depressant for mild-moderate depression and even though yours may seem more severe than that, it still will help. 

[[Zu...]]

AmyA, I'm right there with you.  Feeling alot of depression/anxiety/fear.  I think this is the worst part of it:  the fear of how we are thinking/feeling.

 

Beeper, thank you for mentioning that sometimes the emotional/mental stuff that is often worst sometimes than the physical.  That is where I am at, too.  I feel completely "crazy" since w/d...lot's of fear, irrational thinking.  It's worse than the physical and I question it every day.  Is it just me, or is it w/d?  I have to remind myself that I wasn't like this before the benzo, so it's not just me.  It's so hard to convince/calm yourself...

[[...]]

Hi Amy!

 

Wow that sounds very much like what I went through over the past few weeks. 

Depression is definitely one of the nastier symptoms.  It can be so overpowering.

Yet it will begin to lift.  No doubt about it.

I know that's hard to believe while in the peak of depression, but it's true.

 

Hope it lifts for you soon!

 

[[...]]

You aren't alone!  Not sure if that helps....but sometimes just knowing we aren't the only one in the universe feeling depressed is a bit comforting.  Did you have problems with depression prior to starting or stopping benzos?  hugs, mica

[[Re...]]

I second that emotion, that the depression will lift.  My experience with depression hit at the 4-5 months mark. I didn't experience any depression while tapering.  My depression would last for a couple of days each time, and then it would lift as quickly as it came.  In my opinion, the depression was far worse than the phsical symptoms for I had never experienced depression in my life.  I felt as if I had bee dumped into a black pit with no way out; my brain was in so much pain.  Once I got passed the 5 month mark, I never experienced depression again.  Rest assured, it will lift.  Hang in there buddies.

 

Continue to stay the course.

Retire2010

[Guest [ke...]]

I agree with everyone else here. While tapering, I have been hit with the most darkest depression.. one day, it felt like I was dieing, literally. I just laid down, and it finally past. It was gloomy. It's like a depression that just feels like the sky has fallen, and you're out of this world. It's the w/d, not you.. I just try to ride it out. It will clear up.

Here's something strange, while on Klonopin.. It got rid of anxiety, but cast the deepest depression.. I can't even begin to express how it felt, other than just wanting to crawl under a rock.

I hope the depression passes for you soon.

 

Keryn.

[[re...]]

^{I second that emotion, that the depression will lift.  My experience with depression hit at the 4-5 months mark. I didn't experience any depression while tapering.  My depression would last for a couple of days each time, and then it would lift as quickly as it came.  In my opinion, the depression was far worse than the phsical symptoms for I had never experienced depression in my life.  I felt as if I had bee dumped into a black pit with no way out; my brain was in so much pain.  Once I got passed the 5 month mark, I never experienced depression again.  Rest assured, it will lift.  Hang in there buddies.}

 

^{Continue to stay the course.}

^Retire2010

 

 

That is one of the most reassuring messages I've read.  Thank you.

[[we...]]

Rebecca,

 

I found my taper to be very difficult.  It really did not ease up but I probably did a too rapid taper.  I got hit with depression and it started to lift the day I took my last benzo.  I'm been healing ever since.  Take care.